ads

you insensitive clod, give a guy a chance, try something new!

That's pretty fucked up man.

>>In maths resit lesson, letting eyes wander around.
>>Two guys including me in class, about 15 girls
>> Stare dead ahead at girl across other table
>> She's drinking bottle of coke and she's smoking
>> Imagine bottle as penis
>> Make eye contact
>> Disrupt eye contact
>> Look back, she's still looking and drinking
>> Get boner and look away

Phew, good thing you missed your stop, it woulda been rape time otherwise.

>Walking down street
>Female jogger runs past and brushes my arm as she does so
>Wonder if she felt like I violated her by touching her
>She looks back briefly
>feel guilty

Nothing happened today since I've been home all day.

>dream about cursing out a poor Nigerian waiter to impress your girlfriend
>wake up and wonder where the fuck that came from

>>7743828
people can smoke in your maths class? whut? What kind of third world shit hole are you from? Turkey?

>come home from martial arts class
>about half an hour later dad walks by and says "did you use the front door earlier?"
>he didn't even realise I wasn't home

>>7743965
Smoking hot, you fucking moron

>>7743925
Wow, this completely made my day

>>7743965
>>7743983


Hahaha, fucking brilliant.

>>7743983
I think everyone reading that see it as she is smoking, as in smoking a cigarette.

>Called Psychologist's Office.
>Asked to speak with my Psychologist.
>He's busy with another client.
>Receptionist hangs up without saying "Good Bye".
>I say "Have a nice day." to a dead phone.

;__;

> approach guy I have a meeting with
> his friend tries to make small talk
> it's awkward because I have a cold so I sound croaky and I have to keep clearing my throat

>>7744038
you forgot

>go to /adv/ for emotional support
>Anhero responses

>sit right near the door
>teacher leaves the classroom
>another teacher comes by and asks me where teacher is
>i don't know
>oh well tell him to wait for me after class
>teacher comes back
>I can't get his attention
>people around me start staring

>see friends relaxing in hallway
>join them
>hot girl asks me to sit with her (she is lying down)
>I sit, she take my legs and puts them directly over her stomach, crotch
>move hands to prevent bonerfinding
>girl rubs legs
>fuck

>I'm in my room
>Girls in my corridor are talking
>I listen in and they're talking about some guy who they always see eat by himself at an exact time every day
>Realise they're talking about me
>Feels bad, man.

Also, yesterday:

>Say bye to friend
>Start walking away down a side-street
>Walk over a massive puddle of ice despite warm weather
>Slip around for about 2 seconds
>Land slapbang on thighs/ass
>Croissant I'm eating ruined
>Walk past the six or seven people walking the other way who saw everything

Nothing awkward has happened to me today, yet. But I did see an amazingly sexy milf today (and one yesterday) with just about the most perfect butt.

>>7744080
That first one made me lol, sorry.

>late hours in office
>think you are alone
>start singing to music, culminating in air guitar
>someone claps

>text girl I like
>"yo if you're not busy tonight you wanna get some coffee and chill?"
>response: "sorry I have a date with my bf :("
>heart sinks
>want to die

they fucking broke up a long time ago what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

>Get on a crowded bus
>Guy in front of me tries to get his backpack off
>He accidentally hits my face with his elbow
>Everyone saw it and they expect me to say something to the guy. I don't.
>I try not to touch my face for the rest of the ride even though it hurts a lot.

>>7744121
Maybe you should have:

1) Not used "yo" as an introduction phrase
2) Suggseted something else than coffee
3) Used the word relax, hangout, whatever, just something else than fucking "chill".

Enjoy getting laid.

>>7744080

I lol'd at the 2nd story.

>Sit in corner of cafe
>Browse through rape+murder thread on /b/
>Barely notice little girl moving to behind me
>Insta-boner

>>7744080
>croissant

Fag.

>geometry teacher announces she has breast cancer
>she will be undergoing chemotherapy for several weeks
>in the meantime we will have a substitute teacher
>she comments on how young and attractive new sub is
>next day, come in with a cool surfer-esque flow
>wear an ironed dress shirt, jeans, tie, dunks
>look awesome and strut into class
>substitute teacher is male
>"female sub wont be in for another week!!"
>my face

>>7744121

You sound like one of those Hispanic guys who has one of those dirty little mustaches.

>>7744080
I'm sorry. I felt myself blushing reading that. You must feel terrible. :(

>see someone from work at bus stop
>say hi
>walk by
>stand at bus stop a few meters away

http://www.screwyouamy.com/index.php?c=viral&m=index&id=28e933a81c3768589c89e885341edbb8

>>7743764

You should have gotten off at your stop OP.

Broadened your horizons a little.

If you know what I mean.

>Shy
>Force self to be more outgoing
>End up being annoying and acting a little like a weeaboo
>Go back to being shy
>Enjoy it
>Be more annoying
>Don't know what friends want
>Go home every day feeling bad about all the embarrassing, annoying shit I do

>sit in the back of the bus
>9 junior school girls sit all around me, one next to me
>I am wearing black
>they are pink
>people look at me
>they have a grin
>young girl next to me is rubbing my leg on hers
>I have a major boner
>pretend I'm their teacher

>walk home after classes
>cops assume I'm skipping high-school
>Junior in college

>>7744121
think about it: if she asked you out you would make up a lame excuse because you'd be nervous as fuck. it's the same story for her or maybe she had diareahohoea or something.

>>7744066
Nah, man, the follow up goes like this:

>Call back later.
>Get through to Psychologist.
>Reschedule appointment/reassure him I'm not suicidal.
>"Okay, see you Friday, then." *click*
>"Have a nice-- day..."

;___;

>>7744184
And by horizons, I mean anus.

>>7744171

Hah, at which one? Shit like this happens to me every minute of every day. I'm so used to it.

>>7744222

Damn, I feel sorry for you bro.

>Have presentation to do in Philosophy class.
>While doing presentation, start thinking it would be awkward if I accidentally said vagina.
>Repeat in head "don't say vagina" while doing the presentation.
>Accidentally say out loud "don't say vagina".
>Said vagina.

>In photo class
>teacher is really pissed and yelling at the class
>English is his second language
>class is full of mopheaded losers who bitch and moan all the time
>"Listen, I can't wait around for you to go hike in the fucking desert to see your shots. You need to take pictures even if it's something you find boring. AND THAT'S A PERIOD!"
>laugh out loud at his saying fail
>"what are you laughing at anon?!"
>oh umm.... it's just that.... your phrasing was strange.
>"Go out into the hall and collect yourself, come back when you feel like being a little more respectful"
If the robot logs manually deleted posts, then I am fucked.
Because I posted this in the wrong damn thread the first time.
shitshitshist

>talking to girl I got friendzoned by a long time ago
>talks about her new bf and stuff
>asks how my love life is going
>give honest answer and say I've been a member of a dating site for about 4 months and got fuck all from it
>make this face ( ._.)

>>7744198
i feel your pain bro. just be you and fuck everyone else, FUCK EM

>>7744250

Wot the fock?

>>7744250
Holy motherfucker, you made me lol. What happened later?

>>7744080
And this is why I usually skip lunch and eat later, when there aren't many people around.

>Work with a bunch of (mostly attractive) girls, only guy on shift 99% of the time
>dislike them all, except for the one that's 16
>never before have i wished to be back in highschool :/

>>7744250
I LAUGHED SO HARD, feels bad man

>"heyyoulooklikerobertpattinsontwilight"
>"hey bro can you give me hair tips?"
>cerealguy.jpg

Every fucking time.

>Girl is having relationship problems and feels lonely
>wants to hang out at my place
>Comes over and realize my room is fucking messy
>girl is grossed out by old chicken bones
>play COD:MW2 with girl
>she borrows a movie
>she leaves

>>7744249
Ahaha, thanks bro.

>Attractive girl looks you
>Immediately go away
>Phew, I would have probably pissed my pants if she looked any longer

>>7744296

You got to look at it this way though, if they don't say goodbye and immediately hang up the phone they're being anti-social, and frankly they're being dicks.

>on bus reading A Game of Thrones
>"corny ass white boi readin gay shit"
>look at the two black girls
>"he know it aint bout to pop off"
>look down at the book again
>"that's a good white boi"

>Wait outside the hospital in my car
>Spot a mentally sick man dancing naked in front of a window in plain sight for everyone that walks on the street
>Quickly look away
>Stare at BMW in front of me
>Realize a few minutes later someone in that car is staring back at me
>Sink sloooooowly down into my seat...

>Cute girl that I'm kind of interesting in comes up to me
>Says she has an embarrassing question
>Get excited, tell her to go ahead and ask
>Asks if I'm single
>Get more excited, tell her that I am
>She mentions that her friend is interested in me
>Heart fucking sinks
>Ask who
>One of her more annoying friends
>Heart sinks more
>Afraid to say no because it will make her think I'm a jerk
>Lock up
>She asks if I'm interested
>I decide to go ahead and say no
>She says "Oh, good. Well, just wanted to know. Later."
>I have no idea what just fucking happened
>Realize that I will never understand women

>>7744342

They're just jealous that you know how to read, man.

>>7744287
A few guys in the back of the class laughed. The teacher didn't say anything because he probably figured I was just really nervous.

>>7744342

Has EBG taught you nothing

>>7744357

Well, you did the right thing bro. No need to lie just to not sound like a dick, because you are not being a dick by saying you're not interested in someone.

>>7744342

This one made me lol. Sucks, man. But hey, what do you expect from black chicks?

>>7744222
You could call me anytime anon =]

>>7744350
ahahha that is funny. I've done that before. I stare into a fucking window... just because to get a look at what's inside... sometimes its interesting. Few times I just point blank stared at someone for a good 20 seconds before I realize "oh fuck someone in there".

>>7744320
That's true, I guess. I've always done the whole "Have a nice day", "Beg your pardon", "Good Afternoon/evening/night" thing, so it puzzles me when service people (like the receptionist) have such poor manners. Just kind of looks bad for everyone involved on their end, at least.
>>7744388
Thanks, anon. :)

>so awkward can bearly manage to reply to a thread
>get the courage to
>reply to thread
>hope someone quoted me
>realized I was the last person to post before it died
>feel like crying

>>7744350
JAVLAR NIKLAS. CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

>>7744448
Ah, I hate it when this happens. It's alright bro, happens to everyone.

>>7744448
I know the feeling bro.
>realise how sad it is that I recognise that feeling

>>7744342
>>"he know it aint bout to pop off"
What does this mean? lol

>>7744463
>>7744462
>>7744448
If it's at all reassuring, I bet just about everyone who posts on 4chan regularly has probably killed a few threads.
It still hurts when it happens, though, haha.

>get slapped by a girl
>didn't hit her in the face

>>7744136
Girls don't actually care about this.

>Sitting in the corner of the library studying
>Realize I'm cold
>Put my hood on
>get bored, start browsing /r9k/
>read through this thread
>realize that it would be inappropriate to laugh in the library
>everything is suddenly 10 times funnier

>girl in my class is giving presentation, admits to clinical case of self harm, talks about exercise as form of therapy
>"i had an exercise bike in my room which i rode every night, but it wasnt getting me anywhere"
>spend next 10 mins trying to fight off laughter

>>Walking out of classroom, hand sticking out
>>Accidentally touch instructor's ass
>>I turn fearfully
>>He smiles
>>I scuttle out

>in class examining "The Great Bathers" by Renoir
>"alright class, this is all very illuminating but i was hoping we could get a male perspective"
>I look expectantly at the only other guy in the class
>I look at him for six seconds
>On the sixth second...
>I realize he is gay
>Bricks are being SHAT

>>7744491
I laughed heartily.
Awesome.

>>7744357
If she said "Oh good" she was obviously using her friend as a ruse to avoid embarassment. She wants you bro.

>>7744491

LOL shit. that made me giggle wildly for a few seconds.

Fuck, that kind of stuff happens to me all the time - the teacher says something funny and I'm the only one to laugh and I spend a minute looking crazy trying to remain calm.

>walk towards home late at night
>black guy comes up to me with a knife
>threatens to kill me if i don't give him a piggyback ride home
>don't want to get killed and raped, so agree
>drop him off at his house
>he kisses me on the cheeks and says he can't wait for our date tomorrow

>>7744490
Shit. I forgot the punchline.
>I probably look like a junkie.
>failureblox

>>7744448
Here you go, anon.

Quotingsadanonblox

>at court trial
>almost everyone I know is there
>didn't have breakfast
>faint in front of the entire court
>stumble outside and into the park
>faint again
>wake up at night, in the rain and on a bench

>reply to someone in this thread
>get muted for 25 mins
>fuck
>finally get to post and the original poster is long gone.

>>7744570
If everyone you know was there, how did they just let you faint on a bench? I lol'd regardless.

>>7744132
>>7744132
>>7744132
LOL'd SO HARD.

>>7744599

I woke up in court surrounded by them, demanded I was fine and awkwardly walked out. They continued the trial, I went outside to the park.
Oh, such a day.
Whoever moved me onto a bench also stole all of the money in my pockets.

>be in middle school
>sit quietly in corner, finish work early, read harry potter
>black girls keep talking
>tell them to quiet down so you can read
>they flip shits, ignore their babbling
>one walks up and smacks book from my hand
>calmly get up from chair, lift it, spin around to gain momentum and slam her face with the back rest
>she is knocked out cold
>nothing happens to me since I'm white and priveledged
I_am_ok_with_this.jpg

today was an awkward day...just like almost everyday.
basically goes like so
>constantly think about having awesome convo with someone
>someone strikes a convo
>think too hard about to say, times up
>mumble some pointless reply

and today
>begin presentation
>realize that everyone is actually listening to me
> mid sentence, mind blank,
>stand, staring up, with mouth wide open for a few seconds

>move to different desk for partner activity
>try sit down
>ass crack lands on back of chair
>try to play it off by laughing
>give female partner a creepy smirk

>>7744198
Yup, that's me. I became a right little shit in my sad attempt to be more popular/get more attention from my, frankly rather lame, band of friends.

Eh. Motherfuckers abandoned me in end when I couldn't get served in pubs/bars. Faggots.

>Go outside for a walk
>Woman walks her dog
>Dog apparently really hates me
>Starts barking and charging at me
>Woman says that he's all right
>I get scared nevertheless as the dog is about 10 feet from me and still charging
>I have my mace ready in hand and pointed at the dog
>I say "Don't come closer motherfucker."
>Dog stops
>Woman gets him
>Woman gives me a dirty look (like I'm some sort of a monster) and avoids coming in my direction

>>7744472
negroblox
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pop+off

>>7744645
Are you a girl? I ask because if you had been a guy, I'm sure they would have flipped 10 times more crazy. And if you were a girl it would make it more fucking awesome.

>>7744342

What the fuck? You best be trollin. Call them shitskins next time for proper defense.

>>7744689
You're not making any sense

>>7744671
I don't try to impress the 'cool people'. I just want to impress my friends and no one else.

Cool people here are the pregnant girls

These happened yesterday at work... Nothing awkward happened today, though, thank goodness.

>Go to fitting rooms
>realize one door is closed
>knock on door
>no response
>open door
>man trying on pants
>apologize and shut door
>don't look at man when he leaves

>chat with co worker
>he admits he's gay, though very subtle
>realize friendliness has been flirting this whole time
>he bluntly asks if I am too because he's unsure
>I say that I'm straight
>he's clearly disappointed, I feel bad
>however, confidence boost does occur
>Yay me!

>>7744689
if he's skinny, and you're the same size, that means you're skinny, right?

>go out for a smoke
>woman does an obviously fake cough as she walks by

the only time I left the house was for a cigarette ;_;

>>7744721
No. No.
Once you get them started they will NEVER shut up. They will follow you around and keep yelling. No amount of patience, logic or calmness can get them to stop yelling for even a second. And unfortunately, I speak from experience.

>>7744754

Exactly. I mean, it's his fault...

>>7744588
25min mute indicates that you are both posting too much and that you are shitposting.

D-

Must improve.

>>7744759

Spit in their face then, or kick the shit out of them. Then hope you don't get arrested.

Issue resolved.

>In middle school
>Weeaboo
>Ugly, chubby, and doesn't wash hair right
>Has a crush on a friend
>Friend doesn't like me much and only talks to me when she isn't busy
>I'm a girl also
>I tell her that I like her and laugh it off
>Realize I don't like her and I just want to be better friends with her
>Try to tell her I didn't mean it
>She doesn't awknowledge my existance

>>7744754
Women's waists cinch/dip far more, Men's waists run straighter.

>>7743764

OP doesn't know anal sex feels so great.

>finally chats with older brother
>talk and keep up a nice conversation about bioshock 2
>pretended to understand the storyline even tough ive never tried the game
>start thinking about keeping eye contact
>freak out
>get awkward

>>7744759
>they
>they as in black girls?
>THATS_RACIST.png
>Shit. Racism isn't coo-
>4chan

>>7744759

>They will follow you around and keep yelling. No amount of patience, logic or calmness can get them to stop yelling for even a second.

Sounds alot like a...MONKEY.

Gee what a wonder that correlation is?

>>7744761
So, let me get this straight.

You're blaming your eating disorder/body image issues on your boyfriend?

Way to go. Yep. That's totally how you should go through life. Blaming other people for your own perception issues and the fact that you choose to pursue them as though they were accurate representations of reality despite the fact that you're clearly aware of the reality of your situation.

>>7744780

I always imagined it would be like taking a huge shit, amiright?

>>7744756
You should have put out your cigarette in her eye. I am against smoking, but I fucking hate overly pretentious, wanna be-witty, prepotent, arrogant fucktards.

>>7744797
That wasn't me. I remembered that I was being retarded, and deleted the post.

Someone else replied.

>>7744774
no, that's because women's hips are wider and create that effect

>Go to exercise class
>Stare at one girl the entire time
>She turns around, stare at her ass
>She's looking forward, stare at her face
>Look away occasionally

For some reason, no one notices I look at her. I have no fucking clue why, I make it so obvious.

>>7744814
Ah, I had a feeling that the posting style was different but didn't have the original to compare to, so I just went with it.

Sorry 'bout that.

>>7744804
From now on I will always do an obvious fake cough whenever I walk past smoking people.

>play tennis
>go to serve the ball, miss completely
>three times in a row

>>7744756
>>7744756
>go to the bus stop
>light a cig and wait
>two cunts standing near loudly complain about smoke
>Doesn't want to put it out now due to attention
>No longer want to smoke
>......kill me now....

>sit alone at senior highschool basketball game mom forced me to go to (thinking i had friends)
>all seats taken, sit on the edge of one of the highest steps, go on 4chan on my iPod touch
>girl perpendicular to me keeps telling me to move to make room for her dumbass friends
>"Look, cunt, I'm not moving for you or your fake, bitchy friends, so shut the fuck up before I give you a second mouth."
>girl starts crying and tells her boyfriend
>i hear her boyfriend yelling "WHAT THE FUCK, WHO WHO"
>she points at me
>me: 6'3" 210lbs
>him: ~5'11 170lbs
>he sheepishly smiles and asks me to sit with him and his bros

>>7744838

sooner or later you will get a cigarette put out in your eye.

>>7744834
dont worry anon, they notice.

>finish paying for items at checkout
>settle on saying "cheers" as a 'farewell'
>change mind at last minute and attempt to say "thanks"
>look cashier right in the eye and say "Chinks"
>leave quickly.

>>7744873

Dude, you're awesome! High five, broheim.

>>7744899
Only one person's noticed, and that's because of the way I was looking at her when he was right next to me. That and she was bending over, I was her partner for something.

>>7744873
Push him down the bleachers and fuck his girl

>>7744873

Raw story, bro.

Brofist.

>>7744834
o god the memories of senior year aerobics.
4 dudes and like 15+ girls. only like 3-5 are good looking.
DATASS.jpg

>>7744873
>>7744873
Hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll yeah, motherfucker, /fit/ is awesome

>>7744873
lol was he muscular? Because 170 lbs for 5'11 is pretty fucking heavy, and if he's muscle then god help you if he had a temper. It wouldn'tve been fun for either of you.

-do a favor
-expect to be home in about 30 min tops
-dinner
-booze
-talk

>went to extremely rich and white part of town and walked around
>dressed middle class with friend
>stared at for 2 hours

sorry I didn't have a pink polo on with plaid shorts.

>>7744985
I don't remember well, it was about 2 years ago, but I was obviously stronger than him. He was pretty buff himself actually.

>In the corridor waiting for a class to leave so I can get my seat.
>Sitting on a seat.
>Stretch my arms so now my right hand is in the "holding an apple position.
>Hot chick goes to sit down.
>She's wearing tights.
>Fingers go into he vag, not all the way, tights permitting.\
>She looks at me.
>Go "oh shit, that's a one in a million shot"
>Talk to her for 15 minutes.
>Go to class with her.

>Going on date this saturday. Going kayaking on a river, shit's awesome.

>>7744491
I like this post.

>>7744985
170 lbs isn't that crazy for being 5'11. I'm strong as fuck, but not that muscular, and I'm the same height/weight.

>>7745038
Hahah! Thank you for highlighting this!

>on bus
>slowly stroking pants because hot girl is sitting next to me
>she sees
>get embarrassed
>she gets up
>jizz
>she looks at wet spot on pants
>look out window innocently

>group work in college
>look at girl in groups chest a number of times
>group work finishes
>guy from my group who I dont really know comes up after and goes "dude I saw you looking at *girls names* tits. NICE." Raises hand in the air for five

>>7745061
No, 170 is way past the norm. The norms about 150 if memory serves me correctly. What's your body fat % if you know?

>working on my laptop in class, need teacher's help, he says he'll be there in a minute
>I browse 4chan until he is there
>barely clothed underage girls thread
>teacher is right behind me, obviously looking at my screen
>close browser quickly
>feelsbadman.jpg

>>7744940
so all you do is stare at tha tgirl in your class?

>>7745072
that guy sounds like a fucking bro. you should chill w/ him.

>>7745080
Lol'd.

>mutebloxmuteblox

>>7744132

>You should kick him into blood pulp

>>7744926
I wordmeld all the time. It's so fucking annoying. Let me top you, though.

>At the doctors
>Doctor is flamboyantly gay
>Discussing my recent trip to Italy
>He asks what cities I visited
>Think about mentioning Pisa and Venice
>"Penis."
>Doctor just nods.

>>7745074
I've got a six pack.

>wake up and realize scented stick deodorant is for little boys
>go to /fa/ and ask about cologne
>only one scent recommendation posted with a non-stock photo
>figure that he's the only one who actually owns said scent they're recommending.
>warned that it's a tad feminine
>go to store
>try it and like it
>purchase
>put it on
>get on the metro
>worry that I put too much on
>worry that it smells too feminine
>worry that I'm a faggot for buying cologne
>worry about worrying to much.
>worry that this is the worst post in this thread.

>>7744158

>croissant

>Fag.

What? It's delicious.

>>7745118

Ahahaha brilliant work there anon. I'm sure he's looking forward to your next visit.

>>7745065
What th-

Motherfucker.

>>7745082
Yeah, pretty much. I really wish I had the balls to make a move or at least talk to her, but I don't unless I have an excuse (like being her partner). So I highly doubt anything will happen.

In the meantime, I just datass the entire class.

>>7745118
hahah! I'll give you that...

>>7744157

>Sit in corner of cafe
>Browse through rape+murder thread on /b/
>Barely notice little girl moving to behind me
>Insta-boner

This is why channers should not leave their place in the day.

>>7745121
Pic then. Bullshit you can't take a 6'3 201 lb man if you're truly 5'11 170 lbs.

>go to subway
>make thread about how their toaster is broken
>instead of asking my girlfriend to heat it up, I decide I want to be a man and I tell her to.
>she quickly complies in a very subbmissive way
>bring me my food
>its burnt
>"I'm sorry anon. I think I left it in to long."
>"What the fuck is this. Heres some money, get me another and do it right this time. Thanks"
>Girlfriend gets tears in her eyes and yells "fuck you, you fucking jerk" and leaves, slamming the door.
>dunno what to do now lol
>she'll probably come back later
>i'm still hungry and eat the barely burnt one anyway

>Work in a relatively new, 6 person investment managing firm
>Have a business consultant in the office to help with inefficiencies
>Accidentally grab a document consultant left in printer
>Deduce that my coworker's job is probably getting outsourced

>>7745168

Feels good, man.

I did manage to tab away from it before her, or her creepy-old-guy had a chance to see what I was looking at.

>>7745129
Purchase aqua di gio.

Wear it.

Instant vaginal fluids running on a 15m ratio around you.

What the fuck is up with you people getting boners constantly? Are you going through puberty or some shit?

>>7745179
Either 1/10 or 10/10 really not sure.

>>7745179
>realise everyone that ever talks to you yawns.

>>7745118

He clearly wanted a visa to your penis

>>7744873
>>7744873
>>7744873
Sounds like someone is living in fantasy land...

>>7745170
6'3 210 lbs is a bit larger in ratio than 5'11 170 lbs,

>>7745199
fappen 2 much

>>7744651
so much fail so finely condensed
>>7745129
ye pretty much. about on par with>>7745080

>>7745171
Ohhhh I am loling at this quite a lot

>>7745171
lmfao. repressed sexism much?

>>7745199

I'm too old for puberty, but I am a sexually psychotic individual.

>>7745171
I fucking lol'd at making her get another one

>Left the apartment.

>>7745227
Not by much. I suppose if you had no idea how to fight, the difference would be noticeable (maybe), but if you do sort of have an idea it should be negligible at that weight. Unless you're going against a behemoth, like Ronnie Coleman, you shouldn't have any major problems.

>>7744773
roooooosie????

>>7744651
You sound like me

>Puts fist in the air for brofist but you don't realize, so you put the fist in the air after a few seconds, right when I am putting it down
>I put it up and you put it down
>Awkward silence

OP, I've never been in an awkward situation.

It's a passive buff we attractive people get.

It's like, a +50bajillion% charisma modifier, dawg.

>>7745279
>look up Ronnie Coleman
>5'11
>330 lbs., not fat at all
>WTF

>>7745235
'Yeah pretty much' what?

>>7745279
170 5'11 is like 23 bmi and 210 6'3 is like 26.5. It's a pretty big difference, and the bigger guy will have better reach and be harder to take down.

>>7744213

>cops assume I'm skipping high-school

Oh wow, why should someone care about mundane things like this?

>>7745345
pigs man, they're not people, they're fuckin' pigs

>>7745337
I hope we aren't forgetting something here.

Crazy beats big every time.

>>7745337
A punch by either of those guys will hurt like fuck. That's the point I'm trying to make. Neither of them could withstand each other for long, despite one being a tad more powerful than the other.

>>7744250

>Have presentation to do in Philosophy class.
>While doing presentation, start thinking it would be awkward if I accidentally said vagina.
>Repeat in head "don't say vagina" while doing the presentation.
>Accidentally say out loud "don't say vagina".
>Said vagina.

What kind of people have mindset like that? Oh wai- i'm on 4chan

>>7745352
Judging by the post I think we know who the crazy one was

>>7745353
Either of those weights don't automatically mean they're strong. They could be not strong and not fat at that weight.

>>7745320
worst post evar

>>7745293
wow we sure are.
same thing happened a few days ago..

>Reading this thread, nothing awkward happened yet today
>Suddenly get that "Do I have to fart, or diarrhea?" feeling
>Ran to bathroom and unloaded
>Bathroom smells nice, like mints
>Bathroom no longer smells nice, like rotten eggs
>Start feeling sick to my stomach
>Finish wiping
>MORE DIARRHEA
>Ass BURNS!!
>Wipe again, tiolet paper is blood mixed with shit
>Thinking about making this post the entire time this is happening because of the sheer irony

>>7744295

>Girl is having relationship problems and feels lonely

>feels lonely

Stopped reading there

>>7745412
Because women can't have relationship problems? Can't be lonely? Derpderp?

>>7745199
>>7745199
Accidentally brushing against someone is the only human contact they get so naturally they freak out overreatcting/get a boner.

>Getting interview by Psych student about sexuality.
>Psych student has beautiful tits/low cut shirt
>Get distracted trying not to look at tits
>Wonder if this is all planned as part of the survey.
>Mumble/avoid eye contact rest of interview

>>7745402
Oh my god i can't stop laughing at this, it's so amazing.

>>7745436
It probably was part of it.

>Running at the gym
>Favorite song comes on
>Start fist pumping as I run
>Get weird look from cute girl on other side of gym
>Keep fist pimping
>No regrets

>>7745436
that made me feel awkward..too much info
>>7745402
she now knows so much about you. dam psyche students can see right through you.

>>7745436
It was. Certain psych students are sociopathic, cunning individuals who are constantly looking for ways to screw with your mind.

>>Find someone at the mall
>>Say hi, talk about life, say goodbye
>>You find him later about three more times
>>Awkward as fuck

>School truancy officer is in the library
>He's a large black man
>Start hearing "THEY CALL HIM BAWSSS...BAWSS NIG-GUH!" in my head
>Look up Boss Nigger on Wikipedia
>Looks up to see him reading over my shoulder
>Put on my trollface and quickly close the browser window

>get one inch lifts in shoes
>Stomp around hall like a dinosaur cos I'm so giant
>Fellow student opens his door and sees me

>Friend of mine has been trying to set me up with one of her friends for a while
>Finally gets a chance to introduce us
>We have what seems to me to be a mutually enjoyable conversation
>I end up walking her to class, then going to my own class on the opposite side of campus
>"Well, I'm not sure if I was really supposed to do that last bit or not, but I'm not going to worry about it."
>Afterward I'm walking back to my dorm
>Pass her on the path
>Smile and wave in a friendly fashion, thinking "hey, I didn't I just see you two hours ago? :)"
>She either doesn't see me or chooses not to respond, keeps on walking
>"I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT"

>sat outside the lecture hall reading a book (american psycho)
>a guide and a group of prospective students walk past.
>the guide saw me give a presentation on the Royal Navy last week.
>He asks me if the book I am reading is about the RN to show off he has friends
>I say "no."
>He wavers
>I get back to my book.

>read >>7744250
>can't stop laughing
>realise it's 1AM and everyone is sleeping

also,

>try to grab chair
>accidentically grab girl's ass instead
>don't notice it's her ass and try to grab firmer so it moves (I'm not even making this up)
>girl ask why I'm rubbing her ass
>tell her I thought she was a chair
>she nods

>>7745546
Wow, you're a cunt.

>girl comes in to seminar
>ask her if she's had a haircut
>realise you've never noticed her that much before but suddenly find her attractive
>Too late to add that I thought the haircut looked nice

>>7745523
>Smile and wave in a friendly fashion

Why do imagine a goofy jim carrey waving?...

>>7745562
Well, we've all been there.

>>7745562
Nods as in sarcastically or as in "oh, okay. Happened before"?

If it's the second one, tap that.

>>7745583
God damn it STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME!

>>7745523
;_;

fblod bloxxxx

>>7744491

>girl in my class is giving presentation, admits to clinical case of self harm, talks about exercise as form of therapy
>"i had an exercise bike in my room which i rode every night, but it wasnt getting me anywhere"
>spend next 10 mins trying to fight off laughter

10/10 Either she did not realized it, or it was masterfull troll-fu

>>7744250

Hahahahahashahahaha. Oh Wow.

>>7744494

>>Walking out of classroom, hand sticking out
>>Accidentally touch instructor's ass
>>I turn fearfully
>>He smiles
>>I scuttle out

You are saying it like it's some problem.

>with friend who studies german in laundry room
>Make jokes about germany
>Foreign students from my floor come in and I say 'hi'
>Keep making jokes about germany
>They later leave
>Friend tells me they were German

I thought they were Italian!!!!!

archive this on 4chanarchive someone! I already have done one request

>>7745562
lmfao. WHO DOES THIS?
srsly how did you not notice that squishy ass=!=hard chair? did she have a bony ass?

>>7744570

>at court trial

True anon would never attend court unless it's in his personal selfish interest.

>>7745583
cuz thats what you and OP was conditioned to think friendly waving was supposed to look like. fyi its creepy as hell to a stranger.

>>7744720

>Are you a girl? I ask because if you had been a guy, I'm sure they would have flipped 10 times more crazy. And if you were a girl it would make it more fucking awesome.

Guy has privilege for doing so in such situation. Being black is just - point for them.

>>7745674
>True anon

>Lame overly pretentious "I'M SO HARDCOAR" bullshit after that.

15 year old detected. Get the fuck out.

>>7744662

>ass crack lands on back of chair

I have no idea what you are talking about

>standing outside gamestop
>wonder why I have no money to buy games
>don't even want to look around inside
>whip out my last cigarette
>smoke the whole thing
>head buzz
>walk inside all dizzy
>sit down in one front of one of the games racks
>manager tells me to leave
>cant get up, might get sick all over the place
>manager calls for assistance to get me up off my fat ass
>they get me up, getting sicker by the second
>approaching the cashier, about to heave
>start hurling all over the floor in front of two other people
>make a conscious effort to get behind the cashier
>cashier freaks the fuck out, manager still trying to hold me back
>still spewing all over the store
>manager is yelling for help
>still fucking spewing, regretting eating all those fucking noodles at this point
>drank too much too
>I finally let go of the counter, manager and that other employee finally manage to get me outside the store
>get manhandled outside, wrestled and thrown onto the sidewalk
>manager goes back in, employee follows after a minute, cant handle the stench radiating off my body
>cop sirens approaching
>struggle to get up, head still spinning
>make my way to the back alley
>hide under a stack of cardboard boxes and newspapers
>hear footsteps a few minutes later, yelling, cant make it out
>silence for a few minutes
>start barfing again under all this pile of paper and shit
>it wasnt even a cigarette, it was my last joint

>Stop by student lounge
>5-6 acquaintances are chatting
>Ask if anyone would join me in going to a public lecture
>Ignored
>Go to lecture alone
>4chan

>>7745740
This is still the most bizarre copy-pasta I've ever seen.

Stale, but bizarre.

>>7745740

you sir, are truly living life to the fullest

>>7744759

>Once you get them started they will NEVER shut up. They will follow you around and keep yelling. No amount of patience, logic or calmness can get them to stop yelling for even a second. And unfortunately, I speak from experience.

I always show them my revolver in cases such as this. They obviously know meaning of weapons from their home ghettos.

>>7744735

>Go to fitting rooms
>realize one door is closed
>knock on door
>no response
>open door
>man trying on pants
>apologize and shut door
>don't look at man when he leaves

>chat with co worker
>he admits he's gay, though very subtle
>realize friendliness has been flirting this whole time
>he bluntly asks if I am too because he's unsure
>I say that I'm straight
>he's clearly disappointed, I feel bad
>however, confidence boost does occur
>Yay me!

You should just switch, you know ...

>>7744868

>go to the bus stop
>light a cig and wait
>two cunts standing near loudly complain about smoke
>Doesn't want to put it out now due to attention
>No longer want to smoke
>......kill me now....

You should be more tolerant towards others. Not everyone is fond of nicotine and other similar shit containing puffs.

>Watch "Stylo" on repeat for a couple hours last night
> Go into class and not pay attention
>Stylo stuck in my head, start singing it in my head
>10 minutes later, I'm full on singing and not even realizing it
>Friend bops me in the back, I realize what happened
>slink into my seat
>Stylo still stuck in my head

>walking to class
>guy hands me a flier for a party
>throw flier in trash 5 feet away
>miss trash can
>flier floats down to the guy handing them out, lands on his feet
:|

>>7744803

>I always imagined it would be like taking a huge shit, amiright?

Actually no, that are is quite sensitive for stimulation. Taking shit have nothing to do with that.

>>7745842
kill the trawl with fire!

>>7745875
>that are is

what

>>7744844

>play tennis
>go to serve the ball, miss completely
>three times in a row

Are you woman or 12?

>>7745855

Can you help it that IF IT'S LOVE IT'S ELECTRIC

>went on /r9k/
>made me feel worse about my situation
>mental block

>Someone says "hi" to me for the first time in weeks
>All I say back is "Oh."
>Keep walking as a few tears appear, knowing I will never have a friend...

>>7745740
I pictured you as Comic Book Guy whilst reading this

>>7745855

almost the exact same thing happened to me, but no on bopped me on the head........

assholefriendsblox

>See cute girl
>Two daydreams occur simultaneously
>The first is where we are in this wonderful, fun relationship where we can mock each other a bit and wake up each night in the other's room
>The second is me going on dates with her and getting worried prior to the date and after the date over every little thing and being too awkward to be the romantic I want to be
>Feel upset because second is probably closer to reality when it comes to me

>>7744985

>lol was he muscular? Because 170 lbs for 5'11 is pretty fucking heavy, and if he's muscle then god help you if he had a temper. It wouldn'tve been fun for either of you.

Keep thinking that

i think this thread needs to be archived

>Get on bus, sit in favourite seat
>Guy is sitting across from me
>He's staring at me the whole time
>I avoid eye contact
>I get off the bus
>I notice he gets off at the same stop
>Go into grocery store
>He goes into grocery store as well
>Walk really fast, GTFO of there
>Keep checking over my shoulder for him on the way home
>Turn the corner, there's a man turning too
>Scream and drop my groceries
>He gives me an odd look and keeps walking
>.__.

>german teacher returns from being sick or sometn
>she has a weird eye
>tells us she had an operation and has a glass eye
>friend starts making jokes about her eye
>pops a big one
>lol so fucking much
>feel embarrased as everyone is looking at me
>lol even harder
>stop for 2 seconds
>look at friends red face whos trying to hold back his laugh
>lols break out
>have to leave class because shit is so damn funny
>keep making jokes
>laugh outside for 5 minutes
>apparently everyone heard it
>principal
>change german class

>>7745065

>on bus
>slowly stroking pants because hot girl is sitting next to me
>she sees
>get embarrassed
>she gets up
>jizz
>she looks at wet spot on pants
>look out window innocently

I remember fapping to 13 years old guys in bed while being also in bed under blankets. I can't still top you.

>sitting in class
>empty seat between me and hot girl
>I put my feet up on the empty seat
>start tapping my feet against the desk
>zone out for an hour
>go to get up to leave
>realize I wasn't tapping the desk, but the hot girl's feet
>she smiles at me, we exchange phone numbers
>sitting here, pondering "the fuck?"

>>7745080

>working on my laptop in class, need teacher's help, he says he'll be there in a minute
>I browse 4chan until he is there
>barely clothed underage girls thread
>teacher is right behind me, obviously looking at my screen
>close browser quickly
>feelsbadman.jpg

Just ask him if he's channer too.

>>7746069
winner is you!

>Go to a bathroom at my uni.
>Have to take a shit real bad
>Open a bathroom door
>There's a terrified Indian guy shitting in there
>Awkward
>Say "Sorry" and quickly get the fuck out of the bathroom.
>Get up on the second floor bathroom.
>Shit in peace
>Feels good
>Hope that you never run into that Indian guy ever again

someone please archive this thread

>>7744985

>if he's muscle

I CANT

HES MUSCLE

>>7746196
LMAO
It would be even better if this was posted on /fit/.

this happened last week

>daytime, 3pm
>gotta blow a lode
>watch porn
>ready to masturbate
>stand up, pull out the dick
>fapfappfaafpfap
>cum
>oh shit forgot to close curtains, lost in the moment i was
>loook outside
>neighbour watching

fuck, she propably saw the whole fucking thing

ARCHIVE PL0X

>Wear black wintercoat
>Feel like a huge pedofile

>Coming out of my 2nd floor class after the rest of the class has left
>Go to water fountain and get annoyed at people downstairs talking like bros
>Start going down stairs, get more annoyed because they're blocking the landing
>Slip on the top step and tumble down saying "Fucking shit!" in a loud voice
>The people are really kind and help me up, ask if I'm ok.
>Leave hurriedly, expecting to hear laughter
> Hear "Poor girl, I hope she's ok"
> Feel guilty :(

>>7746233
Onto the important things: is she hot?

>go to america on holiday from australia
>emulate black american accent to be cool
>scare people away
>revert to australian accent

>>7746281
>revert to australian accent
>suddenly surrounded by hot chicks
>orgy like a boss

>>7745436

>>Getting interview by Psych student about sexuality.
>Psych student has beautiful tits/low cut shirt
>Get distracted trying not to look at tits
>Wonder if this is all planned as part of the survey.
>Mumble/avoid eye contact rest of interview

Psych student here

JustAsPlanned.jpg

You weren't really gazing "aimlessly", you're just a closet fayget.

>>7745065

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT IN PUBLIC YOU BIG FAT PILE OF STUPID?

> Designing a wallpaper for a website
> Announce "Man, any project that calls for an exploding humvee is cool in my book!"
> Coworker responds that she knew someone who was killed by a roadside IED in Iraq
> Silence

>>7745562

>realise it's 1AM and everyone is sleeping

2:08AM here. Everybody sleeping + this place looks like Silent Hill

>buy lighter at corner store
>clerk hands me change but it drops on counter
>wait for him to pick it up
>he waits for me to pick it up
>after several seconds we simultaneously reach for the change and our hands touch

>>7745562

beeutiful :,)

>>7746396
central europe?

>>7746375
> Designing a wallpaper for a website
> Announce "Man, any project that calls for an exploding humvee is cool in my book!"
> Coworker responds that she knew someone who was killed by a roadside IED in Iraq
> Silence

you should've responded
>"awesome"

>>7745656

>archive this on 4chanarchive someone! I already have done one request

4times now, sir. 3 left

omg a memory just returned. only you folks will ever know. ive never told anyone this. its just too much even for my friend of 6+ years
>sitting in 9th grape Japanese language class
>feel sudden pressure in my bladder, gotta piss
>ask the teacher if i can go
>she says no
>being too much of a bitch, i sit there
>fuck it
>piss myself in the middle of class at age 16..
>no one seems to notice
>walk around for the last two periods in jeans with a huge piss stain
>never knows if anyone smelled or saw this to this day

that made me cringe as i typed. id forgotten about it for so long.

>>7745776

>you sir, are truly living life to the fullest

I guess this picture would be appropriate

>>7744080
I feel sorry for you :( I hate when this happens and then whatever food you're eating is ruined.

>>7746510
>sitting in 9th grape
>9th grape

lol but seriously, why didn't you go home after that class?

>Cute goth chick takes earbud out of ear and asks "What are you listening to?" before putting said earbud in her ear
>ALLLWAAYYSSS I WANT TO BEE WITH YOU TO MAKE BELIEEEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY OH LOOVVE
>Smile nervously

>>see cousin in supermarket
>>asks my dad what im doing with my life
>>dad says im a drop out
>>feel like want to die inside for disappointing him

(Inb4 underage+b&, 18 year old drop out)

>>7745865

>walking to class
>guy hands me a flier for a party
>throw flier in trash 5 feet away
>miss trash can
>flier floats down to the guy handing them out, lands on his feet

I did this many times. I don't even realize said person must feel bad about it.

>>7746583
I sincerely hope you really are underageb& and didn't actually drop out in the tail end of your last year in highschool.

>>7744926
>look cashier right in the eye and say "Chinks"

Fuck me, I'm still laughing at this.
Best one in the thread, IMO.

This thread is awesome
Requested archive, 1 more and its in

>call college registrar office
>put on hold
>begin singing song that is now playing (stand by me)
>keep singing after I'm taken off hold
>girl at other end laughs at me
>hang up phone and email the office instead

Someone tried to hand me a flyer and I said "I'm sorry I don't speak english" I felt like such a cunt one second after I said it.

Good new, it is going to be archieved

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 7 times now.

Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 7743764

>step sister comes to kiss my cheek during new years eve party
>freak out
>miscalculate and end up kissing mouth instead
>fuuuuuuuuuuuu

>>7746233

>daytime, 3pm
>gotta blow a lode
>watch porn
>ready to masturbate
>stand up, pull out the dick
>fapfappfaafpfap
>cum
>oh shit forgot to close curtains, lost in the moment i was
>loook outside
>neighbour watching

>fuck, she propably saw the whole fucking thing

And now for the problem part?

>>7746703
>Haha, sorry, you should hear my drunken karaoke.
>crisis averted

Why does it seem that NO ONE on /r9k/ knows that humble humor is guaranteed to get you out of any situation, and gives you something to laugh about in the future if you end up ever meeting that person again, or see them on a regular basis?

>>7746753
problem is it took him 20 seconds from start to finish

>>7746703
Why hung up? That would be the best service you have ever had.

Happy employees can go an extra mile for you.

>sitting at home on couch in boxers
>entire family acting weird around me
> after an hour realise there is a hole in my boxers and my ball is hanging out

>>7746510

Oh man what a flashback I just had, I did a similar thing last period in year 8 music class, I was pretty lucky 'cos it was right at the end of the lesson and nobody noticed 'cos I was wearing black trousers

>>7746246

>Wear black wintercoat
>Feel like a huge pedofile

I am not following you there. What is pedo /fa/Shion anyway?

>>7746612
I did. I'm now starting a Uni degree in may

bad_life_choice.jpg

>playing tetrisfriends in the computer lab
>someone on a computer behind me is also playing and challenges me to a 1v1 match
>I accept and beat him, then he beats me 2 times in a row and I get a little pissed
>I turn around and say his name
>he turns around and I realize our faces are really close
>....
>look away
>"....you play this game too much"
>turn back around

>>7746430

>central europe?

Yes, you are right. Czechfag

Not from today but at least it's not baww

>hoping to attend this uni in my town
>neighbor is professor of my field, Classics
>I email him while stoned, think it'd be clever to send him an email in Latin
>whatever this doesn't weird him out thank God, he has me come down so he can show me around the department
>I go there, sit down in his office without being offered a seat so I'm flustered from the get-go just for that little faux pas
>notice he's on a blog with a picture of courage wolf
>spend more time looking at the picture than at him, can't look away from the courage wolf
>sound like a dumbass because I'm so nervous
>he's almost as awkward as me
>long awkward pauses, we're both visibly uncomfortable
>leave asap with the comfortable knowledge that Classics majors are probably mostly awkward nerds just like me

Blech I just feel bad because I made a bad impression and probably made the prof uncomfortable. Plus I really wanted to pick his brain but I was so nervous that I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say, and he was so shy that he didn't really take control of the conversation either :\

>Flatmate asks about rent over the summer
>Say they probably need to pay it
>They say they cant and will have to move out
>They expect you to say its okay and can sort something out
>You dont
>Awkward pause before leaving without saying anything to my room.

>>7744926
>>7744926

haha, awesome. i usually end up stupid shit in those situations aswell.

>>7746861
Dunno, good foundation for next time.

>>7746861
Go back and say "So I hear you like mudkips"
Or just get stoned with him? ARE YOU NUTS YOU CUNT?

>14 get stoned with some "cool kids"
>asshole leader of the bunch starts shooting me with a paintball gun, I'm stoned and paranoid and sitting in a corner basically begging him not to shoot me, yes I was being a pussy
>he pushes me so far that even his asshole friends are telling him to stop and that he's being a dick

>Immediately start defending him "oh it's not that bad guys I mean whatever"

Dammit I need to learn to man up. I'm still like that even to this day. My friends call me Butters.

>>7746776
Congrats my fellow, you made me lol

< Stand basically pressed up against this guys chest on super crowded train
<Realize hot guy is staring at me and blush/look away
<Continuously bump purse/body into hot guy and exchange smiles
<Pretend I am on my phone
<Nearly fall and hot guy catches me, smiles again
<Notice this guy keeps looking at me the whole time
<Stand there like a fucking idiot

>>7746938
>Also realize you meant to do this > but are too fucking tired and busy thinking about hot guy

>bike to school
>get a super runny nose
>talking to teacher about a test
>long trail of snot falls from my nose on her desk...
>entire class silent except for a few girls going "ewwwww"

>walking to pizza place on break at work
>talking to coworker about teachers we hated in high school
>mentions one of my favorite teachers and refers to him as "the cabbage patch guy" because of the way his cheeks were swollen due to steroids
>right as we walk in the pizza place, I say "he died recently"
>friend just goes "oh" and the pizza guy in there looked really sad

>>7746932
>My friends call me Butters.

Holy shit it must be very bad

>>7746951
Jessica... that you?

>bumming around outside
>start talking to self
>someone walks by
>lift ipod to face and pretend that I was on the phone with nonexistent friend

>walking down beach
>see friend from school in distance
>shout friends name
>friend turns around
>turns out it's not a friend in the distance, but a small kid about 40 feet away
>he stares at me like I'm about to say "get in my fucking van"

>wake up in the morning
>feel like P Diddy
>brush teeth with a bottle of Jack
>alcohol makes my teeth clean
>knock over delicious looking plate of pancakes on way out for the week (I'm not coming back)

>>7746932
hi austin. i always thought it was because of something to do with butters on south park too. Because I remember something to do with that.

>Laugh really hard at party
>Lose control of bowels and start ripping a series of massive farts

>>7746955

>bike to school
>get a super runny nose
>talking to teacher about a test
>long trail of snot falls from my nose on her desk...
>entire class silent except for a few girls going "ewwwww"

>"ewwwww"

Are you from Japan or something?

>go on non-weeaboo board
>see someone mention a name
>immediately think of character from visual novel
>remember that other people have lives and I do not

Fuck Erika and her normalfag name, man.

>>7745171
oh update on this:

>girlfriend comes back
>tells me shes sorry and immediately starts unzipping my pants
>awesome blowjob

>>7744087
2 days in a row? must be your own mother..

>smell poo
>pood my pants

I just remembered, lol

>went drinking at a bar on 18th birthday
>have friends buying me shots
>take a shot of tequila, cough and spit it all over a girl I liked

>>7744544
>>7744544
>>7744544

Holy shit. That is easily the funniest one in the thread. I don't know why no one else has pointed this out yet.

someone should make a film and put as many of these awkward moments in it as possible.

>Asshole regular customer orders drink
>Ring up customer
>He turns around to go
>"Excuse me, sir. That'll be ______"
>He looks at me offended.
>"They usually don't charge me for that."
>Getting annoyed, keep smiling.
>"Cool."
>He pretty much throws his exact change at me.
>Turns around flustered, trips on display, falls on his ass.
>Customers behind him clap.

Feels good not to be the awkward one for once, man.

>>7747209
>calling mangas visual novels
>laughing
>realising I'm not happier
>sorry brah

>>7744544
>>7747316
there's no way it happened unless you live in like

the US

>>7746233

I've been there.

Except it was two neighbors.

Both male.

>>7747458
>implying that a visual novel isn't a video game
>realize that I'm implying
>realize that it's over stupid weeaboo shit
>what has my life come to

>>7746551
that wasnt even possible. i live like 20 miles from my school and i wasnt about to call up my mother ya know.

>>7745129
speaking of word meshing, was reading this and "deoderant stick" came out as "dick" in my head.

>>7748296
You know whats worst, flipping the first letter of words(e.g., Tom Foolery, Fom Toolery)
and I was supposed to say Bucky Fuller

>>7747458
Fuck you. Umineko is a visual/sound novel.

GOOGLE THAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER.

>>7744489
yes, they do. At least I do, anyways.