ads

>Anti-personal mines kill our personal.
>rename all personal to operators
>problem minefield?

>Anti aircraft missiles giving US aircraft problems.
>Use jet powered hand glider
Problem AA?

>IED blowing up troops
>Steal IED plans from terrorists
>Mass produce said schematic
>IED is no longer IED but instead a regular bomb

M855 is only semi-penetrating, it will stick fuck you up if you get shot without armor.

Pic related.

>Troops complain about stopping power but want the ability to shoot far distances with a light firearm.
>Issue a .44 magnum revolver with a long barrel to troops.
TO THE TOWN OF AGUA FRIA ROAD A STRANGER ONE FINE DAY

>>11378994
nah, those are lies. Guns either hit your DT or your health directly.

>Bolt-action rifles have to manualy cycled
>Rename "bolt-action" to "semi-automatic"
>It now cycles on it's own


>>11378994
>The joke
>
>
>
>
>Your head

>>11378880

>Military uses armor defeating bullets
>Don't use armor
>Bullets do nothing

But it's true, when you use armor-piercing ammunition, it does less damage to one's HP, especially when not wearing armor. All good video games say so.

> Suicide bombers harassing troops
>Change definition of suicide bomber to baby
>No more attacks

Problem Taliban?

>>11379019
>suddenly, nugget armed death squads conquer everything.

>>11378994
>only notable injury is when bullets fragment 5 inches in
>be anorexic
>no serious bullet injuries
>child soldiers acceptable too

>tank guns fire depleted uranium shells
>they only put small holes in things
>replace the depleted uranium with active uraniums
>out tanks can now fire nuke shells
>problem taliban?

>>11379019

I know it's a joke. But the military doesn't issue AP boolits otherwise they might have just used .22LR in the middle east.

On another point of view, one can argue that AK mags strapped to a chest form an intermediate barrier that must be defeated.

Either way, OP's first joke makes no sense.

>military has TOW missiles
>Wire guided to steer the missile
>Apply that to bullets

>Taliban attacking because US troops on their soil
>issue hoverboots and make floating FOBs
>win the war on terror

>>11379019
>>11379034
>>11379052
>>11379058
>>11379066
>>11379068
>>11379071

This is why I love /k/

>>11379068
It's a joke based on video games (Fallout: New Vegas is one example I can think of) where unarmored targets take less damage from AP ammunition.

>A-10 warthog AKA BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT is only sub-sonic
>lower the speed of sound
>BRRRRRRRRRTTT is now supersonic

>Terrorist take down twin towers inciting a war
>Invent time machine and take down twin towers yourself
>Problem terrorists?

>Gov't regulates machineguns
>Invent "boomstick" that fires multiple "bolts" with every pull of the "booger hook"
>Problem ATF?

>EFPs destroying trucks and tanks
>Attach fleshlights to vehicles
>Penetrators now useless.

>>11379108
HAHA oh wow

>Illegals crossing river into US
>Build a wall
Problem mexicunts?

>>11379085

I play videogames too. I'm familiar with the concepts of HP and armor.

>>11379058

7.62x51 needs 6 inches to start tumbling. Your move.

>>11379085
Well, they would compared to jhp wouldn't they?

>Vehicle have trouble due to fuel limitations
>Tape down the fuel gage on everything
>Suddenly unlimited fuel

>jets can be shot down with heatseeking missiles
>make jet fire burn cold
>Problem missiles?

>>11379108
Oh gawd i lol'd

>>11379145

>missiles would then seek "cold"
>instead of flares carry ice cubes

>Troops complain about weight of carrying AT4 Rocket
>Military training manual details AT-4s as "0.00kg"
>Troops can now carry 10000 rockets
>Problem?

>IED's triggered by cellphones
>Bankrupt cellphone companies
>Problem insurgents?

>>11379108
>Military covers vehicles with fleshlights
>AP rounds don't do jack shit
>Develop dragon dildo rounds.
>FRA is now useless

Your move

>Humvee has to little armor, low mobility, and low firepower
>fit the humvee with thick armor plates, tracks and a cannon
>humvee is now greatest vehicle ever

>>11379170

>DARPA Develops Dragon Vaginas(tm)
>Dragon Dilsabot now useless.

>Taliban hides in caves
>Flood the middle east with bears
>Problem Terrorists?

>IEDs are blowing the legs off of soldiers
>amputate the soldiers legs before deployment
>IEDs can't blow their legs off anymore

>fuel economy problem on tanks
>install mpg gauge
>when you floor it, it makes mpg go down
>make horribly inefficient engine
>floor it
>mpg goes down past 0 mpg
>negative miles per gallon
>generates fuel

ill be rich

>>11379058
>only notable injury is when bullets fragment 5 inches in
>can't into skin elasticity

Ballistics gel isn't supposed to be an accurate representation of the human body. There's lungs to collapse, bones to break, etc.

The 12" FBI standard must have been set to fight mutants, by your logic.

>>11379226
>IED's blowing up our soldiers
>Attach propelors to their backs
>Soldiers can now hover in the air and move faster
>Suddently Blitzkrieg of men

>enemy combatants posing as civilians
>drop atom bomb on entire cities
>problem civilians dressed combatants?

>>11379239
12 inch FBI standard is to ensure exit wound, because exit wounds bleed MUCH faster than entry wounds, and loss of blood pressure is primary incapacitation factor with pistol wounds.

>>11379234
what
i mean, i dont even

>big 50 caliber bullets are more powerful than normal small bullets
>but they are too big to fit in normal rifles
>make 50 cal bullets smaller
>put them in the normal rifles
>m4 carbine now the most powerful infantry weapon in the world

>Hollow tip bullets can't be used by military
>Change definition of hollow tips to Full metal jacket

>>11379201
>Enemy develops a petroleum bomb with a uranium rod behind it that burns away the rubber.
your FRA is now rendered defective.
uranium penetrates are effective again.

>>11379289

>Develop anti-uranium rubber and dildos.
>Manufacture it to be reactive, to explode into tiny shrapneldildos

>>11379239
...you seem to have missed the entire point of not only my post, but the thread as well.

>m16 jams
>wash off
>coat with butter
>now there isnt any jam

>drone UAVs aren't as maneuverable and responsive as normal planes
>put pilots in them
>Drone now much more numerable and good

>>11379306
well fuck. I'm out of ideas.

>>11379308
We can cure world hunger by issuing kits to freedom fighters in Africa. We can also issue a baguette cleaning kit. When you are full, who the fuck wants to fight?

>A-10 has to rearm after going BRRRRT
>Attach each round with a wire
>Simply retract the round back into the barrel
>Millions saved.

>M16 keeps jamming
>make it give up on it's dreams of becoming a jazz musician
>M16 stops jamming and starts working

>>11379338

>World hunger?
>Define daily recommended intake of calories minimum at 10
>No more world hunger

>Can't see the Taliban in the mountains?
>Change the graphics package
>Taliban now stand out

>>11379369
lol

>AK too reliable
>Sell tapco magazines to russians/terrorists

TOP OF THE WORLD BABY

>radar are radio waves that bounce off stuff
>they detect our planes
>make planes with cool shapes that go inbetween the radar waves
>not detected

problem, radar fags?

>JDAMs are laser guided
>laser is light
>hold up mirror to jet trying to bomb you
>the JDAM guides itself into the jet and blows up

>Taliban is Harnessing SAMs to take down blackhawks
>Make Blackhawks with wheels for ground transport through hot zones
>no longer airborne
>SAMs no longer a threat

problem taliban?

>>11379349

mfw the sound is

TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRB

>>11379415
or
>JDAMs are laser guided
>laser is light
>Build base out of mirrors
>the JDAM guides itself away from the base

>Trick Afgans into buying tapco furniture for AK
>Tapicoa pudding stocks and handguards melt
>America wins.

>>11379369
>>11379369

>make robots
>make a programs for people to download so that they can pilot these robots
>dont tell them that and make its a CoD set up
>xX420XxN0$C0P3[MLG]BLUNTZxX420Xx wins the war on terror

>RADAR detects stuff
>Radar moves at the speed of light
>make stuff go faster than the speed of light

Imma be rich

>>11379456
>terrorists make a program just like it
>people now fight the war for them
>no casualties
>the entire world follows up with it
>world peace
im gonna be fucking rich bro

>>11379472
counterstrike?

>Soldiers return from combat with shell shock/PTSD
>Rename PTSD, Party Time Sexy Dancing
>The Bird Is The Word becomes a #1 hit again

>>11379477
yes, but with real life robots
over time it would devolve into a videogame with no robots.
>All the major generals of the world are 16 year old pot smokers or 10 year olds
atleast we wouldnt have any women in the military

>M16 jams
>open it
>clean jam
>apply jelly

Now everything runs smooth without jam.

>>11379307

So you realized that what you said was stupid and decided to criticize me for not finding a joke funny?

>muslims keep killing people and starting terror wars
>re-write the koran to make it say that islam is strictly non violent religion
>terrorsts become hippies
>hippies are super easy to kill

>>11379369

made me laugh

>missiles are good but expensive
>make missiles that can withstand explosions
>re-use the same missiles over and over
>save taxpayer's dollars

>>11379369
THIS FUCKIN GUY

>>11379479
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w2zPxVtFs4

>>11379369
>Pulse-doppler radar relies on doppler shift to see target through clutter
>Turn 90 degrees to radar so doppler shift drops to zero
>Problem, radar?

>soldiers get shot and bleed to death
>replace blood with quik clot.
>save lives.

>tanks cant cross oceans
>attach children's floaties to main gun
>problem atlantic?

armor-piercing ammunition is usually less accurate, so its kind of true

>torpedoes are great for blowing up ships
>but they only work in water
>make torpedoes that can fly through the air and blow up other stuff
>win all wars

>MRE's cause constipation
>issue dragon dildos and cum lube to troops
>shitting no longer a problem

>>11379565
>AP ammo is less accurate than regular ammo
>Make AP ammo bigger
>Problem solved

>>11379016
>troops get shot before they can clear leather
>issue nylon holsters

>Soldier runs out of food in combat.
>Issue soldiers M16s.
>unlimited jam.
>problem scurvy?

>planes fly with engines
>cost lots of money on fuel
>Remove engines
>Make wings flap up and down
>No more fuel problems, heat seeking missiles going for the jet thrust

>shell ejects from gun after firing
>make a device to put the shell back in the magazine
>unlimited ammo

>Anti tank weapons destroy armour
>Duck tape soldiers to tanks
>Anti tank weapons are useless against infantry

>>11379639

boss, i...

>>11378013

>Terrorist shooting at troops
>outlaw full auto without expensive tax stamp
>limit magazines to 10 rounds
>implement 10 day waiting period and background checks
USA wins...

>>11379369
this guy wins too

having read this whole thread, i cant help but wonder which of these is the most realistically viable....

>soldiers complain that the M9 doesn't have enough STOPPAN POWAH
>make red tip Octogan shaped boolits
>put the word "Stop" on it
>infinate stopping power
>problem .45 fags?

>glock keeps blowing up, out of control
>make it take anger management class
>glock no longer blows up, remains in control

>9x19mm doesn't do enough damage to kill Hadjis
>Pack-A-Punch M9's
>9x19 now enough to kill Hadjis

Related.

>shotguns useless over 75 yards
>rename shotgun to "long ranged homing scatterer tube"
>every pellet flies into an enemy's ear and kills them

>enemy combatants rely on natural night vision rather than nvgs
>drop rave DJs into combat zone before troops
>enemies blinded by strobe lights and lasers
>zero friendly casualties

only 1 more vote needed to archive this here http://chanarchive.org/requests

>>11379850

>Oil prices going up too fast
>Develop bio-fuel and create booming agricultural economy with recycled military
>Problem APEC?

a bit off topic but here it goes...
>DHS is angry over large amounts of Mexicans crossing the border
>Make exact replicas of Mexican cities on US side
>Mexicans repeatedly cross back and forth in confusion
>eventually die of starvation

problem beaners?

>>11379788
These:
>>11379566
>>11379558
>>11379333

>dumb bombs are too inaccurate for modern warfare and collateral damage policies
>send them to a fancy college
>3 years later you get smart bombs
>found out your bombs got a major in philosophy and womans studies
>they are still dumb bombs after all

>sell millions of cheap berret fiddy cals to the enemy
>invade them
>they only have fiddy cals anti-material rifles
>they have no effect on your soldiers
>Win

>war or terrorism
>become terrorist
>now on the same side, no war
>just don't terrorize anything

BOOM. Peace.

>jet engines make fighter planes go fast
>put jet engines on paratroopers
>no more need for expensive aircraft

SOLVED THE ECONOMY FOR YA

> Put a munitions factory in a magazin.
> Unlimited ammo
> problem taliban?

>Have employees from 8ing and CAVE design our aircraft.
>DESTROY EVERYTHING
>Win all wars

>m16 jams
>place 4th grader inside of gun with bread and peanut butter
>eats the jam

>>11381387
>implying 4th graders are the only people who like pp&j sandwiches