>"Ask not what your gainz can do for you, but what you can do for your gainz."
>"If cardio is not wrong, nothing is wrong."
>"Testosterone Propionate, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth."
>"One crossfit injury is a tragedy. A million is a statistic."
>"Speak softly and carry a big barbell."
>"The only thing we have to fear is fat acceptance."
>""The truth is that all men having Trenbolone Acetate ought to be mistrusted."
We will 'mire them on the beaches
>"Mr. Rippetoe, tear down this Planet Fitness."
I like this
>>13068856"bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks, nigga"
>''Two things are infinite. The universe, and OP's faggotry, though I'm not too sure about the universe''
A routine without curls is a dull-witted routine, and a dull-witted routine cannot defeat Auschwitz mode.
“Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a steroid. They have to have the skill, and the steroid. But the steroid must be stronger than the skill.”― Muhammad Ali
>"Are you more mired now than you were four years ago?"
>>13068991>- a desire, a dream, a steroidheuheuehueheuhe
>"Ho! The mass of this wrought-iron is most insignificant! In fact, I would compare its relative weight to that of a small pea-nut! Ho, brethren!"
loling hard, please continue OP
> they do help to provide practical experience which should be of great importance in view of the coming Endlösung of the high bar vs low bar question
>"I tried creatine once. I did not inhale."
>"Keto is an infantile diet. It is the measles of /fit/izens."
"Everybody wanna lift this heavy-ass weight, but don't nobody wanna be no bodybuilder"
>"Who's looking at the man who's gains fell off"
>"I have a dream that one day Alabama little /fit/ boys and /fit girls will be able to join hands with little crossfit boys and crossfit girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream!"
>Crossfit is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success.
"I do not fear death. I had been taking creatine for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."
>"Yes we gain!"
>>13069067I was going to do this but I couldn't come up with anything clever.
>>13069067Beat me to it but idgaf>I have a dream that one day every muscle shall be exhausted, every bicep and tricep shall be made big, the weak places will be made strong, and the flabby places will be made hard, and the glory of zyzz shall be revealed, and all shall stay mirin'.
>"Mr. Churchill, you're fat!">"Indeed I am. And you are a manlet. But in the summer, I shall be cut"
> "We spent a lot of time talking about crossfit, as we should. Crossfit is a group that suffers from incredible disease." --Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001
>>13069099lul'd at this one
>"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for fat acceptance."
>"When you're going through DOMS, keep going."
Our deepest fear is not that we mire.Our deepest fear is that the bitches be mirin'.
This thread is gold.
"Everyone ought to bear patiently the results of his own cycle."-- William Shakespeare
>The man who does not lift has no advantage over the man who cannot lift
>"Without a revolutionary diet there can be no revolutionary gains."
>Gyms may be equipped with weights, but they are populated by men. It is the spirit of the men who lift and of the man who bulks that gains the muscle.
>>13069155>>13069099>>13068989>>13068920All of my lulz. /fit/ thread of the year
>"We have no eternal sick kunts, and we have no perpetual mad kunts. Our aesthetics are eternal and perpetual, and those aesthetics it is our duty to mire.
>Let him who is without gains bench the first plate
>>13068856>this thread has received 1 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival
>"Oly lifters are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile."
"A sincere diplomat is like dry testosterone enanthate or wooden iron."-- Stalin
> He alone, who owns the roids, gain in the future.
>"Let them eat oats!"
>I like your Rippetoe. I do not like your crossfitters. Your crossfitters are so unlike your Rippetoe.
>"Aesthetics is more important than strength."
>"Do not be a hard cunt - be a sick cunt!"
>>13069262fuck im dying lol
>>13068920>>13069238"Those who make the calories decide nothing. Those who count the calories decide everything." -Staling (Too lazy for a pic)
First, I want to pay tribute to Sharky myself. He was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good times and bad, He never lost his capacity to smile and laugh, nor to inspire others with his warmth and kindness. I admired and respected him - for his energy and commitment to others, and especially for his devotion to his two ladyboys.
>''All you need is roids''
I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Crossfitter."
"Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a sickcunt forever."-- Vladimir Lenin
>>13068983fuck, I lost it
>All you need is proteine. But a little steroids now and then doesn't hurt.
>I disapprove of your routine, but I will defend to the death your right to do it.
>"One cannot really argue with /fit/ tripfags"
A supplement plan without creatine is like a body without gainz
The Truth Apparent, apparent to everyone's eyes how are not blinded by dogmatism, is that men are perhaps weary of being natty. They have a surfeit of it. Naturality is no longer the virgin, chaste and severe, to be fought for ... we have buried the putrid corpse of nattiness ... Scooby's followers are a race of sheep.
>Roids is the greatest gift, Swoleness the greatest wealth, foreveralone the best relationship.
>“Manlet sidled up to Scooby from behind. "Scooby?" he whispered.>"Yes, Manlet?">"Nothing," said Manlet, taking Scooby's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
>I like quoting Zyzz. Know why? Because nobody dares contradict you.
>A fat person anywhere, is a threat to fit people everywhere.
>"Choose a lift you love, and you will never have DOMS a day in your life."
Be careful when you fight the doms, lest you become them. For when you stare into the squat rack the squat rack stares back at you.
>Sir, my concern is not whether Scooby is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on Scooby's side, for Scooby is always natural.
"To gainz and beyond!"
This is such a good thread
archived and upvotedhttp://www.chanarchive.org/4chan/fit/48177
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have cycled better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and trenbolone, who strives valiantly, who cycles and comes up short again and again, because there is no cycle without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great gains, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high testosterone levels, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while cycling greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither roided nor natural physiques."--Theodore Roosevelt
"If I have seen further than others, it is by squatting upon the shoulders of giants."- Isaac Newton, Natty Physicist
>the skinnyfags shall inherit the earth
>"Four score and 3 editions ago mark rippletits brought forth on this world a new fitness plan, conceived in strength, and dedicated to the proposition that all men must squat"
>''We choose to go to below parallel not because it is easy, but because it is hard.''
>>13069366oh, there is poo everywhere nowshit myself laughing
>“The greatness comes not when you so a 3 day split SS routine and GOMAD. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some creatine, clen, HGH, and experience some disappointments when the bitches ain't mirin, then sadness comes. Because only if you'd been natty and followed the way of Scooby can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.”
A spectre is haunting America — the spectre of gainz.
We knew the gym would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people burst into treats. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the T-Rex mode scripture, Starting Strength; Rippletoe is trying to persuade the summerfag that he should do his skateboard squats and, to impress him, takes on his hat-wearing form and says, 'Now I am become Cardio, the destroyer of gains.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.
>"Creatine is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest steroid devised by the ingenuity of man.
>''I did not do bicep curls in that squat rack''
>>13069400>Natty Physicistthis thread is amazing
Give a man supps and he gains for a day, teach a man how to hit his macros and he gains for life.
>"DOMS is fleeting, but gains are forever"
>>13069301>If Zyzz didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him
>"i lift, therefor i am."
> "Do you even lift?"
>Everyone has inside of him a piece of good gainz. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can squat! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
>>13069465>* I lift, therefore I squat.
>Steroids is mankind's greatest blessing.
> "Creatinine. Not even once."
"Generals think war should be waged like the tourneys of the Middle Ages. I have no use for knights; I need anadrol."-Adolf Hitler
>"I benched, I squatted, I lifted."
>>13069451Oh god, I was waiting for something like this. Thank you.
>>13069520Wrong Caesar you fuckwit.
>“You may say I'm a natty, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”
>>13069516Seriously, some people fuck up this thread, its about taking a know quote and replacing a few words, not just taking an old person and writing some stupid /fit/line.Jimmies have been rrustled
>"Zyzz is dead."
A pair of powerful dumbells has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in ">tfw no gf" feels.
>"The best argument against crossfit is a 5 minute conversation with Greg Glassman"
>>13069520>>13069520> Quote from Julius Caesar> Sculpture of Augustus Caesar
>''When the love of squats overcomes the love of curls, the gym will know peace.''
>O gainz, gainz, wherefore art thou gainz?
If you can't stand the weight get out of the gym.
>If you wish to get ripped in six months, you must read the fucking sticky
>And on the seventh day God rested, for the sixth day was squats day
>I abhor crossfit and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.
someone make these into memes with the quotes in impact font
>Everyday is like abs day,>Everyday is low weight, high reps
>>13069465Give her the creatine.
>>13069611it was only a matter of time before somebody ruined this glorious thread with their faggotry
>The greatest gift is a portion of gainz cake.
>to bulk, or not to bulk, that is the question
>And I will go on criticising Crossfit, and opposing Crossfit because it is bad for gainz — and gainz and Crossfit are not the same thing. (...) It’s the Crossfit corporation that have brought us ottermodes and crippling injuries. They’ve got the usual Crossfit disease — they’ve cost other people their gainz.
I hate to advocate creatine, oats, squats, or steroids to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
>I like big butts and I cannot lie
>Crowded gyms and half-day routines are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource - the swoleness of our men.
>"You gotta do the lifting by the book"
>"Being president is like being a curlbro in the shower. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it."
>"There is no such thing as a natty body.">favourite quote.
>The gym is filled with squat racks and when the curlbros finally come over, they will all load up 2plate. Their chicken legs about their waists can not support their ego and they will look up and shout "Spot us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."
>The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his gainz by merely changing his routine.
>"Sons of /fit/! Of SS! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the oatz from me. A day may come when the gains of Men fail, when we forsake our routines and break all forms of dieting, but it is not this day. An hour of fatties and shattered spines when the Age of Fitness comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we lift! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the GYM!
Seriously, some of these are fucking incredible. Stay gold, /fit/.
>"I disapprove of having "biceps day", but I will defend to the death your right to have it"
We were somewhere around gold's gym, on the edge of the squat rack, when the creatine began to take hold
>>13069697my fucking god.I want to hear this blasting over my gym speakers.
>They tell us that cycling is the greatest piece of cowardice... that cycling is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own body and swoleness.
>Carpe Diem. Lift the weights, boys. Make your gainz extraordinary.
I have walked across the surface of Planet Fitness. I have witnessed curlbros so tiny and so weak, they could hardly be said to have lifted at all. But you, Adrian, you're just a manlet. The world's swollest manlet poses no more threat to me than does its swollest termite.
"I squat, therefor I am."
“Lifting is treason in the empire of fatties”
Zyzz Are You OkSo, Zyzz Are You OkAre You Ok, ZyzzZyzz Are You OkSo, Zyzz Are You OkAre You Ok, AnnieZyzz Are You OkSo, Zyzz Are You OkAre You Ok, ZyzzZyzz Are You OkSo, Zyzz Are You Ok, Are You Ok, Zyzz(Zyzz Are You Ok)(Will You Tell Us That You'reOk)(There's A Sign On The SunaThat Your Heart Popped)(That It Exploded With aCrescendo Zyzz)(All those Sterioed Came Into YourHeart)(And Left The Bloodstains OnThe Carpet)(Then You Ran Into TheBedroom)(You Were Struck Down)(It Was Your Doom Zyzz!)
>"The very word "steroids" is repugnant in a fit and natty society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret cycles, to secret oats and secret proteins. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted cycling of pertinent roids far outweighed the benefits which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the /thread of a cycling society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the survival of our /fit/ nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave danger that an announced need for more steroids will be seized upon those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of illegal cycling and concealment. That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it is in my control. And that no mod or admin, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up the mistakes of Zyzz or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know."
1/2"Look again at that image board. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you mire, everyone you troll, everyone who's ever rustled your jimmies, every tripfag who ever was. The aggregate of our rage and lulz, thousands of confident routines, suppliments, and steroids, every lifter and runner, every goal body and cam whore, every creator and destroyer of threads, every mod and newfag, every basement dweller, every curlbro and powerlifter , hopeful newbie, broscientist and fit girl, every helpful trip, every troll account, every “superstar,” every “supreme aesthetic body,” every athlete and fatty in the history of the board posted there – on a mote of data suspended in a network.The Board is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of tears spilled by all those trolls and camwhores so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one board of this site on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other board, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to enrage one another, how fervent their hatreds.Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position on the internet, are challenged by this point of pale light into the basement. Our website is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cyberspace. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that girls will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
“Being a manlet is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.”
> Ronnie hangs the greatest weights upon the smallest wires.
>>130698052/2The site is the only one known so far to harbor foreveralones. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our neckbeards could migrate. Visit, yes. Register, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the board is where we make our stand.It has been said that lifting is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of tripfags than this distant image of our tiny board. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue board, the only home we’ve ever known."
>One good thing about DOMS, when it hits you, you feel the gainz
>"So we lift on, bodies against the fat acceptance, squatting ceaselessly into the past."
>I like creatine, it wakes up the brain cells.>From there to here, and here to there, summerfags are everywhere>A persons a manlet, no matter how tall.
>How many plates must a man squat down, before you call him a man? How many plates must a man bench press before he can see his abs?
>"The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Zyzz. Look at you: you're the Father of Aesthetics; you're quite a prize! "
It is no exaggeration to say that StartingStrength is, next to the old sticky, the greatest work in fitness litterature, and that it will have much more influence than even the old sticky upon the diet and lifting of the human race.
>"Hey, I just met you, and this is heavy, but its my last set, so spot me, maybe?"
>Alexander cried salt tears because there were no more plates to squat
>"I stare at myself in the mirror and I think, 'Wow, I'm really tiny looking.'... I think I'm not even otter mode yet"
"Don't believe in yourself... Believe in me!! Believe in the skinnyfag who believes in you!!!"-Goku
>"Creatine is still the greatest miracle and the greatest problem on this earth."
>reports of my gains are greatly exaggerated
>Anybody can lift, that is easy; but to lift with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
>>13069881I haven't laughed this hard since that thread about the autist who didn't think it was weird to take pictures of girls in the gym.
>Burn the Fat people>and the Jews
> "I have nothing to declare but my creatine"
>when someone asks you if you squat 5 plate, you say YES
>"I am indeed amazed when I consider how weak my body is and how prone to error."
>>13069961Please tell me this was archived.
>>13069076Freud was a broscientist>hey bro, you gotta resolve your childhood issues or you'll go straight catabolic!
>Still don't know what I was lifting for, and my squats were going up, and always ATG
>>13069989Not sure, but pic related is the screenshot.
>"Levare est percipi."
>To fight these DOMS the Bodybuilder needs more than rest; it needs soaring cardio to offset moribund protein ingestion. And to do that, as Mike Rippetoe of SS put it, Scooby needs to create a creatine bubble to replace the Natty lifting.
>"I tell you, we are here on Earth to squat, and don't let anybody tell you different."
to fail is human, to deload divine.
>"We are the all lifting, all squatting crap of the world."
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's gainz in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Zyzz was crazy and could be natty. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to take more roids. Zyzz would be crazy to take more roids and sane if he didn't, but if he were sane he had to take them. If he took them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. /fit/ was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
>People have got to know whether or not their president roids.>Well, I DO NOT ROID.
"I'm not a swole man, but I know what gainz are."
Use a Thai Sauna? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
>"I see now that the circumstances of one's genetics are irrelevant, but it is what you do with the gift of gains that determines who you are" - Mewtwo
>>13069950>Not a pic of trucrypt
>>13070014Thank you that was cringtastic.>>13070089This one is fucking good.
>>13070097IMG CAP REACHED.And that was the last post in an epic thread./fit/ can be decent some times. Who would have known?
Good work, guys: http://chanarchive.org/4chan/fit/48177/ask-not-what-your-gainz-can-do-for-you-but-what-you-can-do-for-your-gainzToasting in an Epic Bread.
this thread isnt going to die, not on my watch
>>13070207lets no overdo it and kill it
>>13070115>>13070197Fags like you should leave>lmao>toasting in an epic bread>>>/b/
>>13070313>pushing thread further towards bump limit with a pointless comment like that>telling others to leaveSHIGGY DIGGYand yes, this comment may as well be self-referential as well, but it's your fault I had to post it, faggot.
Rip Told Scoob Don't You Ever Come Around HereWe Don't Want Your Skateboard-Squats, You Better DisappearCreatine In His Eyes And His Words Are Really ClearSquat Lower, Squat Lower--Michael Jackson
>>13070330Thread has been archived and has had it's glory.
>>13070335makes me want to make an mj remake of smooth criminal with "scooby are you natty, are you natty scooby?"
>>13070335I love you.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of /fit/s children will be able to gain with new meaning:My board 'tis of thee, sweet land of benchpressee's, of thee I sing.Land where zyzz died, land of the bodybuilders pride,From every weight rack side, let freedom ring!And if /fit/ is to be a great board, this must become true.And so let bodybuilding ring from the prodigious hilltops of a toned physique.Let bodybuilding ring from the mighty benchpress.Let bodybuilding ring from the heightening Alleghenies of the squatrack.Let bodybuilding ring from the snow-capped bicep curls.Let bodybuilding ring from the curvaceous slopes of treadmills .But not only that:Let bodybuilding from Stone Mountain of a natty physique.Let bodybuilding from Lookout Mountain Scooby.Let bodybuilding from every weight and dumbell of the gym.From every mountainside, let bodybuilding ring.And when this happens, when we allow bodybuilding ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the natty gains of the old bodybuilding spiritual: /fit/ at last! /fit/ at last! Thank God Almighty, we are /fit/ at last!
>>13069067>>13069098>>13069352>"Swole at last swole at last thank God Almighty swole at last"
>A celibate crossfitter is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward crack city bitch crack crack city bitch. - carl sagan
anyone have screencap?
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