ads

do it faggot.

post results too.

Tell her how many times you've masturbated to her and imagined cumming on her face, too.

IT'LL ALL END BADLY

tell her in person if you have balls.
if she's a decent person she'll respect you for this even if rejecting you.

Record the spaghetti so we can be entertained.

You'll just embarrass yourself.

Stop falling in love with 7/10's

>>2209505

You have no idea how bad I want to do this. We've been friends for almost 8 years though...

Also, she might not appreciate a cheezy-ass call at 4 in the morning.

Record and keep us updated you slimey dildo. Good luck though.

And then she tells you that she thinks of you as her brother and that if you don't want to be friends anymore than fine. and then you see her at a party and you try to be civil with her but she gives you the cold shoulder and is a total bitch to you. Then you apologize and start hanging out with her again. Then she uses you and guilt trips you into giving her rides and slowly starts isolating you from your real friends and blaming them for the bullshit she does...

>>2209530
i have a feeling that this is experience talking.

>>2209526
I won't tell you not to call but you're totally setting yourself up for a fall.

Casually ask her to meet for coffee or something chat a wee bit then tell her, it's how I do it and thus far it's worked wonders.

>>2209519
I tried doing that today.
We go to school together.
I have friends who follow me everywhere I go, and have a hard time taking a hint.
I've never confessed my feelings to anyone in any other way than in real life.
But I have loved her for more than a year now, and I decided that it has to be today. If not, it won't ever.

>>2209555
so? did you do it? what happened?

dont do it dude!!!! just get some other female friends you dont want to have sex with. remember what jack osbourne said, " you have girls you are just friends with, and then you have girls that you fuck." never mix the two!!!

>>2209555
Dude you're in school, if you go to college you'll look back in a year and think wtf was I thinking?

Also you're infatuated with her, you can't love someone unless they reciprocate.

>>2209553
I know I'm setting up for a fall. That's sort of the idea.
I'm friendzoned to the most insane degree. I just want to break it off, we talk for hours every day. I'm just hurting myself, and it has to end.

>>2209553
DO THIS OP YOU FAGGET

>>2209553

Curveball: we've just started talking again like we usually do after a brief period of being very distant. Does this affect your advice? Forgive me dude, I new as fuck to all this.

>>2209575
There is another way, it'll be hard though. You'll have to cut the feelings and treat her as an equal friend, trust me, she already knows you like her more than a friend, girls always know when someone likes them.
Just treat her as a friend and keep reminding yourself that she will never be yours.

>>2209575
Well then stop pandering to her, I know this isn't easy but seriously in life's great tapestry this is just one shitty thread you'll soon get over.

hey man go for it. I know what it feels like to be in a limbo. shit sucks

Are you going to ask out the girl from The Last of Us?

>>2209591
Nope doesn't effect it at all.

And here's some advice from somebody who's been in a similar boat and is now older and wiser; don't stop being a nice guy, it doesn't entitle you to a hot girlfriend but being nice to everyone and working hard will seriously get you the furthest in all aspects of life. This all has to be coupled with self confidence but that will develop with time.

>>2209614
Don't even know what that is.
No, that's just her.

>>2209633

Its an unreleased video game where one of the main characters looks like Ellen Page.

I have to comment as I've been in the same situation.

Fell in love (or maybe just obsession) with a girl from high school. I'm 28 now, and those feelings haven't really gone away. We were never really friends though, oddly enough.

I eventually told her how I felt and she said she had no idea I felt that way. I asked her to cut all contact with me, and she did. Years later we got back in touch again, and she was very friendly. I got all kinds of the wrong idea, and I told her I loved her. After that, she cut all contact with me.

I don't understand why I feel so strongly about this one girl. She was very compassionate and could never really give me the harsh words I felt like I needed to be told. I'd hate to think of all the guilt I put her through, having to let me down gently.

>>2209616

Beautifully said. I'll keep this mind, thank you anon.

>>2209594
>>2209599

this and this deff!!!

dont be a nice guy, be a good man. rise above the infatuation and reach out to others regardless of gender

>>2209616
>And here's some advice from somebody who's been in a similar boat and is now older and wiser; don't stop being a nice guy, it doesn't entitle you to a hot girlfriend but being nice to everyone and working hard will seriously get you the furthest in all aspects of life. This all has to be coupled with self confidence but that will develop with time.

Thank you for putting that sentiment into words. I try to do the same thing - it might feel fruitless sometimes but I at least have the knowledge I'm honorable in my affairs.

>>2209662
Fuck man, I kill threads dead lately.

OP here.
Just gathered up all of my balls and called.
She didn't pick up.

>>2209715
Don't fucking listen to these guys telling you to live in safe mode. That's not how you really want to live your life. Sure, that will probably involve the least suffering, but it also comes with the least reward. Just fucking go for her and if she doesn't feel the same way then tough shit, move on to the next one.
After all, she's a girl. What's the worst she's gonna do? Fight you?

>>2209715

Extra time to pepper that angus. Keep us updated OP.

Between every ring of the phone, the butterflies in my stomach switch from fluttering to biting, because she might just have picked it up.

Just called a second time, she didn't pick up.

Should I call again?

>>2209802
I would stop now. Don't make yourself look TOO desperate.

>>2209802

Well, she knows what you had called to say must be important. I dont know what else to interpret from this if I were her, so I'll leave it to the pros...

>>2209802
you said it was 4am before. Stop being a fucking retard and stop being a pussy. Do what that other guy said get coffee and tell her face to face.

>>2209855
Wait, shit. This nigger is calling a girl at 4am?

OP, are you fucking retarded?

>>2209855
>>2209870

4AM was a different poster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_I92L10Lqc

This is gay but still, listen to this faggot.

She called back.

>>hey,
>you called
>>I need to talk to you
> oh dear
>let me sit down, I'll call you back in like, 5 minutes..
*hangs up*

;_;

>>2209908
Just kill yourself now.
She's probably laughing with her friends on facebook right now.

>>2209908
It takes 5 minutes to sit down?

You faggots never learn..

She called back, again.

I don't know of she's cold hearted or if it's unintentional, but she jut had this excessively happy tone to her voice all along.

I'm not going to bother writing the transcript, but I told her that we can't keep being friends. And she ended the pause with "So...I guess...I'll just.. See you.. In school?" each ... representing at least 5 secs.

How old are you, ohpee?

>>2209968
Give us the whole conversation, nigger! It's the only reason we stayed in your shitty thread

>>2209908
She kiIIed herself.

She's seriously gorgeous. Her eyes, man, her eyes.

get rejected bro

sucks for you, move on

In a few years, nothing that happened in school will seem all that important to you anymore. Today, it's your whole world; in a few years, you'll realize how laughably small your world used to be.

Op, just flash her a quick sight of the condom in your wallet.

>>2209908
BETA SPIRIT ! This is pure BETANESS.

99.99% beta

>B
>E
>T
>A

Be a man, grow FUCKING BALLS, go see her face to face. Tell her LIKE A FUKING MAN.

>I fucking hope she'll reject you fucking pussy, she deserves better.

I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNT

.....this comment to avoid the robot reduces the humor value of this remark

>>2210003
>please stop that unfunny bashed wanabee meme.
>or bring it on /b/

Thanks.

Btw OP we're you from ?

>>2209968
oh fuck
oh fuck
oh fuck
you fucked this up
"we can't be just friends"
That just sounds fucking creepy.

Also
>phoning her
>not doing it in person
If you're too much of a pussy to ask a girl out to her face, how are you ever going to do anything together as a couple?

You could have just told her you really like her and you want want to be with her, but in your own unique way.
make it cute, smile as you say it.

There's a lot more you can do when you ask a girl out face to face.
She might not have been sure whether she liked you or not, but that would have tipped it in your favour.

Usually I'm good at giving advices against betaness.

But man.... you couldn't have fucked this more.

"we can't be just friends"

>translate "I'm expecting you to concider me as something more than a friend but I'm even too much of a pussy to tell it to you the proper way. And also I clearly don't have what would be needed to be able to have such high expectations"

>translate "I'm like a child that wants a car and cry to his mom"

>translate "Thank god I'm out of your life because I'm just a creeper"

lol OP I hope you are less than 16, otherwise you should become an alcoholic

;_;
Her best friend just sent me this..

>>2210083

Without a 'full transcript' we cant really tell you where you went wrong.

>>2210083
>over the fun
what?

>>2210083

Good going, OP. You got her so upset that she's crying to her friends. Pure alpha.

>>2210083
>over the fun

>>2210083
>OVER THE FUN
>OVER THE FUN
>OVER THE FUN
>OVER THE FUN
I suggest you completely stonewall them, they're clearly too stupid to warrant contact

>>2210015
I'm from Denmark, but I live in Bangladesh.
She is american/french.

>>2209991
I know. ;_;

>>2210132
is that her

if yes
fuck you

>>2210083
you are a huge fuckin retard

it sounds like they have no idea that you were even confessing your feelings for her. What did you actually say?

>>2210097
>>2210129
>>2210130
I think by 'over the fun' she means that they were hanging out and having fun, and then I ruined everything.

>>2210156
Fuck 'em.
Why would you want to be around that garbage anyway?

>>2210156
Fun=phone ,dipshit

>>2210132
If you live in Bangladesh I suppose you're going to some kind of international school, plenty of cute girls around there, just forget about her and start hanging with other girls.

>>2210132
She is american/french.

I understand why she's cute. french master race reporting

>being an expat in a dirt poor country and still can't get a gf

LYL

>>2210178
Honestly, meh..

She's cute, OP. Reminds me of my ex. Dayum shame it didn't work out in your favor.

>>2210222
Left, or the blonde in the middle. Or you could go for an Asian girl, you're getting bonus points anyway.

Apologise you idiot.
Also, do these things in person next time.

>You have no idea how bad I want to do this. We've been friends for almost 8 years though...

bad news bro, if she didn't consider you fuckable within the first month she met you

you're never going to get it in.

you've been friendzoned for years and agonized over something she has never considered except for a brief 'nope'

in the future don't pine after a girl who is not interested in you sexually. move the fuck on.

this is not going to end well for you, kid.

>>2210243
Same guy, you screwed up already, stop contacting her and hope that she will, hang out with her and forget about it.

Find someone else before you make it too awkward.

>>2210225
I'm sorry, I'd say I know that feel, but never made it that far, as this thread serves to prove.

>>2210243
Asian chick has a ~2yr bf
Caucasian chick is stupid as fuck.

Oh, OP, you really shat the bed on this one.

>>2209916
lol.
you guys are the best.
this guy is nervous as fuck and you just make it worse.lol

OP is back.
I think she's just trying to hurt me now.
She put some comics about boobs on her tumblr last night, and bragged about it to me on facebook..
She posted this,

>>2210815
...and then, just 15 minutes ago, posted this.

>>2210824
I like this girl.

Meh, I might just be hypocritical

>>2210824
It's over. Pack it up and move on, then can laugh later when she fat with a kid and you successful OP MOB

>>2210815
>>2210824
Oh OP, you fucked up big time.

>>2210824
people actually do this? wtf!

>>2210083
>>2210083
>>2210083

she didn't even understand what you were saying you fucking autist. Was literally the only thing you said to her
>We can't see each other anymore
or something? What the fuck? Be explicit, girls are idiots.
>Hey X, i'm in love with you.
Much simpler.

Salvage it, go see her, tell her you were being an idiot and your mouth said something you didn't mean it to, because you do stupid shit when you think about her because you love her, and that's what you meant, that it was killing you to hold all those feels and you thought you couldnt do it anymore without telling her

>>2210824
to sum it up: you said to her that you can't be friends anymore and now she is offended LOL.
you should have said to her that you have feelings for her and if she refused you could have ended the friendship.

god op your are so beta

>>2210824

oh wow you're getting rammed

hahaha holy fuck. how do you people make train wrecks like this

anyway, she's a stupid faggot teenage slut, you can tell by these reacstions

>Telling a girl you like her in anything other than person.

Beta as fuck and you're basically guaranteed to get rejected.

>>2210271
all the way to the left...
dude is that a fucking man?

>>2210898
i knew some pretty ugly guy who asked out a girl over msn.
the had a relationship but they never had sex lol.

>>2210880
>tfw I'm stuck with the ~20 girls in my International School for the next 3 years.
One thing is not having a girlfriend throughout an extensive period of time. Another is knowing for certain that you won't.

>>2210907
Nope.
Her name i Sienna.
My buddy had a thing for her last year, he never even spoke to her.

>>2210865
THIS FUCKING THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO SOLVE THIS TRAINWRECK

I seriously hope this is a troll thread just because I'd feel so bad for OP otherwise. This is the worst anyone has ever fucked up at realtime reporting their attempt to ask out a girl on /r9k/.

>>2210169
>Use a completely different word that what you mean
>Not allowed to be confused by it
Sorry I'm not a retard and I use the words I mean.

>>2210849
Any retard can tell it is a good thing.
OP hurt her and this is a defense mechinism.

I cant imagine how OP feels. The girl he likes hates him now, because she thinks that he hates her

>>2210983
This, give her a day to cook and than ask her out for lunch.
I guarantee she will accept.

>>2210983
Nah, she would've responded. OP could probably do better, she's just making herself look like a huge cunt now. You know girls like drama and attention right? She doesn't like him.

man OP you need to take a little more care with stuff like this, come on.

How old is OP supposed to be? The girl looks about 15 at the oldest.

>>2211067
He's at the same school and said he'd be with the same girls for 3 more years, so presumably about the same age.

Which makes this the longest an obvious underage banned has been present without someone saying >hurrdurr underageB7.

But seriously, underageb&, get the fuck out.

>>2211058
I thought about editing it out.
just don't give a shit anymore.

>>2211058
send it to her.
i will be waiting for the answer(not op)

>>2211058
>>2211077
no no... that's good....
i love you

>>2211058
People who post real life shit on 4chan are always overly paranoid about it. Even if there was some truth to his story, the pictures are just grabbed off the internet and he chose some appropriate tumblr to spice it up.

You done made yourself look like a fool to some confused tumblr girl.

>>2211058
Send it nigga

>>2211105
i sure do hope you're wrong, anon

>>2209505
>and that we cant keep being friends.

Bad move.

Rapekillsex is the only viable solution.

Link to the blog?

>>2211144
I would, but if you're too stupid to see it for yourself then you're probably stupid enough to spam the poor girl's tumblr with memeshit.

>>2211144
nice dub-trip-dubs

>>2211147
Is it that fucking hunger games blog?
Thats all I get when I google.

>>2211144
http://this-blog-is-mahogany.tumblr.com

Dohoho OP, she's 14? Please leave.

Also, I can't post any fucking pictures.

>>2210824
Left eye donut thumb you?

She answered to anon's question. Shit's going down. If she's here by now, welcome. This is the realm of kissless virgins, feel free to make fun of them. It's great entertainment.

OP here
>tfw I'm the first to see her answer.
I honestly don't actually care all that much.
see: >>2209575

>>2211207
How would she be here?

Anyway this is totally uninteresting since they're both 14. Who gives a fuck about 14 year old drama?

Come back in 5, 6 years, OP, you might be able to entertain us then.

We'll still be here.

And Anon posted on her blog lel

OP, whatever you do, you have to incorporate "holy cow..." into your message. It's the only way to save this situation.

>>2209518
ALSO HOLY SHIT THIS GUY KNEW IT ALL ALONG

also capcha is Earl of Ernspit.

>>2211204

I donut (do not) like you.

Retard.

>>2211212

Actually, finding her blog was totally easy. Figuring out how url's work in Tumblr ain't that difficult.

>>2211221
She would be here as soon as some troll sends her the link.

>>2211232
If someone hasn't done this yet, they might as well so we can wring her reaction out of this.

>>2211221
Aww, I think it's cute.

>>2211221
i thought people on 4chan would at least be 16...
14 years come on.
virgin with 14? i am so sorry for you.
no seriously OP fuck off.

>>2211221
I sent her the link to the thread through a private message.

>>2211236
If nobody admits doing it within 5 minutes, I will. This guy is an idiot for doing this anyway.

>>2211242
I was lurking when I was 14. 19 now.

Fuck.

>>2211245
I'm sure a lot of people have done it, me included. She's not posting anything or replying to shit. She'll probably be the bigger person and just talk to him personally about it.

OP, this has not only been an anti climax for us, but you suck, you beta bitch.

also been here since i was 15, feels indifferent man

>tumblr account actually responds as if the owner recognizes the situation
>account is far too well established to have been created for a troll

Excluding the remote possibility that the girl is trolling us herself with this thread, holy fuck, OP was actually legit and really that stupid. Hats off to you, bro.

Someone ask her to update us, we're waiting for a resolution here.

I guess we should give them ten minutes in case they're tenderly confessing their love or something.

>>2211254
god you are such a faggot.
no it doesn't help,you acte like a fucking 12 year old.

>>2211269
I kind of doubt that they'd be admitting love for each other if she read this thread. Shit's not attractive.

Faggots gonna get mad because of underages.

Hoho, you guys are worse than them.

>>2211292
They're 14-15. How many 15 year old boyfriends are attractive to any rational human? Teenage girls be crazy.

>>2211296
Shut up, tripcunt.

Yo op she called you?
Report nigga shit's be interesting

>tfw I take this shit to 4chan because I don't have friends to vent on

She now hates me, but I honestly don't care all that much. Whole purpose was to detach from her.

>>2211300

Do you have any valid reason to shut me up or you are just mad?

Protip: You will call me a troll for using a trip. PROTIP! I am not.

>15 year olds openly on /r9k/

Why has nobody reported this yet? Ah well, reported.

>>2211317
so edgy careful not to cut yourself or anything xo

>>2211319
responding to assholes makes you an asshole, you'd have looked better if you hadn't tried to defend yourself, faggot

>>2211254
You've been reported, OP. The Bangladeshi Party Van should arrive any time now.

>>2211296
>He actually believes /r9k/ is filled up with kissless 20 year old virgins
If this really is true, shoot me, I always thought they were just hungry for attention, which still is true.

Is that you in the pic, OP? You look like a ten year old boy.

>>2211327
>Why has nobody reported this yet?
But I have reported this sir.

>>2211330
>>He actually believes /r9k/ is filled up with kissless 20 year old virgins
It is. We've got our fair share of underages around, but generally robots are over 20. We're probably one of the older boards on 4chan which is really fucking depressing.

>>2211328

Welp, too bad, I am an asshole.

>>2211330

A few time ago, some anon made a poll about occupation/age/race and stuff and there were more people above 18 years than below that age.

>themoreyouknow.jpg

>>2211334

That's a girl bro.

>>2211300
I don't know what kind of people in that age you know, but the ones I know (I'm 19, but my girlfriend is 16 so I know some girls in that age range) have a pretty well defined concept of what's attractive to them or not. Sure, it'll change when they get older, but being creepy like this isn't attractive to any age group.

>>2211317
What did she told You?

Beaches and shores nigguh

>>2211317
>I honestly don't care

oh baby boy I truelly know how u feel

>>2211330
>believes /r9k/ is filled up with kissless 20 year old virgins

They're all American, it almost impossible to achieve that in Britain even if you really wanted to.

>>2211350
They've known each other for eight years, whatever her opinion is it's probably not going to be significantly shaped by this one retarded thread.

>>2211347
>A few time ago, some anon made a poll about occupation/age/race and stuff and there were more people above 18 years than below that age.

I believe that part, but I always thought everyone was just trolling. Nobody can be /r9k/ level pathetic right? Right?
I just like to lurk around here for the greentexts, even though I'm with someone.

>>2211366
briton here. Lost it all at 16. but im really ugly, so I easily could've been a virgin forever. I just got lucky.

>>2211366
>They're all American, it almost impossible to achieve that in Britain even if you really wanted to.
I'm a Kiwi. We're more like Britain than America, right?

>>2211377

I've lost track of /r9k/ for the past month, but I've been since this board opened again (I never knew there was an old /r9k/ to be honest) and it was pretty exciting at first, but then it slowly drifted into daily bitching, and some memorable threads, only sometimes.

It sadly is a pathetic board.

>>2211368
You'd be surprised.
People act differently when they are anon.
If someone recognises me from my posts on 4chan through the way I type or something, it's like I've been caught fapping or something, it's horrible.

>>2211377
Sorry bro, this is the big gulf. Normalfags can barely comprehend our existence, just like how we just can't wrap our heads around the social norms that come so easily to you.

Your reaction is extremely common. But yes, we are this pathetic.

>>2211274
>calls op twelve
>can't use comma or spell 'act'

>>2211391
This is why I specifically type differently on 4chan to anywhere else.

>>2211396
Just try in a few 'niggers' and simplify your vocabulary.
Works like a charm.

So, are we sending this thread to milady or aren't we?

>>2211391
>Not changing the way you type on an Anonymous imageboard
ISHIGGYDIGGY.tiff.exe.jpg etc.

Yeah, it's pretty bad to get recognized.

oh, you trolls. Nobody sent the link.
She's talking to me on facebook.

>>2211408
>implying anybody can recognize you from the way you type

that's just retarded

>>2211405
It already has been, repeatedly by the looks of it. I doubt she'll show.

>>2211212
haha, you fucked up. this is really awkward but also amusing.

>>2211368
8 years was another guy

>>2211413
if serious everyone in this thread is gay, excluding me.

>>2211413
can you tell her that father-son-kamehameha would love his question to be answered

You don't just ignore a father-son kamehameha

>>2211408
>>2211416
It's happened more than a few times.

>>2211416
I use some recurrent turns of phrase that I try to avoid on 4chan for that reason.

It's extremely unlikely anyone would recognize me, but I'm paranoid.

>>2211413
if you wont tell me what shes telling you right now ill kill you with my bare hands, shits so interesting.

>>2211413
She hasn't deleted you yet?

>>2211425
>He's using a trip
Not OP, link was sent through the 'Ask tab' Anonymously.

>>2211444
>He's not even using a trip
Silly me, but I have dub-dub-trips, therefore, I'm still correct.

>>2211454
this isn't even me, this place is insane.

I send it to her again, just in case, and added that OP is a creepy fuck.

>people not realizing the best way to get rid of a tripfaggot is to ignore them

r9k really is the dumbest board

>>2211426
father-son-kamehameha.tumblr.com

nice one, faggot

>>2211479
>guy posts his username
>act as if repeating his username to him is somehow... like, fucking anything what are you even doing, shitbird

Someone write a tumblrfag-friendly guide on how to make a post on 4chan, so we can have her reaction on this.

>>2211510
Tumblr is the only site still on the internet that's more outdated and difficult to use than 4chan, if she can handle that she can post a reply here.

Seriously, the Tumblr interface is fucking hell.

>inb4 she doesn't noko

Still there, OP? Give us an update. Or something.

Stop reporting this thread, this trainwreck is too sweet to let it vanish.

Let us watch it in slowmotion with some explosions.

I will make popcorn.

I'M REFRESHING HER TUMLBR BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING
OP
OP
WHAT HAPPENED
OP REPORT IN DAMNIT

>>2211523
I'm here. She's basically just going 'WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?' on facebook.

>>2211553
Screenshots you fucking fagit.

>>2211553
Give us pics so we can help you goddammit OP

>>2211553
Well, why would you?

>>2211553

Screenshots, you swagtastic motherfucker.

Also, does she love you back?

'Why not?'

Give her something to think about.

>>2211564
You clearly haven't read the thread.
I don't want help.

Whole purpose was to detach myself from her.
If she hates me to the point that she wants to kill me, she probably won't ever talk to me again.
Serves the purpose.

>>2211553

if you feel the desperate need to tell her how you feel, you can bet your ass that most likely nothing good will comme out of that.

>>2211577
That's not kawaii. If you're just going to be an angsty faget, what did you need us for?

Confess your love and get together, goddamnit.

Why are we talking about 14 and 15 year old children on 4chan?

I'm not going to report this.
I'm not going to sage this.
I'm simply going to bump this so I can explain to my fellow brobots that this is unacceptable. And that I'm not mad ....... I'm disappointed.

>>2211577
Jesus christ it's so cringey to read everything you post. If you're not going to let us participate, delete the thread? You pretty much have all the attention you need, you pussy.

>>2211577
God, you're such a faggot. No one wants to help you. Just give us screenshots you fucking tool.

>>2211577
>Whole purpose was to detach myself from her.

no it was not.
you told her in the most ridiculously stupid way that you are infatuated with her and now you are backing the shit out of there.

>>2211577

Then at least give us some entertainment and pictures.

>>2211577
>whole purpose was to detach myself from her

Well stop talking to her on Facebook then.

>>2211606
It's kind of one-sided

Come on, OP.

Give us some pictures and her reactions.

>>2211626
>Asbjorn

>>2211626
>his name is Asbjorn
>laughinggirls.png

>>2211631
he already has the "as" in his name.
now where is the "pie"?

>>2211626
>Asbjorn
My fucking sides, man.

>>2211638
Asbjorn sounds perfectly autistic on its own. In fact, I propose we adopt this as a new term for such splendid examples of spaghetti such as OP.

cocksandshitblox

>professed

Uh.. guys thats a normal scandinavian name.
My boyfriends brother is named that and he is hot as fuck

>>2211626

Tell her straight that you love her and that you wanted to detach yourself from your crush.

IS THIS SO HARD, OP? BECAUSE YOUR PLANNED DETACHEMENT FAILED PRETTY HARD. CHOO CHOO. CAN YOU HEAR THE TRAIN?

IT SMELLS LIKE TOMATOES AND PEPPER.

MUST BE FUELED WITH SPAGHETTI.

>>2211654
>he's done it before

Jesus Christ...

>>2211658
>normal
>Scandinavian name

Pick one. Doesn't change the fact it sounds stupid as fuck and for some reason completely fits the image OP has conjured.

>>2211639
>>2211635
>>2211631
>>2211638
>>2211649
You should try and see americans pronounce it.
And added to the deal, It's actually with a dashed o, (r9k won't allow non-ascii characters).

Should I just go kill myself?

>>2211654
This is... incredibly reasonable.

You don't deserve her OP, I can only hope you leave her the fuck alone.

>>2211654
The girl sounds like a complete bitch.
And that's coming from another bitch.

>>2211654

Aw shit, it's learning.

Just to inform you Asbjorn, you are no longer permitted at my french table.

>>2211654
i wanna see the full pic with name.
anyone could have written this with the information that has alreay been posted ITT

>>2211689
it's on her tumblr you fucking cocksucking fucking fuck

>>2211654

>(hes done that before
>She was happy about it

OP, I CANT HOLD MY SIDES ANY LONGER, THEY ARE MOVING ON THEIR OWN, GO TO THAT GIRL AND KISS HER, GOOD LORD I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE NAMED ASPJORN, THE ASPERGIC

>>2211689
Look at the Tumblr yourself.

>>2211681
>implying bitches don't think every other female is a bitch

>>2211654
Oh /r9k/, we've done it again.

>>2211654
>i'm not that bitchy
>I was trying to give off a 'who cares, I don't need you as my friend' vibe.
LOL'd
She sounds like a fucking retard, op.

OP you should have done this in person, properly.

You are stupid. Now go feel like shit, you earned it.

>this spreading to Tumblr means all her friends are going to see it and ask what the fuck is going on
>he's at a small, close-knit international school so by the next school day fucking everyone is going to know everything and think he's a creep for the rest of his education

You done fucked up good this time, Asbjorn.

CAN YOU SMELL THE YOUNG LOVE THAT IS BLOOMING ON THIS BATTLEFIELD?

A MIRACLE HAPPENED

MADE BY ASPJORN

>>2211654
>Creeps (sorry you guys, but let's be honest here)

Feels bad, man.

We have to keep an eye out for newspaper articles and shit for his school.

The next two weeks can be full of suicidal moods if he doesn't answer her questions properly and gets a blowjob.

MAN THE GUARDS!

>>2211747
She's completely right.

>>2211753
It says something about /r9k/ that this wasn't blocked.

>>2211747
and then people are complaining about other internet sites being normal...

>>2211753
I know. Thats what makes it so bad.

Ok buddy this is what you are going to do NOW

a) ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
b) TELL HER THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO HER IN PRIVATE
c)SAY THAT YOU MADE A MISTAKE AND THAT YOU MADE IT BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO
d)ROMANCE HER

Asbjorn, where are you?

Still here?

Have you confessed your feelings to her directly now?

Report in, you asspie. It's starting to rain spaghetti here.

>>2211778
Chin up, that was pretty much the most generous way she could have chosen to describe us.

>>2211779
She's seen the thread, she knows what's up, she's pissed over everything, the game is up, man, Asbjorn is fucked and there's no going back. There's no going back for Asbjorn.

>>2211654
Well she's not wrong, it is pretty fucking creepy here. Also I feel bad talking about a 14 year old over 4chan at 2am. Probably time to re-evaluate where my life has gone.

And he's done this before? Oh lord. Such a great sense of dramatic confessions. You can nearly pull off the whole Wuthering Heights, tortured hero thing, Asbjorn.

But for my honest advice? Apologise, say it was stupid of you, put it behind you. If she wants to be friends again, great, as long as you never pull this spaghetti maestro shit again. If something is ever going to happen, she will have to initiate, because you can't ever do this again and expect and ounce of respect (although I'm 99% sure you've blown it for good). If she doesn't want to be your friend, that's what you supposedly wanted, so that's fine too. After that, just become who you want to be. Be funny, don't creep, don't try to be edgy or subtle by posting unrequited love gifs on your tumblr. I'm not judging you, we've all been at that terribly awkward stage in our life where troo luv should be told in a way soaking in dramatic tension. But stop it.

Why can't you be cool like me?

I burst out laughing each and every time someone addresses the OP as Asbjorn. I could never have gone to class with this kid.

>>2211793

Dude, it's not over until she's slaps you in the face and calls you an asshole.

Oh god , oh god I am laughing for 15 minutes now. I can't believe how stupid you are Asbjorn ( Oh god LOL). Sure I did stupid things too but not like this. You fucked up things pretty bad man. I am laughing my ass off but at the same time I feel bad for you Asbjorn.

>>2211817
More like an Assbjorn.

>>2211825

oh god why the fuck was this so funny oh god

>>2211823
Every fucking post this gets me, I'm struggling not to wake up the rest of the house.

Fucking Asbjorn, Jesus Christ.

OP you are officially King Sperg

>Calls crush twice to no answer
>Blurts out feelings and says we can't be friends anymore
>(he's done this before)

many laughs were had OP. it's a good thing you're both like 14, shit doesn't matter at that age.

>>2211825
Even though I knew what was coming that was fucking hilarious

>>2211784
>>2211802
Yeah, I'm here.
This thread kind of made me transition slowly in mood.

First I was miserable, then I was depressed, then I was suicidal, and now I'm just laughing at my massive social suicide.

>>2211825
Assporn, seems to be the nickname.

Person from Asbjorn's school here. We called him "Assporn" for the first few months. We should have stuck with it, but the teachers weren't exactly thrilled.

Incredibly childish. You don't literally call someone and tell them you don't want to be friends anymore, you just cut contact and eventually they'll take a hint.

Granted OP's situation has taken a embarassing turn for the worse here, doing otherwise makes you look pathetic or desperate for attention, which OP clearly is since he bothered to make a thread about the whole thing.

>>2211795

>spaghetti maestro

EL OH EL

Pic related. Let's archive this thread.

We need to show future generations the genius of Asbjorn, the spaghetti maestro and his pasta epic.

>yfw you realize this asbjorn kid is 15 and having normal teenage drama with a 14 year old girl while you are 20+ and a forever alone virgin.

>>2211654
I don't think she knows the meaning of the word "creep."

Not yet anyways.

>>2211833
I'm in fucking agony from this thread, tears streaming down my face and shit. Whenever I look at the screen and see another mention of Asbjorn it sets me off again.

Oh God, I can barely type this post.

>>2211836

this is too fucking good to be true oh god

Asbjorn, seeing how you refuse to address the subject on facebook, I have to say it here. What are we going to do about French? are you remaining at my table, or will you move?

>>2211835
>>2211836
Same time post, seems legit.

How much shit are you going to give Asbjorn for this, classmate?

>>2211785
Yeah I know I just think it's funny how a 14 year old girl totally has our number right away.

Archive this shit for the glory of Assporn the aspergic!.

>>2211840

Sorry Asspjorn, forgot your picture. It's your collection of masterworks.

Oh and when you go back to school ... I will leave a carton of spaghetti in your backpack.

>>2211842

>mfw you realize that revealing your petty feels and exposing yourself and a so-called friend to humiliation from hundreds of anonymous strangers doesn't even come close to "normal" teenage drama

>>2211842

I had a similar drama at age 21. I did what >>2211779 said and ended up with her.

tfw this was me, i feel famous

>>2211852

LOL IS THIS THE CHICK? IS SHE FUCKING IN THE THREAD? AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

>>2211852

I will commit suicide.

Asbjorn, you are the spaghetti king. The (beta) spaghetti Thor.

>>2211866
>tfw I might just pick this up as a trip for /mu/

>>2211852
OP confimed for legit.
Idunno, don't really want to go back to the dipshits.
I know other people at the table than you, you know.

Yup, I'm in the thread. I find it amusing that you guys find this so interesting. It's quite amusing to watch you all be amused.

This kid will commit suicide and the girl will realize she's also to blame.

i love it

>>2211878

glorious. fucking glorious. make sure to lay out tarps before you do it so you dont waste good spaghetti.

Dongbjorn
Assdjong
Assbjorn
Aspjorn
Assporn
Spaghetti Maestro
Captain Spaghetti
Assa Spergitanu, the pasta rain shaman
Asspie

Let us collect names and write down poems for our hero

>>2211899
I would fuck your pussy SO hard.

>>2211852
>>2211878
OH GOD OH GOD I am nearly choked to that because of laughing

HEY

HEY, GUYS

GUYS, HEY, GUYS

NO WAIT, LISTEN, GUYS

LISTEN

LISTEN

Asbjorn.

>>2211852
>>2211852
>>2211852

lolololololol

please see my pic.

I didn't mean to offend Asbjorn, but I was thinking that it might be awkward. I doubt Tarishi will be your biggest fan after all this. And I wasn't under the impression that you knew Aarambh and Sidd that well.

So is anyone going to jizz on OP's picture?
I don't have a printer but I feel someone should have done it by now

>>2211899
So why did you friendzone OP?

Already dating, or just a manipulative bitch?

>>2211920
>OP went out of his way to drag all those other girls into it early on with all those pics and commentary

Oh Jesus fucking Christ Asbjorn what have you done.

COME ON BRETHREN ONE MORE VOTE UNTIL ARCHIVAL.

>Aarambh

Asbjorn doesn't seem so weird anymore.

>>2211878
Cmon man dont commit suicide. So you got a little spaghetti on your plate? It'll pass. Just change schools or something. That girl and her friends are truly terrible...

Just for you Asbjorn.

I hope you like it.

fuckin hell i love this thread

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

we need to archive this shit and let the story of KING ASSPORN, SPAGHETTI MAESTRO live on

Asbjorn's classmates: Could you supply some images of said Asbjorn so we can get started on some >You just went full Asbjorn.png reaction images. Thank you.

I just want to say I was part of this epic thread later on in life.

Hehe... ass porn.

>>2211899
>>2211920
Hey, if you're the girl...you're hot.

I would totally shove a bottle in your vagina, punch it until it bled out to fill said bottle and then insert bottle with your vagina blood (not period blood) in my own ass to masturbate.

A/S/L?

>>2211930

but it has more ASS.


Hey lady, he meant no harm. There is no need to make this public. I think he feels sufficiently humilliated by now. He was just being inmature and he loves you. Don't make his life hell.

>>2211920

EY GURL YOU WANT SOME FUK?

Nah just messin. Please proceed to post this shit all over facebook or tumblr or what have you. This is just too perfect. You must understand that we robots do not encounter such pure and fine spaghetti outbursts like this often.

>>2211920
>Aarambh

>>2211930

Until you pronounce it.
I think it's just 'aram'
but asbjorn. 'ahsbgiorn'?

I feel for you OP.

Honestly she seems like a bitch the way she responds and pushes you with the ''Sitting at MY table at french'' and ''My lady friends won't like you anymore after this because i am gonna tell them allll about it!!1!1!''

You'll find a better nicer girl who won't friendzone you

So how are you going to off yourself, OP?

>>2211952
I wasn't all that impressed by this thread's spaghetti credentials early on but gee whiz did it go somewhere.

HERE IS THE TALE OF ASBJORN AND DANICA:
I friendzoned him way back in 8th grade because I did not like him. Then he dated my friend. Then they broke up. And we became good friends. He still liked her, but in Nov/Dec of last year, he said he liked me. I friendzoned him because my friend liked him. Everything was good until February, I think, when he did the same thing. Friendzoned, yet again. After being friendzoned 3 times, you'd think a guy would learn, but alas, he pulled this, only it was much more dramatic. The end.

>>2211920
Hey girl if you still here can you give us a pic of Asbjorn I think it would be fair since he gave us yours.

>>2211958
Asb yorn I think

>>2211937

We will never forget Asbjorn, as he got archieved and his spaghetti will be eternal.

>>2211969
GIVE ME YOUR PERIOD BLOOD PLEASE, I NEED IT

>>2211975
>/r9k/ relationship thread BAD END unlocked

>>2211958
Asbjorn is pronounced like Assporn.

Congratulations on being the newest member of the Spaghetti Hall of Fame, OP!

>>2211958
Ofcourse if you live in a nigger country or a country full with fucking terrorists that name might seem more normal to you.
But for white europeans the name Bjorn even with as infront of it sound way more normal then some AArrambhmuhhamed name.

( Bjorn means bear by the way )

And I'm being mean about it because I'm pissed off.

>>2211959
Bro, I don't think the table shit was her. I honestly feel like she's handled this much better than he has. I wouldn't like my pictures and shit posted over /r9k/, especially if I was an underage girl.

Asbjorn, this fucking made my night.

>>2211988
Shut up, Asbjorn.

>>2211969

jesus fucking christ this is the first time a thread has brought me to tears.

<----- this is actually my fucking face right now

>>2211988
Ass bear.

no homo

>tries to break off all ties
>ends up drowning in spaghetti

>>2211996
That wasn't actually me.
But yes, Bjorn is modern danish for bear.
As is ancient danish for god.

>>2211969

Absjorn is truly a master of the spaghetti arts.

Asbjorn, where did you get the picture that starts this thread? I can't find it anywhere in my photos and it's not on my camera, so I don't know where you found it....

>>2211993
Gives us a picture of Assbjorn, yes?

>>2211993


and you have every right to be pissed off. But we can asure you he meant no harm. He was just misguided.

And this is why you don't post about your teenage idiocies on the internet no matter how important you happen to think they are.

>nfw future employers and girlfriends google good ol Assbeard's name confirming him for intergalactically autistic

>>2212011
You're taking this pretty well Asbjorn, considering how everything went about as badly as possible.

>>2211959
Agreed, she doesn't seem like a genuinely good friend, or is handling this whole thing in a mature manner. Then again you really shouldn't expect a good friend to begin with from someone who friendzones you.

Even worse is this is probably going to make the rest of his years in school miserable.

There is one they call
Aspie-born!

>>2212015
You took it using my phone.
;_;

>>2212019
>mfw when the tale of Asbjorn spreads across 4chan, becomes a meme, and is eventually stolen by le Reddit like all memes and soon is printed on Hot Topic t-shirts and referenced in badly animated cartoons and the name Asbjorn becomes so synonymous with spaghetti that no child is ever named that again for another thousand thousand years

What have you done, Asbjorn?!

>>2211988
>bjorn means bear
Aspie bear?
Man, my picture of you is starting to be vivid.

>>2211959
speaks troof all day erry day

For all you retarded morons who are obviously VERY new to the internet, i shall stamp this thread the way anyone with any sense and knowledge of how the internet works would.

Fake

and

Gay.

That is all.

>>2212006
>>2212024
>>2212019

holy shit hahaha

i've been on r9k since its original creation and i can only think of a few threads as funny as this. fucking bravo, assporn, spaghetti maestro.

>>2211959
+1

He really shouldn't have bothered to make this thread in the first place though. Or go through the trouble of calling someone just to tell them you don't want to friends anymore.

>>2212031

No no no see as you (inevitably) frequent r9k more you learn to use the spoilers like this:

;_;

Here is the full name of Assporn. Hail to the spaghetti king Asbjorn Andersen !

>>2212035
I don't know, but I'd love to see it happen.

Love interest speaking: I don't plan on telling anyone at school about this. I called Katie in a panic because no one's ever broken up their friendship with me OVER THE PHONE, and I didn't know how to react. She was honestly angrier than me. So she might tell. I plan on keeping mum.

>>2212048
How do you explain the tumblr account?

Sure it COULD all be the girl doing it, but really I think Asbjorn just being Asbjorn is a simpler explanation.

>>2211654
Sounds like a fairly normal well-adjusted girl who even has this placed pegged to a T.

>>2211993
>im pissed off.

Why are you pissed off?

He's the one who's gonna take shit for this whole thing, you get to enjoy /r9k/s attention for a day or two.

>>2212057
lol, try again.

...stupid robot wants me to make an original comment, spaghetti.

>>2212063
She sounds pretty chill and has reacted with more grace than Asbjorn deserves for this clusterfuck, to be perfectly honest. I don't know why some robots are getting butthurt over her.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1325067555 - Girl

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1513064431 - Probably OP, looks assbjorn enough.

>>2212060
>I don't plan on telling anyone at school about this.

Your supposed classmates have already posted in this thread earlier. The word is already out.

>>2212031

I made another painting of you, Bear of the Ass, Assporn, Aspjorn, The Aspie-Born, Spaghetti Maestro, King of Assbears, Queen of Asspies and The chosen Pasta one.

Asbjorn reporting in once more. I'll get you for this Spiderman!

>>2212077
Oh SHIT if that is his face that is fucking perfect.

>>2212060
He'll do something again, if I know Asbjorn (and I'd like to think I do).
Yes, that little lad has some pluck about him, mark my words.

>>2212043

Here, just for you.

ITS ASBJORN.

Now, that you have Asbjorn's face, feel free to make a meme

Oh god, I'm dying of laughter! You know what makes matters worse? About their facebook >>2212077, they look like fucking 12.... Fucking tragic.... FUCKING TRAGIC!!!

>>2210824
my sidea. I just ant stop laughing. I think I love this girl

is everyone in your shitty third world country as hot as assporn's crush pic?

if so, i just might be willing to put up with you freedom-hating eurofails

>dat feel when Jono

Congrats OP, you've achieved internet spaghetti stardom!

So this is how /r9k/ers are born..

all of a sudden, silence

someone tl;dr the thread for me

>Asbjornblox

Everyone is busy laughing. One guy still has to print out OPs picture, jizz on it ( propably with some poop for bonus points ) and laod it up in this thread.

>thisishowasbjornyouarebeingblox

>>2211664
Hey, I've actually eaten there. It's a nice hole in the wall in Tampa.

>>2212131
That's him? he's cute i would have had a crush on him if i weren't a 20 year old female wizard.

>>2212139

>OP in love with chick (both fucking underaged v&)
>Wants to profess love then cut off contact
>Does it over the phone like a creepy fuck
>Chick posts about it on tumblr
>We find her tumblr and inform her of the thread
>She's currently in the thread bro'ing around
>OP drowning in spaghetti, soon to commit suicide

Basically.

>>2212148
Nigga, you just went full retard.

captcha: rigedo cringe

All of my cringe.

Hey OP, for what it's worth, you are kind of good looking.

>>2212152
He'd be cute if he got a haircut

>>2212152
Not sure, I just found that facebook then found her though friends of people who've done stuff on his wall (can't see friends) and he's 15 so I'm guessing it is.

>>2212158

And why? I don't understand your post. THis was suggested earlier in the thread.

Love interest speaking: Where on earth did you guys get our facebook profiles? Or is it better not to ask and just hope no one rapes me during the night?

>>2212157
seriously? history has just been made

>>2212131
He's actually kinda good looking. At least on par with the girl if not a point higher. Shame his naive notions about pure love and fair maidens will get him skullfucked by every girl he comes across. No homo.

He'll fit right in here.

>>2212166
It's him. How many 15 year old Ass-bears would this chick know anyway?

Asbjorn, even 4chan thinks you need a haircut. Are you convinced now?!

>>2209518
This man is Nostra-fucking-damus.

>>2211654
If he's supposedly professed his love before, how the fuck didn't she know he liked her?

>>2212173

Actually I am looking for a nice route to your places on google maps as we speak.

Don't worry, no rape. Yet. Prepare for some audiovisual recorders and cameras, because I will keep an eye out for voyeurtastic pictures, videos and sound recordings.

>mfw /r9k/ soon drives Assporn to go all Breivik on his school.

>>2212193
>even 4chan thinks you need a haircut

No i like his hair, it might need grooming, but long blonde hair is sexy.

Poor Asbjorn, I feel for you bro. Thanks for the lulz though.

>>2212183
Yeah true, also the cover picture looks /mu/ as fuck.

>>2212173
I was bored.

>>2212173
We have our ways. It isn't as hard as it looks because people like good old Asbjorn forget to blank out some crucial information.

>>2212152
Fuck!

>>2212160
Fuckfuck.

>>2212162
Fuckfuckfuck.

>>2212182
Uh, are you guys fucking serious?
on a more sincere, non spaghetti, note.. Comments on this haircut I've been planning to get?

>>2212193
4chan also clearly has a better taste in guys than you.

>>2212207
He looks fucking ridiculous, and his behaviour in this thread makes the hair look even more ridiculous.

>>2212210
Oh SHIT how did I not think of that that's fucking hilarious.

Going straight into my new Asbjorn folder.

>>2212173
The whole point of Facebook is to make it easy for people to find each other and share information that can be sold for profit.
Don't be surprised giving up your best protection on the internet, anonymity, for recognition comes without serious ramifications.

>>2212173

My my they learn quick these days.

>>2212204
Don't worry about it, look at all this ego-boosting he's getting:
>>2212221

Soon one of these pedo chansluts will strip on cam for him and he'll be having the time of his life.

>>2212210
I am literally stifling my mouth with a pillow right now so I don't wake my roommate up. Fucking 10 star shoop.

>>2212210

We've officially hit peak thread. Pack it in, robots.

>>2212222
Nice quads, also, upload that folder.

Will someone promise to compile the image of this thread?
>(04/23/2012)
>THE DAY OP WENT FULL ASBJORN
>NEVER FORGET

>>2212221
>Uh, are you guys fucking serious?

You are underaged and i'm not one for statuatory rape, but yea i'd fuck you.

>>2212173
if you are the girl OP is in love with post it on the tumblr.

>>2212210
An Assborn Thu'um?
Would that be a fart?
Would it be Spa Ghet Ti?