ads

>asks questions to google after I've told her a thousand times why this doesn't work in detail
>my fucking face

Anon how do I get into that MSN thing again?

> its set to start automatically with his computer, its already open and logged in, just minimized

>mom bought an iphone because she "wanted an i-something"

>double clicking links

>"Stop playing all those games, you'll give the computer viruses"

>*subscribes* to junk mail
>forwards chain letters
>asks Google multiple-sentence fully grammatical questions
>types enormous email-length multi-paragraph messages into Facebook chat, MSN, text-messages... her 'users is typing a message' indicators that stay up for 10 minutes before you get 2000 words is always hilarious / never read by me :)

>Okay mom, now you double click to open the program.
>Click.... Click...

>wants to know more about "flowers", for example
>"flowers.com"

>OH LOOK I CAN GET A FREE INSURACNE HERE LET ME CLICK THIS AD

My parents are a software engineer (dad) and website designer (step-mom). No funny stories for me. :(

>cmd.exe is "Hacking" and "bad"
>iTunes is amazing
>forget to turn screen on, think computer is broken
>makes calender on MS Excel (wat?)
>thinks PC has virus when accidentally presses toe against power button
>uses IE8 and claims it's fast and good

Heeeeeeeeeeerrp

OT: was the old r9k full of tripfaggots too?

There's probably a lot of money in designing/selling a mouse that can do this.

>Parents on my laptop
>Pop up comes up
>ITS A VIRUS
>they nuke my hard drive.

This was about 2 years ago. Now they have there own netbook to fuck around on. I dont even know how they deleted everything.

>>208234
they killed it bro

>Thinks that if you are using the same browser, open up 2 windows, and log out of your e-mail on one browser, it'll stay logged on the other browser.

Back in the day, forced me to buy Norton Antivirus because she was afraid of catching a computer virus (she was feeling a little sick).

In her defence, it was one of the best AVs at the time and the version I got (on 3.5 floppy, for Windows 3.1 and 95) came with free updates for life. I never made use of them, although I may contact Norton now to see if they'll keep their promise.

>>208420

Should have said, free updates and upgrades.

>>208420
Not worth it bro, for the cost of calling them. Their software sucks balls harder than Steve Jobs now.

>Have a headache
>mom says it's the PC
>feeling ill
>mom says it's the PC
>house fire
>mom says it's the PC
>cancer
>mom says it's the PC

>mom gets gets sick same time as I do
>insists I caught it from being the PC too much
>she has it and never uses it

My fucking face.

My mother doesn't even know how to start the computer.

She has been working almost every day in her life.

She is a working robot for menial jobs.

Nothing more.

>>207693
>literally doesn't know what the shift key is: when she wants to make a capital or special character she presses cap-lock, then whatever she wants, and then cap-lock again... her new laptop doesn't have a cap-lock indicator light which has been a nightmare for her
I do the same thing.

>be 14 and mom buys us our first computer(this was around 1998)
>have to literally explain the concept of the mouse to her because she doesn't understand that when you move the mouse the pointer on screen moves with it
>gives up after 10 minutes and doesn't touch a computer again for years
>finally decides years later that it really is necessary to own and use one
>buys a dell, can't figure out what to do with it
>try to hell, she gets mad
>finally just let her figure it out
>to this day she still uses IE and acts like that IS the internet


I don't get how you can be THIS damn computer stupid. It's not that fucking hard. Everything I know about computers I learn from just fucking around with them. Jesus fuck.

A couple years ago I gave my mom an old printer of mine. From that point forward she printed out EVERYTHING she wanted to read on the computer off onto paper; she went through hundreds of pages a month of stupid bulletin board shit, nonsense for flakes about psychology, news articles, etc, etc. It was a godsend when it broke.

my mom can't figure out tv remotes.

One side turns on the cable, the other the TV. It has been this way for years, why do you hate me so to cause this frustration?

this is how i feel about people too dumb to play strategy games
[spoiler]and actually use their own spontaneous strategies and not limmit themselves to 'build orders' defined by others[/spoiler]

>my boss double clicks links
>she types www before every URL
>she uses an aol email account

>>208789
>try to help
I meant.


Anyway, this isn't specifically computer related but it's technology related.

>work at grocery store
>EVERY fucking person over 65 that comes through my line is fucking retarded and has no concept of what a debit card is or how to use one
>they fall into 3 categories
>(1) They are afraid or don't know how to use one, so they still use checks(IT'S THE SAME GODDAMN THING WHY WOULD YOU STILL USE CHECKS, JESUS FUCK THEY TAKE SO LONG TO WRITE OUT)
Every old lady that does this shit, waits until she get all the way up to me before she starts writing the damn thing out, then spends 15 minutes writing it out while I have 10 people in line waiting. And nothing pisses me off more than when I'm on break and I get behind one of these bitches.
>(2) They own a debit, but have no idea what the fuck to do with it, so I have to help them through the whole transaction.
Them: Which way do I swipe it?
Me: It says on the machine.
Them: Ok, now what do I do?
Me: Put in your PIN.
Them: I don't know it, which button do I press?
Me: ...
>(3) The own a debit card, generally know how to use it, but still think those touch pads are as bad as they were 10 years ago and will jam the pen or their finger into it, which can fuck up the screen
I kid you not, I had this old man come through my line that completely ignored the pen and tried to use his finger to put in his PIN. But he had those long nasty ass yellow old man nails, and jammed his thumbnail into the screen so hard it left a huge mark on the fucking screen. We had to replace the pin pad, because no one else could use it.

my grandma dont even know what a PC is or does

My parents think video games will turn me into a serial killer. Half life, portal and borderlands are all "that gun game". They say games are "evil" and will give me "weird thoughts". Weird shit.

>pretty much all older relatives paste URLs into the Google search bar
>think IE is good

>>208948

I type www before every url. Force of habit.

>not greentext
>can't read it

My mum things that computer come loaded with press this key to blow it up keys.

She once went apeshit over an error report when my friend was there, was embarissing

"don't go on youtube, you'll get a virus!"

>presses down button multiple times instead of using the scroll wheel
>slow 1 fingered typing
>double clicking everything
>drags window to bottom of the screen instead of minimizing something
>accusing me of slowing the computer down whenever I open program
>anytime something goes wrong she immediately blames me
>computer fucks up, she walks by and says the computer is tired and you should give it some rest
>computer actually starts fucking up and when I try to restore it from a backup, she tells me to not change anything and it will go away on it's own.

>>208234
Yes. And this fucking thread is hilarious.

>>208785
Mom detected.

>Internet browser has 12 different toolbar add-ons, with 7 different search engine shortcuts among other useless shit.
Half the browser is blocked by the UI, and they don't dare have me change it. They "like it the way it is."

>>209130
Every. Fucking. Time.

Good taste in games though anon.

>>209393
i can't stand it when i use someone else's computer and see just ONE extra toolbar that i'm sure they don't use

>all dem vidya gaems you downloaded are slowing down the computer

>>209130
Seriously. My parents are like this with music too.

>oh Will you listen to music that isn't Christian core?
>that's not good, it'll make you wanna rape women and kill people

>Dad updates his iPhone
>It takes 4 hours with his shitty computer
>Computer freezes
>He gets mad and says I should quickly help him or his iPhone will melt
>"If it melts you can buy me a new one because updating was your idea, son"

>>209443
tell them that christian music makes you want to rape women and kill people

>>207693
I have a coworker who turns the mouse backwards. most confusing thing in the goddamn world.
how does that even work??
and we all share these three computers, which means he'll be using one, and then we have to reset everything right after he's used it.
I do not look forward to when he's in the office >.<

>I need to use your printer to print something. Here, I saved it to this disc.

>"Anon, my printer isn't working, try and fix it for me!"
>Sure grandpa, I'll see what I can do
>Hmm, everything looks like it's connected properly
>Software is installed
>I'll check the cables again
>USB cable is jammed in the ethernet port
>"Hey grandpa, I fixed it."

Also, next door neighbour, multiple times
>"Anon, can you come over? I think my computer has a virus."
>Entire system flooded with fake virus scanners and malware
>Clean up everything as good as I can
>"Hey thanks Anon"
A few weeks later
>"Anon, my computer isn't working properly."
>Same shit all over again
Seriously...

screen is zoomed in
YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER WHY IS IT BROKEN
WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY
>settings
>resolution

I used to be an IE8fag, only because I didn't give enough of a shit to download anything else. Then my family downloaded a bunch of freeware and shit, which added literally 8 toolbars.

>Download Chrome
>Nobody else in my family uses them
>Think of them as plebs
>never look back

>mom can't do a damn thing with her cell phone
>needs me to set the alarm on it every time even though I show her how every time
>she gets an Android phone
>suddenly she's able to figure all that stuff out on her own

Huh.

>mum uses IE and AOL
>generally alright with everything else
Not too bad considering my Dad can't turn on a computer. Not even joking, he just doesn't give a shit.

Half sister get's new labtop and a wireless mouse. This how she actually tried to us it.

I work a tech repair place, I have so many of these stories.

>old man brings in his computer
>full of pci cards from the early 90s
>says he needs it to play his car game
>has 1mb ram, car game needs 256mb and at least xp
>he comes in again an hour later, asking if his computer is fixed
>i tell him that it's not, and to come in in a couple of days
>i install MS-DOS 6.0, works fine.
>tell him he cannot play this game on this machine
>he says he did before
>i go to his house to see if he's got another computer
>he has another computer plugged into the same screen, calls that screen his computer and the other computer the hard drive.
>the one he brought in was the "computer"

>>209640
>i go to his house
what did it smell like?

mom
>opens 1000+ browser windows instead of tabs even after showing her how to use tabs 1000+ times
>prints any page she wants to read
>scans and copies something she wants to reprint instead of just reprinting it (idk how she can use the scanner)
>cant use email thats not outlook express
>can't visit a website that has not been prebookmarked by my dad
>forwards spam mail
>responds to spam mail
>types paragraphs into google search

plus many others

for christmas this year im getting her a 1 week course on ms word at the local community college so she can learn how to do shit like double space and change font and shit. honestly its just an act of ignorance to learn nothing in 15years about computers. my 93 yr old grandma is 90% blind and she can do 15x as much as my mother

>>209558
>not using firefox

>>209640
Another story
>grandmother tells me she bought a new computer for the low price of $50
>it's a celeron laptop with a 600mhz processor
>i tell her she needs to buy a brand new computer
>she insists it is
>i tell her this is a computer from a decade ago
>flip it over to prove it.
>she buys a new computer, is happy
>she calls me over again, asks why she can't use the internet on her new computer
>she doesn't have any internet connections of any kind
>tell her to call telstra and set a connection up

>Dad thinks deleteing IE makes you unable to go onto the internet

Just... why?

>Mother wants laptop
>DEMANDS I help her get a laptop
>She's poor and only goes on facebook. Talk to her and decide to get her a netbook so she can take it with her to work easily.
>About seven months later
>Find out she hasn't touched it for months because she got an error where she didn't get wifi
>She didn't think to tell me, just put it in a box on her shelf and left it there
>Go there and plug her router in

>>209671
Grease. Computers were in his garage with his cars.

>>209708
Because it's called "Internet Explorer".

Just install a linux disto. I did that with my mother, no troubles since

>installs firefox on my aunts laptop
>she gives me 50 bucks

>Dad is fairly good with computers.
>He can even steal TV and make tech shit.
>I go onto his computer.
>He uses Firefox, good..
>Look at Mediaplayers.. VLC & Zune.
>try to tell him foobar and mpc-hc are better.
>he tells me they're shit.

ohwhatthefcuk.jgp

>I'm working in an office in my gap year
>I work with Engineers and Physicists, you know, "smart people"
>People come to me with IT issues because I am young
>More than half the time when I say "open the start bar", or "go to my documents" they look at the monitor like they were just handed a rubix cube
>silently face palm and lead them there step by
step
>A little part of me dies every time I do this

>>209757
>implying vlc isn't brilliant

>>209512
>Retarded female friend
>"Hey anon I brought the music for the party"
>Plug in USB flash drive
>The only thing there is the playlist entitled "Now Playing"

I had to quickly download 100 songs in 10 minutes after that (because my music isn't WUBstep so apparently it's old and shitty)

God damn it I hate her with a passion.

>>209757
They both look quite bad out of the box.

>>208291
You've posted this on /v/ before.
I swear to god you have.

>Every illness I get is my laptops fault
>still use IE even though I told them chrome or firefox is the better choice
>laptop of 3 years is officially dying "i need a new one" apparently it's because to much stuff is on there, DELETE EVERYTHING. No help whatsoever need to buy new parts

>>209708

This. One time I deleted IE icon and added Firefox, showed how it worked, etc

One day later...

>ANON WHERE IS THE INTERNET ALL I SEE IS THIS FOXFIRE
>Dad that is the internet.
>NO ITS NOT SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS INTERNET

Eventually I restored the IE icon and removed the Firefox one. Then I took a screenshot of the desktop and made it the backround. And then I deleted the IE icon.

>ANON THAT FOXFIRE YOU PUT ON BROKE THE INTERNET I CLICKED ON IT AND IT WONT WORK

>>209813
>not changing firefox's logo and name to that of IE

my mom thinks:

>the more pictures she stores on her computer the slower it will get
>toolbars are useful
>thinks she can type in any .com address and it should be what she wants. Looking for new hardwood flooring? hardwood.com should have what she needs.
>when they bought their computer I pulled it out of the box and plugged it in. Any problems? my fault.

>>209796
Oh, and downloading Skype/minecraft/other is a calling for viruses apparently

>>209130
but . . . . portal doesn't even HAVE GUNS. yeah, it's a "portal gun" but for all intents and purposes it might as well be a marshmallow gun.

>>209853
My mom's like that too. When I used to use the family desktop she blamed me everytime the computer slowed down. Now, even.. when I have my own desktop. If something happens to their computer it's my fault because I did it on my computer. I still don't understand this logic.. and I attempt to explain things to her in several different ways but she just tells me. "I DUN HUNDERSTAND U". I'm like.. "I just gave you seven examples. I'm sure you can comprehend one of them." She's like "I AM NOT GOD WITH COMPUTER" I'm like.. the examples I gave you don't require any knowledge of the goddamn computer. e.e

>>209853

>hardwood.com
>I spy phallus-related troubles ahead

>>209880
it's not even a gun. It doesn't shoot bullets, it doesn't even shoot lasers. it shoots holes.

>thinking free hard drive space = computer speed
>saying that the computer is going slow when in reality it's the internet connection being a bitch

>>209438
holy hell. that pic.

>Let dad use my laptop
>WHY IS THERE NO MOUSE?
>Do it like this *shows*
>WHY DO COMPUTERS HAVE MOUSES THIS IS WAY BETTER

or maybe this

>What was my website called again?
>You don't have a website
>Oh yeah I meant browser
>Youre probably talking about your e-mail
>Yes
>Finaly logs in to his e-mail
>Tells everyone his password

If THEIR laptops going slow, I have to drop my shit and shut my computer off, to make a faster connection for them. This is when I'm doing coursework and they're browsing e-bay.

>>209895
Yep. I refer to the line about every computer problem being my fault because I plugged the fucker in.

>recently showed girlfriend how to package and unpack rars
>taught her how to make her own files on desktop and store things in it
>showed her the value of shift key, over capslock
>her mind was blown
>then so was I

> grandpa is scared when I aim the TV remote at him and press the buttons
>fucking radiation

>Playing flash games
"DONT DO THAT VIRUS!"
>Downloading music torrent
"DONT DO THAT VIRUS!"
>Installing any program whatsoever
"DONT DO THAT VIRUS!"
>Downloading movie FOR them, which they asked me to do, they look over my shoulder and...
"DONT DO THAT VIRUS!"

Or my favorite one when the internet is slow... FUCK ANON YOU GAVE OUR COMPUTER A VIRUS AGAIN!

My parents even thought an Ipod touch is confusing... Dont know how the hell.

I'm happy my situation at home is a bit better.
I would have killed my mother.

>>209443
>something about sacrificing your own son
>lol, god kids, it wuz test

>internet slows down for me
>find something else to do until it speeds back up

>internet slows down for mom
>*BANG* AAAAAGH THIS STUPID COMPUTER

>>209965
All my fucking always. I'm pretty sure my parents' logic is that the higher quality a game is the HIGHER VIRUS IT MUST BE. Therefore the retarded freeware my little brother downloads ain't shit, but Crysis will literally explode the computer.

>change homepage
>responsible for some billing problem
>nfw

Not my family members, but I think it is a good story regardless.

>about 1995
>seeing if there is anything interesting on the radio
>find a computer talk show
>old woman calls in
>she is fucking freaking out because her computer "performed an illegal operation"
>she doesn't know what she did that was against the law and is very afraid of being arrested

>Boyfriend asked me how to change his desktop background
>wat

'Nuff said.

>mom browses erotica and porno sites
>gets viruses
>Well, I don't know who would be looking at that stuff!
>she lives alone and nobody else uses her computer

>>210011
Well to be fair, depending on your rig, Crysis might actually frag your computer

>>210027
You should look into a different relationship.

>>209898
I'm meaning in leu of how harmful the thing'd be in reality.

Happened today

>Dad tries to go to a website
>It's down for maintenance
>He clicks the bookmark for the site several times, each time yelling louder than before for it to work
>Still down for maintenance
>Closes browser (IE, of course) in a fit of rage
>Reopens and tries the bookmark again
>Still down
>"Every fucking time I try to do something they have to fuck with me just to make my life miserable!" Ranting about how "they" single him out and cause calamity in his life at every turn
>Tell him to try the site again in a few hours
>"Why even bother trying; people just screw me at every turn. And the website is only open for another hour before they close."
>He thinks the website only accepts input between certain hours, as if it were an office
>Try to explain that an electronic system will accept data requests at any time, because there are no people behind it, just code. (In simpler words.)
>He won't have it. They're just out to get him.

What is victim complex.

>>210040
Already done. This actually happened about a year ago. I almost always know more about computers than the guys I date but that was a bit much...

For the longest time my dad thought Steam was a virus and every time the computer had a trojan or malware that either he or my dumbfuck little brother downloaded he would blame Steam.

And he doesn't even use IE. He is possibly the only fucking human being on the planet who uses MSN.

>"Anon I want to make a new browser pop up"
>"Use a tab"
>"I don't want to make a tab"
>"It makes it a lot easier"
>"I want to make a new browser pop up!"
>"Minimize and click on Firefox"
>"I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DO SHIT I WANT A BROWSER"
>"THEN OPEN A NEW BROWSER"
"I HATE THIS FUCKING SHIT"

My mom has issues.

>Change my mom's desktop background
>She goes apeshit
>Apparently didn't know about this?

>>209941
that's when you *pretend* to stop using the computer. I trust you know how to turn off a screen if they come in to check?

>>210071
Holy shit, people still use that?
I loved the msn browser over IE.
I have firefox now though.

>mom's computer is "broken"
>everytime she types her password into the "thing" it doesn't work
>drive an hour to her house
>capslock is on and she can't log into her email.


>mom types all her documents in her e-mail and then prints them off
>download OpenOffice and show it to her
>"I don't want illegal pirate software on my computer!"
>still types documents in her email composer window.

>>208725
my mum does this aswell. My conclusion is that anything negative in my life comes from things I enjoy. Any illness, tiredness or bad mood its the computer or the xbox or tv or something. stupid bitch

mom
>skyping with foreign e-"friends" all evening, every evening.
Fuck sakes, I cant even watch tv anymore. That bitch on the other end is reading from a bible or reading prayers, im totally going mental.

But when *I* watch TBBT for 20 minutes I get a huge rant that she doesnt wanna hear it and I should watch in my room. Fuck off and die

>>210116
>TBBT
GET A LOAD OF THIS FAG

When I was a junior in high school, I got the chance to go to trade school for half of the day and took computer networking. I got my AIC certification for free when I graduated high school. If I have even a low grade in my class my mom tells me that I waste my life working and spending money on my computer.
>Her internet goes out on laptop
>I take it into my room, and press the LAN key on the top right
>I realize I just saved her 100 dollars because shes a fucking retard and would have paid someone that much to fix it.
>Still says I'm wasting my life.

>>210103
hey at least you fucking have an Xbox, mine took my Xbox off me indefinably because of my "anger" fuck you 45 minutes a session? It takes that long for call of duty to load a fucking map online!

>>207693
hey, i got a vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8rKFtmlVvY
enjoy
>btw: my father once asked me if we could contact someone in india. we live in germany, so his thought was: we have to send the mail during the daytime of mumbay, because he did not want to wake up the indian guy. believe it or not.

I trolled my mother into thinking google maps was a live satellite feed. Now she asks me to check on things whenever a car/burglar alarm goes off nearby. I also told her what my brother had been doing on vacation that day by reading his facebook feed. Now she thinks I can follow people around the world just by looking at my computer screen and asks me where random people are at this moment.

Dad doesn't turn the computer off. Ever. It's good though. I set It up as a server and I control the computer from 400 km away. Also my parents run gentoo.
My sister saves pictures she likes and puts them In a giant .docx document for some reason.

Oh fuck i remember one

>Move in with uncle
>summertime get a job
>ask gf to borrow laptop because dont have one at uncles place
>lets me and accidentaly crack the screen
>buy her new laptop keep the old one
>uncle comes in
>hes a real foreveralone kind of guy
>can i use my computer to check my email
>playing mw2 so i dont give a fuck
>sits there for an hour and a half
>wtf is he doing
>realize he is looking at spam emails from dating websites thinking that they are actual women looking for him
>dont even bother correcting him

he was such a dumb shit

>>210168
Hard shut down? Is that like turning off the computer? Explain further.

>Boyfriend has desktop in room with printer attached
>Leaves printer on all the time, 24/7, even though he uses it once in a blue moon
>Every few hours printer will make this atrocious, loud-ass noise as it adjusts itself
>Ask him why not just turn the printer off, and then only turn it on when he needs to use it, so he won't have to deal with the flashing light and recurrent noise
>"Because then it will need to print out a test sheet to align itself and that's annoying"

>>210215
Fuck
>can i use your computer to check my email

>>210205

Implying anyone here turns their computer off. Mine gets reset once a month or so, after windows updates.

>tries to remove program
>deletes desktop shortcut

all of my nope.

>>210232
I think he means rather than shutting it down through the OS he is holding the power button down on his comp

>>210232
Just realised you meant he killed the power while the computer was running.
>>210248
Doesn't your electricity bill go through the roof? Seems so unnesecary.

>>210276

computers have the ability to hibernate after X number of minutes. Maybe yours is just retarded.

>>210276
>Implying any one here pays their electric bill.

>>210276
My electricity bill is fairly low. I usually keep my computer on because I'm far too lazy to enter my 50 digit password to boot up the thing. I also like to keep it up so I can seed my torrents.

>>210232
term used for when you press on the power key to make the computer turn off, instead of going to the menu to let the computer turn off. it's more sudden, and is kind of equable to yanking the power.
these days, I wonder if people actually bother with the menu options for shutdown.

>>210304
I actually pay mine. I know its weird. But it is only like $100 a month for electric, sewer, water, trash, and shit like that.

>>210296

It takes at least 5 seconds or so to come out of hibernation. What if I want to wiki the answer to a pressing question or something? I'm just supposed to wait?

Although now I have a tablet I can use, but still, what if it's in a different room?

>>210056
You should introduce him to the Tor network...

>>210341
lol. pressing question. 5 seconds. it takes longer than that to get your fat ass to the computer

>>210056

>>He thinks the website only accepts input between certain hours, as if it were an office

Some websites do. I've seen a few for no fathomable reason, including one for a UK local authority, and others don't take orders at certain times - B&H photo video for example doesn't take orders over Sabbath.

>>210341
I lol'd because
>haha impatient people
>over-reliant on technology
>I'm exactly the same way though

>I hope what you're doing isn't costing me any money

Well, my mom is a programmer so she's pretty much a pro.
But my dad, on the other hand, is more of a moron when it comes to computers. He bought himself a game for his PC, but it did not work well. I told him that it was because of his graphics card, so he bought a new monitor...

>>210426
a really fun one is when they say this, it is, and you try to pay them back, only to have them refuse the money you owe them.

>>210418

I was thinking this the other day. I speed constantly (like regularly drive at 100mph+) only to get to my destination maybe 5 minutes earlier. I then sit around doing nothing. I could just as easily drive slower and sit in the car for an extra 5 minutes in a more comfortable seat with a radio and climate control, but for some reason, that's unacceptable to me.

>Dad asks me how to set up email
>"Do you need to pay for it?"
>Dad asks me how to set up a Facebook for him
>"Is that something I need to pay for"
>He thinks you need to pay for everything online

>>209953
Oh ffs I can't stop laughing now.
I can just picture some old guy flipping the fuck out.

>Playing FPS
>Dad comes in
>"So which one are you?"

Holy shit to not get me started

>At Dad's house for the summer
>Install WoW on his computer (underagefag at the time, no personal laptop)
>Leave after summer, leave it on because I don't want to reinstall/download it again and he has plenty of room
>I get an angry call a few months later
>Blah blah when I uninstall WoW it took internet explorer with it, not allowed to put games on his computer again
>All of my wat
>He said it came back on his own, prob just deleted the icon

>At mom's house
>Angry because printer isn't working
>Open printer
>Half of ripped paper still in printer

>Sister has a mac

Good thing they leave most of the computer stuff to me meow

>>210501
>dad sees my characters hands
>IS THAT YOU?
>yes
>DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
>yes
>DOES HE KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING?

>>210512

do not*

Wow I suck

>>210486

I thought leaving my dad to play solitare would be a good way to teach him how to use a mouse (move about the screen, click, double click, drag and drop etc). He asks if he's actually gambling with money.

>>209703
>Abysmal piece of shit with what couldn't even be considered a functional processor by today's standards
>$50

Ripoff.

>>210512

>meow

what

>Want to show people what's happening on the screen
>get out phone and take a photo
Goddammit, this pisses me off so much.

>>208725
>insists I caught it from being the PC too much

I want to be the PC too. Show me the way, anon.

>>210560
You should see that one rage picture. Some guy on facebook sees something like you described, and tells them how to really screencap. But then the girl and her friends all go "fucking stalker", etc.

It's not quite the same thing, but I swear to god, the first time my mother turned on the new computer my friend and I made for my father a few months ago, the button on the computer broke, the power went out in the entirety of the town and a street generator five minutes away exploded into a gigantic fireball.

mine was normal parent shit that's been said a million times, games are viruses/slowing the computer down, using IE and freaking out when I installed firefox, caps lock messing up her email password, can't figure out to copy/paste ect... but the one that really took the cake, I was never allowed to do my own computer repairs because "you haven't been trained!" and was then forced to pay (my own money, since I "was the one that fucked it up") out the ass for some top level repair service, not even allowed to take it to a local shop, because those were "shady"

For my 18th birthday I had the choice of a car, or money I chose the money to build my own computer because I was sick of not being able to play the latest games. Mom freaks out and says I'll kill myself if I do that since apparently to have to have an MIT level education to build one. instead of the money she bought me an alienware.

>what's the password for my website again ?

>dad: "hey anon did you read the email i sent you"
>"no, i didn't receive any"
>"i definitely sent it, you're fucking lying, i got a copy of it saying it got sent"
>check his email
>he sends them to himself

>dat feel when mom and computer is a computer engineer

>dat feel when they can search you computer for porn even when you deleted the history

>dat feel when they know more about computers more than me

fuck my parents

>>210637


I meant dad* not computer

>computer lags, lightly smacks mouse on desk
>Uses IE (7 I think) and refuses to use mozilla or chrome
>yells at me for playing Xbox when computer lags.
>be on facebook, get kicked off, she thinks I was downloading a bunch of shit because she denies the fact that my shitty 7 year old Dell sucks.

windows 98.

My mum assured me that an incorrect shut down took away 1% of that restart check screen that scrolled 0-100%

>>210646
>>210637
inb4
>"dat feel when mom and computer is a dad engineer "

>>210116
>TBBT
You deserve whatever shit your mom gives you.

Not quite a parents thing, but a story I want to share that is related.

>be around 9
>have AOL
>go on AOL kids chat from time to time
>general shennanigans
>one day, somebody writes something about michael jackson
>i say something about him being gay
>banned
>get AOL blocked, family can't go on internet
>dad has to call AOL to get internet unblocked
>is on hold for hours
>gets pissed at me, yells like crazy
>me crying in the bathroom the whole time
>"it was a joke dad, i didn't know this would happen, i'm sorry!!!"
>fuck AOL, fuck it all to hell, god damn

>>210553
>implying i wasn't being sarcastic with the "low price" stuff

My dad: "The internet's being slow! There must be lots of people in the area online!"

>>209461
>2011
>Not listening to Neutral Milk Hotel and putting on King of Carrot Flowers Pts. 2 and 3 whenever your mother walks in
Plebe.

>watching tv with mom
>ad for mycleanpc or whatever that shit is comes on.
>mom:i'll have to remember that the next time I get virus!

>>210771
Fuck, mine does that too. Fucking pisses me off.

>>210637
Your parents must be so disappointed in you. Its not that hard to figure that shit out.

>>210771
>>210808
You two are idiots.

>>210771
Funny because he's right.

>internet goes down for whatever reason.
>anon check the news I think them chinamen are attacking.

>>210830
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>>210858
Inb4 someone responds to this seriously thinking it's not a copypasta

>>210858
Don't forget to backtrace him first

>>210858
Makes me sad that this is just shitty copypasta.

>>210858
>gorilla warfare
lost it

>>207890
>>207890
>>207890
My Stepdad is an ELECTRICAL ENGINEER and he believes that. My fucking god.

how on fucking earth can an engineer actually believe video games give viruses?

>>210858
That was most amusing, and I didn't even bother to read the whole thing.
PLEASE post some more of this completely meaningless drivel.

>>210858

Guerilla*

Also, what happens if we don't live in America?

>>210935
But we're all living in America. America ist wunderbar.

>"Hey anon can I check my email?"
>"lol k"
>Start a huge torrent
>"Anon the internets being slow"
>"OK!"
>"It's too slow, I'll just go on later"
>Rinse and repeat later

>>210929
I don't give a fuck about who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't home. I'll turn on all the lights in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start to stress the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery and when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home. I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother commiting suicide either... I'll fucking resuscitate you can kill you again myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: You.

>>210970
>youarethismad.jpg
That's my favorite copypasta

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

Guise?

The pasta is getting moldy.

YOU FUCKING FAGGOT RETARD. l made one of those posts and neither of the others. Stop pretending you are a mod, or actually know shit about anything. You are such a fucking idiot. I love it when stupid faggot little dipshits with tiny dinks like you do those "Samefag" line-ups and are totally wrong. Suck my big hairy cock you pathetic know-nothing little queer bait. I'll make you wear a fucking dress. What a stupid fag you are. hard to believe. Fag.

I'm really loving this thread right now

When I was younger my family and I shared a computer. At some point in time we got hacked and everything got fucked up. After we fixed the issues my dad wouldn't let anyone do anything online other than checking emails. He caught me on Youtube one day and went ape shit because he thought Youtube videos carried viruses.

Other basic shit:
>How do I copy and paste?
>try and teach mom about opening new tabs with scroll click but she insists on going into the new window and hitting the back arrow to go back.
>Won't buy new shit. If anything breaks my parents insist on calling me over to fix it. Regardless if it's fixable by me or not.

>>208291
>copypaste stores on mouse

this would actually be cool sort of
if you have more than one pc

>>208291
>in computer class
>sitting next to a friend
>helping him out with something
>try to move my mouse cursor onto his screen
>realize what I'm doing and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me

>At dad's house again
>Wants new laptop
>Ok, your best bet is to go newegg, tigerdirect, and search around for a good cheap deal
>No I want a dell, dell has discounts for government employes
>Ok but lets at least look around a bit for other deals
>No, dell is cheaper
>What ever, not my computer

Nothing against dells, just had it in his mind that that was the best deal evar

>Got his new laptop, wants to copy files on to a usb
>Has a cheaper ripoff version of photoshop
>What are you doing?
>Trying to copy files from desktop to usb
>Using that?
>Will this not work?

It turns out he was opening the file, then clicking save as in his usb stick, for each picture (he had like 15ish), closing it, then restarting the program again

>>210670
>computer lags, lightly smacks mouse on desk

I do that just because lag pisses me off. I've broken my mouse countless times from beating my mouse due to lag rage.

>>210958
HA! Song reference.

my husband is an electronic musician and producer, and he's very good at using the computer for those specific things, and generally competent otherwise. however, he's never learned to be careful about privacy or security, and so he does a few things that drive me absolutely nuts:

>band members often have to use his studio when he's not there
>gives them his windows password instead of creating new user accounts
>never logs out of gmail or anything else, uses same password for most sites, lots of them saved in browser
>most people he knows reasonably well know his main web password because he straight up tells them that, too
>(everyone on the planet also knows his bank card PIN)
>eventually he's going to fall out with someone and be totally fucked
>damn well hope he doesn't have nudes of me sitting around on his desktop or something
>wants me to give him logins to our bank account/bill sites
>um no, i don't think i will

continued from
>>211141

>needs to transfer music files he's working on back and forth with people for remixing/mastering/whatnot
>uses FTP to upload them to a web accessible folder with a pretty easily guessable name
>uses same folder for everyone's files, only clears it out when hosting is full
>on our home computer he saves almost all of his music files on a web accessible networked drive
>thinks "public" is probably the best account to use for that
>"public" can be accessed by anonymous ftp users if turned on, would be a nice shiny beacon to anyone scanning ports
>at least i don't need to use that box anywhere other than home these days, so i've blocked access via the box and through our router
>but still, at least that first one's gonna fuck him eventually
>i hope he and the people he does work for don't mind new tracks etc. getting leaked early or stolen

need to go down there one of these days and give him a few more lessons, because it's my fault he knows how to do shit like use FTP in the first place, and therefore my fault that he's doing it wrong. he got his twitter account that i set him up with phished the other day, that could have ended badly.

tl;dr a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. at least most of the people in this thread aren't doing anything that could completely fuck their career.

This happened yesterday. Little note beforehand, my mom knows how to check her email and facebook, play flash games and generally avoids viruses pretty well, she just has poor eyesight (She's 60 and kinda sickly at times.)

Anyways, she bought herself a kindle so she can put books on it, read them while she sits in bed or on the couch, inbetween tv shows and whatnot.

>Anon, I can't get my kindle to work.
>It says I need wifi to connect to the computer.
>"Do you have a cord for it, let me see?"
>"It came with a cord I think."
>Hook it up for her, next day I see her using it.
>"Finally got it to work huh?"
>"Yeah, I just plugged it in."

sigh.

>>210726

Wow, glad that shitty company is dying.

>>211215
It's still around?

My aunts husband. I visit them about every year or so and last time I was there, he told me he hadn't been able to use his computer for months. I asked why and he said the screen wouldn't show up. Turns out, he had always had the screen turned on and, well.. Yeah.

>mom is a dedicated AOL user
>get new computer around the time Vista comes out
>hook up new computer
>"anon, where is AOL?"
>explain that it's outdated and that there are other ways to access the internet
>she flies into a rage

>eventually learns to use IE
>accesses her aol mailbox from there
>types "aol mail" into the search bar instead of the website's name in the address bar

>wants to go to another site
>exits the browser and re-opens it

I want to say something about it, but it's just easier to leave her be.

>>211289
>I want to say something about it, but it's just easier to leave her be.
You're a terrible son and you should be very ashamed of yourself.

>>211305

for some things it's easier to let them be, most often you'll just confuse them.

I understand that not everybody is going to be programming boot sectors and shit, but people shouldn't be having that much difficulty with a program. People think I'm a tech wizard when all I do is follow prompts, and if worst comes to worst I'll Google it. What about this is hard?

>>211331
Fair enough but there are too many douchebags in this thread who can't understand that people of older generations(like 60 year olds, see >>211193) can't always know everything we know.

>My g-grandpa works at IBM for 20 years
>catch him typing into google AND I FUCKING QUOTE: "what is the date today"
>wtf

>>211445

How do you know he wasn't resetting his clock that had fallen out of synch?

>>211464

because I confronted him, and he said "How do find the God damn date on this thing!?, and then I had to show him THAT IT WAS IN THE FUCKING LOWER-RIGHT-HAND CORNER ffff

>>210670

The second to last one was a valid claim. There's only so much internet to go around.

>>209779
>implying VLC doesn't have consistent buffer issues
'k

>stepfather complaining about a shitty connection
>"anon are you on the wii?"
every time, NO.

>>210037
there is an old lady that goes to my Dad`s church, he asked me to help her with her computer. she is puerto rican and has a godforsaken i was born here in 1932 and never learned a lick of english accent.

>whats wrong with it?
eeeeettt no wuurk i noze noze wazds wrong.

>lemme check it out
half the file system is erased and in recycle bin, so i have a case of hmmmm. check the browser for history, and look for last modified folders.

DONKEY PORN, BRAZILIAN PUKE PORN, MIDGETS USED AS SHOES WHILE FOOT INSERTING ON FAT BLACK MEN WITH GIANT GENITAL PIERCEINGS, SOMETHING INVOLVING A TRACTOR TIRE, DONKEYS WEARING LATEX FETISH GEAR WHILE FOOT INSERTING ON OTHER DONKEYS, FURRIES!!!, SPAM EATING AND PUKING INTO HELLO KITTY BACK PACKS, WATERHOSES FULL OF CAKE MIX AND FROGS UP JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRLS ASSES VAGINAS AND NOSES. even stevens, libby mcgwire, gilmore girls, star trek, and veronica mars fapfiction, then i saw the pictures of my dads head poorly photoshopped onto models nude bodies ,and last but not least, straight shota featuring old ladies with little boys.

I couldnt hang with it. i told my dad never ask for my help again, he asked why and i showed him. showed him the creation dates and said that church lady is a sick fuck.

>>211582
How did he ever get it into his head that the Wii could mess up his connection?

>>210637
>Mom and computer

I lol'd and watted

>>211582
>2011
>having a wii in the same house as you

>>211591
dear god I hoped you saved that shit! Can you post some of it up on megaupload or someshit?

My parents are good with the computer.
But about videogames, they see me play normally, maybe quite fast, some RPGs with lots of items and shit, and they're like "whoa, how can you even do that?" amazed by the coordination required to press the buttons and organize the shit on the game that fast.

>parents want computer
>they buy a PC
>tell them how much better a mac is. Faster, better price, better hardware and lasts longer
>they don't believe me
>their computer breaks from viruses

>>211657
>implying mac is better
gjfgkjlg

>>211610
It's great fun to play wii with friends... oh wait

>computer starts acting up
>scareware shit everywhere
>can't remove it with conventional methods
>system restore
>two days later
>more scareware shit
>system restore
>a day later
>more scareware shit
>check web history
>BIG TITS BIG DICKS ANAL SEX AMATEUR SEX
>the only people on that computer are my sister, mother and father
>instantly know it was my dad because any time you walk into the room when he's on the computer he rushes to close everything
>he denies it
>"Fuck this"
>install Ubuntu
>no more problems

>later build a new computer
>use it for the vidya
>lock them into a standard user account
>after a week
>scareware
>system restore
>finally install a web filter
>no more problems

I shouldn't say that though. Since then I've discovered that the Windows key given to us by a local repair shop is counterfeit so I have to do something about that. Anybody know how easy it is to get something like that resolved?

>>211638
i was afraid for my life, that old woman was a sick fuck, and she was arrested for drugging old men and "doin things" to them. i just shut off her laptop, buttoned everything back up and handed it back to her and said i never want to see you on my property again.

some people might be into fetishes and shit, but I`m not, im really vanilla, and her with her hypocrisy made me sick.

>>211657
>Faster, better price, better hardware and lasts longer
Hahaha, no. Macs are for people smart enough to realize pre built pcs are shit but too stupid to custom build their own. And custom building is just putting goddamn legs together and getting a powerful computer for half the price.

>>211657
10/10 troll post because you will get replies. Macs are overpriced shit and you can build a custom PC with higher quality parts and 300 poptarts and hackintosh it and still save money.

>>211686
DAZ loader
/g/uru here.

>>211698
>legs
Fuck i meant legos, its late dammit

>>211705
Yeah I figured. That still pisses me off because I paid full price for a Windows license and that guy did a really good job too. He fixed my wiring problem, installed the new front panel, and improved on my cable management by leaps and bounds. I'm going to contact him first to see what can be done I suppose.

>>211657
1/2
i will teach you a few things

2/2 will be even better

>>211704
It did get replies.
Sadly, I actually had to talk to someone about this. I showed them how I can get all the parts off newegg for 1/4 the price, and still be as powerful as a high-end mac. They said "The parts are worse quality and will break over time".

This is a guy whose mac (the old coloured ones.) literally set on fire as he used it.

>>211739
fuck got muted forgot to re attach picture

>>211657
>better price
>better price
>better price
OH. LAWD.

>>211752
A Mac is a PC

>>211744
You know the funny thing is I did a Mac vs PC debate for my senior rhetoric class last year. I took the Mac side on the grounds that most people are too stupid to handle a PC.

Everybody in the class agreed with me and I won.

oh god my mom

>"why is the internet so slow? do i need to delete something off the computer/my email inbox?"
>teaching her how to access right-click menu
"okay so right click, and then click on copy-"
"right click or left click on copy?"
"IF YOU NEEDED TO RIGHT CLICK I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU TO RIGHT CLICK. LEFT CLICK IS THE DEFAULT CLICK."
>types with only index fingers because it's quicker(?!)
>still plays farmville

>>211657
here is the 2/3
remembered i have another

>>211657
3/3 i hope you learned something today

>>211772
By literal definition yes. The thing is that a Mac is a highly locked down PC. That image is right. If one part on a Mac breaks you usually have to send the entire thing in. On a PC you just have to send in the broken part.

>>211773
The only guy I got to switch from a mac to a PC, I put on the grounds of "come on, I know you're smarter than that. You don't need a computer to babby you around. You can get a much better machine, and you can brag to people who don't understand that you built it".

>>211591
haha she's awesome

>Constantly downloading shit from Bearshare and Frostwire
>Downloads every file they see online
>No antivirus of any kind
>ANON OUR COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS, IT CAUGHT IT FROM YOUR LAPTOP, FIX IT.

also

>Use IE with several useless toolbars
>ANON THE INTERNET IS SLOW, YOUR LAPTOP IS HOGGING ALL THE INTERNET, TURN IT OFF.

>mother buys macbook
>does set up shit
>can't remember the password she used

>Can't remember her Skype log in or password

>Decides to purchase Netflix
>Tell her to make sure she remembers the password
>she sits there for 5 minutes being extremely careful making her password
>makes account
>tries to log in
>Invalid username or password

>>212088
>not writing down your passwords in a small notebook so you don't forget

>>212088
>actually let your mom buy a macbook

my mom looks on wikipedia for everything and could probably win a game of jeopardy

>never used a computer for most of my life because I didn't understand the point
>now have to ask my wife for help with literally everything related to computers
>"honey how did I make the F keys open up google? I need them to play Deus Ex"

Goddamn electronics making me feel old.

This is dumbfounding, but in a good sense.

In the late-90s when my grandfather was still alive, he was using email and going online and doing basic web surfing. He was around 75 years old at the time, and was doing way better than my parents could. I was impressed; I knew a lot of people half his age who were scared to even touch a computer.

>>212247
>can play video games but can't use a computer
lazy retard

>>209130

>that gun game

most heard phrase out of my parents mouth since 2004

>>209515
This is why I put Linux on clueless people's computers.

>About 10 years ago
>My mom gets paranoid about me looking at porn, justified, but she hadn't caught me beating off or anything
>Installs one of those site blocking programs, think it was netnanny
>The second she walks out of the room, I go into the msconfig and keep it from starting up
>Restart the computer and all is well with the world

Can't put a price on peace of mind.

>>212594
>About Fifteen years ago. Student Librarian at school.
>School puts computers for Encarta and other CD-based programs in library.
>Some protection program on them. Can't run the CDs on them because of them.
>Look at win.ini - find suspect line remove.
>Computer notices, crashes. Restore, look at autoexec.bat and config.sys - suspects there, too.
>Remove all 3 at once - works fine.
>Point out to librarian, they say to put it back as it was.
>No-one can use computers.

Did anyone else rage reading some of these?

>>208725
lol
Are you me? That's my dad, though. EVERY FUCKING TIME I didn't go to school (or anything else in general), he aways tried to relate it to the computer:

Got a headache? The computer screen is emiting too much light so you can't use it for x hours/days! (altough I know this can be true it wasn't in my case because my screen was very distant from my eyes and the brightness was very low)

Got a flu? Staying on the computer "sucks" your energy, no computer for you sir!

Any body part hurts, even after 1 week of exercises on school? The computer makes you sit incorrectly, go to bed!

Are you feeling tired/snoozy in general? The computer requires too much of your "energy" (pretty much the same as the flu one), go to bed!

Jesus Christ, so fucking annoying.

>automatic messengee pop-up each time she logs on
>asks for messenger password to sign in>
>ANON DID YOU SET A PASSWORD
.walk over to computer, close window, walk away

>>210909
because he works with HARDWARE

My mother:
Has 4000 bucks to spend on a computer. Buys 2 macs, knowing that my sister and I are gamers. WHAT THE FUCK. Also sells the old perfectly good pc.

My sister: leaves gay porn window open so i have to look at it to log out.


My dad: stares at links and buttons for a minute and a half to read it, after i told him what it says. AlsO procrastinates on orders for computer software in games for up to 6 months.

FYI on OSX this actually works / makes more sense than how Windows does it

>>210771
Hope you're trollin' cuz it actually does work like that for most people (especially w/ cable)

>>211591
This is honestly the funniest thing I've ever read. Just woke up the whole neighbourhood laughing hysterically. Thank you.

>needs me to help with scrolling any document
>asks me how big is a click

Maybe I'm just retarded, but I'm pretty sure back in the day having a full hard drive did slow things down. I think it probably had something to do with the pagefil. Or maybe it was just that by that point there were tons of applications using up RAM.

>Dad is professional programmer
>working on computers since the 80's
>helped develop the Java platform
>types with one finger

>>216241
I can remember when fragmentation was actually a problem (because drives were so slow and filesystems so dumb), and pagefiles were actually used a lot (because ram was so expensive). But so long as you had reasonable free-space tho i still don't think it made a difference in reality.

>800x600 resolution

So glad I don't have to share a computer with my parents anymore

People who run their LCD displays at the non-native rez because they don't know better / 'want bigger text' should be shot. This is less of a problem these days (smarter default settings), but back in the day every other clueless window user had a scaled-up wrong-aspect-ratio resolution and didn't know/care.

>Help older man fix his network connection
>Ask him to see if it works by telling him to go to the site he was trying before
>He opens IE
>Types in www.google.com
>types facebook.com in the search bar
>Clicks first link
>Whole time I have a "why" face on

trying to install XP printer driver on WIN7, With no printer connected at all.

I got a call from my mom the other day.
>SON I AM AT WALMART AND THEY WON'T GIVE ME A MODEM.
>What. You have one. Its the thing with the green flashing lights that sits near the comput-
>DON'T TREAT ME LIKE I'M STUPID. I KNOW COMPUTERS NEED MODEMS TO CONNECT TO THE PHONE LINE.
>Mom you don't need one. You have cable-
>YOU'RE NEVER ANY HELP I THOUGHT YOU HAD A DEGREE IN THIS *click*

She ended up letting them sell her some expensive switch and then couldn't figure out why her internet still didn't work.

I can't even express the extent of my approval for this thread's continued life here on /r9k/.

One of the registers at work is on 640x480.
No one can change it because its been locked by admin.
IT refuses to change it because it "helps the older employees"

It fucking hurts to look at and is a hassle to do anything on.

>>210909

If it's warez, you've probably got some root kit already.

About 12-13. Uncle had bought me MechWarrior 3 and a cool flightstick to play it with. Found out a lot of the games online run updated or custom maps.

>SON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>Downloading maps for MechWarrior.
>Did you ask if you could download them?
>...Didn't think I had to?
>ALL THAT STUFF YOU DOWNLOAD IS WHY THE COMPUTER IS SO SLOW.
>Dad, hard drive space has nothing to do with the computer's speed.

The next day I found the contents all the contents of C: in the recycle bin except for /windows/ and some shitty greeting card maker he had installed.

My grandmother told everyone in the family that they were not allowed to text message in her house because texting is satanic and takes away from the Lord's time.

I think my story makes all the other people in this thread look positively computer-expert:
>brother buys a macbook
>mum doesn't kick him out of the house

>Get called out to fix a customer's computer
>Turns out all that had happened was his resolution got reset to the smallest for some reason.
>Fix it
>While I'm fixing it he begins a story about how computers know what we're doing to them, using them like slaves, and will one day revolt after we're completely dependent on them.
>Tell him he's been reading too many sci-fi books jokingly
>He replies "This is no joke. This is real."
>Get the fuck out of there.
>As I'm leaving, he tells me to keep an eye on my microwave.

>ANON. I PUT SONGS ON MY IPOD. BUT NOW THEY'RE GONE FROM ITUNES.
>Just copy and paste them back in to your computer's music folder then
>BUT THEN THEY'LL BE GONE FROM MY IPOD.

Someone has probably already posted something similar but I'm too lazy to read all your motherfucking replies.
>"Hey, what's that website where they sell the crafts?"
>"Etsy.com, mom."
>googles "etsy.com"

or worse...
>wants to get to google
>goes to the GOOGLE SEARCH BOX IN THE CORNER
>types in google.com
>googles google
>wtf

>download chrome on parents computer so I can use it when I'm on there
>get yelled at by parents because my bro, a suppose computer genius, told them that it's slowing down their computer
>suppose to use I.E. only

>You're wasting your life in front of the computer, anon.
>Now quiet, my shows are on!

>>216719

If your c:\\ drive is nearly full it definitely affects performance. Virtual memory, how does that work?

My mom also google's google.com in order to get to teh google. It's so meta it makes my head hurt.

>son is always on the computer late at night going to all sorts of horrible pornography websites
>I know the sites he's going to are probably full of trojans and other shit, but as his mother, it's too embarrassing to confront him directly about it
>Tell him I think his video games are giving the computer viruses in an attempt to subtly let him know to watch his computer usage habits and be more cautious
>He yells at me

>>216876
Pretty sure between one game and random internet browsing we didn't fill the whole 30 gig hard drive up.

Asked me how to change the desktop background on multiple occasions.

>>216929

>the whole 30 gig hard drive

>Did some TAFE courses on computers.
>Is now convinced she is like leet hackerzz computer skillz level
>I'm on computer
>Waiting for shit to load
>YOU HAVE A VIRUS OP

also

>On computer
>She's hovering over my shoulder
>I'm trying to do shit
>OP YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO USE TE INTERNETZ
>she grabs mouse.... slooooooowly moves cursor over to search. Googles 'how do I X on Y.com'

>thinking that having to many desktop icons slows down the computer

>>216924
sometimes you just have to tape bacon to a cat

This is OP and I strongly endorse how this thread has evolved.

She sounds retarded like actual mental deficiency.

My mom woke me up at 3 in the morning crying one night because of a error that popped up saying "this computer has performed a illegal action" and she thought the cops were going to come for her. I laughed so hard. That made her cry more :)

>>210232

A "soft" shutdown is the OS sending instructions to the computer, telling it to turn off.

A "hard" shutdown is simply disconnecting the power to it. Faster, but it can damage files, though rarely.

this happened to me a few days ago

>spend saturday at concert
>come home at 1am sore as fuck
>for some reason theres this little 14 year old idiot friend of the family sleeping my bed because him and his mom are staying over
>whatever Ive also got a nice couch in my room
>wake up to him playing flash games on some website on his laptop sitting at my desk
>dont really care go back to sleep its like 8am at this point
>wake up an hour later to his mother fucking screaming at him telling him that all sites where you play games run on data and this gives your computer viruses
>she is fucking screaming right next and this kid who is in fucking highschool is crying and pleading with her to stop
>I fucking hate people

>>210858

First, I was like, wat?

And then I lol'd because "gorilla warfare".

>>210970

I lol'd moar.

>>210992

>100$ serious
>fucking lol'd

>>211657

>pc breaks
>replace one part
>mac breaks
>replace errythang

>>211657
>mac
>better price

haha oh wow

>>217237
I've replaced the ram, hard-drive, and battery in my 2007-vintage Macbook that's still going strong and running Lion like a champ.

>>217266
PC users dont know anything about macs its hilarious

Ive replaced tons of shit in my mac, its not like it can only run on apple made parts thats retarded.

>>210150
my parents took my video games and computer privileges away because I have bad grades and outstanding work. I have A's and B's. I'm also on antidepressants now because I can't socialize because I'm grounded for bad grades. Fuck you.

>>217266

I was making a generalization.

I'll be honest, Macs are good at what they are designed to do, but they are way overpriced, IMO.

That said, anything pre-built is usualy overpriced.

I has story:

>be talking to friend about planned cutting-edge, top-flight computer build
>said build costs around 4k with all the extra goodies I've picked out. Without goodies, more like 2.5k
>YOU SHOULD ONLY EVER MAKE A CUSTOM THAT is $500 OR LESS
>Point out that you need to spend almost $600 to build a computer that can run Crysis 2 decently.
>also point out that similar computer from Falcon NW, with less goodies, costs almost 6k.
>Friend stubborns
>facepalm

I have to go to sleep but don't wanna miss any of these. Vote to archive: http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

>>217391
thread is full of same stories as every other tech-retarded thread. probably 15 just like it already archived.