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not act like a fucking aspie

>can draw very fast
When you draw like shit,i'm sure that's very easy.

Have sex with me girlfriend.

I can ramble incessantly in such a way as to seem simultaneously full of shit and philosophical in the same way.

>I'm a bunny

I can post on 4chan.

I can post on /co/.

I can come in 2 minutes.

Jerking off has been kinda boring lately.

I'm sure I could do these things too.

Have social skills
How about you Rob?

I can sing the Major-General's Song from the Pirates of Penzance. All of it.

Tap into my encyclopedia-like knowledge of The Simpsons.

>>24854611
I fucking lol'd

He makes it seem as though starting flame wars is hard.

>>24854611

i can be a normal human being.

Not be an asshole

>>24854633
Oh Better Far to Live & Die or kill yourself

>>24854676
When you make people fucking mad on accident all day,you might lose sight of how to do it on purpose

>implying Spongebob laughs like Strongbad
>implying Tom Kenny doesn't have to violently stimulate his Adam's apple to make it so

>>24854759
I'll look into that. Every once in a while I like to make the effort to learn an entire song from a musical, mostly to practise english.
Ah, there's an offensively nerdy thing I can do: sing about three quarters of the songs of "Oh! It's a Lovely War!", a british musical about WWI.

I can fart the first 10 seconds of our national anthem in tune

wow, this applies even here.

>>24854903
but the downside is, if i try any longer, I shit my pants

I have a vertical of 30in. as a lineman.

i fucking hate these comics.
He's always bitching about something or he makes a comic with no fucking punchline.

I can go for more than five minutes without talking about myself. PS, I've fapped to all of your inflation junk and have it on several hard drives.

>>24854905

Well shit, I can start a flame war by typing NO words.

All i have to do is post one of this guy's comics on /co/.

Works every time.

I can eat a bowl of nails for breakfast

>>24854905

Redux version,

>>24854633
Respect, man.

He uses a macintosh he's existence is deemed obsolete.

I've got television telepathy; if I'm thinking about a certain episode of a certain TV show during the day, it usually airs later that day (even if I didn't know it was going to air later that day).

It's happened far too many times to be considered a mere coincidence.

>>24855082

>>24855174
Holy shit. That happens to me too.

>>24855174
Holy fuck, we're identical power twins

>>24855174
Me too!

>>24855174
I have something similar I call it media bending. Ill say that something will happen and shortly after that very thing will happen on that show or comic. It also applies to songs on pandora and Movies.

>>24855174
>>24855242
yeah me too.
I'm sure there's a word for it.
You only think you've got this power because you remember when ou see the episode that you were thinking about it earlier, however all the other times you don't realize you didn't think of it earlier because it wasn't brought up.
I'm not explaining it right but it's probably just coincidence and you remember all the times you were right but don't compare to all the times you were wrong.

>>24855174
I thought I was the only one...

I think you fuckers watch too much fucking television.

>>24855174
>>24855242
>>24855255
>>24855366
>>24855386
>>24855394
>>24855398
obviously, /co/ needs to start a gang of superheroes with cartoon-predicting superpowers.

>>24855553
I second this idea, but what would our team's name be?

>>24855174
>>24855242
>>24855255
>>24855366
>>24855386
>>24855394
>>24855398

I'm sorry to say but you all are being mind controlled by the media.

>>24855614
THE COUCH CRUSADERS.

>>24855701
I LOVE IT!

>>24855652
OR ARE WE MIND-CONTROLLING THE MEDIA?

>>24855701
I SECOND THIS IDEA. We need a draw-fag in here, stat!

>>24855701
Beautiful

>>24854450
shit taste
this dude is a straight out hipster his wardrobe only confirms it

Couch Crusaders general?
Couch Crusaders general

I can ride my bike with no handle bars...no handle bars

>>24856026
indeed. This thread just got hijacked.

So, who here thinks that /co/nrad and /co/lette should be members of the couch crusaders?

Am I too late to join the couch crusaders? I too thought I was the only one.

>>24856093
anyone and everyone may join the crusaders.

>>24856093
Hmmm... well I don't know...
I'll discuss it with the other guys.

COUCH CRUSADERS, ASSEMBLE!

>>24856209
MEDIA BENDER Is here.

I will sketch a picture of the couch crusaders. I'll put five anons in it. Probably won't post it for a while since it takes me some time to draw but whatever.

First four anons who reply to this with their couch crusader names and a small description of themself with be in it.

Also, what should our catchphrase be?

>>24856282
Red fuzzy slippers, red couch armpads strapped to the back of my arms, and a red bowl on my head as a helmet. My hair is black. I'll leave the torso and any small detail up to you.

>Mfw I talk about my media bending powers and name the COUCH CRUSADERS.

>>24856513
congratulations. You're the founder of an elite group of superheroes.

>>24856546
>>24856546
I am actually honored. Im like the Lazy Reed Richards or the Lazy Batman.

>>24856582
You need a codename, right now.

>>24856637
I as the fearless leader of the COUCH CRUSADERS shall be known as THE DASHING DAVENPORT.

We really need a Drawfag to work on our symbol and costume.

Phew! Almost done sketching "THE SCARLET SOFA!"
next up will be "THE DASHING DAVENPORT!"

>>24856799
working on it right now. any suggestions?

Inflation.

>>24856823
You're an awesome person, teammate

>>24856823
Atta Boy youre a true ally of the COUCH CRUSADERS
>>24856840
Im not the creative type Im more the "Bust evil media in the chops" Kinda guy but maybe a Remote and a Sofa under a skull like corss bones What do you think SCARLET SOFA?

>>24856887
Don't try to derail this thread

>>24856887

You inflation fetishists seem like a pretty ungrateful bunch

>>24854905
>>24855067
any more comics about bad comics like this?

>>24856887
Yeah! This thread is already derailed buddy.

oh shit. people trying to derail our precious CC thread.

YOU fiends shall not derail a COUCH CRUSADERS thread. Leave now or we shall make sure the only Media you ever see is Family Guy and Problem Solvers.

I can pick up a kleenex with my toes and bring it to my hand while lying down or standing up

>>24856909
What if we take the jolly roger, and replace the skull with a couch and the bones with remotes?

>>24857091
Capital idea Scarlet Sofa but should we not try to work a couch into the symbol? We must respect the theme after all.

Who controls the remote in the Couch Crusaders?

>>24856282
Female with shouder length brown hair, a permanent bedhead, and a giant hoodie. The hoodie pouch seems to have an endless supply of snacks for the CC. Rest is up to you or I could throw more ideas at you.

>>24857139
Um.. I said we should replace the skull with a couch..

>>24857214
We all have our own Television and we merely control what comes next with our minds.
Yet the Metaphorical remote is in my hands most of the time but I realize my fellow members are just as capable.

>>24857068
Is this the birth of the Kleenex Krusaders?

>>24857139
Maybe you could have the sofa in the open mouth of the skull. Then your free to do whatever around it. MAYBE T.V's IN THE EYE SOCKETS YEAH....I don't know, can't wait to see what you come up with.

>>24856999
Its not like their isn't another thread complaining about this comic and artist. I think this derailment is for the best.

>>24857295
LOL.

>>24857251
Wow I apologize my friend I neglected to read that. I love the idea through and through.

>>24857341
No problem, Dashing Davenport, nobdoy's perfect!
Not even the Couch Crusaders!

>>24854633
Can you record it on vocaroo?

hey guys. Should the CC have matching outfits life fantastic four or should they all be different from one another?

>>24857437
Very true Scarlet Sofa. Despite our amazing gifts we are but men.

>Starting flamewars in three words
>Talent
I could start a shitstorm with a single noun on /mu/.
Radiohead.

Man I love this guy, seriously he's so good at trolling.

I've haven't seen so much buthurt on /g/ and /co/ in awhile.

>>24857484
wait, That came out wrong...uhhh....at any rate should we have matching outifts or not?

>>24857484
I was thinking Similar designs with different colors

Scarlet Sofa is obvious.
Personally I wear Purple exclusively when fighting bad media.
I cant speak for the other members.

>>24857437
>nobdoy's perfect
>nobdoy's

I guess that helps me prove my point

>>24857525
lol i trol u

Now we need only to design a base.

>What can you do?
I can boogaloo.
Or grow a Fu-manchu
Or change my name to Drew
Or go to Anchor Blue

I can also shoot goo.

>>24857735
Should we make it a secret hideout, like the batcave?
Or an easy to spot landmark, such as the Baxter building?

>>24857886
Well I was thinking it would just be a HUGE couch shaped building so inconspicuous might be impossible. It all depends on how public we want to be about our heroism.

should I post what I've sketched so far? I usually don't like posting things until I'm done with them. what do you guys think?

>>24858007
It is up to you.

I
I AM

I AM IRON MAN

I AM IRON MAN

>>24857937
That raises a very good question.

Should we be underground vigilantes?

Or public heroes the world can trust?

Well, I'd love to discuss things further, but I have some business to attend. Could you please save this thread, so I can see it later?

Scarlet Sofa, AWAY!

>>24858137
you mean archive the thread? I for one vote that we archive it.

>>24858194
I would support that as well but am unsure how to do so.

I just realize that I don't have any asspie talents.
I guess I could get good at touhou or Super Meat Boy if I really wanted to.

>>24858233

for some reason, 4chan isn't letting me tell you how.
just google how to archive a thread.

>>24858410
3 requests

I dont think that will be enough

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY SCANNER BROKE. HERE'S A PICUTR EOF WHAT I'VE DONE SO FAR THAT I TOOK WITH MY SHITTY I-POD. HAHHAAHAHAH.
Not that great. Like I said, it takes me a while to draw.
I'll probably post he completed thing tomorrow.
if you aren't able to find it, I'll probably upload it to my deviantart. which means I will now have one picture on my DA. good for me.

oh shit i forgot to erase his crothc bulge.

Anyways, that's the scarlet sofa, and me; hellpop hammer. GEDDIT? CUZ I HAVE A HAMMER IN THE PIC?

>>24858588
Up to five now.
Also I'll totally drawfag for this one designs are decided on.

>>24858958
hey cool. Now we've got two drawfags in here.
I have to go to sleep now anyways, so it's pretty awesome that you decided to draw the COUCH CRUSADERS.
eh. I'll post my finished pic tomarrow. Good night everybody/

Im glad to see all the love for THE COUCH CRUSADERS makes supers really feel welcome you know.

dammit people we gotta archive this shit.

I could kick his fat ass really fast.

I have the power to leave myself snacks and other helpful assortments in the future.

Oh and I guess I draw.
Guitars are hard.

>>24859173
and thus, the snack supplier of the crusaders is born.

>>24859173
I have an exciting proposition for you. How would you like to be an honorary crusader? We could use a man of your talents in our group.

c'mon guys! we only need two more reuests to archive this! I know there must be at least two more people in this thread!

Make significantly better artwork than Tom Preston, like most people over the age of 12.

>>24859382
What's yer offer?

>>24859489
Retuuuuuuuurn the slab.

>>24854450
play with his life savings across 20 tables...

actually, probably 2. I doubt he's got much more then a couple of bucks.

Only 2 more requests come on people. THE COUCH CRUSADERS need your help. Or we can simply make it so only Johnny Test gets aired on every network.

>>24859549
About tree fiddy

If it's not too late to join the Crusaders (though I suspect it is) I'd like to put my name in for candidacy.

With the uncanny ability to predict plot points, recognize cliches, and call bullshit, The Detector serves as the "Check Engine Light" of viewer fact-checking.

Jay Garrick style helmet (sans wings) connecting to square-frame goggles and casual wear accentuate the thick short beard worn by this intrepid(?) hero.
Tune in next week to hear the predictions for the week after's episode!

>>24859655
New members are always welcomed so long as they fit our power motif.

>>24857238
Since snack provider's taken maybe she can provide comfies (blankets, pillows, etc.) from her hoodie instead?

>>24859655
i don't think it's to late. I don't speak for everyone of course, but I was planning on having five members of the crusaders. So far we have, The dashing davenport, the scarlet sofa, hmyself, and perhaps Joe awesome with his snacking skillz.
We had another chick who requested to be in it, but she never gave us a name or really contributed to the thread so I think we might count her out.

So now the crusaders are:
dashing davenport
scarlet sofa
the detector
maybe joe awesome if he accepts our propsition
and myself.
yaaay that's five.

In all honesty, I have no idea what this crusader business is all about.

>>24859773
oh shit that chick replied while I was typing.
Well I guess she's back in then.

actually, fuck the five member limit.

>>24859773
While I respect Joe Awesome's snack abilities our powers are less about snacks and more about predicting/controlling Media. Which is why I offered him Honorary membership.

I kind of like Tom's comics. I know they're not good, but they've got a certain charm to them that I can't put my finger on.

>>24859841
i like this idea.
Five main members and then a whole bunch of honorary members.

>>24859957
I feel it is the best approach.

>>24859769
Oh a name hmm... Blankette if I can't think of anything else.

>>24859917
The guy's hilarious, he's just not the best artist.

>>24854450
I must ask, what comic is this?

bamp

>>24860169
SYAC-
"So you're a cartoonist"

>>24860102
We can work on it later.

More importantly Would you accept our offer of Honorary membership into THE COUCH CRUSADERS?

This character can go to anyone who wants it. I unfortunately do not have this power.

Character is "Lady Laze-About" or "Laze-About Lad". They're the one that lays on the couch in a pose that looks extremely painful to an outsider but is actually incomprehensibly comfortable, balancing a bowl of snacks and the remote on random parts of the body, i.e. snacks on foot, remote on head.

>>24860275
I would be honored, thanks.

>>24860505
Lovely once we have a headquartes and uniform design we will let you know Blankette.

>>24860482
I like that. I vote them to be honorary members.

>>24860585
While I do love their power set is it really one that could either assist us or fight crime? For instance Blankette helps us stay comfy and Joe provides the delicious snacks. I suppose they could teach us their ways

What a spectacular thread, /co/...

This shit better get archived, I gotta sleep

the archive site isn't working for me, so the rest of you better get your asses in there.
How many times has it been requested now?

>>24860482
What does everyone else think about these 2 getting honorary status?

I read a few of his comics right now. Honestly, they're kind of lame. They're all about his negatives in life. Heck, I got disenchanted with anime fandom but I don't downright hate them. Even Maus wasn't filled with this much hatred.

>>24860783
Sounds dandy to me.
Wait... Detector Senses activating. One of them will likely try to betray us. Or, wait... Save us. Or leave the team disgraced.
... Or order pizza. Probably.

THUS DECREES DETECTOR!

>>24860909
Truly a great part of the team thank you Detector.

Also, I think the base should look like a house-sized couch.
Inside an even larger box-set T.V. with tuning knobs.
On a mountain plateau overlooking several broadcast studios and with perfect satellite reception.

4chan wouldn't let me put this with my last post.

>>24860987
We did already talk about a giant couch being the base. We just need to decide if we are public or hidden heroes.

Hey guys, here me out. How about a character who represents the guy with the HUGE DVD and VHS collection that is there to save the day when absolutely nothing good on TV can be found, or when all there is on TV is a movie or show you could watch on DVD/VHS at any time without commercial breaks? Perhaps the Video Sage or something like that?

>>24861242
*hear
My bad.

>>24861242
As long as he's weridly against blu ray for some reason

>>24861267

BLUERAY IS THE DEVIL

>>24861267
But of course, he'd be pissed off that after only FIFTEEN years since he started his DVD collection and actively trying to get DVD copies of his old and worn out VHS tapes, he's expected to start all over again with the new fangled Blu-Ray disks? Bullshit he says!

>>24861267

His tragic backstory is when Blu-Ray killed someone he loved...

HD-DVD.

Well this thread could not have gone better thanks all I hope this got archived
The Couch Crusaders will assemble later.
THE DASHING DAVENPORT AWAY!!!!!!

>>24861438
>>24861487
Hmm, maybe we could combine these somehow...

I got it! The guy started collecting HD-DVDs and heavily insisted that it would be the conquering format. The rest is history.

I'll ask the dumb question. Who is this faggot and why are his comics so retarded?

Too tired to actually draw but I felt bad about not contributing, so I practiced some of THE COUCH CRUSADERS. I'll try and do something more legit later when it's a decent time to be awake.

bamp

>>24861242
>>24861267
This. He needs to be kind of like our Alfred. Always looking out for us and always there when we really need him.

live!

is this thread still alive?

The Scarlet Sofa is back!

Hellpop Hammer, Blankette, you have done a good job.
The whole team is proud of you.

New members, I'm happy to welcome you to The Couch Crusaders.

Ah! I see this thread is still alive.

On to the Couch Crusaders:
Perhaps we try to be public, but no one remembers our roster and keeps messing up the name with humorous results.
We actually have some daring feats, but are comically adept so nobody believes we were the ones who did whatever. Occasionally, other heroes recognize our abilities but then our dread foe Scheduling Director uses his Time Slot Shuffle beam and deadly Extended Hiatus ray that puts us out of commission long enough to be all but forgotten once again. (The VCR record timer won't reprogram itself.)

>>24869937
I am a fan of the idea of people underestimating us it gives us the upper hand.
>>24869865
He is right smashing job the both of you.

We also need some equipment, namely, vehicles and gadgets.

As for vehicles, I was thinking we could have the Couchmobile, the Couchcopter, and hovercouchs (one for every member).

I want to be a villain, because I have the superpower of knowing what will happen in the next episode beforehand and I use it for my own purposes at the expense of the world, I AM THE SPOILER

>>24854450
I can scream like Hank Hill.

>Because we all have talents!
Except you, haha.
>laugh like Spongebob.
And I can talk like Magilla Gorilla. Useless, though.
>flair my nostrils
WHOA, YOU MASTERED BASED MOTOR SKILLS. CONGRATS.
>recite Alladdin from memory
That is just sad.
>draw very fast
Wow, drawing extremely low detail catoony drawings quickly? IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T SHOW.
>recite nations of the world
Right on, proving you have no life.
>talk like Kermit
Again, useless.
>start flamewars with three words
WELCOME TO THE INTERNET, YOU MUST BE NEW HERE.

What a fucking faggot. None of these are even remotely close to talent.

>>24856068
i only know co/nrad
who are the other 2 ?

I heard there was a team of media telepathy superheroes forming. Are you still accepting applications?

>>24871131
As I understand, we're accepting honorary members.

What are your powers?

Write creepy insect porn and then get praised for the dialogue.

>>24870969

/co/lette and /co/nata I believe.

/co/nata is our latent enjoyment of anime/manga (mostly nostalgia governed, i.e. Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, etc.)
/co/lette is justice-oriented and uses magic gauntlets to turn into her super-persona which is far more adventurous and outgoing than her normal self.
/co/nrad has become something more of a romantic idealist than a hardened trenchcoat detective.

>>24871867
One day we will have a huge crossover involving every /co/ hero. /co/lette, /co/nrad, /co/nata, Appladay, The Couch Crusaders... it will be beautiful.

>>24872056
I would fund it.

>>24872892
DD what is your costume like

>>24873225
Honestly? I havent a clue im not the most creative member of the team.

/co/ku is the best

its the only troll counter troll that actually works.