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gory motorcycle porn. Featuring spores.

An Internet in which Hating Someone To Death is genuinely possible.
You could be accused of hacking, and actually have a Choppa come at you through your phone line.

An internet in which having a grot pull your download faster by yanking on the wires would actually work.

My god.

>Yooz wuddnt download a trukk

>>16577596
OI YOOZ KANT TELL ME WOT I KAN AND KANNOT DOWNLOAD!

>>16577191
who says the don't...

>>16577611
YOOZ KILLIN DA MEK INDUSTRY

>>16577625
MAYBE DEY SHUD MAKE BETTA GUBBINS DEN! SO BOYZ KAN GET DEM!

Red modems and mob rule for shared wireless connections.
Also, mod rule. I'm sure there's a joke there somewhere.

>>16577639
>mod rule
The more mods you have the better it is

mmorpgs would be interesting.

Internet security would be people suspected of hacking and illegal activity getting shot at by their computer.

But the internet would be better.

quite obviously the louder your capslock the more damage you inflict.

And they'd gather to go on WAAAGH!s raiding sites they don't like, or when they're bored, or...

...wait.

wot da zog...wots dis youtube ting?

Hacking would be done with a literal choppa.

>>16577191
dat pic.
internet piracy will never be the same

Ork 4chan.

/a/, /v/ - YOOZ IS MUKKIN ABOOT
/tg/ - HERE BE NECK HAIRSQUIGS
/b/ - HEADBANGING PALOOZA, WIERD STUFF

If moot was the biggest warboss ever, although his horde utterly spontaneous generally effective when directed at a target.

DONT KOPY DAT DATASLATE

Not enouth.

It need more dakka.

oi lads, wut do yu fink would appen if doze umie boyz had internetz? cud you imagine?

Ork Shocksites

Picture of a lasgun and saying "DIS IS ENUFF DAKKA"

That and orks using spess elf teknologee. 2 Boyz 1 shuriken catapult.

>>16577755

YAH DIZGUZTIN' GIT!

>>16577732

/d/ - ENUFF WIV DA DICK SQUIGS!

I wonder what would a orky keyboard look like.

>>16577810

Any key shoots something.

Nah... who i'm kidding? every key shoots something that shoots everything.

>>16577810
it's probably just a piece or several pieces of scrap metal with crude letters and numbers painted on them. There are clear signs of stress and fracture, since orks just punch the keyboard and produce semi-coherent messages through the waaugh effect.

>>16577810
Very impact resistant, and contain multiple keys of the same letters, and sometimes a big red button or more keys.

>>16577751
Bloody gittery on land-speedahz. Wif pinkskin snotlin'z.

>>16577191
Everything would just look like the comments section of youtube.

Well, that or /b/ with less faggotry

>>16577751
'OO SAYZ DEY DON'T 'AVE IT?

Realistically, Orks would just turn it into a secondary Webway.

They'd see some other ork talking to them, go OI IF I CAN TALK TO DIS GIT WHY CANT I PUNCH 'IS BLOODY FACE IN, build a door to let him do so and presto

>>16577622
>>16577841
mother of god.jpg

>>16577596

Fucking.
Hilarious.

Also I wonder what the Orkz would have in place of Social Networking sites?

I smell epic coming. Someone archive this shit.

>>16577854

Waaghfinder.ork

hundred and five per. per.. puhrc.. ALL GITZ FIND YORZELF A WAAGH AND STOP MUKKING ABOOT

OY! IF I BUILT A DOOR IN DAH INTERNET DEN I COULD OPEN IT AN' PUNCH DAH GIT ON THA OTHER END!

Every single Twitter post would be variations on "Kiled sum jits" or "stil mukin abaut"

>>16577885
Ten dead Orks with Choppas in their heads - 'Akkount woz 'acked'.

>>16577885
Sure, until one Ork posts: WAAAAAAAAGH

For the next week, Twitter is only WAAAAAAAAAGH.

Remember that running joke where everyone else on 4chan is the same guy?

Gofff - Internet toughboyz
Badmoonz - Raiders on fighting juice
Deffskullz - ORIGINAL LOOT DO NOT LOOT
Blood Axes - ZOG YOU IM A 'UMIE!

>>16577901
Orks would probably actually think there was only one other Ork online.

>Ork version of /k/

Oi! Dis shoota 'as too many bitz stuck ta it! I ain't usin' no 'umie gun, dey ain't taktikal enuff - dey gots like da bitz stuck on what let 'em look at fings far away, and I know fer a fact dey don't put dem bitz on shootas like dat. I'm a propa shooty expert, so I knows dis. And anuffer thing, it ain't a clip, iz a magazine, and ya bloody grots keep gettin' it wrong.

>>16577902
>ORIGINAL LOOT DO NOT LOOT
Fuckin' A.

>>16577907
Some where, one very busy ork would be typing furiously.

>>16577901

WOTZ YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUZ GIT?

DIS GUY IS MUKKIN' ABOUT AMIRITE UZGOB?

>>16577902
Blood Axes would be like weaboos always posting stupid 'umie videos on orktube. Do you want an ork equivalent of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UqjvVaU7B4

>>16577902
>>16577921
>>Blood Axes - ZOG YOU IM A 'UMIE!

>>Mplyan Umie-a-booz iz reel Orkz
>>GREEN IZ BEST!

Instead of trolls, they'd have eldar impresonating as orks.

>IMPLYING GHAZGHULL ISN'T UMIE LOVER

http://omegle.com/
it's time to start the ork internet, you know what to do /tg/

>waz out krumpin' some 'umies wit my boiz
>Saw nother boss chekin' out me Boiz
>we WAAAAGH 'is 'umie lovin' ass
>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vxjmU66irpRcdqdtv

I play orks in tabletop if you couldn't guess.

I don't have the brain power to do this right now, but if someone wants to retool the "$20,000 Genuine Katana" meme template for a Choppa that'd probably be completely awesome.

>>16577958
>go lootin by me self
>see sum other boyz out lootin too
>deys ask why I aint gotz no boyz wif me
>spaghetti squig falls outta me pocket
>deyz looks at me funny and just walks away

>>16577902
Evil Sunz would be all about kustomizing their komputaz to run fasta.
Snakebites don't use internet, and see it as mukkking about.

>spaghetti squig

>>16577974
>go to fukken WAAAGH!stop fer sum gubbinz
>one boy is muckin about behind da counta
>about to say somefin
>spaghettisquig falls out of me pockets
>burst into a fit of raeg and clump its 'ead off with me choppa
>nobz come in an' start krumpin' me
>ev'ryone got on da floor an' did da squiggosaur

>>16577978

/g/ - INSTALL ZOGINTOO

HOWS MY KOMPUTA?

>>16577993
KRUMP ZYZTEM32

>>16577988
>>16577986
>>16577974

Kall me Git, but wot iz a Spaggeti squig?

>>16577972
It'd be '20,000 Teeth Kustom Shoota'

Avork anti virus.

VIRUS BEEN SMASHED GOOD BOSS!

>>16577999
>don't know wot a spaghettisquig is
>M41^998
>iseriouslyhopeyougitzdontdothat.goff

>>16577696

Keyboards would have double and triple caps.

Mekboys would be working frantically to develop keyboards with MORE CAPSLOKK!!

>/fa/
>LOOK AT ME FLASH BOYZ

>>16578008
Warboss Goff Krumpstanza

>>16578008
>iseriouslyhopeyougitzdontdothat.goff
>.goff
Okay that made me laugh.

>>16577908
Dat's it. I'z sick of all dis "Masterwork Shoota" squighite dat's goin' on in da WAAAGH! rioght now. Looted 'umie shootaz deserve loadz betta den that. Much, much betta den dat.

I should know wot I'z talkin' about. I meself commissioned a genuine 'umie shoota in da Imperium for 2,400,000 Thrones (dat's a whole gobload o' teef) and 'ave been practicin' wif it fer almost two yearz now. I can even shoot through slabs o' solid mekboy gubbinz wif me 'umie shoota.

'Umie mekboyz spend minutes workin' on a single shoota, an' smack it up to a million times to produce da finest shootas known ta orkkind.

'Umie shootaz iz three times as shooty as Ork shootaz and tree timez as blasty fer dat matter too. Anyfing an orky shoota can shoot through, an 'umie shoota can shoot through better. I'z pretty sure a 'umie shoota could easily blast in 'alf a ork wearin' full 'ardboy gubbinz wif a single blast o' dakka.

Ever wondah why da Orkz never bovvered conquerin' da Imperium? Dat's right, dey wuz too scared ta fight da disciplined Guardz-man an' dey lazgunz of destruction. Even in da sekund War fer Armurr-gedumm, Ork boyz targeted da gitz wif da lazguns first because dey killin' powah was feared an' respekted.

So wot iz I saying? 'Oomie shootaz iz simply da best dakka dat da 'ooniverse 'as ever seen, an' thus, require mo' respekt in da WAAAGH! Here is da block o' stee-tistics I propose for 'oomie shootaz:

ALL DA DAKKA
SO MUCH DAKKA
KILLIER
STABBIER
CHOPPIER
BLASTY AS ZOG
ENUFF DAKKA

Now dat seems a lot mo' representative of da shootin' power o' 'oomie shootaz in real liofe, don't ya fink?

Da short of it iz, 'umie shootaz need more respekt fer dey dakka.

would /v/ be the exact same as it is now?

>>16578028

>ENUFF DAKKA

YOU IMPLYIN' DAT YOU CAN GET NUFF DAKKA?

>>16578039

There would be more civilized discussion, I guess.

>>16578042
YA CAN WIF AN 'OOMIE SHOOTA, YA GIT! GO ZOG YASELF 'FORE I BLAST YA THROUGH DIS SERIES O' TUBEZ!

>>16578028
>>16578017

>>16578039
SHOOTA STATION 3 HAS NO DAKKA!
ENJOY YUR CASUAL SHOOTA!

What would the Gretchin do, I ask?

>>16578028
>yer implin' 'umies can 'ave enuff dakka

Oi, you ain't got no learnins' about shootas if ya fink 'umies know how ta build 'em. 'umie weapons use all dat stuff propa orky weapons ain't needin', like safeties and sights and all dat sorta rubbish. Dat means dey got less room fer da dakka, ya follow? 'UMIES CAN'T GET DAKKA COS THEY PUT ALL DIS OVVER SQUIG-SHIT ON DER SHOOTAS! Dey ain't go no finesse, is what I'm sayin'. If da 'umie guns are so bleedin' good, why's it dat all da orks use da shootas? 'umie guns break real easy, too. Dey ain't made to be used, dey's show weapons, cos 'umies are too soft fer a real WAAAAAGH.

I want to troll an ork.

/M/: MOBILL SOOT GARGANT WUZ BETTER THAN TENGORK TOPPA GORKANN MORKANN

>>16578070
I believe that would be eldaring an ork

>>16577810
Somefin like dis?

>>16578067
SHOWZ WOT YOU KNOW, YA IGNORANT XENO DUBBLE-HERETIC! DA DAKKA IZ ALL COMPRESSED FROM DA WHACKIN'! ORKZ CANNOT INTA GUBBINZ!

>ork computers
>processing power and such determined by the WAAAGH!
>bench all the latest games and whatnot by being super orky

>>16578079
DAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ENUFF O' YOU! YOU'S IN FOR A CRUMPIN', YA GROTLING-GRUBBIN' 'UMIE-LOVER! GET YOURSELF OVER 'ERE SO I'S CAN SHOW YA WHAT A REAL SHOOTA CAN DO! I BET YA'S NOT EVEN A PROPA ORK, YA SLIMY GRETCHIN!

>>16578090
Imagine a Comp-Sci Nob.
"Youse grots nevah 'erd ov Lin-Ux. Youse not smartz like I iz.
Youse still think therez only one colar ov Green."
*adjust tiny, tiny taped glasses*

>>16578092
NO! I IZN'T AN ORK! I'Z BETTA! I IZ AN 'OOMIE, BUT NOONE WILL BELIEVE ME!

IF ONLY DEY COULD LOOK IN DA MIRRA AN' SEE WOT I SEE... DEN, DEY'D WOT UNDASTAND...

Grot: YOUSED THERE'D BE WAAAGH
Mekboy Eggboy: It'z right here are ya blind stop shouting
Grot: WHEREZ DA WAAAGH EGG-BOY
Mekboy Eggboy: JUST GET STUCK IN YOU... YOU...
Mekboy Eggboy: DOUBLE HUMIE

on another occasion
Mekboy Eggboy to anuvva grot: SQUIG SNIFFIN' MUKK FENCE GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKSQUIGS

Archived
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16577191/

computers would never fail since orks believe in them...

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13738212/
It's been done

>>16578103
DAMN RIGHT YOU'S NOT AN ORK! YOU EN'T ONE O' DEM POINTY-EARED FELLAS WOT TRIES TA GET US ORKS MAD, IZ YA?

>>16578118
... Naaawrrr. Dat'd be silly.

Iz you madz?

GITS OR NEVER HAPPENED!

>>16578118
You err.. YOO SEEMZ TO BE A BIT POINTY EARED TOO! ALSO YOO IS A GIT AND A SQUIG LUVVA WHO UZES DE HUMMIE BAWKES FO DAKKA!

>>16578133
AGH! GET OFF ME COMPUTER YA POINTY EARED GIT!

ITT: People take the ork waaagh mind field thing a bit far

>They'd walk through the internet XDDD

Thats not how it works you faggots

What would happen if we gave internet and computers to the lizardmen?
>Implifying they don't already have

>>16578143
Ha ha. Stupid beast. You fall once more to the elegant dance of the Eldar. Wallow in rage and despair as we do.

You know... imagine an orky matrix. Would a computer manage to hold all that WAAAGH!?

>>16578146
/d/ would be Show Us Your Eggs.

>>16578145
>>zog me, e'z sayin NO FUN! Wot a git.

>>16578151
perpetual green screen of death.

I know if the Tau had the internet it'd be weaboo shit and ad spam all over the place.

>>16578150
IM GONNA KRUMP YA GUD, YA POINTY EARED SQUIG LICKA!

>>16578162
Webway communication doesn't work that way, spore.

>>16578150
bahahaha!
XD

Something very perfect about that riposte. Well played!

OY DUN BOVVER ME, I'Z LOOKIN AT LOLSQUIGS

>>16578158
Imagine if there was one internet that all the various races used, that'd be one hell of a place.

>>16578146

Lizardmen probably have the internet, they just think it's some sacred dimension of pure though created by the old ones that people can interact with through the proper rituals.

>OI IZ GOT ME ONE O DEM ORK MAILS
>ZOG IT, ANUVVA ONE OF THEM GORK DAMN DAKKA ENHANCEMENT ADS

>>16578185
The question is... what they would talk about? i suppose they will be all "You are a skaven" "no u" "no u" "no u" ad invinitum

>>16578190

Remember, the Slaan are like basement-dwelling internet denizens, except they're also the rulers of their society. They sit there getting fat and meditating on the plans of the Old Ones all day.

>>16578152
Since sex is semi-taboo in our society, and having in acount that lizardmen don't and can't have sex... how they can have a /d/eviant... they should have a /d/issection.

>>16578217
>Remember, the Slaan are like basement-dwelling internet denizens, except they're also the rulers of their society. They sit there getting fat and meditating on the plans of the Old Ones all day.
Read meditating of the old ones plans as
>Remember, the Slaan are like basement-dwelling internet denizens, except they're also the rulers of their society. They sit there getting fat and watching videos of funny dying skavens or chaos armies all day.

>>16578217
So really they'd have made a mass-user electronic warfare simulator called something like Warcraft of the Old World (WoW for short) and be obsessed with playing it to hone their tactics conquering various territories, cities, and "instances of theoretical threat" that'd be filled with particularly lethal enemies that'd require mass-cooperative tactics and resource use.

>>16578230
>>16578221
Brilliant!

>>16578237
And they play it with other mages? or just slanns and not "HB? HB?"

>>16578252

Pretty much only Slaan. Some of the High Elves are known to have telepathic contact with the Slaan, I think, as well.

>>16578277
I just imagined the High Elves as the classical "Br? br br br"
Or sexy elfs chats, and suddenly slann.

>>16578290
A/Lustria/10000 Y/old

>>16578290

Slaan would so be ridiculous prudes when it came to the internet. 'Get that porn off here smoothskin. We don't care about your mating rituals.'

https://join.me/760-049-475

Enjoy some ork art

>>16578312
All of my yes.
Instead of furfag they would have skin fags, and elves, scalies.

>>16578343
That's pretty decent orks, actually.

>>16578343
>>16577755

I'Z ORK
SON OVVA SQUIG HUMIE
HUMIE IS GROT
DUZ YOU WANNA WAAGH?
DUZ YOU WANNA WAAAAAAAAAAAGH?
HUMIE IS SQUIG DEESGUS... DIHSGU... SQUIG UGLY
KOMMISSAH YARRICK IS A GIT
ZOGGING EMPIYAH

>>16578568
OH ITZ ON NOW YA SQUIG PACKIN' GIT LAMP, WHY DON'T YA RIDE A TRUKK MADE OV DICKSQUIGS! WAAAAGGGGHHHHH

The bosses now grow bigger in proportion to how many friends they have on Waaaghbook.

>'E FINKS DERE AINT ORKZ ON DA KOMPOOTERZ

>laughingrotz.grk

The oly events on waaagh!!!book would be... well waaagh!!!s

>bez da smahtest grot in da bunch
>get stuck in with da boyz, but I'd rathuz be tinkerin with me dakka
>da warboss catch me eyin his big gunz
>forcez me and da gunz to dance togetha
>get nervuz
>b-back dat dakka up
>all da boyz laff
>pasta falls out me britches
>burst into squigbait

>>16578062
>Imployin's dah Grotsbox Free-sixtys gubbins ar flashy enuff an' dat shoota's arnt ovaheetd.
Yuz grots can injoys ya red muzzle of deff, I'm goin' tah me WAAAGH!!! wif a consul dat works.

Can we get an archive vote going?

>>16578106
>>16578111

ITZ DA BUGGIES! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oi! If der's any kompetent writeboy reading dis thread, howz about we get us an INTERWAAAGH! page on 1d4chan?

they will became trolls

RED internet fer speed

CamMeks.

Considering how the internet is a grasping void from which nothing can escape, by the grim darkness of the 42cd millenia da Orks would have been transformed into D'Orks.

>>16580132

Camboyz