ads

oh dear god send us a pic of a butchered deer in a bathtub, that's some fucking HAWT OC

cap: loychut lillicrapp

freeze most of the meat keep what you are going to eat soon in the fridge.
With it being a wild animal I wouldn't eat the liver but your call OP

not to be a dick, but in the future you need to call cops who will issue a ticket or something (not to fine you). Reason being, if you got pulled over you could get in trouble for pouching or watnot. Looking out for fellow anon

Eat the loin/fillet first, as it'll spoil slightly once frozen. Other than that it's up to you. Juniper berries and bitter chocolate sauce goes incredibly well with venison.

>>2442176
actually depends on the state laws
here if you kill it with your car its yours

>>2442185
That`s good to know, thx 4 the nfo

captcha: mements much

>Eat the loin/fillet first
Yeah, I think I'll put those in buttermilk overnight and freeze rest for gulash or something. Thanks everyone! Here's a cellphone pic of leftovers, I'm cleaning up now.

>>2442219
OH THAT IS AWESOME!

>>2442219
MOAR

>>2442219
holy shit dude

wuut

>>2442219
OP is so Alpha. Who's awesome? You're awsome. I thought this was going to be some troll post. =)

>>2442219
yeah right op, i don't believe your story one bit
you MURDERED someone and butchered the body and now your trying to cover your tracks and remove your guilt.

Holy balls this is the most interesting thread on this board for awhile.

Pic of all the meat?

OH MY FUCKING GOD!
I was just browsing first time ever in /ck/
I decided I love this board an will stay.

If OP doesn't post a picture of him laying in the tub with the meat surrounding and on top of him, he is but a troll.

I'd get it on ice or in a freezer ASAP until you get a good idea what to do with it.

Also, try to keep relatively mum about it. Depending on the hunting laws in your state, you might be required to report it to the state wildlife division. If the wrong people find out you may have to deal with paperwork and possibly a fine, so don't brag about it unless you want to slog through legal matters.

Meat pics please. Was one side of it bruised or was it still good after getting hit by the car?

freeze what you can get off the bone,, but don't worry your pretty little head too much. if you bled it out and it wasn't contaminated by burst bowels, it'll keep, even at room temp, for days

i'd freeze the backstrap, bone out the rounds and the shoulder and freeze, and chop up enough of the rest to make stock, and bury the rest asap.

if the bowels were burst, i wouldn't eat a single mouthful- i'd toss it all and be regretful, but happy and alive.

>>2442364
That seems like a bad idea, considering the fact that you're supposed to wear protective gloves when handling raw game meat.

>mfw op's deer has rabies

Op here. Wish I had taken more pictures but I was in a hurry. I live in apartament, garbage bin is two blocks away, I wanted to get rid of the evidence while it's still dark. I could have butchered it better but it was middle of the night, after whole day of work and all I had at disposal was kitchen knives. Less meat than you would expect, the animal was young and small.

>try to keep relatively mum about it
I know, I"ll just share with family. I grabbed the deer because it seemed like such a waste of animal.

>if you bled it out and it wasn't contaminated by burst bowels
The deer bled out when it was hit, there was little blood in the meat. Bowels didn't burst, stomach did.

>Was one side of it bruised or was it still good after getting hit by the car?
Front was badly damaged - both legs were almost ripped off

>you're supposed to wear protective gloves when handling raw game meat
didn't wear :x

>>2442435
DON'T EAT THAT MEAT
those dark spots indicate diseased meat
there may already be larvae eggs in the meat.

Also,
>mfw police think there was a murder in OP's apartment

Am I the only one that finds this deeply disturbing? How will you ever be able to shower there again without thinking that you also butchered an animal where you're standing?

>>2442468
This will only bother you if you're vegan.

GTFO.

>>2442471
I enjoy meat as much as the next guy but this actually does make me a little queasy

>>2442445

FUCKING WHAT HE SAID. It's not worth it, seriously.

http://www.fieldandstream.com/articles/health-fitness/2010/10/your-game-meat-safe-eat

ily OP

>>2442445
You sure that's not just normal oxidation?

>>2442445
larvae eggs of what? Freezing, cooking well done won't do??

>>How will you ever be able to shower there again without thinking that you also butchered an animal where you're standing?
I spend last 40 minutes scrubbing bathroom clean. And why would I feel queasy about standing in a spot where I butchered animal, when I didn't feel queasy while butchering it?

>>2442485
It does kind of look like silver skin or something....only op would know

>>2442487
Looks pretty good, enjoy and let us know if anything went horribly wrong.

>>2442481
Thanks for the link. The meat looks ok to me. I put it on balcony for now (-15° outside). Also, I threw away all the entrails.

>>2442445
I've never cooked deer, but this colour usually appears in rotting meat. I prefer to cut it off, but I never saw it on fresh meat (I sometimes eat the -80%, shelf line last day, meat of supermarket.)
It may be gangrene too. It is as bad as it sounds.
In case of doubt, don't eat it. And, even if it is a shame, cook it through, don't let it raw or bloody or under 100°C (boiling point).
Avoid brain, backbone/spine, digestive tube (it's, literally, full of shit).

And if you get ill in the next few weeks, go see a fucking doctor before it gets worst, as it may be something as horrible as tuberculosis as said in >>2442481 's link...

Nice, OP. Keep the bones with a little meat attached to them, cut them into 2-3'' sections and make stock with 10-15lbs for two gallons or so. If you're not going to make it soon just double bag them and leave them outside; then make it sometime before spring. Also, what is your experience in dressing game?

>>2442522
I would recommend against this. To my understanding the marrow can contain all sorts of nasties.

>>2442147
enjoy your Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease op, you fucking vulture.

I'm impressed OP. Please do make another thread when you actually cook this.

>>2442527
lol, if op actually cooks and consumes this deer this will be the last thread he'll be making. he'll definitely be dying of some sort of horrible bacterial/viral infection.

When I was younger, my stepdad had to put down a roe deer outside of his yard. It had broken its back, so he shot it, so the adrenaline would not taint the meat. It made a delicious new years dinner.

>>2442527
This too, I want to hear the coking part of the story. (And the "guys, I'm posting from a hospital bed" part too, if it happens.)

>>2442532

Idk about that. I hunt and eat the deer I kill. Never got sick from it.

>>2442537
you're a skilled hunter that kills the deer with hopefully a well placed shot that doesn't burst intestines and other internal organs all over the place unlike the way a vehicle slamming into the creature would. additionally, you probably know what the fuck you're doing in regards to butchering, preparing the meat etc. OP obviously doesn't know what the fuck he is doing since he's butchering a dead deer he found lying on the side of the road in his bathtub at 4 in the morning and asking for directions from total strangers on a less than reputable image board.

ITT pansies

omg OP is ALPHA AS FUCK
this is the most awesome thread i have EVER seen on /ck/

>>2442488
that silver colour is just fascia.
If it doesn;t smell bad I wouldn't worry. Just cook it well.
I would marinate it in some salt if I were you before cooking to get the rest of the blood out (seeing as you didn't get a chance to hang it).
Otherwise, it looks like a normal dead deer to me.

Actually I did some corned deer last month, and the fascia on the sirloin was iridescent blue. The colour you have there is fine.

the liver is safe too eat but i wouldn't recommend cooking it less than medium-well, soem wild game do have parasites and are known to be in the liver. unless you know a lot about how to cut meat i would suggest just cutting in to large roasts and then cut all the small pieces off the carcass and grinding it and making sausage, you can always use a food processor if you dont have a grinder, just make sure you dont over load it,
awesome score

Here's that deer. The red is spices and beet juice.
I am also thinking, the dark spots mentioned might be bruises, considering.
And ditto regarding the liver. I have heard of animals where the liver was all gristly from eating too much herbicide grain, but you would not likely have worry about that with a little jumper

Also... last time we processed a deer we used the spine to make the most amazing stew.
I don't know about using the actual nerve - you might want to check on the insidence of chronic wasting disease in your area.
But it was one of the yummiest stews I have ever had.

ITT: Pussies who shouldn't be allowed to eat meat if they're afraid of butchering.

OP Hang the meat for a few days, otherwise it will be tough.

>>2442630
ditto

>>2442630
Yeah do this.

Also this meat will be particulary gamey due to the way it was handled but I'm guessing it will be just as delicious,

Also to all the fags in here.
How can you eat meat but not approve of where it came from?

Half of this thread impresses me, half disappoints me. God it's been so long since I've had deer.

Anyway, good on you OP for not letting another driver's negligence go to waste.

There is a reason you can't buy venison in the supermarket - it is shit tier meat.

Very fresh raw liver is da bomb! I say this but I do not like the taste at all.

If it is very, very fresh I take about two onzs and chop the shit out of it and add a few drops of Tabasco/lemon-lime juice/Worcestershire. About 30 to 40 mins latter you will get a definite feeling that something is happening. A sense of energy flowing through you ... almost a tingling in your skin. It is not heavy nor over-powering but it will be unlike anything else. It lasts about two hours then fades.

It is best with very fresh liver, if it is fresh store-bought you get something but it is almost un-noticeable.

I don't know why it is or how but I got a friend to try as well and he got the same effect. Have done it with calf and lambs liver but the same.

Does any one know what it is and why?

Actually, I just remembered that CJD and those other neurological diseases don't even appear in animals until they are a couple of years old, so if this is a baby that is no worry about that outside chance at all. You might want to double-check this advice, but I don't think it is a problem.

I've had roadkill deer and regular deer, and I can safely say that there are taste differences.

Roadkill deer is... strangely tender (it made me think of electrocuted chicken meat), and the texture just felt off. I'd suggest using it as a stew meat where the taste and texture can be disguised.
Save hunted deer for steaks and filets.

And of course, cook everything thoroughly. It doesn't matter if the animal had rabies, cooking will kill it.

>>2442651
What the hell? Are you sacrificing it and eating the liver to power your magikal rituals?

>>2442651
I quite like raw liver, but I can't say I've ever noticed any weird effects.

SO I read this thread, and what I'm taking away from it is that deer are the scourge of the earth and inedible at all times.

All this fear is unnecessary. CJD and BSE are diseases caused by factory farming, and no danger in wild animals.

>>2442649
>>2442672
Absolute nonsense. Venison is delicious. The reason you don't find much in supermarkets is that people who have access to hunted venison consume it all, and venison farmers tend to sell it through local outlets like farmers' markets.

>>2442682

Deer are susceptible to CWD and it's not advised you eat infected meat. That said, I'd eat OP's meat.

ARCHIVE THIS SHIT

Anyone who knows how to butcher a carcass already would know what to do with it afterwards. You fucking lie.

Going with the popular belief in this thread, it's probably diseased. Every single hunting/survival show/forum warns that when skinning and preparing an animal, the most important part is to be gentle so they organs don't burst and infect the meat. I wouldn't trust it because it was hit by a car. Enough force to kill it is enough force to rupture all sorts of shit.

>>2442708
Some deer, but not Roe deer, according to Wikipedia:

"Chronic wasting disease (CWD) is a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy (TSE) of mule deer, whitetailed deer, elk (wapiti), and moose."

>>2442708
I bet you would love to have Ops meat inside you too?

>>2442717
The fact that some of the meat was crushed in the collision doesn't mean the animal is diseased. There's nothing whatsoever to indicate that OP's animal was diseased.

The reason people avoid bursting the internal organs when they're paunching a deer is merely to guard against bacteria and worms getting into the meat, and to avoid the contents of the gall-bladder (which tastes very bitter) getting onto it. But OP butchered the animal in the bath, and presumably washed the meat as he was going along. Providing he did that, and got rid of any bruised flesh, he should have problems.

>>2442709
Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

>>2442728
>should have problems.
Bugger!
should have no problems.

>>2442723

Good to know. I've no experience with roe deer, just whitetail...there are no roe deer where I'm at that I know of.

hahaha this is fucking awesome.

get those backstraps out!

ARCHIVE THIS SHIT

holy shit you did a bad job with that! thats fucking disgusting. Enjoy your degenerative brain disease!

OP you are fucking badass

ARCHIVE PLZ

Wow, what a load of nancy pansies you guys are. People have been eating all kinds of meat for all ages. Rotten meat was, and is, a delicacy. Why don't you trust your senses and your bodies? Are you truly so fucked up that you've lost all sense of reason?

itt: people with no experience with venison chime in with their worthless opinions

Sweet jesus, OP has some balls.

Balls are for weak, OP has a quad or two.

>>2442887
No, this guy does >>>2442650

>>2442710

Not necessarily true. I've never butchered my own deer, but I've hunted and killed two in my life, plus I've butchered plenty of fowl. Even though I've never butchered a roe deer, I feel like I'd be able to.

Not everyone is a pansy ass, afraid to try something tough like butchering a freshly killed wild animal.

eating some venison jerky right now, its goood

that said it's kind of risky what your doing, if the bowels burst, pretty much everything is ruined. you stated they didn't but the stomach did..

stomach juices infecting the meat isn't much better. you will probably be fine, but at least understand there is some risk involved. as has been stated, all kinds of things can go "pop" inside the body of a deer when struck by a car and that = bad meat.

May I suggest roasting all the bloody-meaty bones and boining em down into a lovely 'jus'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Au_jus
You caqn use it for all kinds of stuff and it's super delicious

>eating roadkill

America confirmed for being worse than fucking Africa.

Hope you wore gloves when handling it, you gone get rabies, foo'.

You know, everyone's saying "blah blah gross roadkill" but it isn't like this deer was lying in the road for a day or two. OP said he saw the deer get hit and immediately took it home and cleaned it up after assessing it to be in good condition.

I wouldn't say that is gross. I would say it is a good use of what would otherwise be spoiled meat.

I'm a vegetarian and I think you're fucking awesome.

I hope you don't catch any shit from it and wish you a pleasant meal, OP.

OP, make Sauerbraten.

Pot roast which is marinated in red wine vinegar, red wine, spiced with peppercorns, bay leaves, cloves and nutmeg. [also read someone saying juniper berries, which would go awesome in this as well].

Take all the stuff out the marinade after marinating the meat and cook with the meat to get epic gravy.

The vinegar will tenderise the meat, so any worries about it being a bit tough shouldnt matter.

If OP didn't take the deer, other animals would have eaten it.

You can really tell who the faggots are... the ones who grew up and have never left the city, and have no idea how the rest of the planet lived.

I haven't been fortunate enough to have a deer hit in front of me, but I would definitely go OP's route... not in the bathtub though, I clean my white tails in the shed.

Nice going OP.

thanks for a great thread OP!

I'm the anon who posted the corning vat picture above.
I haven't had the pleasure of trying bambi veal, but I did get the hide from a friend who hit one once.
It was the thickness of fine goatskin, and made a great head for my banjo.
Now you should try cooking food on your engine.

>>2442185
Same her, I'm in the Southern US. In some cities, there's a list you can put your name on. If someone hits a deer and reports it, the cops call a person on the list to get the deer.

...as well, I don't hunt anymore, but I still manage to get moose and deer from friends, and I actually get wild birds from people in town who hunt for sport and give them away. Check freecycle, kijiji or other sources. There are connections if you look for them.

And by the way, I had a meal of stuffed beaver once (and yes, I mean the aquatic rat). It was delicious. I presume porcupine would be not much different. After all, guinea pigs were originally sold for food, not pets.
So if you see a fresh one of those, I wouldn't turn my nose up at it.

I wish we could hunt down and roast the pussified cityboys who thinks meat came from air conditioned semis.

>>2443087
Except just think of what they are fed on. It would be like eating corndog and slurpee pate

OP you are a fucking moron


inb4 hurr durr CITYBOY U GAY

I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere i only eat what i kill

>>2443102
You obviously don't hunt, because anyone who hunts or is in an area full of hunters knows clean roadkills are totally kosher.

>>2443102
What if you killed it with your vehicle would you still eat it?

I just about got hit once by a flying deer that someone else had hit. How would that work?

Hi op , i saw this thread from /k/

Right on buddy

Some times a car hitting a deer the neck breaks and there little damage to the internal organs. This one time I came home from work and my b/f was butchering a deer in my kitchen he got off and hit and run. Those where the Greatest venison steaks I've ever had.

>>2443106
I've eaten a deer that got killed on the side of the road before when it was still fresh and it was fine.

OP I gotta respect you. I'm way to squeamish and wouldn't have the guts to butcher something.

OP

Clean your bathtub before your girlfriend/mom/...boyfriend gets home

Good job op, that deer did not die in vain.

>>2443401
Something would have eaten it. Just because a human can't use it doesn't mean it "died in vain".

>>2443481

But then the vulture gets hit by a car, and so on.

I think OP is pretty badass. Might as well use it if it's there and you're able to do something with it.

>>2443481
Good thing a human can use it!
Venison jerky is delicious, btw. Make some if you have the time OP.

Alpha as fuck.

>>2443113
No because my car is nasty >>2443106
in my state its not deal w/ it

When I was a kid, maybe about 8 or 9, my dad hit a rattlesnake crossing the road with his truck. Assuming it was dead, he put it in a bucket in the bed of the truck and brought it home. My mom wildly protested, but he felt bad he killed the animal and didn't want it's life to be lost in vain.

So he gets me outside and I "help" him butcher the snake. Basically I just collected all the guts and waste parts and threw them away for him, including the venom sacs. Eventually, he had a full skin which he had mounted, like it was some proud kill, and maybe a good two pounds of meat.

He basically just barbecued it over the grill on sticks. My mom and sister refused to eat it, but my dad and I did. Shit tasted good. It was tough as hell and stringy too, though, but damn tasty.

Godspeed OP

HANG IT FOR AT LEAST 5 DAYS

I've taken care of deer as well. I ground most of the meat up and mixed it with ground pork.

Also, did the colon get ruptured? That can spoil the entire thing.

I come from /co/, someone posted this thread in there.
This is fucking amazing. I actually laughed out loud when I read your original post OP.

GG. The deer died, but it's death was not in vain, as it became someone's meal.

>>2442176
No, at least not in the US. It's poaching if YOU hit it but anyone can pick up roadkill.

>>2443663

Depends on the state. Here if you are transporting a large game animal, it needs to be tagged. You can call the game commission and they will issue you a road kill tag.

>>2442147

Dropping in from /k/. OP, you are a God.

I'm happy we married you /ck/.
love, /co/.

>>2443668

/k/ has a lot more experience with hunting, cleaning and preparing wild game, probably should have gone there first OP and come to /ck/ when everything was done

I nominate OP for man of the month. Godspeed OP.

Swede here

I can buy fresh deer meat in a super market (as well as moose and boar)

This thread made me want to go buy some and cook it

feels good man

ive killed 5 deer road kill, i bleed them all to finish them off, short of a few broken bones there was never any problem with meat

pic related last winters kill

>>2443692
Canadian fag. I am jealous.

>>2443697
what do you drive that hasn't fallen apart after hitting five deer?

>>2443709

gmc truck was one
f250 one
1986 ford mustang, killed three at once, it was epic, all i did was break a headlight and the low bumper broke all thier legs, it was a doe and her 2 young, they were delicius

>mfw OP gets kuru but dies in the most alpha way possible

>>2443709
Not the same guy, but I've hit four deer and my car it was only noticeably dented once, and all I drive is a regular Ford Focus. I don't target them or anything, but I've gone on tons of road trips through the middle of nowhere.

Also, OP is MAN... A MANLY MANLY MAN!

Are all you morons screaming about diseases aware that humans DID hunt and kill and eat wild animals in the past before the Facebooks and Intertrons and Twitters?

Jesus christ, YES there is a chance she could get sick, but fucking christ you sheltered people are stupid. I grew up out in the sticks of Texas and we would hunt and kill squirrels, rabbits, and other things and cook them and eat them.

>>2443733
lol what are these intertrons and where do i find them, i must have them
no shit about eating shit, ive eaten all kinds of shit even killed a chipmunk and roasted it on a campfire, squirrell, frogs,

have you seen that show on natgeo where the dude only eats roadkill, fregans or something they call themselves, that shit is nasty, i only do it if its fresh roadkill not a day or two like on that show

Went to a slaughterhouse as part of my animal science class in high school. While we were there, a guy brought in a deer he'd hit and had it butchered.

I can only think it must have been nicely tenderized.

From /co/, with love.

>Eating roadkill

And then OP was a cannibal from The Road.

/co/ here, that's great honey...

ahaha

op is new-age alpha

just become a fucking lumberjack and attract hot wives now that you're at is

this thread is blorf

OP... are you for poland? About 40 minutes out of warsaw?

Yeah, we know who you are.

great thread. i'm freegan, but basicly just supermarket dumpsters. brought home a roadkill goose once but ended up not eating it. bathtub pic is saved, not sure what future use will be. *waves at /co/ folks.

oh, also roe deer is europe, i don't think they have those in usa? where is op.

>MY FACE

>THIS THREAD

>mfw sticky
Yes. Yes, this will do.

for the first time ever I've got to agree, MODS=GODS

It's been like what a year or two since the last /ck/ sticky? Fuck.

Also, I remember the last guy that posted cleaner looking butchering pics of deer meat was banned. lol

>>2444415
Nope, we had a double down sticky and I think there was a McRib sticky too.

>>2444415
Double downs was stickied for a while.

>>2444415
sage in a sticky? lol, you funny.

>>2444421
>he thinks its a sage

laughinggirls.jpg

>>2444421
it wasn't a sage retard

This is why you win /ck

>>2444419
Ah now I remember, I hide those threads. Stupid threads those were.

>>2443709
I've killed about 5 deer with my small chevy s10. I killed a lot more with my plymoth horizon. that little car was a fucking deer slaughtering machine. it even killed one that ran into it while i was fucking parked. it was epic. both vehicles only needed minor repairs like dents and paint

i suggest you grind all the meat, and make sausages. smoke them, boil to cook internally and finish in a pan or on a grill if you so choose. delicious delicious sausages

>>2442907
herp derp roe deer

>>2442907
>He thinks roe deer are in the US

I say make jerky out of it. That's what my dad did with his last deer.

I don't know what you guys do but here in Canada we usually take said deer to a vet or some kind of official to make sure the meat is safe for human consumption.

Then we proceed to skin it for a new rug or something to cover to door of our igloos with.

Just sayin.

>>2444550

Not sure what province you're in, but I've never gone to that trouble. I expect you'd probably lose the deer and get tied up for hours having to explain WTF you were up to.
Not yanking your chain; it's just not the sort of thing I would want to get the aurhorities involved in.

... and I'm not sure why so many people on this thread seem to think it's hard to figure out when meat is rotten. Unless you have no nose, of course,

>>2444550
sorta here. What we do is get a salvage tag and then take it home. The officer will look it over before issuing a tag. But I have had some salvage tags in my life. I like OP he didn't give the deer up.

>Oh hey, these granola bars came out like shit. Maybe I'll tell /ck/ about it.
>This thread

God damn, I had no idea you guys were such hardcore motherfuckers.

Picture of OP

Picture of OP's wife

pics or it didn't happen.

...oh wait.

ROCK ON OP

My face when reading this thread.

Love, /co/

>>2442445
do you believe the only thing that's OK to eat is what you see at the butcher and supermarket?
it looks fine normal looking for a free range deer, you just may have some time taking a liking to its taste

>sticky

guess I should read this thread

Not nearly enough references to red wine in this thread. Deer marinated in red wine takes away so much of the gamey flavor, specially from wild deer. Farm raised stuff is a little easier to take care of, but it doesn't have the same flavor.

>>2444769
>take away the gamey flavor
why would you want to do that?

>Read this last night
.Fuck year, OP is fucking badass
>Go sleep
>Oh well, hope this actually gets archived
>Reload today thinking it's already dead without even going to the main page first
>O hay it's still alive what do you know
>Read some of the newer posts
>Sticky
>Finally check the main page
>Confirm it actually got stickied
>mfw

>>2442147
uh there could be diseases in that meat, sorry to break it to you. Even in the fish or whatnot they catch, they put antibiotics in it, then freeze it for a minimum of 7 days before its cut into sashimi for eating.

There's a reason for the FDA op, don't eat that meat unless you bring it to a butcher shop or something and make sure its clean.

Sorry for all your hard work though.

OP, you'll be fine eating that deer. Make sure the innards didn't split all over the meat (essentially poop splattering around its insides) and check for things like liver fluke before you eat the offal.

Otherwise just give the meat a good scrub under cold water to get rid of any residual grime, and follow ordinary food safety sensibilities.

There's not likely to be any diseases in that meat, or at least no more than game shot with a rifle. I don't know where the poster above hails from, but for an official organisation to regularly treat food with antibiotics would be fairly fucked up.

I eat roadkill every now and again, and shoot my own game. Game shot the way I shoot it is served in pubs and restaurants around the country with no ill-effects.

Dear Users,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Sincerely,
The Management

Why is this even a big deal?

>>2444914

Most interesting thread on /ck/ in a very, very long time.

BAAAATTLE VENIISOOOOON!

What kind of steak sauce would you put on deer after you made it in a rice cooker with spices from the dollar store?

>>2444961
ketchup and pink Himalayan salt with a dash of sriracha

This thread got boring days ago.
Let's see the results, OP.

I have had wild dear too many times and wouldn't be afraid of eating this. If it was freashly killed the way I am thinking. I wouldn't know the difference in a shot deer or hit by a car dear.
The only reason why I wouldn't eat this is that I hate dear. That game taste I can't stand. I was told if you shoot it in the head the body can't release something in the blood to make it taste bad but my step dad doesn't like to shoot it in the head because he cares about points -_-

up there with the best threads i have seen on this here 4chan.

did you have to butcher it in the bathtub of all places??!!!!

>>2444994
where else would he? Not in the sink LOL

... why is this stickied??

>>2445064
To show respect to the big man.

The alpha-male of 4chan

>>2445064
To show that /ck/ is a vicious manly butcher?

>>2442682

see >2445063

>Zdjęcie
brofist

Roadkill have always been a stereotype for rednecks etc.I'd agree with that partly. like a overun squirrel or a badger....

But if I ever saw a moose for example getting headshotted by a truck, I wouldnt mind taking it with me. Also Due to the fact that I know how to prepare these kind of animals.

And a word to OP: If you dont know how to prepare a deer, and especially if you go HERE to find answers... dude, just go and throw that animal in your garbage can, seriously.

>>2443087
>I wish we could hunt down and roast the pussified cityboys who thinks meat came from air conditioned semis.

Literally no one thinks that, you fucking idiot. There is nothing "pussy" about being concerned about sanitary issues, but in this case something like that can't just be judged from pictures. No one would think OP is some amazing badass if he didn't butcher the animal in his tub.

I am a hunter and have personally shot a deer gut it and skinned it. I had the butchering done professionally and can not account for that part. Keep the liver it is very edible but first you have to pump out the blood, it is quite simple and feels much like giving the liver cpr. You just pump out the blood with your hands. It seems quite ridiculous to me that everyone in this thread thinks eating wild animals is dangerous, I mean what kind of pussies are you?

I really want to eat some deer now, I've only had it once at a friend's high school graduation party. Before this I never really thought about people picking up roadkill but hey, what ever gets ya some delicious meat

>>2445126
>mfw you didn't even read the thread

>>2445126

I know it's all hairy chest and look at mah balls to eat shit that you kill in the woods or pick up off the highway but the fact is you are eating shit tier meat so that you can get a boner when you look in the mirror.

>>2445132

OP, what happened to you?

Good work OP, I bet the meat will be great.

>mfw all the urban pansies on this board think it's OMG SO FUCKIN ALPHA to butcher an animal in your bathtub

Nice work OP. I'm sure the meat is safe. You've probably thrown it out, but you can eat the heart and probably the liver too, as long as you're safe about it. Half the people here are total pussies. Also that deer seems really small.

>>2445296
forgot to post my face

>>2442468
At least this animal has had a great life, unlike the animals you eat.
Fuck you.

>>2445319
Oh Humbug. Enjoy your boiled beans and oats.

be careful bro

prions are tough protein capsules that don't give way to heat or other methods of germicide.

>>2445319

ooops. Just read the comment you were commenting on.
nevermind
- emily litella

>>2445319
Yeah, a great life of walking around in search of things to munch on. That pretty much describes a deer's life.

OP YOU HAVE A FAIRLY SMALL TUB. ARE YOU A MIDGET?
HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO HAUL SUCH A BIG ANIMAL OVER TO YOUR CAR?

OP died from bad deer meat

>>2445374
>Roe deer

It's deer eggs.

Cool copypasta story bro

>>2445420
durr

>>2445376
I lol'd T_T

>eating roadkill

This is too much, /ck/ confirmed for ridiculously redneck

Sincerely,
/sp/

Suddenly /ck/ is awesome.

Eating roadkill seems fucking disgusting. Although I don't see a problem with it if it is fresh.

>>2442445
You are aware that the police have ways to determine the difference between Deer and Human blood right?

The deer should be ok to eat, but you should throw away any bruised (dark/hemoraging) portions.
I wouldn't bother with the liver, most people throw it away, but it's up to you.
Basically, you save the large portions of muscle and the rib meat if it's a large enough deer.
Any thing that can be cut into steaks, do it and freeze it till you're ready to cook and anything else can be made into stew.
If you saw it die, you don't have to worry abut disease, just make just you keep the entrails away from the meat and rinse the steaks/cuts off before processing.
The only real concern is ticks, which can be very dangerous. Make sure you bag and throw away all the fur as soon as you can. Ideally, you do this outside.
Finally, make sure you cook the meat well.

>>2442907
hes either from poland or slovakia(both central europe)
that said, i'm as well, and i'd eat that meat

>>2443768
>>2443784

are the beta permavirgin shut-ins from /co/ suggesting deer-butchering alpha-as-fuck /ck/ is their wife?

wat

>>2445605
Dude, we've been married to /co/ for a long, long time now.

>>2445614
is it the type of marriage where your wife pegs you and call you a bitch? cuz i dont see any other kind of relationship working

OP IS A NIGGER

^ that guy is jelly ^

lol I kept seeing this thread get bumped but never opened it

also people do this shit all the time in Alabama as long as it's a fresh kill and they do it with all kinds of animals

>>2445738

>Bump
>Sticky


Chose one.

>>2445758
this thing was only made a sticky recently

After reading this thread, why is OP's original picture so damn funny?

As far as OC goes it is.

I think it's only a sticky because the mod is a bloodthirsty gore fan.

This thread is less popular and somewhat less informative than the Taco Bell VP threads we had last week.

I think this thread should age normally, or perhaps hung to age...

>>2445794

quiet fag

just gtfo

i'm fapping

>>2442219

OP, if this is real, that's great.

If you hadn't gotten it off of the side of the road, it would just rot.

When I was growing up my grandfather had stopped hunting but he still knew all of the old farts down at the butcher shop. We got about 50lbs of road kill deer one night.

I'm still here.

why the fuck is this stickied??

>>2445860
Because OP died from eating roadkill.

if only he had a pic of the deer in a bathtub

greatest reaction image ever

Oh it's this thread agian, and again , and again , and again, and again, and again, and again, and again

I live in one of the most poverty stricken ares in the country, and eating roadkill is not even acceptable to these people. The meat gets tainted from the broken entrails and could have very dangerous shit in there. Even if you think only the stomach broke, you can't be sure. Whatever though dude, I hope you enjoy it

My main problem with this sequence is how he cleane the deer in his shower where his stank ass feet, butt water, piss, and soaps have been

>>2446082
shower pisser detected

>>2446082
I live in Massachusetts in a relatively well-to-do area. My parents are not poor. My father has hunted all my life, and when he came across roadkill that he could determine had NOT been tainted, he'd bring it home. The risk of OP having problems is probably less than or equal to the risk of you having problems from eating out, or from the chicken/eggs in your goddamn grocery store.

> mfw everyone going "OH NO I KNOW THINGS IT IS TAINTED YOU WILL DIE!!!" is a total fucking retard and also probably doesn't know anything about the HISTORY of the PLANET

That's some good recycling OP

>>2446125
No I mostly agree with that. You stomach is a lot tougher than people think. My point is it's not worth it in this day and age unless you're really hungry. I would argue your point that the risk of eating a deer found on a road is less dangerous than the eggs I get at the store, however

>>2446099
Every morning

>>2446136
Some people don't have that much money, and a whole deer is a shitton of lean red meat you didn't have to spend $3 a pound on. It's not insignificant.

I'm not sure that I agree with it myself, but my assertion is both indefensible and irrefutable because I doubt that statistics exist regarding the frequency of food poisoning from roadkilled animals! HAHA!

>>2446147
If you can't afford 2 bucks for a pound of bacon, then you need to get a job son. Also I rarely spend more than 2 dollars a pound for other meats. There's always a sale. It's $1.50/lb pork loins as I write this. Another thing, there isn't that much meat in a deer. Half a kitchen freezer, max.

If you would rather defend eating roadkill than work, have at it. I'm just saying it's not for me

>>2446169
I work. I'd still take free meat over store-bought. And pork != red meat, so the comparison is invalid.

>>2446169
venison isn't nearly as readily available in stores as beef or pork, and it's delicious. why not take an entire deer if it's free?

some people were raised to be frugal sir

I'm still waiting for /cgl/ to post pics of someone who butchered roadkill deer just to have that bambi skin for the next cosplay convention.

>>2446175
The standing deal at my local store is $2.50 for a big ass slab of beef. Eye of round, beef clod heart, and some other cut I can't remember. 20 bucks goes a long way. You have to cut it up yourself, but who cares. Plus it's ten times better than venison. The only good part of a deer is the loin and that's only because it tastes like beef

>>2446183
No it's not delicious. If you had delicious venison then it was either the loin or you had a good chef who hid the taste of the meat

>>2446203
just because you don't like the taste of venison doesn't mean that everybody doesn't. it may be the fact that i was raised eating venison.

it's cool if you don't want to eat it, but don't act like i'm retarded if i like to eat it.

stoplikingthingsidontlike.png

>>2446203
gtfo you butthurt faggot, let us have this cool thread and stfu if you don't like it.

So I saw a recipe for blood sausage here: >>2446016

Would it be inadvisable to use blood from hunted animals to make blood sausage?

>>2446223

I grew up on venison too. It's practically inedible unless you mix it with pork and make sausage. That's how we ate it. If you're eating venison roasts and what not, you're eating some poor food my friend

>>2446288
Taste are arbitrary faggot. Case in point I loath coffee. Can't stand the smell, taste, etc... but many others do enjoy it everyday.

>>2446288
>i grew up on chicken mcnuggets and little smokies

>>2446312
sup, PHS guy

>>2442219

wtf? in the bathtub? you do know when you take showers, tiny shit particles wash down your leg and dry up on the tub's floor right? you white people can be so empty headed at times.

OH MY GOD

I LEAVE FOR THREE DAYS AND

JESUS CHRIST

THIS THREAD

kingofgets

/vp/ here,

thank you for properly disposing of that poor pokemon's remains OP.

>>2446571
>sick and tired of the faggotry on /vp/
>in culinary school
>I think I'll try /ck/ out
>fucking /vp/ asshole is here anyway

Is there anywhere I can escape????

>>2446684
my plan, it was a success.

This is the manliest thing ever.

OP is full of so much mangrit I cant even describe it

So is this thread archived?

>>2446701
why the hell would we archive a thread that we have every fucking day?

>>2445605
>the beta permavirgin shut-ins from 4chan
Fixed that for you.

Oh /ck/, I had no idea the shenanigans you partook in until just now.

LOL just saw this on reddit.

hi reddit!

Can someone answer
>>2446261
I am curious as well

How do you know enough to butcher a deer but not know how to cook/store it?

Wrap the shit out of it so it doesn't get freezer burn, I guess, or make BEEF JERKY!


BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!

Supposedly any fat on the meat is bad for making jerky, deer doesn't have much fat on it, so

BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!
BEEF JERKY!

>>2446908
>beef jerky
>deer
>beef
>deer

>>2446908

>BEEF JERKY!

You really are a fucking moron.

>>2446911
I think it was intentional, but I have been known to give stupid people to much credit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genericized_trademark

red meat = beef
tissues = kleenex
soda pop = coke
flavored gelatin = jello
9mm = glock
roadkill deer taken home, cut up in a bathtub then sliced into strips, marinated and dried into jerky = beef jerky

You dweebs are just mad you didn't think of it.

>>2446941
People that call tissues "kleenex" are retarded.
People that call soda "coke" are retarded.

You are retarded.

>not to mention that "beef" isn't a trademarked name like "Coca-cola" and "Kleenex", so this isn't a valid comparision

>>2446946

Anyone who still uses the term "retarded" is "special"

Are you like 58 yrs old or something?

>>2446963
43, as a matter of fact.

wait, wtf... the part about not wanting to waste meat I understand, but where did you skin and gut it. Im sorry, but thats stupid. especialy out of hunting season . you dont field dress or skin a deer in a bathtub. no more than you would slaughter a hog in your kitchen. having it a deer, you bleed it, take it home and call the local sherifs dept . then wildlife officer and get let them know so it is " tagged" . or skining and gutting a squirl or rabbit in the bathroom sink. even gutting fish.. you do it out side. thanks for the laugh though. I hope.

>lol what a redneck

Alaska has a program - and I'd like to think most states do as well - where if roadkill like a moose or a bear is reported to police, they call a qualified trapper/hunter to butcher it, and then the meat is distributed to people on a special-needs list.

HURR DURR IT'S ROADKILL. So? It just happened to get killed by a 4,000 ton steel bullet driving like a bat out of hell, instead of a 180-grain spitzer.

Anyone who would waste meat like that is a disgusting human being. There are children starving in China and AIDS runs rampant in Africa. Count your blessings you fucking faggots.

>>2443768

Okay now draw /co/nrad seeing the carcass and being totally grossed out by it. That would be too cute.

>>2447025

Kind of a major point of this argument is that OP is not a "qualified trapper/butcher." This requires expertise.

>>2445379

lmfao

Thought the same thing all thread

I now have a new ambition in my life, getting a sticky thread on /ck/
This is gonna be hard to beat.

does that captch say titis b surnly

Holy shit, a stickie?!

I know in Texas, if you hit a deer, you have to report it.
No noms :(

OP here

JUST KIDDING EVERYBODY I HAD SEX WITH BAMBI

I saw the pictures and said

"Oh dear"

Then I though

OH DEER

OH DEER

HAHAHAHA get it

if you know how long its been since the deer got nailed, grab it. i'm not sure how well using water to rinse off shit helps, my old hunting buddy grabs some sort of alcohol to wipe out the inside with. just something to sanitize (not sure if the apple vodka added any flavor)
but really, for best meat, hang just above freezing temp for 8 or 9 days. i'm sure it won't be too bad if you just cut it and freeze it sooner though.

>>2442907


since there are no roads in Africa, It's just kill.

>>2442649
You can buy venison in the supermarket here in the UK. You can't in the US as you can't be arsed to battery farm it.

for next time: gamey meat like venison is best hung for a week or two before butchering (to tenderize and for the flavour to develop)...as long as the weather's cool, it can just be anywhere under shelter where scavengers can't get at it

>>2447400
the rule is to gut and skin it and let it hang for "40 degrees" - if the temperature outside is 10 degrees celcius it should hang for 4 days, if it's 4 degrees it should hang for 10 days etc. better to err on the safe side if the weather is warm(ish), and make sure to watch out for insects.

OP please, post pick of cock next to massacre with timestamp.

Love, /b/.

11

10

9

8

over 9000

7

6

5

4

3

Bump limit.

LOL, I see that some obnoxious mod stickied it.

>>2442649
You can buy it in the supermarket you tard. It's high quality meat. 10,000 years of royalty would know.

finally get to post this

I wonder what Roadkill would taste like compared to store bought meat

>>2447571
Roadkill isn't an animal, it is a term meant for animals killed on the road by a vehicle.

So yeah, why don't you ask "I wonder what animals would taste like compared to grocery store meat" you ignorant FAGGOT FUK YOU

>>2447450

>>2447633

What else do you use the word "Roadkill" for? Some kind of object/thing that isn't food or can be made into food?

>>2447633
>Roadkill isn't an animal
>it is a term meant for animals

OP's new name is Buzzard Chan.

>>2447662
I wholeheartedly endorse this

>>2447666
Right. Buzzard-Chan it is then.

You have to hang it and drain it. you eat it like that and you are going to wish that you hadn't. It'll be like show leather.

Otherwise I've done that before, I live in the country and hitting deer happens all the time.

And you don't have to worry about the cops.

The meat looks fine. It does need to be hung though for at least three weeks.

>>2442649

You've never eaten deer so what the fuck do you know. And yes you can buy deer at the super market...and in Canada you can buy bear, moose and caribou (fucking amazing)

Eating meat you killed yourself: Alpha-as-Fuck-Tier.

Eating meat that someone else butchered for you: Supermarket-Tier.

Eating meat that you found on the ground: Buzzard Tier

Do you make the bed when you stay in a hotel? Do you cut trees and grind them to pulp to make your own toilet paper? Do you drain the blood from your dead relatives and remove their internal organs? Do you clean the toilet at the restaurant where crapped?

Why the fuck would you kill and butcher the meat you eat - leave that job to the poor fucks who must do such work to exist. You are lowering yourself needlessly.

>>2447903
>hurrrrrrrrrr
well if the internet ever goes down you'll have to find something else to do basement-dweller

>>2447489

I guess I shop at better supermarkets than you do, like in civilised places. I don't give a fuck what some shit tier land royalty ate 10,000 years ago. My town had a special hunt a couple of months ago to kill the fucking deer that are such pests. I can get venison any day of the fucking week. I see venison on the table many times a year at the homes where I visit. It is comparable to woodchuck, squirrel, skunk and any other undomesticated animal - not a quality food source. The only reason guys eat it is because they want others to think they have a penis.

>>2447911

0/10

I could shoot a fucking deer from my kitchen window if I wanted a dead deer.

>>2447920
People hunt because they hear the cries of thousands of generations crying out for the hunt.

You are just a little city boy who doesn't know what being a man on this Earth is about.

Plus, moose, grouse, and hare taste amazing and you can't buy it. And I get to spend my time outside, not jerking off to furry porn all day.

Have fun trying to justify a boring, contrived existence bro.

>>2447924
Dear sir, I am a third party to this conversation, but I assure you that as you see him, he sees you. Really, you are both humans living as you have learned is best. "if the doors of perception were cleansed, the world would appear like it truly is, infinite" In culture we have learned how to build walls and truth to guide us, but they are illusions, albeit helpful ones. If you both could know these walls to be subjective, we could live and love in a more truthful consensus reality.

>>2447924

You are wrong bro, I live 20 miles from a town and have grown up in a culture of hunting and eating wild game - I have tasted nearly everything that walks, flies, crawls and swims. I recognise the practice for what it is, good ole boy chest thumping. I just bought two prime rib eye steaks, I know what tastes good. Your major claim to the excellence of hunting and eating wild game is "the cries of thousands of generations crying out for the hunt". I only want good food, I don't need a lot of crying.

>>2447961
Because cornfed beef is better than moose lol

you are an urban fag and your childhood consisted of videogames and being bullied

>>2447966

OK, here is a story from my youth. My friend was sitting in his kitchen one day and a moose came into his yard and started going after his dog. He went outside and when the moose came after him he punched it in the nose and killed it. True story. I don't like moose - it's too dry. I like beef and lamb.

>>2447981
yeah he killed a 1500 lb animal with a punch

get back to your WoW bro!

and if moose is too dry you suck at the cookign

Posting in an epic thread. OP is alpha, those of you going "ewwwww" are omega as fuck.

God damnit, I'm hungry now

so how come OP hasnt posted in forever? did he really die of some terrible food poisoning or some shit?

dude what
>lurk /g/
>food thread
>go to /ck/ and look for some guide to make quick and tasty food
>this thread
>I don't want to eat anymore

That's pretty manly I guess. I would do the same if I needed to but otherwise just keep on driving. Even for a free meal deer isn't my kind of shit.
Hope you enjoyed OP
Also is all of 4chan sheltered faggots or something?
>OHHHH MY GOD HE CUT UP AND ATE A THING LET ME JIZZ ALL OVER YOU PLEEEEASE

>>2448020
>OP is alpha

lolno

Buzzardchan is omega as fuck. All carrion-eaters are. As are the people saying "hurrdrurr eating game meat is macho bullshit".

>>2447903
Do you cook your own food?

>>2447903
I bet you just float around doing fucking nothing except whatever office shit your job is huh? Can you wipe your own arse even?

Venison is god-tier meat, but eating carrion is just beta as fuck.

Seriously. If you don't have what it takes to kill it yourself, just buy it. If you're too poorfag to buy it, just eat some other meat. Eating roadkill is scavneger-level.

Pit related. Beautifully prepared commercial venison, killed and prepared by people who know what they are doing.

>>2447524

>>2448055
OP butchered a found deer, making him the Alpha and the Omega.

>>2448066

I bet you are a dumpster diver and can't afford decent vittles.

>>2448061

Yes I cook - like bbq ribs, but my species no longer has the need for some previous practices as your species seems to.

OP, does this image give you a boner?

>>2448077
Wtf are you talking about? Noone said OP couldn't kill his own deer, a fucking 6 year old can kill a deer. You're saying OP can't just eat the fucking deer because someone else killed it? So if someone offered you a car you'd say nah I'd rather go work a few years for it?

impressive

>>2448077
He saw it die it in front of his eyes. That's fucking fresh venison dying in front of your eyes and you're saying go and buy 6 week old venison from a supermarket? what the fuck are you doing on a cookery board? Go back to /k/ where someone might be impressed by your faux manliness.

>>2447903
Fresh meat tastes a lot better. If you have the time and ability then it makes sense. It's certainly not about being poor. Hunting is the domain of the rich. It's a luxury, and a brilliant one. If it's not for you fair enough, but don't try and degrade an activity you clearly know nothing about,

My questions is, do people usually hunt game and eat it around your area? If yes, then maybe it is good to eat?

I mean think about how the grocery store meats are raised. Pretty disgusting, yet we eat those.

>>2442343

>>2442185
Tennessee-fag?

pic is the best thing for op to do, fucking jerky

im nomming on it right now.

this thread is awesome.

god bless you OP

How did you cut it? The knife looks clean unless you just washed it just before you took a picture.
I keep thinking you ripped it apart with your bare hands instead of actually cutting it.

This is the most amazing thing I've ever read.

>Exploring from /v/
>See this sticky.
I like you guys.

>>2448691
Same.

what

>>2442728

Providing he washed it with vinegar or alcohol or some shit. Water causes bacteria to grow.

I'm so fucking glad I asked for pics.

alright, this is way too long to read, and i'm not even gonna say I did. But a lot of people are saying not to eat road kill... this is stupid. I don't remember everything, but when I was 12(19 now)I went camping with like 20 guys, and one of them "accidentally" hit 3 turkeys with his truck on the dirt road to the camp site. He picked them up, skinned/gutted/cut them up and all that good stuff and then wrapped them in tinfoil and cooked them on the campfire. We had them for dinner that night, and as far as I know, i'm still alive and fine

>>2448878
coolanecdotebro.xml

Omg OP! If I ever came across a freshly killed deer I wouldn't know what to do with it.

>>2449117
then you clearly have paid very little attention to what has gone on in this thread.

F+

OP

Op

>>2449164
Man Vs Wild always does the same format
>Eat some plant or something from the environment that doesn't do a lot of good
>Eat something really gross
>Catch and eat a live animal
>Make it to safety

They really should do some extended wilderness documentaries, not some damn nature hikes.

>>2449186
I like the parts where he eats the bugs, if I see at the begining of the show that he is in some sort of place with lots of ice and snow I just change the channel, not enough bugs in the snow.

Lol OP. I hope this is delicious

>>2447075 Kind of a major point of this argument is that OP is not a "qualified trapper/butcher." This requires expertise.

You make a good point, but butchering a deer isn't overly complicated or difficult. You need expertise to do it without losing meat excessively - skinning, cutting off bad meat, and removing the entrails is NOT hard. If you have Youtube and a good, sharp knife, you can wing it and get away with it.

>>2442147
>Exploring from other boards
>Maybe /ck/ has something neat food wise... Like those fucking tiedye white chocolate brownies...

...
God damn I think I'm coming to this board a bit more often.

post this shit on /k/ and claim /ck/ is tougher than /k/ will ever bee

MAKE AN I <3 YOU WITH THE HEAR AND HAVE THE I BE DOTTED WITH AN EYE BALL!

>exploring boards
>reach /ck
>see sticky
>mfw
ck rules

>>2449401
welcome :)

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

>>2449593

I slightly chuckled at the shoop, nice

OP here, sorry for my absence, but this thread went places without me anyway. Thanks for all the support, lots of good advice, I'm sure I'm not the only person to learn something. I was going to maybe post how the meat turned out a week from now on, but I guess I should update now, sticky and all.

Questions:
I've never hunted, hold a gun or butchered a deer. How did I know what to do - I like to cook, I know my way around poultry and pork, I read survival books. It wasn't hard, I was just worried about poking hole in the bathtub. I posted on /ck/ because I wasn't sure how to prepare meat without it turning tough and dry, because I've never prepared venison and only ate it once, years ago. Possibility of getting brain worms didn't really cross my mind.

The stench wasn't too bad, I was worried about stinking up whole apartament, but only bathroom and kitchen were affected, after I threw away head and entrails smell got faint and once I cleaned everything up you would have never guessed there was animal corpse in the tub.

As much as I like liver, I've decided to throw it away after reading about parasites. Eating brain was never an option, head was first thing to go. Heart is the only internal organ I kept (you can see it in the first pic I posted).

Missed /co/ thread :(

Here's how I prepared the meat:
I boiled red wine with spices - juniper, bay leaf, crushed pepper, rosemary, marjoram, allspice. I poked the meat full of holes and stuffed them with garlic cloves and salo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salo_(food)). I rubbed the meat generously with salt until my fingers burned, threw in chopped onions and carrots, then poured in still warm wine. I finished it all with balsamic vinegar, olive oil and covered the dish with slices of bacon. I will cook it in 5-7 days, it can easily feed 10 people.

>>2449619
Did you find those leaves on the road too?

>>2449634

OP is way to badass to shop at a supermarket. He only eat things he can find in the nature.

>>2449619
Op rocks. Don't forget to report back if everyone dies of food poisoning.

>>2449619

Shit's looking good OP.

good troll OP

this is obvious fake

cannot believe /ck/ is dumb enough to fall for it

>>2449694

wat.jpg

can we get a timestamp?

>>2449619
>>2449618

That looks fucking delicious. Are you sure you don't want to cook it now to give us a peek?

>>2442671
Raw liver is generally a poor idea. Just about every harmful substance that an animal has eaten filters through it, and there will always be residue. Especially with game animals, you should eat only the livers of the young, as the older beasts have accumulated possibly dangerous amounts of toxic substances through their diet.

It's a shame though. I love grilled liver. And we traditionally cook a liver stew while butchering the first calf of the season with onions, cognac and cream, which is a high point of every autumn.

>>2449619

>it can easily feed 10 people
>feed 10 people
>people

>>2447923
Jelly much?

Also, image related. OP.

I though that was illegal. It is where I am anyway. Check to make sure it isn't illegal to steal your roadkill before you do anything.

>>2450007
Not sure where OP is, but here (eastern Canada) if you hit it and decide to take it with you, the government is perfectly happy as it is one less thing their road crews have to clean up. I'm sure if you DID get in any legal trouble, just push the "it seemed like such a waste. I couldn't just leave it lying there" thing, and swear up and down that you had no idea it was illegal. You'll be fine. As for the deer itself, kudos on butchering an animal (a deer at that!) with little to no experience. I hope your meals turn out well. Make sure to post and let us know!

>>2442147
Lookin good OP. Just like everyone says, cook it well done cuz freezing won't kill parasites (you need a special flash freezer for that).

>>2450095
Why is everyone so goddamn afraid of parasites? The meat is fine. If you cook it well done there's a better chance of it drying out and tasting like shit because deer don't have a lot of fat.

>>2447923
2/10 for effort
you need to visit /g/ more to get better at this

>>2449619
Looks great OP!

Hope it is all good eating.

>>2442147
Best thread on 4chan in years, my hat's off to you OP. I hope you enjoy your deer. I know I can't wait to have some deer on Christmas at my family's place (fried backstrap and tenderloin = God tier deer meat btw). :)

I ate vixen once. It was pretty good.

eat it raw the best flavor is in the blood

Hey OP.

I used to hunt back in the days and I'm gonna lend you a helping hand.

You really messed everything up. What you want to do is hang the deer, cut its belly, take the organs out then cut the head off and then skin it. After that, you want to cut it in 2 and let it hang so the blood can run out. After that, it's edible. Also, the liver of deer is disgusting.

Your sincerly,
ex-hunter, highclass cook aswell as butcher
Anon

P.S. You don't need to put it in the freezer infact, that would ruin the deer. You can hang it for up to a month, the longer it hangs, the better it tastes.

op, i love you

>>2450675
Fresh deer liver is the best part. Just soak it in some milk overnight to reduce the iron. And yes, you can bleed a deer, but you can also get the blood out by soaking the meat in an icechest for a few days, which adds the benefit of aging--a think you'd fucking know about if you were actually a butcher, fucktard. lrn2read rubefag.

>>2450657
this

what will op do with the fur?

OP, you are awesome. I wish more people would think like you.

Maybe then there wouldn't be such a hunger issue in the world.

A part of me dies every time I see someone throw away perfectly good meat.

400th post! Fuck yeah!

401st post GET!

402 post get.
:/

403

inb4 404

>>2442445
indeed, that shit looks rancid

So, how did it taste op? Are you vomiting?

>>2451098

>>2451131
Why would he vomit? Imagine a cow being struck in the head by a car versus being killed with a pneumatic bolt. Would that suddenly make it gross?

YOU GUYS ARE FAGGOTS IN AN URBAN BUBBLE OF FAGGOTRY

>Visit /ck/ everyday for as long as i can remember.
>Repetitive bullshit, fatty, hambeast guides on how to cook thing only using bacon, eggs, etc.
>see this thread
>Oh /ck/, how i love you

>>2449619
>will cook it in 5-7 days
So you're just leaving it marinating in your fridge for a week? Is that a good idea?

Otherwise, so glad this got stickied. Read it the same day it was posted and was worried I would miss OP's return!

>with spices - juniper, bay leaf, crushed pepper, rosemary, marjoram, allspice

can you imagine the shitstorm had he said something like
>with spices: cumin, black pepper, cayenne pepper, pink Himalayan salt
I think that would be the greatest troll in 4chan history

when i was younger we hit a deer driving down a country stretch of highway.

about 5 mins after pulling over, checking the car out, freaking out and calling a tow truck a car full of mullet headed rednecks pulled up. they asked if we were ok without taking their eyes off the deer we just hit. they asked if they could have it. my parents were like wtf, we dont care, we need a tow truck.

a cop showed up and my parents told the cop they said the rednecks could have the deer. the cop said it was a very common practice for the rednecks to go roadkill hunting.

>>2442147

If you don't know the answers to these questions, you have no business processing wild game meat.

I hope you've had a hard freeze this year.

>to OP

Make sure you skin the deer and take out the insides. After the deer's butchered you process it however you like and then you freeze it (like in ziplock bags).

OP, PLEASE go for a stag next time. I dont care if you have to buy a 4X4 truck to ride over the country side, please do it.

>>2451532
around here there are even non-rednecks that do it, I have a nerd friend that did it, he offered some of the meat to me, I politely declined though

i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

>>2442471
I'm a vegan and I find this funny as fuck.

>>2449619

It's like saying "I enjoy the taste of the pork" while eating souvlaki.

srsly...

hm, catpcha: pi nu epsilon upsilon mu alpha tau omicron s, terity

younger !!!!

>>2451792

DELICIOUS

Just saw some venison on sale at the store today, I think I'll pick some up for new years. Feels good living in an area that has deer at the local market.

Posting in a sticky.

I'd only eat deer that was actually hunted, not hit by a car.

Roadkill is for rednecks.

OP: Badass dude, or the most badass dude.
Both are acceptable anwsers

>>2451792

Goddamn, good for OP. This is coming from a vegan. Im laughing my ass off at these sheltered meat eaters grossed by *gasp* the idea of butchering an animal. Fucking christ, this about 100% cleaner and less disgusting than the meat industry. Thanks OP for pointing out these hypocrisies.

You'll probably have to freeze a lot of it. Stick it in gallon zip locks.
Venison is good cooked in a crock pot or grilled (my favorites at least). As for a seasoning... I dunno. It depends on your tastes.

Also OP is awesome. I would sleep with you (and then eat/cook all yer venison).

Dont eat the parts where the car hit it, like where the meat is all bruised and extra bloody. If the nearby bones are broken just toss it.

/content/76_ck/2442147/1292897151634.png

This is my first time on /ck/. I agree with the anon earlier, i think i'll stay

meant to click /v/
hit /ck/ accidentally
See thread
>Wentbetterthanexpected.jpg

Thank you for this op

Why isn't this thread dead yet?

>>2453027
Hurr durr I don't know what a sticky is.

>>2452704
Implying that when you smash meat with a mallet to tenderize it you're not doing the exact same thing

>>2453049

That level of blunt force on a living animal causes blood vessels to break and haematomas to form. It makes the flesh there a mess. When you do it to uncooked meat it's different, since it's already been drained of blood and is no longer, you know, alive.

i don't really know if that has a huge effect on whether the meat is edible, but i thought i'd point out the difference

>>2453266
gee thanks moron, no one knew that hitting an animal with a car caused trauma to the tissue

derp derp derp

1- Castrate the roadkill in order to avoid spoiling the meat. Do it ASAP, as it will affect the taste if you dont.
2- Strip its skin.
3- Separate the non-afected parts (such as intact legs, head, torso, etc), butcher it and use it as regular meat.
4- Separete the afected parts (areas damaged by the impact). Discard the superficial area of it (at least 4cm of meat cover). De-bone it CAREFULLY, since there will be plenty broken bone pieces scattered. Use the meat to prepare minced meat (in case any bone is left, it will be crushed and minced).

>>2453331

ITT: people who don't realize the thread is almost a week old.

After cutting the animal in the standard Y and taking care of the insides (check youtube videos for field dressing a deer) you should skin and quarter the beast.

Any bruised/bloodshot meat isn't really worth saving so just leave the meat in a cold open environment to dry out so butchering is easier. I like to put mine on wire racks in my cold room with a pan under to catch any blood.

After a long while you can start to slip your knife under the clear stretchy stuff and keep pulling and cutting until you have some good pieces to package up.

I use wax paper and duct tape and freeze it. There are other ways. Food savers do preserve the meat longer but if the meat isn't dry enough it will mess up the vacuum. Some people put paper towels in with it to cure the "sealing wet meat" problem.


The liver should be seperated ASAP and that's tasty. I usually cook mine with onions and traditional spices but you can treat it as any liver.

If it eats veggies in general you can eat the livers right away. Bear and predator require you to freeze the liver for weeks and then cook the hell out of it because of possible parasites/disease

Seriously youtube is your friend.

>>2453342
there's been a sticky on /ck/ for a fucking week?
it's been awhile since I've been to /ck/ but hot damn, it still moves slower than shit out my ass.

also posting in a sticky

>>2453372
You just posted in a sticky!

OP when you describe the flavor, spare no details!

If you need to go all poetic and shit, then do so.

Like...

"...a nutty and fruity flavor and the texture was gamey..."

SPARE NO DETAILS

>>2453598

I especially want to hear about any symptoms
of spongiform encephalopathy.

>>2453613

>>2451792

That looks like my chihuahua :3

I used to drive a lot around rural AZ for work and I would look for roadkill deer. I would cut any antlers off and the hind leg sinews for my craft making. I wouldn't take any meat because they all had been laying there for some time. Almost all of them had either the backstrap or the hind legs cut off. Most Arizonans don't waste time butchering thier roadkill, they just cut off the best parts right there.

>>2453720
dog meat for you then

>>2442672

no that's Bill Donahue.

NOW WE KNOW WHAT OP IS HAVING AT HIS CHRISTMAS PARTY!

did op died?

>>mfw thread being archived can still be found on frontpage of board.
>its stickied

dissapoint.jpg

short thread is short

also had deer for dinner last night

I wonder if all the mods have died or something from deer poisoning, this thread has been stickied for a long time now. Y'know, considering its /ck/

>>2455272
the /ck/ mod never mods /ck/
He checks on us maybe once a week.
As evidenced by the length of this sticky.