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OH FUCK YES
IM SAYING THAT
AT EVERY DOOR
IN THIS CITY
Time to buy my blue rock candy

>>19187984

>buy blue rock candy
>hand it out to trick or treaters in tiny plastic baggies
>get arrested

>>19188004
totally worth it

>>19188004
Police come to arrest you
>Hey yo, get off me bitch

>>19188004
>build cardboard RV about 3'x6' so it fits around your body and hangs on you with shoulder straps
>drive (walk) around the neighborhood, getting kids to sell you chocolate candies for blue rock candy in little baggies
>be the one who knocks

*Knock Knock*
"Trick or Treat!"
*Door opens*
"BADGER ATTACK!!"

>>19188032
>police tell you you're dealing sweets, not drugs, you're free to go
>get visibly upset

My product is 98% pure!

>see other people giving out candy

STAY AWAY FROM MY TERRITORY!!!

Now I know what to say the next time someone tries to tell me a knock knock joke.

>knock on door
>walk in after they open
>steal candy
>deny it and try to run for the car

>>19188092

Oh god, this. No one will get it. And nothing of value was lost.

>>19188068
>knock knock
>open door
>kid says 'Trick or Treat'
>you're dressed up as Badger
>"Oh come ON man, smells so much like bacon"
>"Just look at that van parked there, and that one over there"
>"Really? Can't you guys be creative? Noone would expect a garbage truck"
>if the kid's still there, go into your bushes and pull out the hidden brown paper bag, give kid blue rock candy

>>19188112
But if you have a friend who also loves Breaking Bad, it could be the funniest shit ever.

>>19188107
Marie would be a easy costume for any female. Just wear something purple, go to parties and take the owner's spoons.

What episode did he say that? I need to watch that scene again.

i got a mineral

>>19188151
>Dress like your dad
>Have friends dress like goons
>Offer people chicken

Get to work.

>>19188173
S04E06 Cornered

*Knock Knock*
"Trick or Treat!"
*Door opens*
"MINERALS, TAKE A GODDAMN MINERAL, KIDS!"

>>19188173
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvsC9jAmP9o

>>19188004
>Get arrested.
>"This is not meth"
>Throw the candy on the ground.

>>19188236

It's such a shame they haven't done a halloween episode. I'm breaking sad.

Oh /tv/ this is why I love you.

>>19188387

>Go to Halloween party
>Everyone in fancy dress
>"Hey anon, you're not dressed up!"
>"Yes I am."
>"What are you?"
>"I AM THE DANGER."

>>19188387

> "Trick or Treat!"
> "Awww!!! Look at you! What are YOU supposed to be?"
> "A fairy princess."
> ripping the top off a box
> "And you?"
> "I'm Batman!"
> opening a plastic bag
> "And what are YOU supposed to be, little boy?"
> "I'm a jed...jed. Mom, what?"
> "Jedi."
> "I'm a jedi."
> "I bet you are. I bet you are."
> Pour cereal into his bucket.
> Open milk
> Pour.
> "Stay. Out. Of. My. Territory."

>i have to protect this candy from the man who protects this candy

>>19188435
>their face when

yellow chemsuit: 20 bucks for a single (you'd be amazed how hard this was to get in anything short of a lot of 12)
gloves: under sink
hat: happened to own
sunglasses: 19 bucks
2 pounds of blue raspberry rock candy: 9 bucks
fresh razor blades for scalp: 3 bucks
costume: totally worth it

>>19188463
Suddenly I find Skyler attractive.

> Trick or Treaters arrive.
> Open door holding two buckets of paint.
> "STAY. OUT. OF MY TERRITORY."

>>19188499
You find photoshop attractive.

>>19188210

I ASKED FOR KIT KATS NOT TWIX. JESUS DO YOU NEED ME TO WRITE IT DOWN

>>19188511
Fantastic

I won't be doing anything this hallowe'en

No one invited me to any parties

:-(

>>19188508
No, a woman who will protect candy. Sexiest thing ever.

This thread has me in tears.

> Open door in an evil scientist costume.
> Cue 'scary' dry ice smoke.
> Stilted conversation about the children's costumes as I hand out off-brand candy.
> Continue coughing as dry ice smoke increases. Stilted conversation with parents about my condition.
> Dry ice smoke leads me into a coughing fit.
> Hack lung cancer blood all over the children.

Happy fucking Halloween.

*Knock Knock*
"Trick or Treat!"
*Door opens*
"Hey kids, nice costumes... hey, how come your bag has nothing in it and his is full?"
"He stole my candy."
"No I didn't."
"Uh oh, this could get hairy... better call Saul."

Have you been miss-sold meth and been left with a bag of blue candy? Better Call Saul!

>>19187967
>"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"
I don't get this reference. It sounds a bit Lovecraftian though.

I GO AS BAJER HES MY FAVRITE OKAY

I wish I was able to do a BrBa costume but I look nothing like any of them

>group of teenagers
>smashing neighborhood pumpkins
>peer pressured kid walks up nervously to house
> about to stomp on pumpkin
>door opens
>How can I help you?
>I didn't do it
>Do it.

>>19188686

Last year, on Halloween, I kept getting harassed by these kids. I told them that I had run out of candy but they kept coming back, and began shouting at me and throwing eggs at my house. Now this was the fifth time it had happened, you understand, and I was getting sick of it, so I went out there with a gun, got their leader and put him on his knees. He begged and pleaded with me, swore he wouldn't do it again; he was a worthless little piece of shit, but I figured he had finally got the message so I let him go.

The next day he came back with his gang and they killed my dog.

This Halloween? No half measures.

>>19188678
Idk. You kinda look like Huell. Hasn't anyone told you that before?

>Dress up as Walt
>Put ricin in all the candy
>Laughs all around

>>19188735
That was Jesse what killed yer dog.
Thought you should know.

>>19188755
Oh you

THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND I WILL NOT BE HARASSED......BITCH!

>>19188499
oh cmon, dat jaw
she looks like a tranny here

>>19188786
Probable cause.
You're pretty fat.
You probably have candy.

Thread of the year all years

>dress as saul
>watch kids trick or treat
>see someone not give out candy
>"woah woah woah, what's goin' on here? Come on, kid, you just gonna let that happen? No! You shoulda called Saul!"
>arrested for pedo

*Knock Knock*
"Trick or Treat!"
*Door opens*
*Very small children, unsupervised, bad neighbourhood*
*Give them candy*
*As they move onto the next house, two bigger, angry children approach them*
*Small kids get nervous, start shaking*
*Charge into the two bigger, angry kids and knock them both over*
*Stomp the one that isn't unconscious*
*Look at the children*
"Run."

>*Knock Knock*
>open the door
>DING DING DING DING DING DING

Straight to the archive with this.

>Get friend to answer door
>Hes about to hand out candy
>"These are only fun size, we can do better"
>Throw candy on the ground
>HELICOPTER BITCH

>We CAN'T give away candies just yet
>WE CANNOT.
>First we gotta get rid of the contamination
>Can't you see how serious this is?!

>>19188686

Fuck, I was gonna do this one.

I will go trick or treating in a hospital gown and wheelchair and ring everyone's doorbells over and over while avoiding eye contact

Walt was completely justified in letting Jane choke to death on that jolly rancher. Fatass diabetes riddled candy junkie had it coming.

>get blue rock candy
>put chilli powder in it
>get yelled at for making it impure

>>19189029
>What contamination?
>Theres a granola bar somewhere in here...

>>19189037

Best costume ever, dress up as Jesse when Gail answers the door. Everyone answers door with gun in their face.

>>19189037
Blow yourself up

>>19189124
Thats awesome

>>19189037
don't forget to drool and breathe heavily

>At Halloween party
>Fighting over the last beer
>Fumble
>Beer cracks as it hits the ground, then goes into the pool
>Bruised from the fight, friend helps me stand
"The last beer is gone, you have nothing left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave... or face me, and DIE!"

>>19189037
>guy in wheelchair keeps ringing my doorbell even after I give him candy
>won't even look at me
>"Dude what the fuck, last chance to stop or I call the cops"
>He looks at me like a fucking insane personification of vengeance like I killed his family or something
>burst into treats

>>19188060

>staying at home to "help" hand out candy.

>>19189198

>>19188060
I know that fucking feel.

>:(

And I have lived away from home, since I've been unemployed I'm back again though. Woohoo.

>>19189198
Tell him you'll call the police, he raises up and poops all over himself.

>Knock Knock
>give a candy
>OH SHIIIIIT TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT YEAHRHRR BLUE YELLOW PINK WHATEVER MAN JUST KEEP BRINGING ME THAT

>>19189185
I always thought it was Dr. Who

>>19189315
>>19189315
>carry a machete with you and crush the snickers bar against the machete

Want some hard candy, kids? There's plenty to go around!

>Giving out candy to trick or treat-ers.
>See a kid walk into an elderly man's home across the street and take a whole bowl of candy
>Chase him down, drag him back to the house
"Sir, I saw this child steal all of your candy."
"I didn't do it."
"Sir, did this child run into your house and take your candy?"
>He says nothing
"Oh c'mon, this is bullshit! I mean look at this dude, alright? He doesn't even know what planet he's living on!"
"Sir, are we on the planet Mars? Are we on the planet Saturn? Are we on the planet Earth?"
>He nods his head
"Is today Sunday? Is today Monday? Is today Tuesday?"
>He nods his head
"He seems all there to me. Sir, was this child in your house?"
>He says nothing
"This guy right here, he was at your house, right?"
>He says nothing
"C'mon granddad, why don't you wanna help us out?"
>He looks at me and shits his pants

This thread

"Trick or treat!"
>Give kids candy
"Your costumes are alright man, they alright. Enjoy the candy."
>Mother comes to the door
"Just remember where you got it from."
"What did you say?"
"I'm just saying they got to know that they got it from you."
"Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?"
"No, I'm just...I'm just saying."
"Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?"
"No, come on, son. I'm just...I'm just saying."
>Beat mother to death
>Show kids my knuckles
"Shit man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up! Okay, kids, next year!"

"Trick or treat!"
>Give kids pancakes

>>19188435
I laughed so hard

"Trick or treat!"
>Say nothing
"... you're supposed to give me candy."
>Say nothing
>They notice my boots
>It's already too late

>>19189785
>give kids a toy car
>"i want pancakes"

>>19189685

>>19189685
>only as far as BrBa season 1
>whywouldanyonefindthesefunny.jpeg
>read this one
>die of laughter

*Knock Knock*
"Trick or Treat!"
*Door opens*

>>19189911
*Knock, knock*
Trick or threat?
What about some of that blue stuff?
I don't do no drugs anymore
You're nothing more to me than a bunch of CUSTAMUS.

>>19189911

Usually kids say Trick or Treat when the door is open.

>Knock knock
>HERE KID, GOT DAT PANDEMIC! PANDEMIC YO
oh wait

>Dress up as Gale
>get arrested as sex offender

>>19189685

LOL

Nicely done.

>Put out a rug a welcome mat in front of house that causes kids to trip
>Every time one trips I open the door
>Whisper "I fucked Ted"

>>19189897
>.jpeg
>amidoingitright.jpg

>Walking to shop on Halloween
>A little girl is wearing a superhero costume
>I don't recognise it
"Who are you dressed as?"
"Give me all of your candy or I'm going to tell everyone you raped me."
>Give girl candy
>She chokes on it
>Do nothing
>Planes crash above my house

>>19190004
Hahaha put a ton of pixie sticks in vials stand on corners and yell "Holocaust! I got holocaust here!" and have friend yell things like "Inferno!" Then shoot eachother for your corner.

>This guy, this Frankenstein, he was a super genius. By day he was a nerd, I'm talking vegan s'mores, recumbent bicycles, the works. But on the side he has the spookiest costume we've ever seen--
>Now Hank... I don't mean to but in... but -- and this is just from what I saw -- but that notebook looked like little more than rote copying of someone else's work. No, no... this Gale person wasn't spooky at all. I'm thinking that maybe your Frankenstein... he could still be out there.

>Be 6
>Go trick 'r' treating for several years in a row
>Always forced to do it with this jerk named Ted
>Tries to get more candy than me, every year
>Doesn't even come close to my haul
>I save it up
>Four years later
>Have this big going-away party for my dad
>He loves candy
>Check up on my cache
>More than half is missing
>Confront my mom
The candy, mom, where is THE CANDY?

Honey... I gave it to Ted.

>Laughter

>>19190076
>plane crash above my house
>it rains candy
>you're not evil

>>19190174
>>19190076
>>19189825
>>19189685
>>19189315
>>19189198
>>19189163
>>19189037
>>19189047
>>19189056
>>19189029
>>19188863
>>19188843
>>19188735
>>19188686
>>19188511
>>19188463
>>19188435
>>19188236
>>19188210
>>19188176
>>19188126
>>19188107
>>19188074
>>19187967

>So let me get this straight. I... BEAT THE PISS out of your little mule boy, steal his bag of candy... and then you come back to my door with even MORE candy? Haha, brilliant plan, holmes.

>You got everything right except for one little thing. This... isn't candy.

>Carve up a jack-o-lantern real nice
>Place it on top of a tortoise, write Hello Trick or Treaters on the shell of the tortoise, put it out front
>Kid dressed as a police officer touches it, gets blown up

>>19190174
No, bullies are trying to get you and you have to give candy so they won't beat up your baby brother.

breaking bad sucks

>>19190290
You're right every sunday during Breaking Bad season I feel like I've been given a great blow job by Walter White himself.

*knock knock*
>Trick or Treat!

W-w-why do you gotta be s-s-s-such a witch?t

>>19190304
no i mean it is a terrible show

>>19190343
I think you made a typo, it would make a terrible sow. I mean Breaking Bad isn't even a pig, I don't know why you'd think you could use it as a sow.

>>19190370
no typo bro its a terrible television show

the 'h' in show is quite intentended because the show is terrible

>>19190443
oh now I see, you're confusing terrific with terrible. heh, it's those first five letters that get you

This thread man, this fuckin thread.

>>19190468
No no I believe the television show is terrible

and just as a reminder when you google define: terrible this shows up

ter·ri·ble/ˈterəbəl/
Adjective:

Extremely and shockingly or distressingly bad or serious: "a terrible crime".

>>19190484
Don't worry bro, plenty of us speak english as a 2nd language. It's not your fault you don't know what you're saying

>>19190484
what? oh yes, cooking meth is a terrible, terrible crime, as shown in this terrific show.

>>19190484
w-w-w-why do you always have to act like such a little b-b-b-bitch

>>19190252

Actually, the jack-o-lantern on top of a tortoise is a great idea.

>>19190484
Oh I see, Bad is in the title of the show and you've made the mistake thinking that this show is so good, bad must mean good, and a synonym of bad is terrible, so by saying this show is terrible you're saying how great it is. Easy mistake to make.

So..... no TermiGustavo costumes?
Straighten your tie and close the door when they ask for candy.

>put on bald cap
>slap on a goatee
>grab my candy sack
>put it in my pocket
>walk up to a house
>all of a sudden, my phone rings
>answer it in the middle of the street
"Go home, Walter"

>>19190185
>Planes crash
>They burst into treats

>Try to find money
>Open trap door
>Lie on the floor
>Got no money left 'cause wife is a whore

This is the best thread on /tv/ I have ever seen.

OP here, can't believe this thread is still here.

I knew there was a reason I keep coming to this place.

>>19193709
FIRST OF MANY!

>*knock knock*
>*door opens*
>"trick or treat"
>"stay out of my territory"