ads

pizza

>>3311230
wrong. it's a meat and cheesy wheelie.

lol british people

>>3311229
Ye olde cheese and continental red fruite baked doughe cyrcle.

We call these buggers thinly sliced earth lumps fried in oil.

>>3311238
Don't forget scorched potato slivers.

>>3311238
>fried
oil-boiled, my good sir

>nutty gum and fruit spleggins

Oooh oooh, me next.

Choco-drop mimbly pips.

Layered cry me do boys

Noisy flightless-birdie with two leggy-wegs.

saucy meat on the peggy's

>>3311261
Roasted flightless-birdie with two leggy-wegs.

Magic bubbly chewy woowy twizzledums.

Crunchy meaty sandwich

sweet wheely syrup mealy

Negro Globe

>>3311284
hahahahah oh man that got me.

Mushy gushy fuzzy wuggle

Pith Pounder (complete with Bowel Stabbies)

humany-woomany

Sneaky cheeky orange feexy.

>>3311299

Sandwich Strumpet?

Crunchy-nibs peely pop

slappered meat n the wifes garden bunk beds

Yanky wanky piggy bready.

red noser horse kind

>>3311306

A beautiful British woman in her prime

Prickly spiky mouse ball.

squadgy mister muff

beef blojazzles, creamplatter smash, neon canes, shrububary, yorker ploodings and juicey-beef-scrumpts

lunch

Puffety cheesy-weesums

>>3311410
Au contraire, my good fellow; breakfast.

>>3311412
We actually call them Wotsits

I shit you not.

tortellini

scrimbly bobbits

>>3311442
Every post in this thread has been validated by this, you know that right?

>>3311457
So be it. Most Brits probably find it amusing anyway.

Now I'm off to have cup of rosy lee and a crumpet, toodaloo!

>>3311465
>I'm off to have cup of rosy lee and a crumpet

english translation:
>I'm off to eat a salad sitting on the carpet

udder-cream nutty clutter dairy

crumbly-crimbly soda-bubbly crisps

topped with churny-firmy moo-knobs.

there are 'free' of them in the picture too.

>>3311478
Ahh, you must be from London then. We call 'em pikelets up in't North.

As a British person: These threads are fucking hilarious. Well played, Atlantic cousins.

>>3311229
I find it insulting that you don't realise we Britfags speak perfect English just like you and that all our foods have the same name.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off down the apple and pears to use the dog and bone for a Ruby Murray.

>>3311501
no we dont have the same names.
usa doesnt have weird names like bubble and squeak, bangers and mash, and spotted dick

>>3311509
They were joking.

Also, these are hilarious, and I suspect that there are more than a few Britfriends posting these. Although there's not much in the way of definedly British food items being perverted... what would this be called?

>>3311520
Crispy spoody battered swimmy.

>this thread

And it's even better because you Brits are being good sports about it.

>>3311520
Crispity sea critters and chippy friends.

Choccy-woccy spongy wheelie.

A challenger appears...

These?

>>3311560
Sheepy tummy oats and scrummy. With chips.

>>3311567

Stabby-babs with moo cubes

>>3311560

Lungtube n' oat flaps

>>3311560
Oil-boiled belly scrag with earth lump champers.

>>3311567
The Arabian's Lament.

A montebag, topped with red squeezins, layered cry-me-do boys, and pippip mum.

>>3311579

You forgot the pickled knob-fruit shavings

And what about these?

>>3311589
Aunty Liz

>>3311589
Ye olde' meat-curtains.

>>3311589
Useless Whore

>>3311588

Smarm brand meat jollies, with a side of health seeds and a scoop of Irishmans Bane.

>>3311589

Queen Gollywomples the Second, Arbiter of Snoods

>>3311600
> Arbiter of Snoods
got me

>>3311605.
That is one cute fuzzy-wuzz purrbox.

>>3311589
Her Most Gracious and Beloved Britannic Majesty, Cunt Destroyer the Second

Globber ropes

>>3311634

Strands 'o' starch with a generous helping of crimson slop-mince.

>>3311634
Jolly wolly spaggy bolly.

>>3311634
straggly-do-wollies with fruit-blood sauce and ear scratchings

>>3311709

Fuckswallop n' mews in a gluten loaf

>>3311709
Savoury wheaty cat cake

>>3311709

Prince Phillip.

I love this thread so much....

>>3311722
I believe this thread proves that the british common ancestors were the whos from whoville

>>3311725

dinner

>>3311634
floogleflaggles with mumblybubers

>>3311766
Fruity Wooty John Hurty Burster

>Magic bubbly chewy woowy twizzledums.
I lost it there.

I have to say, it takes forever to order anything in a restaurant.

Surely you mean a rumbly-tummy filler upsie?

>>3311844
I'm from CA and I recently visited a McDonalds in Manchester. After asking for a large Big Mac meal I was corrected: apparently it's a "Podgy-wodgy meaty cheesy three-bread wheelie with teenie greasy chippy friends". Fucking crazy Brits.

>>3311860
Surely you mean Macanoddlynoo's?

i am crying omg this is the perfect thread

bloody beast wedgies

Toasty knicker holes?

>Podgy-wodgy meaty cheesy three-bread wheelie with teenie greasy chippy friends

Fuckin silly Mancs...in Leeds we call them WODGY-podgy meaty cheesy three-bread wheelie with teenie greasy chippy friends. Sounds completely different.

>>3311860
I was wondering about this myself! I went today to get some motherfucking McNuggets, and was told they were actually called Pip Pop McTiddlywinks.

Hairyarmsy hurky-derky meaty greasies with fruity-ballsy choppings and greensy-pokeys with pink cyclops crotchy-pukey.

At least post a compendium, you sodding cunts! Do I have to be the one to do all the thinking in this thread?!

a crunchy spuddy saucy butty

>>3311894
Quite correct. Pip McT's are my favourite.

>onion rings

weepy tangy-crisp loopy loos

oh god tears in my eyes from laughing

>>3311889
A Buckinghamshire Halfcoat

Grainy Cow Juice Porridge

>>3311927
with corny worney flakey crispity crunches
with viny sweet strawdidles

>>3311900

Here ya go.

>this thread has received 3 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.

Read all of this thread as Stephen Fry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znZuH2BU0FE

>>3311972
>mfw it is now archived

>>3312003

>Ginger Stephen Fry

>>3312006
LINK!

>>3312039
http://chanarchive.org/4chan/ck/31263

>>3311429

are we talking british or irish now?

I fucking love this thread

>>3312047
>implying everyone in the British Isles isn't a raging alcoholic
And proud!

>this entire thread

>>3311290
I bet the samef­aggotry got you also.

Porage?

>>3312158
sloppy woppies

>>3312158
What in the blue fuck is "porage?"

Bumping this shit, because awesome

It's 3:29am in the land of the cheesy wheelies so I'm sure we're all struggling here. Post some requests and we'll do our best though.

Squeally-sizzly-wizzly porky longhams.

>floogleflaggles with mumblybubers

you had me there, you wacky brits!

we need to archive this shit.

I saw two guys sucking each other's cocks. I called them faggots. They asked how I knew they were gay. I told them I saw the British flag on their sleeves.

ITT: colonial inferiority complex

>>3312499
Already done chum.
>>3312043

>>3312513

Why should Brits feel inferior about being an American colony?

cold on the cob

>>3312481
man, anything with -hams has me in stitches.

"Motorised rollingham"
"Squeelly-sizzly-wizzly porky longham"

What names do Americans actually find weird? I can't think of a single one in reality that's similar to any of these (I am a britfag).

>>3311894
>Pip Pop McTiddlywinks

>>3312747
biscuits. What the fuck do you call an actual biscuit?

>>3312757
Droppy-bops

>>3312757
Americans used to call biscuits, biscuits too. For some reason they started calling a savoury scone a biscuit but kept calling dog biscuits, biscuits.

>>3312747
I've a friend, Ross, from Manchester. He calls sandwiches 'butties,' dinner 'tea,' (but also tea 'tea') and is the only Brit I've ever heard actually refer to cigarettes as 'fags.'
That's all.
I'm not American, though I live in the US now and I find some of the local colloquialisms here vary not only state-to-state/region-to-region and city-to-city but also to neighbourhood-to-neighbourhood within the same city. It's bizarre. One neighbourhood of the city I live in refers to coinage/pocket change as 'jingles.' It's beyond adorable, though their lack of teeth most certainly isn't.

>>3312761
Well, I guess we can blame the south. And I've only heard them called dog biscuits a handful of times, usually they're just referred to as dog treats.

>>3312757
There's some story about the definition of a biscuit and a cake being settled by the Inland Revenue (equivalent of the IRS in America I think).

Not sure what things you do or don't have in America, so excuse anything that's pointing out the obvious.

We get VAT (Value Added Tax) added to prettymuch everything we buy that's not a basic necessity. It's just a tax of about 20% added on to things, that the company then pays to the Inland Revenue after the sale. Companies don't pay VAT on their purchases since they pay VAT on their products sold, and would effectively be paying VAT twice (pay VAT on the coal and iron, then pay VAT on the steel you sell). They actually do pay VAT on purchases, but they get to reclaim it. Anyway, I digress...

We don't pay VAT on any basic necessities, as I said. Frozen pizzas and chips for example, don't have VAT since they're a basic cheap foodstuff, and ensures even the poorest people can eat. There's no VAT on fresh fruit and veg, children's clothes, books (might only apply to some books), and a whole load of other things.

Anyway, back to my story. In the UK, we have these things called Jaffa cakes. They're small, cakey type, biscuit sized things sold in the same aisle as biscuits in supermarkets.
In the UK, we charge VAT on biscuits (as a luxury product), but not on cakes (as a basic necessity... don't ask, perhaps it's to do with them being traditional for birthdays/christmas etc so everyone should be able to have them). Jaffa cakes were getting charged VAT on their sales, because the taxman saw them as biscuits, but the company said they were cakes. They baked a giant birthday-cake sized jaffa cake to show that they were in fact small cakes, rather than biscuits. The final ruling on the difference between a cake and a biscuit, for the purposes of VAT, was decided that a stale cake went dry and hard, while a stale biscuit went soggy.

>>3312767
And now you know the story of the difference between a cake and a biscuit, which is which, and why a scone is a cake.

>>3312763
Strange that he's the only Brit you've found using the word fags for cigarettes. Almost everyone I know uses that term.
For the record, I never understood the whole tea, dinner, supper thing either. I think it's probably a regional thing, where each region called it a different thing. It's strange how such a small place has such differences in culture and mannerisms between regions. I imagine it's a result of developing in effective isolation from each other for so long, where travel between cities was rare and lengthy for most of its history, whereas America developed mostly with pretty good communications between each part.

>Pip pop McTiddlywinks

I'm British too and oh God this thread is the best, literally crying with laughter.


EDIT: And captcha just ruined my good mood.

>>3312702

Citrus wobblers, no joke!

>>3312158
Oaty-floatys

I came in here, hoping to learn some more British slang for things to further a charcter I play.

I don't know if I was trolled, or if this is the most hillarious thread I've found in a while...

britfag here

I fucking wish we used these awesome names for stuff

Another britfag here. I thought all this stuff was called "ghastly foreign food those people in bongo-bongo land eat and I wouldn't touch it, not if you gave me a million pounds, give me tripe and onions any day".

At least, that's what my Nan calls it

>>3311900
one of my favorite pics.
this thread is one of the best of /ck/.

Prickled Skip Gibber

>tubey-wubey meat knackers wrapped in Colonial moo-moo squirt pate and groundy-poundy moo-moo mash, wrapped in piggly-oinker slappers, coated with Itsa-Me-Mario crumbler-bumble moo-moo squirt, and baked in the gassy-wassy heat up my lassie.

Eggiwegs.

Go on...

>MFW I see this thread and I'm English

People need to put more effort in. Those that are just adding '-ey- suffixes and adding a couple of Ws aren't quite getting what makes these funny. That, and the repetition kills the laughter.

Anyway, I'm trundling off to the pub for a pint of scrumpy before work. Big night tonight - plenty of people on the raz who're willing to tip me a few bob.

>>3312767
The only reason anyone would think a Jaffa cake is a biscuit is because they are retarded.

The clue is in the name for fucks sake!
The only thing remotely biscuity about a jaffa cake is the size and shape.

If you can't tell the difference between a biscuit shaped cake, and a biscuit you should just shoot yourself.

YFW Britfags call a ham a gammon joint. I shit you not.

>>3312978
YFW americans call a pork shoulder a Boston butt.

>>3312978

>organic

>>3312702

Assuming they're not jellies, I'd identify them as Midget Gems.

Our sweets are great. Percy Pigs, anyone? Wine Gums?

>>3312985
>>3312985
>>3312985

fuckyeah percy pigs, reversy-percy's are the shit too!

I often hear Americans call poutine "Poutinie"

This thread is funny and all, but I can't help but be worried that it actually consists of Americans being serious.

>>3313106
I wouldn't worry too much about that.
Most of us aren't that stupid.
However....well, here's a little story that happened to me just yesterday. (Backstory: I'm a horrible Anglophile, having visited Britain several times and love the shit out of it all)
>at the store buying booze for New Years
>they have all their Christmas stuff on sale now
>see boxes of Crunchy Nuggets Honeycomb Pieces from merry old England. Gotta get some, because I miss crunchies.
>Go to check out
>bagger girl grabs the box and says"Oooo, is that real chocolate covered honeycomb?"
>I say "No."
>she proceeds to read the entire ingredient list out loud, and says "There no honeycomb in this! THEY LIE."
>mfw I didn't even bother to explain, because she wouldn't get it.

>>3313106
ofc we're not serious, it's funny stuff

altho euro cultural... uhh... smugness, maybe, is a good word does get annoying sometimes even tho i think like 80% of the time it's just trolling

>>3313126
did you bang her tho

>>3312910
>gassy-wassy heat up my lassie

>>3312978
gammon is actually a specific kind of really shitty ham. It was used in Ye Olde Dayes in much the same way we use the word "bullshit."

>YFW we listen to the same podcast.

>>3313132
>did you bang her tho

read his grocery list. he doesn't say anything about breakfast sausages. So no, no bangers.
or as they call them in the North country "tablebangers" due to their rock-like consistency of such meatstuffs farmed near Hadrian's Wall.

>>3313106
I'm more than certain it doesn't. I'm British - this thread was busiest during times when most of our friends across the pond are asleep, and speaking for myself I posted around a fifth of the names in this thread.

>>3313291
you're a cool guy

I'm going to all you friendy wendy bubblebum

>>3313496
that movie is fake and gay. There's no way they have rootie tootie point and shooties in england.

>>3313496

a scot

>>3313498
Everyone and their mum is packing round here.

>>3313251
he didn't bang doe.

fruity forest

bump for lulz

Even as a britfag this made my day.

5 star thread.

Peachy weachy chew and squeaky

Runny bird mishy-mash fried in hot vegetable squeezings

>>3311263
>>3311271
>>3311283
>>3311284
>>3311605
>>3312693

Heartily lol'd.

Never change, /ck/. Never change.

archive this

Seems noone has brought this up....

The name of this mean is associated with a male anatomy.

WHY.jpg

Might just as well be served with Chef's chocolate salty balls.

>>3312981
No we don't.

>>3315270
its done
>>3312043

This HAS to exist in the morning.

Spicey ricey ol' chick been dicey

>>3315294
Come again? Do you mean the term "banger"? If so, I'm a little disappointed with your lack of groundwork for your claim. And besides, the wartime British everyman would hardly be so lewd.

wanky yellowstripes n' mushy bollocks in tomatersplash

>>3315422
Banger is the sausage you fucking idiot. Because when you cook it when the skin pops it makes a bang.

>>3315427
Did they stop teaching reading comprehension in schools after I entered the workforce? Learn to read, you fucking muppet.

>>3315422
>British everyman would hardly be so lewd.

ROFPMSL

>>3315427
I don't know about you but I bang my sausage at beavers, so would refer to them as bangers.

all you people are idiots. both countries speak the same language.

I'm gonna go get a fizz and some biscuits from the paki shop to calm my nerves.

>>3315619
"biscuits" their called cookies!!! learn to speak the proper presidents english you lallygagging buttered crumpet eater

>>3312937

You're almost certainly joking but I've actually heard this in real life more than once.

So while we're talking about differences in food cultures, do Americans have mince pies? Mince pie season is pretty much over here and I'm upset about it. I only tried brandy butter for the first time this year, that shit is unbelievable.

Also great thread! Noice one mates, gonna go for a few cheeky bevvies and get bladdered.

Toad in the hole

>>3315701
Mince pies are not common in America, but people do make them from time to time. My grandmother on my mother's side was half British and used to always make them for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mince pies are nowhere near as common as say an apple pie, or cherry, or pumpkin, etc.

Spotted Dick

Bubble and Squeak

>>3311940
More of this?

>>3315721

Thanks! I was wondering about that the other day because I've never seen them mentioned in any American TV shows and they're pretty much the taste of Christmas over here. That and figgy pudding, which is pretty much the same alcohol-soaked fruit in a different shape.

Anyway, I'm sure we don't have particularly silly names for things. Now who's for a spot of jam roly-poly and custard?

I think mince pies used to be more common in America. But no one makes them anymore.

>>3315805
No ta old bean, I prefer Sussex pond pudding. Well, I would if I could understand what anyone would bother. No pic, sadly I'm on my phone, but do wiki it.

in a related topic, do any britfags have ant recommendations for british dishes that are good?

i visited london once, but only ate at a restaurant once and the rest of the time we ate out of groceries because we didn't have a lot of money lol

>>3315821
I've always wondered, how Ta came about, it doesn't seem like a logical contraction of its original meaning.

>>3315810
beef and raisins is an odd combination and only older people who are new to the wonders of modern technology still make mince meat pies in america

>>3315835
> beef and raisins
I thought only Neapolitans, Greeks and Persians did that.
Neapolitans and greeks make roulades of beef stuffed with raisins (or sultanas), garlic, parsley, pine nuts and parmesan and stew them either in tomato sauce or wine and beef stock, this latter version being more common in Greece and the former more common in Naples, though both places make both versions.
Persians do a delicious pilaf of carrots, raisins or sultanas and tender beef with onions and a tad bit of sugar for extra sweetness. Persians also make a dish very similar to the above-described roulade, but I'm not sure of its composition besides the raisins and beef wrapped around them.
I had no idea that the Anglosphere also combined dried grapes with fresh beef. It sounds lovely.

>>3311261
chick ENN

>>3315848
ok so i was talking about an empanada... the fruit ones are decent but eehk sweet meat i do not like raisins make me think of eating flies and the taste is to strong and concentrated for me

>>3315828
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=ta

1772, "natural infantile sound of gratitude" [Weekley].

>>3311895
offtopic for a sec: so Iskandar is any kebab served with tomato sauce, and Adana Kebab is so flavorfully marinated flesh... but someone... combined them?! Tell me where you saw this, I'll purchase an airline ticket today!

>>3315835
There's suet in a mince pie, but actual beef? Not for hundreds of years.

>>3316004
My grandmother made her mincemeat with Venison steak. She'd stew it, then shred it, and add all the spices/fruits and whatnot.

They may not add meat in modern recipes, but nothing has compared to her recipe.

>>3316033
It does sound good, I just assumed meat in mincemeat was pretty much non-existent now. I make my own every year, maybe I'll give a meaty version a shot next time.

>mfw americans call a smibbly bibbly "remote control"
>mfw americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars"
>mfw americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"
>mfw americans call Merry fizzlebombs "Fireworks"
>mfw americans call genocide 'Thanksgiving'
>mfw americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC"
>mfw americans call meat water "gravy"
>mfw americans call electro-rope "power cables"
>mfw americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a burger
>mfw americans call fart tornados "bar mitzvahs"
>mfw americunts call Whimsy Flimsy Mark and Scribblers "pens"
>mfw americans call twisting plankhandles "Doorknobs"
>mfw americans call french toast "pussy bread"
>mfw americans call breaddystacks "sandwiches"
>mfw americans called their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards"
>mfw americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly"
>mfw americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator"
>mfw americans call tossin' the thimble in the tipper "Archiving the Thread"
>mfw americans call Montezuma's Revenge "Water"

>>3316049
>mfw a European male wore a thong, called his remote a smibbly bibbly, ate crisps and drank fizzy drink, collected the goop from his cheesedick and put it in a jar, paid high taxes, lost his Zed tile in scrabble, drank tea in delicate flower painted cups, wanked his chap's jibbly with slippy dip, had bad teeth, dove in the grass, digested digestive biscuits, went barmy, had a smoke and a pancake, had a closet full of blue track pants, snogged with his mate, feared the wrath of a queen, called his relative an upsy stairsy, surrendered in war, had scruffy hair, was prudish, felt dickey, said cheerio, ello, and god save the queen, smoked a fag, called his keyboard a hoighty toighty tippy typer, walked his cat on a leash, spent a fortnight in a hostel, used icing sugar, jimmied in the alley, told some one to belt up, sniffed stranger's knickers, ate a lolly, called the internet the inty winty, ringed his mum on the telly ferry, used a pillar box, was arse over tits drunk, had Tiger nuts, was a soap dodger, spun a yo-yo anti-clockwise, went to the C of E, drank scrumpy, had a beret, was gobsmacked, put on a welly, had some candy floss, was too fagged to do something, was randy, appreciated another male's waistcoat and and bum bag, smelled bad, took a shufti, watched the telly, took a kip, was off his trolley, took a poopy-doo on the tea cup, had a sticking plaster on his knee, called a fan a twirly gust, was rude, waited in a queue, drove in a roundabout, said tootle pip to his mate, wore a bearskin and stood real still, asked me to blow him, shot the chin wag, was arse over elbow over a dishy bloke, wore lederhosen, was a poof, learnt maths, cocked up, spent dosh, identified the primary colours, told someone to bugger off, and drove on the wrong side of the road near me

This thread makes me want to be British. America is boring as fuck.

courgette

>>3316081
Aubergenius

marathon

john dory

goodness me this is hilarious.

CHALLENGE

>>3315983
That's not Iskender. And there's no such thing as Adana Iskender wtf. That's just Urfa, which is the same thing with Adana but without the red hot deliciousness.

>>3317422

see

>>3311478

what about snowcones?
you limey bastarts

>>3318907
Nah. We have slush puppies.Oh the memories.

Yellow-yellow peely fellow

>>3320315
should be mushy yellow peely fellow instead