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>ITT: /toy/soldiers-are-monsters stories

No stories required. Every time I see one of these, I die a little inside.

>been in this situation
>left the toy to the child
>feel great for the rest of the week.
0 regrets.

toys are meant to be played with, bring some joy to the kids, i only display them on my shelf...

I have a young cousin whose parents get him just about anything he wants.

Sometimes he gets a toy I want, and I pocket it. Sometimes he doesn't, and I introduce him to a toy I want, he gets his parents to buy it, it mysteriously goes missing.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he grows up.

>>2319565
OP I fucking hate you

That's terrible.

Go kill yourself.

>>2319565

You are scum.

>>2319565


he he he, you are my friend...

>Go to Wal-Mart
>Find ALL the currently new Star Wars figures
>Hide them through out the store
>Go back to buy them one at a time in a 4 month time

mfw when the kids have to play with peg warmers like the Naboo Security Guard LOLOLOLOL

>>2319780
>Implying the toys wouldn't be back on their proper pegs long before you'd have bought them all

>>2319786

Not at my shit-tastic Wal-Mart.

He got to it first. grow the fuck up toy. It's not like he hit the kid and took the toy from him.

>>2319780
you know, you're actually helping the flow of toys

I think if retailers like TrU, Target and Wal-Mart had a pre ordering service that you can pick up at the store, they'd have less pegwarmers and more sales.

>>2319802
While I would've likely caved, I do have to agree with this. Besides, his story includes this:
>Feel bad for a moment before their parent pulls them away and tries to avert their attention with other toys.
The parent was trying to teach the child that you can't always have everything you want. OP would've been interrupting an important life lesson there if he gave the toy to the kid.

There have been times when a kid seemed interested in a toy I had just picked up from the pegs. My personal rule is to always put it back and come back later. Toys are first and foremost for kids.

>>2319821

This, pretty much. I think a good rule of thumb is to just take a lap around the store, and if it's still there by then, it's a-ok to go for it. More often than not, the kid just wants to look at it or they don't have the money or their parents won't buy it, and the exceptions make me feel happy. Besides, waiting a month or two to get a toy never hurts - remember how everyone was scrabbling for the IM2 Hulkbuster Iron Man eight months or so ago? Nowadays, it's pretty damn easy to find.

Kids are fucking scum. Little shit bags and every idiot seems to pop out one. We need population control.

>In store's toy section
>Old lady asks me where they keep the GI Joes
>Apparently her husband collects toys or something
>Direct her to where they are and give her the Hasbro coupon
>Tell Loss Prevention that lady used a fraudulent coupon at the exit
>They take her in for questioning
>MFW it was Jin's wife

>Let kid buy a toy I was looking for
>NEVER SEE IT AGAIN

Fuck kids

>christmas shopping at TRU
>last animated rodimus
>see 14-15 yo looking through TFs
>he spots the rodimus in my cart
>he looks anguished
>give it to him then say "now get out of my sight"
but then I...


>looking for batmobile hot wheels
>find treasure hunt
>little kid in boy scout uniform grabs it from my hand, "LOOK DAD I FOUND A TREASURE HUNT!"
>snach the hot wheel right back, open it and throw it across the store.
>walk away like a boss.

>feeling sorry for kids

Idiots.

Good work OP. Here's my story

>Go to little cousin's house
>Realize he stole one of toys
>Take it back without him knowing

If he had asked, he could have had it but I ain't encouraging thieves.

Ex-Toys R Us fag here.

The day prior to Black Friday my co-worker apparently witnessed a full-grown neckbeard knock a kid on crutches over to get at some Transformer toys.

Not sure how true it is but I don't doubt it, really.

>Working at TRU minding my own business
>Indian dude comes up to me wanting to know the "strongest" beyblades
>I laugh and say, "Sorry, I really don't know much about these. I'm just a stocker."
>He rants and raves for like 2 minutes straight about "I should know everything in the store"
>Tell him I'll get my buddy
>Buddy knows a bit about Beyblades and tells me the worst/generic ones
>Go back to the asshole and recommend him those
>He buys them and treats the cute cashier like complete crap as he does
>Walks out like he's all proud of himself
>Our faces when

I feel bad for his kid, but goddamn that guy needed to get trolled so badly.

>Walk into toy aisle
>See last of a particular toy
>Snatch it up with a big grin
>Turn around to see small child welling up with tears
>Feel bad for a moment
>Let him buy it
>Feel awesome entire day

>Walk into toy aisle
>See last of a particular toy
>Snatch it up with a big grin
>Turn around to see small child welling up with tears
>Feel bad for a moment
>give toy to kid
>he only has $9
>scrounge around wallet, find $2, hand it to him
>he screams thanks at me, so he scrounges around pockets
>hands me the head of some Optimus Prime figure
>took it home, drilled a tiny hole in it, strung a necklace with it
>wear it to cons, tell the story

>>2319899
>>2319908
>Then I have the kid jack me off

>>2319868
God bless that man.

He treated that wretched cripple like he would anyone else. That is true equality.

Fuck that, when I shop for toys, I don't look around at anybody. I look for what I want, I grab it and leave.

>>2319908
That is a neat story.

I am not really into toys. I like figma and stuff, and I havent been inside a TRU except to look for 1:12 scale stuff.
I dont see the total obsession over transformers and shit though. I mean really...

ya'll are one sad breed of neckbeard fuckless fags.

>>2319908
That is awesome if it is true.

>wandering around Target toy aisle
>confused looking old woman approaches
>she asks "Do you like LEGO?"
>turns out she's shopping for her grandson, knows he likes building things but she doesn't know anything about the sets
>direct her towards the biggest most awesome set they have in stock
>she happily adds it to her cart and wanders off

Pay it forward little soldier.

>>2319929
>I am not really into toys.
>I like figma and stuff
Pick on-
>I dont see the total obsession over transformers and shit though. I mean really...
0/10

I hated kids until recently, not sure why. That said, OP is a fag.

>>2319968
You don't hate them because you want to fuck them.

>>2319951
Well he is right. I don't care about Transformers but when I see the threads here, be it either about customizing, bent cards or something else I wonder why you all get so upset. Meanwhile I order my moe moe kyun girls and then sit back and relax until they arrive.

>>2319973
Pretty much

ITT: We help spoil children. Later, we will complain and wonder why they have an enormous sense of entitlement.

OP here.

Just thought I'd add that as the kids parent took him away, he said something along the lines of "But thats the one I wanted".

Worst day of that little shits life, lol.

>>2319994
Good for you OP, seriously. Kids need to learn about disappointment, loss and not getting their way through tears. You have made the world a better place.

>take ABJD to local American-girl-type doll store to see if anything fits her
>Little girl sees my doll and gets all wibbly-eyed, whispers to her mother
>Ask if she wants to hold my doll
>talk to mom and girl about how pretty and customizable BJDs are, give them Bluefairy website
>Mom mentions girl's birthday coming up
>neglect to mention price
>mfw she finds out they're $500

This is the /toy/ of 4chan!

>>2319877
Indians are the worst fucking customers on the planet. I was once in Target wearing the uniform from my work because I just got off my shift (if consists of a white shirt, smock, and black pants)... and some Indian guy starts asking me questions like I worked there. srsly.

>>2320319

>Indians are the worst fucking customers on the planet.
>Tells sob story about how a paki asked him a few questions
>Wasn't even working at the time
>Happened one time
>Generalizing

Yep, those indians sure are terrible.

>Go to store and buy a megaman NT warrior figure way back when.
>Some fat little fucker, around the age of 9 storms up to me as I took the last one.
>says he wants it and demands I give it to him.
>Say no and walk away.
>He starts crying.

I taught that kid a lesson and I'm damn proud of it.

>>2319877
>>2320319
>>2320323
They really fucking are.

I live in Fremont, which has a large population of them, and goddamn, it's hell.


They will literally RIP, EVERYTHING, OPEN, right in front of you, and then ask you if they can have it discounted cause they "found it" opened.

It's so bad that we have to have 6 security guards, even though it's not that big of a Target.


Seriously, I saw a guy tear open a clamshell with a knife one time, in plain view of the entrance and cashiers, he then proceeded to look at it, and then just toss it on the floor.


Don't even get me started on their driving skills.

>>2320319
Please take your racism elsewhere. We talk about toys here, sir. Not how one guy hassled you and you generalized his entire race.

You did right, op. If I did such a thing my parents would have slapped the shit out of me. Its fine if they look visibly upset, but crying? Screaming?

Spoiled shits.

If they are nice and cool about it, I give it to them.

Im sure the kid liked the Lego Gunship from that yard sale.

>>2319821
I did that once, and a stereotypical hamlord picked it up. Nevermore.

>>2319974
He was trolling, he can't be right.

> walk into store
>find a toy i want
>grab toy
>kid looks at me
>I tell the kid you dont want this one here is why (normaly lie ) tell them they want this one cause its populer thats why they have so many
> walk out smileing cause i just sold a tuner mudflap

>>2320477
We need to do this more often, to clear out the fucking Tuner Twins.

>>2320323
>>2320330
You seriously think that's the only time it's happened? They're incredibly pushy and demanding, and for whatever reason they ALWAYS pay with credit cards despite the fact that their salons don't accept them. Also, some of them run convenience stores and will literally buy out our entire stock of a single item.

I'd dare say they're worse than old white people sometimes.

>go into toystore.
>find last toy on shelf, grab it.
>little kid wants it real bad, starts to cry.
>I hand it over, feel amazing all week

>Go to hospital to visit sick uncle
>little kid tugs at my pant leg and says he needs a heart transplant or he'll die
>give him my heart
>die
>feel awesome all eternity in heaven w/jesus

Man you guys are fucking lame. Why don't you just open up your wallet and throw cash at everyone who walks by? Most kids are spoiled little fucks, especially if you live in North America. All you're doing is teaching kids that if they CRY, they'll get what they want. Fucking 'tards.

>Shopping at my local TRU
>See WFC Optimus and Megatron
>Grab Optimus
>This fucking guy and his 6 yr old daughter...
>Mother fucker rips Megatron off the hook before I even have Optimus off of his
> *Megatron was behind Optimus*
>Tears half of the fucking top of the card of Megatron off
>Makes the J hook on mine rip off
>Pissed

>Walk around store for a few minutes
>See him and his daughter again
>He grabs some fucking Bratz doll off the shelf
>I grab the one RIGHT BEHIND HIS
>Knock his to the floor
>He looks at me
>I stare at his daughter while he stares me in the face
>Walk away
>See them a little bit later
>He is reaching for the price tag for some purple Huffy bike
>Probably for himself
>LOL
>HIs daughter had flip flops on with alternating blue and white nail polish
>Pick her up
>Rip her flip flops off
>Start sucking her toes
>Grab her budding bosoms
>Finger her

Leave

>>2320765
Tru story

>>2320765
Solace?

>>2320758
I'm with this guy. I hate seeing threads like this about how "This poor kid was crying because I took the toy, so I gave it to him".

Kids like that are used to crying their way into getting what they want. Fuck them.

>hamlord
I approve of this, and will use it in many posts.

>>2320789
you seem uncreative and slow of wit.

>Walk into bombed out grocery
>Snatch up last grenade
>Turn around to see small child welling up with tears
>Feel bad for a moment when I realize they are an orphan refugee
>Think of all those first-world kids with their fancy-ass roofs and indoor plumbing
>Hug my oozie and smile

>uncreative and slow of wit.
What's your point?

>>2320804
I lol'd

>>2320804
What's an 'oozie'?

Did you mean 'uzi'? Illiterate...

>Illiterate.
What's your point?

>>2320813
iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

>>2320819
>Illiterate
>implying that aside from the capitalized I looking like a lowercase L there's anything wrong with the spelling and you have a right to mock this guy about it.

>implying... you have a right
Damn, sir. Gentleman and a Scholar. Seems I have friends in low places.

>>2320828
I'm not even really being haughty about it. He spelt the word right, man.

>at a walmart
>some kid and his friend are ogling universe starscream
>they set him down and go look at some lego bullshit
>grab that motherfucker and make my happy, fat way to the cashier

>>2319976

This. Fucking million times over.

>>2320798
Not uncreative nor slow of wit, but I know a fun new term when I see it. Why so buttdestroyed, hamlord?

>Walk into toy aisle
>See kid with toy I want in his hands
>He has the biggest smile on his face
>I don't
>Whip out handgun and shoot him in the kneecaps
>He drops the toy and falls to the floor screaming
>I stand over him and say something cool
>Shoot him in the back of the head
>Take the toy
>Pay for it and leave, with the sound of a screaming mother ringing in my ears and all through the store.
>Smile

Good on you OP

>>2319944
damn son, that reminds me
>about 7 or 8 years old
>in toymaster looking at robot wars toys
>woman approaches me and my brother, looks about 60
>asks what the best robot wars robots are for her grandson's birthday
>feel the pressure of being responsible for a fellow child's happiness
>she doesn't know what robots he likes, makes it even harder cus i don't know which ones he likes
>after looking through the options with her decide it's safest to go with Sir Killalot, he wrecks shit and everyone likes Sir Killalot
>my bro gets Sergeant Bash and i get Dead Metal
>for weeks afterwards i'm worried i got him one he already had or didn't like
god damn i was a worrisome kid

>>2321124
faggot

>>2320758
>>2319976
Truth

OPs story reminds me of something recently.

>Ordered Mega Man X figure from a site.
Pic related
>I know a dude on the forum that I visit that he loves Mega Man stuff.
>I tell him about the figure I ordered.
>He's really excited.
>THEY ARE OUT OF STOCK
>I apparently ordered the last one from that site.
>I can't help but to smile a little.

Fuck, I'm usually isn't like this but the rage I saw from him was just delicious.

>>2320744

nothing is worse than old white people
Surely you jest.

>At Target
>Getting a friend (A batmanphile) some action figure for his b-day
>owe him for doing alot of shit for me
>Grab one of the last figures (It was the Riddler or something not sure since its been awhile)
>Blonde mother and her son come up to me
>Asks me if they can have it
>"Sorry but Im getting this for a friend."
>"Excuse me?"
>"Sorry lady Im sure they will have more if you ask at the count-"
>"What are you some kind of Pedophile?"
>She made sure to say it as loud as can be heard
>She gives herself a smug face the one that says "I got you now" kind of look
>MFW
> :\ Ok
>walk off and buy the thing while she follows me out to the parking lot to call me out some more till
>I don't have a car I walked here
>She follows past two crosswalks thinking I parked further away
>She storms off and snaps a heel


The worst kind is always the same, especially if they wear flower prints.

>>2321221
wow what a crazy bitch.

>>2321221
Same shit happened to me at the local TRU

>Ask if I'm a pedophile
>Turn to her kid
>You mother doesn't love you and the only reason she's buying you toys is because she knows she'll never be there for you when you need her the most.
>Kid cries.
>Mother looks like she's about to kill herself.
>Walk away, Longstrike under one arm, Drift and Blurr in the other.

She looked one of those career cunts who works 12 hours a day in an office, and buys their children toys occasionally in order to fill the void that she doesn't. Bluetooth in ear, pantsuit, fake tan and all that shit.

>>2320929
I beg to differ thundercunt.

>>2321241
100% justified in your actions there mate. If she wants to make accusations of that gravity, she should deal with equal counteraccusations.

>>2321241
Kind of a dick move for you to get the kid caught up in the crossfire.

>>2321261
Unless of course we're talking about this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCwn1NTK-50

>>2321261
By the next day, he won't remember shit. His mother will probably end up doing more damage than my little comment.

archive this shit!

>Walmart
>pick up Straxus
>notice kid at my feet
>"Wow, that tank looks cool!"
>hand it to him
>he takes it to his mom and leaves
>feels good man

>finally find RTS Wreck-gar
>notice kid at my feet
>"Dude, that Transformer looks cool! Is there another one?"
>there's not another one
>tell him that he actually sucks, but since I'm a collector I buy them all
>send him off with some PCC I convinced him was perfect

You can't be nice all the time.

>>2321331
>Recommending a PCC instead of a toy the kid will probably break due to its design flaws

Not seeing a problem here unless you pointed him toward Doubleclutch.

im late to the party. anyway I find nothing offensive about OP's story. from what i get, the kid's mother wasnt going to buy it anyway. the smile is only wrong when you think of it in differnt context

>>2319571
Unrelated question; can anyone tell me the story on that picture? I kind of want it for my bf's collection, but I have no clue what I should be looking for since it's clearly not what the box says.

And to make it related:
>buying cheap bulk MLPs for art projects at toy fair
>pick out all the baby ponies
>little kid and her mother sees the little ponies which I've already taken all of and starts rummaging through the basket for the no longer there ponies

Sorry, that's like, the worst thing I've ever done to kids. I'm not a regular of this board.

>>2321427
I think it's an Arcee toy from the second Transfomers movie line. Someone returned an old toy in a new toys package. You see that kind of thing every now and then.

>>2321537
hm. well, if it's a bayformer, I think my bf would prefer a swift kick to the sack instead.
Still, what kind of cheap bastard even does that? RTS's aren't even approaching the expensive side of things.

But thanks for the assist! You get one free karma pass to make a kid sad. I suggest knocking the ice cream out of their hands and or farting on them.

>>2321549
Never underestimate just how cheap people can be, even a couple bucks is too much to them

>>2321553
cheap cheap bastards... What's wrong with just living with your buyers remorse?

>>2321331
>notice kid at my feet

are you a giant

>>2320765
I lold so hard

>>2321665

The closest I've had to this was the other week when I got there just in time to see some guy walking off with my Hot Wheels Back to the Future Time Machine. I took it like a boss and said nothing, though I'm not a kid...

Also bump

This a good story, starring my brother after he had ear drum surgery of some kind, late 90's
>brother has his head bundled like a damn arab
>he and I are looking for the Episode 1 toys
>can't find Maul
>my brother gets some waterworks going
>finds the nearest employee
>asks if they have Darth Maul in back
>dude says he isn't supposed to, but will check
>10 minutes later, we both have Darth Maul's

That guy was awesome, and it's why I'm more than happy to check for toys in back at my store when the people are nice enough. If you're an asshole, guess what? What's on the shelf is all we got.

>Pay for it and leave, with the sound of a screaming child ringing in my ears and all through the store.
>Smile

I've got bad news for you sunshine.

Karma always straightens people like you out.

Always.

>>have sex with girl
>>about to cum
>yell out, "YOU GOT THE TOUCH, YOU GOT THE POWWAAAAH..."
>>grab her DDcup-size boobies and massage them
>>"NOW, LIGHT OUR DARKEST HOUR!"

>>2322284

No such thing as karma, sunshine.

Wandering through toy section of a target, some little kid is wandering around as well, kid grabs a toy guy and starts running around shooting it while still in the packaging and yelling i think whatever, annoying but whatever, kid comes into the aisle i'm in and throws the toy gun on the ground with all his might and is about to run off, then he catches sight of me, i'm 6ft tall and this kid is maybe 3 1/2ft i put on my best "angry dad" face and stare right into this kids eyes and say "pick it up and put it back" kid picks up the toy and slowly back away, I'm sick of walking into stores with stuff smashed and strewn all over the place because parents can't control their pets, incidentally i was back in that target recently and a whole bunch of the toys had been opened and a couple of the toys had pieces broken off.

>>2322284
People ending their sentences with 'sunshine' just makes me think of the dozens of 50+ y.o. dominatrixes who are all condescending on /d/.

>>2322284

So with your secular bullshit version of the concept, would you consider all the unfortunate victims of good ol' karma? Those dying of hunger used to be gluttons when they sucked their mom's nipples dry to the point of deflation?

The mom most likely would not buy the toy. I could never count the number of times a parent comes to a register with their kid(s) holding toys so they'll be entertained, only to say "I don't want this". This is always, always, always, followed with them screaming bloody murder. Why the fuck do these people find it so hard to bring a damn toy from home to hold a kid's attention while running errands? This behavior only encourages kids to throw tantrums cause they get angry cause they're disappointed they didn't get a toy. I swear if i have kids i will not be such a fucktard.

>>2322355
This.

Karma is tool for the pathetic and vindictive to wish hurt on others.

>>2322429
Karma is more like the ignorant man's explanation of a shitty person getting what is coming to them because they pissed off the wrong person and BAM, shitstorm has arrived.

People fucking love mysticism, helps them deal with their pathetic little lives, as if by pretending there's something beyond their comprehension it will waft over and fix their awful lives without them growing up and taking responsibility for themselves.

I hate working with poor manchildren, but they taught me a lot about dumb people. At least the beardos accept they are failures and deal with it, these 'normal' people are just batshit insane.

But hey, a government job is a government job, set for life.

3 month old gets killed in a car accident.

HUHUHUH, KARMA'S A BITCH

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

archive this shit

fighting tournament
elvis and me street fighter related dream in which we fought weird people
one asian guy had lego like armor
I had nintendo power glove as weapon
shit was real
meh you know

Kids are evil
>classics just came out
>looking for grimlock
>break toe tripping on screw driver
>on crutches
>find grimlock
>limping to cashier
>demon child jumps of my good foot
>fall and drop grimlock
>kid takes grimlock and the staff do nothing

bump for moar stories

>Work at Toys R Us
>Wii is just released, and is the hot new item
>Store rarely gets any Wiis, and they sell out instantly when we do
>Dumb mothers see the empty Wii box displays, thinking we have Wiis
>They demand Wiis, even after we tell them we don't have any
>They accuse us of lying
>I tell them that I was lying, and that I will bring out a wii for them
>they look all smug and satisfied with themselves
>I unzip my pants, and whip out my weewee

>buy all my toys online or from hobby stores because I don't collect trash designed for children
>never deal with any of this shit

>>2320319
>>2320323
>>2320327
Suddenly, /toy/ is /ck/

>Chillblaxing my way through the toy aisle
>Pickin up that Optimus Prime vidya game space version
>Neckbeard on the assault, approach imminent
>Vocal attack
>Stare blankly
>Why he is melting
>Retreat
>Retreat failed, blocked by [Wall]
>Wall attacks with toys
>Covered in toys
>Run blindly
>Manage to get the fuck out of the cave
>I'm surrounded by underwear for pre-teens
>But I'm not a pedo
>What if people think I am
>Oh god why is there a Subway in my Wal-Mart?
>Is this even Wal-Mart?
>Was that even a Subway?
>After days of searching locate the counter
>Pay for Optimus Prime, candy, T-Shirts and cold-cuts
>Leave the waitress a generous tip
>Try to get home
>Can't remember where I parked my car
>It's parked at home
>Walk all the way home
>Get in my car
>Drive home
>Open Optimus
>The instructions feel like nails on a blackboard, discard immediately
>Spend 20 minutes trying to Transform him before passing out in the driveway

Man FUCK toy shopping

Closest I have is in line at the local video store. To put it in context since I won't be hanging out in this thread I have a warning/threatening look my friends have dubbed 'The Charles'. One went so far as to once say: "I can't do The Charles, but if I could I'd be doing The Charles at Charles right now." when I put my foot in my mouth. The Charles has also worked on a persistant drug peddler in Surrey, and some schizo that forgot his morning pills; as he was walking beside me on my way home from work he was muttering "liar, you're a liar, lair" to the point that he got himself worked up enough to cock his fist and turn on me. The Charles dissuaded him, and he returned to his muttering.

It's like this, but with less fur.

>Child in lineup throwing a tantrum for god knows why
>Apply The Charles
>Growl "Only your mom can protect you from me."
>Tantrum stops
>Everyone looks horrified
>Give everyone The Charles
>Rebukes die on the first syllable
>Rent my movie

>See child every couple of days at the Wal-Mart where I work, can't really remember how long.
>He just looks at action figures, wears clothes that looks ragged as fuck, his father seems to think we should be babysitting the kid while he works in the evening. Manager has no idea what to do about it. I'm pretty sure the Father is single, and working like fifteen fucking jobs, never seems like he is on drugs or any shit like that.
>I see this kid crying while sitting on the fucking floor one day.
>Ask him whats up, he doesn't say anything, ask him if his father is around, he says he hasn't seen him in a couple hours.
>Buy the kid some apples and this dragon action figure 'cause he looks like the saddest kid ever. Give generalized pep talk.
>Haven't seen the kid in 3 months now.

Man, I hope that kid is okay. Life just kinda blows.

>>2323790
...lies?

>Work at TRU
>Put out case of Hot Wheels
>Case has a Treasure Hunt
>Crush the TH, then put it on the pegs with it's pristine brethren.
>mfw a Hot Wheels collector finds it

Worst case/best case scenario, some kid gets it instead.

>>2323832
What are Treasure Hunt cars? Are those the ones in the blind-boxed black packaging? Because at our stores they are always opened and thrown around anyways.

children are horrible monsters

>at Wal-Mart
>they never have any DC Superheroes why do I even bother coming here
>find complete waves of Batman series 7 & 8
>somebody up there loves me
>grab Two-Face, Clayface, Catwoman, Batgirl
>mother and little kid walk into aisle
>kid points at clayface and two-face, screaming at his mother that he wants them and to get them from me
>she offers to buy them from me (i haven't even paid for them yet)
>tell her no
>she says her son wants them and i should give them to her
>tell her no
>she starts screaming at me, son starts bawling
>I go to check out, she harasses me the entire way to my car
>I drive away while she screams at me

I think the suffering those toys caused made them even more fun to play with than normal.

Bonus story of neckbeard hilarity

>on casual stroll through TRU one day just to see what's new
>find entire line of Marvel Legends Series 6 on pegs
>quickly grab them all
>turn around to see fat neckbeard with a cart full of hot wheels and transformers
>he tells me he saw the ML figures first and they belong to him
>tell him he should have grabbed them first then
>he gets super pissed and grabs them out of my hands and books it for the checkout
>manager was walking the store and saw him grab the toys, stops him before he reaches the cashier
>he gets banned from the store
>as I leave he's sitting on the curb crying
>I laugh the entire drive home

>>2323790
I love this post. It's a picture-perfect example of a fucking weirdo who thinks he's badass, but everyone else just thinks is pathetically bizarre.
>"Only your mom can protect you from me."
This line is so deliciously, terribly lame and corny that I couldn't even have imagined it in my wildest dreams.

>>2323794

I was thinking the same damn thing.

>>2323858

Special series of limited edition cars that are randomly inserted in cases. They usually have a green border on the package... there are different rarity levels... some can fetch a nice price. They are not the blind boxed ones with the black bubble. Those are pure shit.

>>2323858
they're the hot wheels equivalent of chase figures

they say Treasure Hunt or T-Hunt on the blister card and have superior wheels and paint apps than normal hot wheels cars, and have much lower production runs and only a handful of different types are released each year

i've seen grown men get into fistfights over them, like savage bloody fights, it's really sad

>>2323790

This is a bad post, and you should be ashamed for posting it, "Charles."

>I unzip my pants, and whip out my weewee.
whatisthisidon'teven

>>2323790

an actual image of this poster

>>2323790
I knew a kid like you in elementary school. He was the weird kid who sat in the back and ate paste, and if he didn't want to talk to you he would talk in a deep "demon" voice and say he was going to eat your face if you didn't leave him alone. He thought he was the toughest guy in school, but everybody really avoided him because he was weird and pathetic and completely unlikeable.

When he grew up he slit his wrists.

>>2323790

>Walk into toy aisle
>See last of a particular toy
>Snatch it up with a big grin
>Turn around to see small child welling up with tears
>Feel bad for a moment
>give toy to kid
>he only has $9
>scrounge around wallet, find $2, hand it to him
>he screams thanks at me, so he scrounges around pockets
>hands me the head of some Optimus Prime figure
>took him home, drilled his tiny hole until he bled out, strung a necklace with his teeth and the Optimus head
>wear it to cons, tell the story

>>2323884
My name is Wil, not Charles, and I don't try to intimidate people, I take the piss.

That guys a nobhead.

>>2323910
Dude you told that story already: >>2319908

>>2323874
I don't have a face for this-
I've seen like, tons of those treasure hunt cars, every single time that I can recall I go past a hotwheels section I'll find them. I had no idea, I was just like lol t-hunt is a lame name for a car.

But it's all good, because I don't even like hotwheels.

>>2323910

> Then I had the kid jack me off

>>2323952

You were never really good with reading comprehension were you?

>>2324104
Oh god, baby don't stop I'm close. Keep going.

>>2323733
>>2323733

>I unzip my pants, and whip out my weewee

I fucking lol'd hard that I farted

The closest I have is about 5 years ago or so, when Narnia came out. I was super drunk and I was in McDonalds. I decided I wanted an Aslan happy meal toy, but I didn't want a happy meal, so I told the guy at the till that I wanted Aslan... I kinda knew him, I wasn't just making crazy demands of staff.

He explained that there was one Alan left, and that a child had just ordered a happy meal and it was being served in about a minute.

I reminded the staff member that it was too late for a child to be out (it was midnight) and he shouldn't be rewarded for staying up past his bedtime.

Needless to say, the child received a shitty mole thing. The guys at the till told the kid that actually they'd sold out, while I sat on the next table making aslan eat my friend's chips.

I had one hell of a hangover the next day, and to this day, I still have aslan.

>>2323748
Holy fuck I lol'd

>>2323874
This.

I have seen several gangbanging eses earn assault charges over these things.

I have also seen a dad with beer gut abandon his toddler kids just to snag one.

>In TRU
>Grabbed RTS Wreck-Gar
>A mother demands I give it to her
>"If you don't give it to me by the count of three, I'm getting security."
>One
>Two
>Three
>RIDER KICK
>Clock Up the fuck out of there with Wreck-Gar in hand

I work in a toy store.
See a Lego set I want, but I was not yet sure if I should buy it. Its kind of expensive but word the price..
It's the creator fighter jet the red and white one. Its the last one on the shelf and it no longer on the list of Lego set's we can order meaning its replaced by a newer set and will no longer be available in our store.
A kid walks into the store goes to the Lego section and sees it. He is younger then the recommended age on the box (6 or 7 years old the box is labled 8 - 12) He takes it off the shelf and leaves it on the floor than goes to look at other boxes. (I hate it when they don't put stuff back). He runs out the store.
I walk over pick up the box, go to the counter, bagged it and put it in the back with a note with my name on it.

Ten minutes later kid comes back Mom in tow. He runs to the Lego section searching for the box, his heart just dropped when he could not find. I hear him complain to mom how he really wanted it. He had saved his pocket money for it and was going to build it with his dad.
They come to me, his mom makes him ask me where it is. I smile and tell him if its not there it's sold out. I refuse to go there and help them look. Kid is crying his mom asks if we have them in the store room. I say No all we have is in the store. Mom ask me if I am sure and I tell her its no longer on the ordering list so we wont be getting it anymore. Mom get tired of kid crying even though he is fighting the tears. Tells him to shut up and leaves with him. Yells at him he is not getting anything now.

Twenty minutes later my shift is over, I pay for the box and get me some smaller sets with all with a nice 15% employee discount. With my purchases in my bicycle bags I walk out of the building, its one o'clock in the afternoon as I smile at the sun. I get on my bike and ride home.
Life is good after all.

(I am going to Hell for that bit and your all comming with me. )

>>2324147
If that's true, you're a cunt and I hope you die painfully. We collect children's toys. Let the kids play with the fucking things, we have the means to buy them elsewhere if necessary.

>>2324147
And lo another child learns of loss and disappointment.

Kudos to you man, you are making the world a better place.

>>2324147
>>2324173
I don't like kids and I hate there parents and most of them are fucking foreigners who refuse to learn our language.

Only a thirt of all our customers speaks our countries language properly the rest very poorly or not at all.

>>2324178
>most of them are fucking foreigners who refuse to learn our language

Says the cunt who fails to get simple words right.

>>2324180
I am a Dutch man at least I bothered to attempt to type English as properly as I can. I speak it a lot better than I type I will give you that.

Like they say in my country

Krijg de tyfus spellings nazi.

I try not to be a racist but these people give me so many reasons to hate them.

ITT: Neckbeards no better than the whiny brats they're messing with.

What's kinda ironic is that most of /toy/ collects toys simply because they would get into the same situations when they were little, and would grow to have entitlement issues, going back and buying all the things they couldn't have as children, reliving their child hood, as a result, growing into the manchildren they are now.

>>2324186
Try harder, you butthurt fag. Jesus, no wonder the Germans steamrollered over you so easily. Your army probably started crying the second a Hitler Youth member pointed his penknife at them.

>>2324218
lol u mad that your country didn't do shit?

>>2324218
>steamrollered

>>2324173

>>2324225
The UK didn't do shit? Interdasting.

>>2324239
>He thinks the UK was ever relevant.

Keep pumping out shitty Guy Ritchie films, faggot.

>>2324241
>largest empire the world has ever seen
>stood alone against Nazi Germany
>not relevant
Dream on, little Dutch boy. Aren't you supposed to be sticking your finger in a dyke?

>Guy Ritchie films
>shitty
Pick one.

>>2324249
>Implying I'm Dutch

>>2324249
WAIT WUT
>largest empire the world has ever seen
LOLNO
>stood alone against Nazi Germany
Didn't one of your boys support Hitler?

Don't be stupid.

>>2324241
>shitty Guy Ritchie films

What.

>>2324253
I am neutral in this conversation, but in terms of land governed by the UK, yes, it was in fact the largest empire at its greatest extent, which according to the internet, was 1922. This does not make it the largest. In terms of cultural impact, it could be argued the USA could be the largest (an empire of ideas is what they usually call it) due to the dominance of their media.

>>2324258
This does not make it the ''best''*.
My mistake.

>>2324254
>mfw Revolver was a shitty Guy Ritchie movie

>>2324258
Whatever happened to Rome or all the shit the Monguls did?
I never hear of England being name dropped when largest empires comes up.

>>2324262
You never hear of them being the largest because the British Empire was larger than the Roman and Mongol Empires, it's as simple as that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_largest_empires#All_empires_at_their_greatest_extent
The Mongol Empire was second largest, however, which is quite impressive for when it was around.

>>2324266
As for which empire was the most important, that would take quite a lot of debate for a thread regarding whining about children bothering us when we are buying children's toys. Though the British Empire did shape the modern world. It is the heart of the industrial revolution.

>Go into target with two of my friends
>Go into toy section and load up on nerf guns
>At checkouts, our total comes to about $150
>Little kid behind us in line with his mom
>He just stares at our purchase with such intense jealously

His face was just so funny.

Not a "be a monster" story, nor a real "saw a neckbeard" one. Casual observation that turned horrible horror today.

>Looking at DVDs and toys at Target.
>Notice a scruffy gangly geek with a terrible haircut in a Green Lantern shirt looking over the Transformers and GI Joes.
>Shrug and keep browsing, not the sort of person I'd want to get close to, I think.
>Glance again, notice he has a shit ton of tattoos on his weedy arms.
>Wait that couldn't be
>Knuckle tats
>No, it just-
>Toy department guy asks if he can help the nerd find something
>"Yeah, Green Lan-turn?"
>my fucking face when I realized Sean Long was shopping in my local Target.

>>2324253
Now, ValleLator, you are a cool dude and all, but the Nazi plans to invade America, involved just hoping to ignore the UK, which is pretty crazy for a tiny useless island that was past it even then.

>>2324572
Shoulda decked him.

>>2324572

>Sean Long

>>2324572

>>2324583
>>2324587
>>2324590
Yep. Looks like his failure at life learned the value of shopping economically and plans to shill the Green Lantern movie next.

Dude was even almost shilling for Target when the employee told him they didn't have the toys out yet. "Well I love shopping at Target, you guys always have the best prices, not like THOSE OTHER STORES", etc.

>>2324572
>mfw sean long

>>2324572

archive?

>>2319577

unill they grow up and through your plastic ass in the trash and you get melted down at the city dump

>>2319936

neckbeard

neckbeard

neckbeard

lived my whole life without ever hearing this word before and now everother comments seams to have it

Where did this word come from

It sounds nasty wish i could make it go away forever

>Sonic and the Black Knight figures come out
>Out and about town, stop by Toys R Us for whatever reason
>See it there, pick one up, everything went better than expected
>Go to Arby's
>Kinda fiddle around with Sonic, trying to get him to hold Caliburn
>Store is bumfuck empty
>Suddenly this little girl runs up to me
>"WOOAAAHH! DID YOU GET THAT HERE!"
>Open my mouth to say no, but her mom calls her back first
>Her mom is placing the order
>The girl is screaming "EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME", pointing at me, looking over her shoulder to make sure I'm still there
>My number gets called
>Get my food and get the fuck out of there
>Try to pretend it never happened

Someone did this to me when I was 13 or so. It was when the Episode 1 wave first hit stores, I had found a Darth Maul only to have it torn from my young hands by a big fat sweaty neckbeard. To this day, if I see take the last of a toy a kid wants, I'll give it to him. No sense in being a dick.

>>2325300
> sweaty neckbeard

this most be the new "Thats Hot" for nerds
What was " Did i do that: geting old

>>2325362
Where's the pic from? Could have sworn I'm seen it elsewhere.

>Pick up a couple of DCU figures from local TRU
>Get to the cash, cashier is hot
>Asks me if I want a gift receipt
>Say yes.

>>2325365
That's the haunted mask from Goosebumps!

> Go to TRU
> see transformer I wanted
> little girl with dad coming from behind
> "I want that one"
> Oh hell no
> Decide to walk away ignoring them
> dad asks if I can have the toy I am holding
> head to the back of store trying to lose them
> go to counter to buy toy
> need to go to the bathroom
> see same girl head to the girl/boy room the one that is for parents.
> Follow her
> Asks her if she still wanted the toy
> Says yes
> Stick my weewee at her mouth and tell her to lick it and suck it like a lolipop
> come in her mouth
> tell her to spit it out on the toilet and tell her you earned the toy
> Give her the bag of toy I bought and leave
> feelsgoodman.jpg

>>2325429
I think we've all done this.

>>2325429
>Didn't tell her to swallow

>>2325429

>I have the wierdest boner.jpg

>>2325429

>>2325429

I lol'd

>>2325429

*pulls foreskin in anticipation* :D

> Goes to TRU
> sees a whole bunch of series 4 minifigs
> grab the whole lot without hesitation
> puts them in my target bag
> leave store like a boss

>>2325429

>They buy toys from PHYSICAL STORES

What is this the 90s?

>>2326009

lyk OMG!
i know right!
going outside of ur house and buying stuff is so lyk 90's
text much lolz

>>2324253
THE UK WAS KNOWN AS THE "KINGDOM WHERE THE SUN NEVER SETS".
BECAUSE IT NEVER DID.
IT LITERALLY REACHED AROUND THE FUCKING GLOBE.
INDIA, HUGE SWATHES OF AFRICA, AND COUNTLESS ASSORTED ISLANDS WERE ALL BRITISH.

FUCKING AMERIFAGS NOT KNOWING HISTORY.

YES I MAD.

>>2326089

You're mad because we don't speak english. You speak american.

>>2326089

Don't forget Shanghai, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Iraq, Palestine, Jordan, Quatar, Oman, Florida and much of the Caribbean

The United Kingdom nearly owned the world during the industrial age. English is spoken nearly everywhere today for the very reason that they did. If not as a primary language, as a secondary one because their bosses or people they traded with spoke it. It had power over ONE FOURTH of the world's population at the time.

The British EMPIRE was like the empire out of Star Wars without a Death Star to blow up as an 'I win' button. It only really dissolved after two world wars... Even then it still 'owns' several countries like Australia and New Zealand.

Sage for not being part of the discussion, you may now pick your brains up off the floor.

This thread was awesome, now it's another disappointment.

>>2326676

agreed

>>2326089
>>2326311
But I showed him how he is wrong by simply linking him to statistics earlier. No need to continue to plague this thread with this discussion. Get back to your amusing stories involving encounters with the larval kind!

OP here.

Get back on track or I'm deleting this thread.

I just don't understand how greentext stories of collectors ruining the lives of little kids could come second to.. what the hell are you guys talking about? World empires? Fuck off.

>>2327185
Ooh, hark at the tough guy! Delete this thread? You don't have the balls, faggot.

>>2323791

Good on ya, mate. Bringing a little ray of sunshine into a kid's life is the best thing you can do in that case.

>Used to work at TRU
>Talking to customer
>Watch neckbeard hot wheels collector push a kid down to get to his precious

>>2327185
Dickless wimp.

>>2327185
This thread is bad and you should all feel bad.
Feel free to delete it.

this is relevant to my interests

>>2327363
He lacks the testicular fortitude.

>>2327343

>Watch neckbeard
> neckbeard

neckbeard
neckbeard
neckbeard Stricks again !
> mfw Iv counted the word Neckbeard over 63 times in this thread !

Do you guys get some kinda hardon every time you use this word or what lol

>Some kid tried to take the last McFarlane's Halo Reach Carter.
>Run up to him.
>Ask if I can have it instead
>Explain to him he probably wouldn't want it anyways.
>He tells me Carter is his favorite.
>I proceed to pummel his face in.
>Take the toy.
>Laugh in his face
>Spit in his face
>Leave
>Buy toy.

Kids need to learn their place. Under my boot.

>>2327786
>macfarlane toys
>Halo Reach
>kids trying to buy

those things do not go together

in all seriousness if I were a kid who just wanted to play with my toys I'd probably hate the reach line they aren't really the toys to play with more like fiddle around and display.

>>2327797

He was probably an avid collector. He was even wearing a shirt that said Jin Saotome shirt.

kindofrelated.
>Work at a small used bookstore, where only one person works at a time.
>I leisurely stroll in at 10:30.
>At 11, a middle-aged woman with a cane walks in, says she was here at 10:15. Gives me a hard time for being late.
>She shops, and comes to the desk with a pile of books.
>Asks for a discount.
>I say "Sorry, but No."
>She pays for her books, and tells me to be on time as she walks away.
>Thumb my nose as she hobbles out the door with her full-priced books that I would have gladly discounted, had she not been an asshole.

im 8 and u gaise r assholes

archive this shit

>work at WalMart last summer
>stocking toy shelves
>bratty, shitnosed little bastard demanding his mom to buy him a specific Bakugan toy
>shouting that its a big red dragon
>haven't got to stocking Bakugan section yet
>he practically pulls the hooks off the shelf while grabbing the bakugans, his mom telling him to calm down
>the same four, over and over
>no big red dragon bakugan
>mom says I must not have opened that box yet, seeing me stocking Pokémon, two brands down
>he throws fit, telling his mom to tell me to put the bakugan out instead
>'mom' looks like she's about to beat the kid, asks me if the bakugan are opened yet
>tell 'mom' that I'm not allowed to open the box until I get to that part of the shelf
>'mom' tells him I can't
>kid looks at me with a glare
>tells me 'Do it! I want (whatever it's called)! Give it to me!'
>look at 'mom'
>look at kid
>"No. You have horrible manners."
>kid lets out a pissed off grunt
>'mom' tells him he should've asked nicely, tells me sorry for the trouble
>thirty seconds later, he's throwing a fit, hear him grunt as he shoves 'mom'
>hear slap
>he shuts up
>"DO not push me! I'm telling your dad when we get home, and you're getting your ass busted!!"
>open Bakugan crate
>first one I pull out is the dragon that the kid wanted
>put it on the shelf
>different kid comes over, sees it, face lights up
>asks his grandma politely
>they leave with one of the smaller packs and the larger dragon toy
>shitty kid got smacked
>good kid got bakugans and appreciated them
>feel good rest of day

>>2329123
Fucking best thing this thread had in recent days.

>Browsing Target a few days after the Transformers movie comes out.
>Spot Bumblebee on the shelf and snag him.
>Almost immediately a neckbeard comes out of no where and asks for it.
>Tell him no and make the excuse it was for a young relative.
>See child looking through the figures, and he spots the bumblebee in my cart.
>With a look of disappointment and desperation, asks if he could have it.
>Smile and give it to him, causing him to run off in bliss.
>Neckbeard sees this and gets furious.
>Tell him I'd rather have someone who'd enjoy it have it rather than it just be scalped.
>He stomps off
>Feel good for the whole day.

>>2329123

>Bad kid gets home
>Father arrives
>Kid gets severely beaten
>Cigar burns
>Gets locked in the closet for the next three days
>Cries himself to sleep
>Good kid gets home
>Molested by grandma
>Grandma keeps buying kid Bakugan toys so they won't tell their parents.

That's how it really goes down.

>>2329153

>>2329027

Why would he be putting on a pair of shades when he already has a pair on?

Or is he removing them? In which case why would he wear two pairs at once?

>>2329153
Or better yet...

>Good kid lives only with their grandma
>Their parents died in an accident
>Grandma buys kid toys so they feel better
>No amount of Bakugan toys will cure the emptiness they feel after their parent's deaths

>>2329153
>>2329173
Useless add-ons to a great story

>>2329153
yup

>>2329177

The moral is there is no good or bad ending for either child. The only thing that awaits them outside that toystore is pain.

Everyone experiences pain, regardless of their behavior. Morality is pointless in the face of suffering.

>>2329202
Which just reenforced my statement in saying it's a useless add-on. This thread is about the /toy/soldier, not the kid.

>>2329202
Stop projecting. Just because your life sucks doesn't make it the norm.

>>2329209
>>2329212

Fine. Go back to talking about world powers. I didn't want to share pain and suffering with you guys anyways.

>>2329213
I'm not here for world powers, and I'm not here for child molesting. I'm here for stories about one soldier, his treasure, and the battle for it.

>>2329220
Nobody wanted you to share shit.

>Couple years back at Walmart 2 a.m. with some buddies
>Notice they just restocked the Star Wars section
>Jackpot, get all the Mcquarrie concept figures, etc.
>Turn around and see local scalper fag
>Ask him if he'd like to buy some of the figures at the price he charges everyone else
>Laugh at him when he says that too expensive

bump

OP is a baller. Why should some spoiled kid have more right to a a toy than someone who actually has to work to buy their own toys.

Fuck kids, my collection comes first

>Why would he be putting on a pair of shades when he already has a pair on?

>Or is he removing them? In which case why would he wear two pairs at once?

ithinkyoumissedthepoint.jpg

bump

>>2330349
>Why would he be putting on a pair of shades when he already has a pair on?

>Or is he removing them? In which case why would he wear two pairs at once?
Why wouldn't you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SszrLYK_LA0

herp derp with added merp...

>walking around tru
>see woman putting toys in a trolley
>neckbeard walks up and demands a trans
>woman says no as it's for kids birthday
>neckbeard takes it when she is not looking
>he wobbles away as fast as his fat legs will take him
>i walk into him by "accident" bending the card
>he gets angry and throws toy away
>i give toy back to woman and tell's her what happned and apologise for the bent card
>she says the kid don't care about card board and thanks me
>find £1 on the floor and put it in a capsule machine
>get a pichu keyring
>give to girlfriend
>smiles all round

>>2319565

Fuck him, he was probably rich and white.

>>2320000

... and when he gets older, he;ll realize not only did he get the toy he wanted, and that he was the right age for it, but that the person it went to wasn't buying it for a kid, but was buying it for himself, being a tremendous faggot overweight neckbeard.

The horror...

>>2322284

Yeah, except sometimes it does and it's generally known that the biggest cock-tards usually have rich parents and go way far in life because they have mommy and daddy's money to hire peons to make them rich.

'kjhnvbc

>>2329146
> neckbeard comes out
> neckbeard

oH Look this word again
the /toy/ NECKBEARD STRIKS AGAIN!

>>2329153

>>2331762
>neckbeard walks up
>neckbeard
the return of the Neckbeard !
u guys realy love using that word lol

What are neckbeards? I live in NYC and I rarely see these "neckbeards" Are they rare or something? Like my Drossel figma?

>>2332730
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neckbeard

This happened a few years back.

>At local Target, trying to find a Transformers Cybertron Optimus
>After digging around the bottom shelf where all the leader class ones are, finally find one in the next section over
>Turns out that's the last one
>"Is that Optimus? Cool!"
>Little kid that was literally only half my size looks at me like I'm some kind of God
>Mother asks if we can have it
>Hesitate, but give it to them anyway
>They start walking away, but the little kid stops and turns back around, then walks back towards me
>He holds out the box towards me and asks if I want it; I refuse
>He says thanks, and runs off when his mom starts calling for him.

His mom raised him right, I tell you what.

>>2332623

They also love to infer that the "Neckbeard" is always fat too

>>he wobbles away as fast as his fat legs will take him

It's almost like a fetish the way they uses it all the time.

>>2332882
Can we expect Neckbeard NTR doujins?
(Replacing girls with figures)

the stories in this thread are fucking hilarious

bumpy bumpy

>Be in Kb-toys forever ago.
>See other guy, checking out the Mortal Kombat figs.
>Resembles Bam Margera, albeit vaguely .
>He leaves
> head to Target, He's there
>Strikes up a Convo with me about Marvel legends.
>We become friends fast.
>Stay Friends for the next 5-6 years (to this day)
>Hang out all the time, work on customs together.
Yeah, pretty fucking awesome.
Not a /toy/soldiers-are-monsters story.
But felt like sharing.

>buy all my toys online
>never encounter said awkwardness

I love this thread. MOAR.

>Picking up toys at my local TRU
>Middle aged whore comes up with her little daughter
>"Excuse me, are you a PEDOPHILE?"
>Wait till they both leave the store and follow after them
>Follow them down an alleyway
>Grab her daughter
>Shove my tongue down her throat
>Fondle her delicious flat chest
>Throw her onto the ground and step on her legs until they're broken, making her sob like the little bitch she is
>Squeeze the whore's neck and throttle her until she passes out
>Kidnap them both and tie them up in my basement
>Have them perform mother-daughter incest in front of my camera
>"WHO'S THE PEDOPHILE NOW, BITCH?"
>Reenact the trauma with my Transformers
>What a good day!

heh you silly neckbeards and your toys

itt:

>>2335071

> that feel when they bitch about the pain

sage for utter faggotry

>>2335498

>Work at TRU.
>Some Custard-fingered-40-year-old-fuck treads the kids in the sotre like shit.
>Asks me for to check for some figure in the storage cause it´s not yet on the pegs
>tell him to look for it himself
>lead him inside some old storage room no one uses anymore
>lock the door
>forget about him and quit the job a few days later
> read about the police finding a deceased person in a storage room in a TRU in the newspaper
> mfw

>>2336241
lol'd

>Walk into tru
>Shoot all kids on the way to toy aisle
>Tuner Mudflaps. Tuner Mudflaps everywhere.
>Suicide

That was a bad fuckin day.

>>2337748
omg r u okay?

>Go into Target
>Find DoTM figures a week early.
>Not in the system, get them for the prices of the old shit they have on clearance.
>Report store for breaking street date
>Get three people fired.
>Fuck yes.

lolwow

bump :3

>Go to GoodWill
>My GoodWill sucks so I'm not expecting to find shit
>Find two 1998 Lord of the Rings figures MOC, the real cartoony looking ones from before the movie
>Meh. Don't really collect LOTR but they're a cool piece of history I guess
>Grab them, on the way to checkout
>See obvious LOTR collector holding a few movie figs and some Minas Tirith 3D puzzle
>Ask him if he noticed these guys
>Says no, looks real excited
>I give him the figs and make his day
>Stroll back around the store, find a kickass hardcover of the Odyssey in poem form, a copy of the Silmarillion that matches my copies of the Hobbit and LOTR, a complete and pristine copy of the Sims 2, and a sick pair of aviators, all for under 5 dollars plus feel awesome for the rest of the day
>MFW Karma

Not a mean story, but then I'm not the first to buck that trend.

bump

Stay classy /toy/.

sometimes it amazes me that /toy/ can have threads running for over two weeks

Did this get archived yet?

>>2345818

lol i dunno

personally, i hate little kids in the toy aisle. 9 times out of 10 they are in there just throwing shit all over the ground and tearing everything apart. Anything i buy goes into a nice collectors atmosphere, not to the mouth of some drooling idiot. Throw all these kids in a pit of fire for all i care, chances are the are going to grow up into brain dead idiots anyways.

>>2346709

pretty much this
couldnt have said it better myself

>couple days after X-Mas
>trolling the Isles of K-Mart with friend for sales on dollhouses, MLP, etc to mod
>see little girl staring forlornly at MLP setup.
>her mom calls her over- obviously poor and scrounging for food sales by look of cart
>sigh at friend, grab MLP Ponyville and Multi Pony pack... thing and go to Express
>lurk around outside, feeling like a creeper
>run up to little girl and mom as they leave, saying "excuse me, excuse me! Santa forgot to drop these off and wanted me to pass them along!"
>little girl shrieks and sobs and cries happy
>mom looks confused, then scared, then sad smiles and says to tell Santa bless him and thank you

>feel love and goodwill for all mankind for a good 30 minutes until I hear the next entitled screaming kid
>feels complicated bro

saged

ITT: child hating pedophiles

old thread needs to die

>>2348430
If people still have stuff to contribute, let them. Or would you rather see more sex toy threads?

>>2345818
http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

go here, insert url, hit vote, get archived

>archived

Nope.

Not gonna happen

FUCKING CUNTS
FUCKING CUNTS
FUCKING CUNTS
BAGS OF SHIT
BAGS OF SHIT
BAGS OF SHIT
FAGGOTS
FAGGOTS
FAGGOTS
SODOMY
SODOMY
SODOMY
QUEER BAITS
QUEER BAITS
QUEER BAITS

TIME TO SHIT

>>2348536
>>2348539

ITT:

sage general?

>>2348564

>>2348564
Is that Jin?

OP here.

Why don't you guys like my topic?

Ur all fukken ghey!!

Op here. You guys like my tattoo?

>>2348576

So much summer

>Quite a while back
>Little brother has to spend extended time in hospital
>He shares a room with another little boy
>Boy's mum comes in one night and complains how him being sick is a major inconvenience for her
>Feel sorry for the boy
>Go to a close by Shell station and buy some of their shell lego since it's night and shops are closed
>Give my bro a set with 2 cars and the other boy a set with one car
>mfw they forgot they were in hospital

>Hurrr
>Durrr
>Derp
>Derp derp derp
>Durrrr

congrats, this thread has been requested 4 times and will now be archived: http://chanarchive.org/4chan/toy/

This thread got archived

haters gonna hate

>>2346709
not all of them !!

some can be useful for cleaning your house, cooking, geting you a drink when you dont wanna get up or making your bed at night and lots of stuff im sure theres a whole list of stuff they could be useful for

>>2348384
im going to be sick !
you best be trolling

>>2348875

lol. That's not the real 4chan archive. That's some faggot shit web site nobody visits.

>>2350209
teh 'real' 4chan archive no longer takes requests

i love these stories because i hate children.