ads

plant it and reap the free potatoes.

>>>/d/

At least they haven't turned in to mush and slime and horror.

>>2822396
lol'd

>>2822417

and little flies.

Hundreds and hundreds of little flies....

oh jesus

oh jesus why did I look inside...

This happens with my onions sometimes, I either forgot about them or I'm too lazy to use them.

Free potatoes, cool.

My room mate keeps a box of ramen on top of the fridge. Apparently a banana fell in there because when I was cleaning it off I found it, rotting and molding.

Op you should make potatoes batteries out of those.

cook the stalks like a vegetable, all plants in the nightshade family have edible leaves and stems

>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395
>>2822395

>>2822396
oh fuck I lol'd

>>2822430
No.

>>2822423
Happens with my garlic bulbs if I buy too many and forget about them. They sprout and start growing.

>>2822430
Mmmm, very delicious!

>>2822395
I agree. See what happens. Post pics.

>>2822430

well shit, i wish i would have known about the potential to grow these guys...they're somewhere in the garbage now mixed with rotten food...

oh well, potatoes are like a dollar a piece anyways

>>2822422
I remember in high school a friend left a ham and cheese sandwich in a plastic container at the bottom of our locker after he left and I found it. After I opened it was green, pure fucking green and green smoke, fuck...

>>2822517
I hope you didn't breathe in.

>>2822517
enjoy the shit growing in your lungs now

>>2822525
>>2822531
It was 5 years ago and no I didn't breathe it in.

>>2822536
thats what she said

My boyfriend and I stayed at a friend's house for awhile and while there, my boyfriend cleaned his kitchen because it was a mess, and found a hot dog in a tupperware in the fridge that was literally rock hard and black. He also had expired food in there from 2007. It was 2010.

>>2822650
I hope you took a picture of that.

my brother and i cleaned out our fridge once years ago, my mom is the ultimate hoarder. some things we found were:
>some deli ham that had turned blue
>taco bell/burger king sauce packets that we didnt recognize at first because the logo on it was a much older logo
>rock hard carrots that were black / blue
a bottle of soda way in the back that had absolutely no gas left in it, im sure some of the syrup even started to seperate from the liquid

amongst others...

>tupperware hidden in back of fridge with homemade chili in it
>6months later
>green fuzz
>crack lid to empty it in the trash
>involuntary recoil+gag from strange slightly sweet smell
>nooooooooooooooope, straight into the trash container and all, close bag up and quickly haul it outside to my garbage can

Cleaned out a friend's kitchen cupboards, found an unopened ten-year-old jar of applesauce.

It had turned completely black.

>old broccoli in plastic baggie
> brown water in the corners
>contemplate frying at high heat and eating anyway
>open bag and smell
>i think its diarrhea
>throw away with extreme prejudice

>>2822716
Lazy fuck here, I've thrown away hundreds in tupperware.

>>2822738
exactly why i buy cheap glad and ziplock ware

>Chilling in space in an old fishing ship and hunt for wanted criminals
>Buy a lobster
>Put it in an old fridge we don't use too often
>A year later, remember about it
>The horror

>>2822738
yeah. if it hits a certain level of fucked, im not even opening it, let alone cleaning it.

>>2822751

>mfw

>make chili
>doesn't taste too good, leave it in crock pot
>weeks pass
>flies appear here and there around the house
>check crock pot
>oh god what the fuck is that
>gray, gray everywhere
>open lid
>mist comes out
>maggots everywhere.
>several flies.
>smell is.... indescribable.


>throw out whole crock pot

I learned my lesson.

>>2822781

At least you didn't fall asleep in one.

Cleaning out my family's pantry this Friday. You guys are scaring me.

>>2822790

old person + homemade water heating element x death = story of ages for the EMT who found him

>live in hawaii
>mom buys potatoes
>use half for shepards pie
>other half is forgotten
>two weeks later, strange smell is wafting around the house
>begin to clean the kitchen thoroughly
>come to cabinet where the potatoes WERE
>disgusting, gag-inducing mush and slime covered in FLYING COCKROACHES
>can't approach it
>dad sprays it with raid and tosses it into the sea.


>captcha: rticho syndrome

holy fuck OP

Your picture makes me want to vomit.

Two of them:

>taking the grocery shopping out of the car
>we took everything out
>weeks pass
>each time we're in the car, there's a nasty smell that seems to get worse each day
>we clean the car and carpets, sometimes they get wet and have a weird smell
>still smells terrible
>open trunk, there was a bag with tilapia, fish is now black

I had to throw it in the garbage can, and it also had an even worse smell for a couple of days.

>due to college, I live in a student room in a boarding home
>new students arrive, they're complete asshats, they always wreck the shared kitchen, leave a lot of food on the pans, they get drunk almost daily, etc, still talk to them and all
>one day they're in the kitchen for no reason, they call me up and tell me they unplugged the fridge before vacations and left lettuce and a lot of meat in the fridge
>they tell me to open the fridge
>nope, and there are a fuckton of flies everywhere
>they show me a photo of what's inside, meat looks nasty and with maggots, lettuce looks like shit

Those guys were the worse.

>>2822802
that's a potato that sprouted. Not some alien microorganism

>>2822823
>>2822828
Delicate flowers are delicate. Stop hatin', haters.

>>2822828
>>2822823
Are you guys fucked? I have never seen a sprout like that, it is ungodly and plain disgusting.

I think the sprouts that grow on potatoes are weird as fuck anyway

>>2822389

>go to grandma's house for thanksgiving
>she asks me to get some beers from the freezer in the garage
>their is a shit ton of stuff in the freezer so I decide to clean it out a little bit even though she tells people not to
>find shit thats from the fucking 80's and leftover turkey from past thanksgivings that she tries to feed people whenever they visit
>what the hell grandma

>make ghetto tartar sauce (mayo+chopped pickles)
>put leftover bowl in back of fridge
>cleaning to move out at end of year
>FFFUUCK
>throw out bowl

>>2822850

Well, my grandmother may make great southern cooking and not try to feed friends and family 25-year old frozen meat, but she is an unapologetic racist. You can't win them all.

>>2822525

I did, I had no choice. It oozed all over the pantry and my mother made me clean it up, because it was obviously my fault, despite never buying them and being sixteen.

>>2822531

I am, thanks. They're my little buddies.

Also, kill your roommates, because god knows what other indescribable horrors await you deep in the depths of the cupboards.

cleaned out dead grandfathers kitchen...
there were things... things...
many were over 30 years past their expiry date, and there was unidentifiable things in tupperware.

>cleaning out boxes of dishes from my grandparents that had been packed away for ten or 15 years.
>find and old plastic butter dish.
>there's still butter in it.

>put bag of potatoes in cupboard above stove
>forget about them as I never use the cupboard (it's got the extractor housed in it)
>a few months later
>"there sure are a lot of fruit flies in here"
>"where the fuck are these flies coming from?"
>see slime at corner of cupboard
>oh god there were potatoes in there
>open it
>oh shit
>oh god
>oh why
>what the fuck

>poking around old Irish bogs
>find elaborate wooden container
>inside is 300 year old butter
>still spreadable and edible

>Letting your shit rot in the fridge

>>2823844
not believing you. show some pics.

>have my own bees
>harvest some honey
>put it in basement
>remember ten years later that I still have some honey in the basement
>go get it
>good as new


I love honey

>lemon juice from 2003
>found it at the back of cupboard
>see that it turned black through the yellow container
>slowly back away
>mfw

i'm clean and organised.

no horror stories from me.

>>2823955

Snore.

>Have roast chicken
>Leave the carcass in the oven, forget about it
>One week later, 'Hey mate come check this out'
>Maggots, maggots everywhere

There was some vomit involved.

>Working in supermarket
>"Today we're gonna move the fridges and clean out behind them"
>OH DEAR GOD SO MUCH ROTTEN FOOD
>A box of fruit salad, it has turned entirely to liquid and gone black

>>2823984

neat!
did you get drunk off it?

>>2822792
Ah, I cleaned out my parents' pantry of many goodies when they moved away, all the spices joined mine in a cabinet I visit often, while most of the lager stuff and oddly shaped item went into another.
>Three years pass.
>Talking with friends about hot sauces and such.
>One mentions wondering what Sriracha was like.
>I'm like 'Oh yeah that stuff is awesome, lemme grab a bottle..'
>Find a bottle, start bringing it out.
>Frown.
>Sriracha shouldn't be the color of old blood.
>Look for the date on it.
>Realizes 2 things.
>1) This is the bottle from my parents pantry, and-
>2) This must be the same bottle from three years BEFORE THAT when I moved out and they never finished.
>Still consider it.
>Try to get it to mover within the bottle.
>It doesn't.
>Nope.jpg
>Tell friend I'll get him some another time.

>>2823962
Should've turned the oven to the highest temp and walk away.

>home for a few days
>cooking, using spices
>notice age of the paprika i am using
>hey i guess i'll clean out the spice cabinet
>oldest spice had "best by" date in '03
>mfw

>then decide to clean out tea cabinet
>teas from 1995
>mfw

>then decide to clean out pantry
>premade chili mix, beans were so dried out the skin was actually cracking and falling off
>check "use by" date
>2007
>mfw

>>2824015

>horribly afraid of mold
>refuse to eat bread past its sell by date
>boyfriend wants to play a prank on me
>tosses loaf of bread in cabinet over fridge
>8 months later
>moving out of apartment
>open cabinet
>pull out bag
>BLACK BREAD LOAF

He was only going to keep it in there a week or two so it was all green and fuzzy but forgot.

>defreezing fridge
>forget one open can of dog food
>leave house for 3 weeks
>come back
>open fridge
>maggots

I once stuck a load of leftover pasta/sauce in the fridge, forgot about it and went to Ibiza for three months. Got back and it smelled like someone had died in my fridge. I ended up just going to some wasteground at the bottom of my street and left the pan there. It took a fuck load of baking soda and elbow grease to cleanse my fridge after that

>1st time living on my own, life in with a woman who was renting out one room in her house for 6 months for intership.
>notice there are small bugs in my bread
>throw bread away
>take a good look at my cabinet
>those damn things are all over the place
>knew my houseboss wasn't a very hygenic person
>look at her spices
>each pot has small bugs inside them too
>decide to keep all my food downstairs in my room from then on in isolated boxes

She was some crazy lady, lp players everywhere with records, even in the toilet. But she hardly ever cleaned the place.

>life in a house with other students
>wake up 8 am at the smell of chicken burgers being baked
>realize that the Russian student in our house eats chicken burgers all day every day with a little salad
>dat fucking smell every day
>dat fuckign smell

>receive some cooked meat from parents when going home
>was too much to eat in a week
>leave in fridge
>forget about it
>eventually wonder what is in this particular box
>open it
>meat is half liquid and entirely green
>throw that sit out, gaggingly wash the box out

>yesterday housemates clean out the fridge a little
>plastic bag with spinage that turned black

>>2822781
Similar story, in that it involves a forgotten slow cooker.

>Do my traditional slow-cooked turkey for thanksgiving.
>Clean up early that year and get all the meat packed away in containers along with juices/gravy.
>Everything cleaned up and put back.
Cut to about a month and a half ago.
>Phantom odor occasionally wafts out of dinning area.
>Check trash cans, Nope.
>Look at slow cooker.
>Still see foil still wrapped around the edges.
>Oh crap...
>Crack the lid to peek inside.
>Odor drives me back, close it firmly again.
>Realize I'll have to take the whole thing out to the dumpster to safely dump the contents.
>Feet are all messed up at this point, walking is difficult.
>Try in vain to get a friend to help, end up adding quotation marks around "friends".
>Feet feeling decent a couple days later in the middle of the night.
>Make my move.
>Open it up in the open air, lift out the inner piece and dump in the dumpster.
>Smooth and easy, and slow-cooker mostly clean. Thank God I triple layer the non-stick foil for turkey.
>Everything went better than expected.

Looks like no insects either and only a little mold, seems the leftover bones and what cartilage remained had been forgotten and were beginning to physically break down.

>>2824035
>>2824035
was it dry? because that will accually stop it from rotting and stuff.

I currently have a bad smell in my kitchen that I catch in certain areas. A very small area. Smells like old salami or something equally meaty. It's definitely not coming from the fridge but it makes me fucking gag.

>>2824035
>>2824035
what was wrong with yuor feets?
was it feets day ?

>>2824040
In theory that was a bit of juice in there originally, and the bones themselves well saturated and soft.
There was no discernible liquid by the time it was rediscovered though.

>>2824044
Tendons are all messed up.
Which is apparently the slowest healing part of the entire human body. Sad face is me.

>>2824042
Time to check cupboards and old pots.

>Visit great aunt in another state every few years
>She's old, always clean out her entire kitchen including the fridge and pantry

>Notice the freezer smells slightly rancid, check the temperature setting and notice it's barely colder than her fridge
>Turn it down to an appropriate temp and throw away all the off meat while she's not looking
>It's turned back up the next day

>She makes a roast chicken dinner
>Waiting for a few hours before I slip into the kitchen and check on the roast
>She never turned the oven on, raw chicken has been sitting in there for three hours in an Australian summer
>Bake the shit out of the chicken so we don't all die of food poisoning

That woman must have intestines of steel for the amount of off meat that she eats. She wins a lot of meat trays at the local seniors club and then she keeps them forever and ever and ever and still eats them.

i've done the rowing potatoes in the cupboard a few times. its quite easy to forget about them.

a few other times:
>housemate comments that there are a lot of fruitflies in the kitchen
>i say oh its probably the grapes in the corner
>open my cupboard with oranges
>SWARMED WITH FLIES
>never again buy a pack of oranges

another time:
>buy prawns in leave in freezer
>use some prawns and leave rest for later
>sometime later freezer stops working
>nobody in the house realises until landlord comes for house inspection
>open freezer
>SMELL OF A THOUSAND DEATHS

>buy small mesh bag of tangerines
>week later notice one has mold
>pick up bag from counter
>moldy tangerine on bottom explodes
>green dust everywhere
>throw out all tangerines

I fucking hate mold

>>2824026
How did flies get inside the fridge?

OP's pic looks like something from The Thing.

Oh goodness, I'm so glad I found this thread. I had my own horror story today (entirely my fault, multiple times over) and now I feel slightly better about it.

I cooked spaghetti a while ago, mixed the cooked noodles and sauce in the same pot at the end for convenience. My roommates and I ate nearly all of it, but there was a tiny bit left. I was going to eat it, but simply forgot about it. The next morning, I notice it's still out, but I'm in a rush to get to work, so I tell myself I'll deal with it later. With the semester coming to a close, I'm dealing with a lot of crap and don't get to doing dishes for an entire week. I look at the pot only to see that the noodles at the bottom are covered with white/black/green molds. I'm thankful that the pot is covered, but I don't really know how to handle it because I've never been in this situation before. So, I decide to toss in a little bit of bleach with water, then leave it in the sink for a little bit to soften up so it would be easier to clean.

With work and procrastination, an entire month passes with that pot sitting in the sink. A systematic grid of tiny bubbles on the surface of the water lets me know that something down there is still alive. I finally decide to fuck it and put on a simple cloth mask and pour the pot out. I was greeted by horrifying black mush followed by an indescribable stench of sweet and sour decay. I nearly vomit on the spot, but I hold my breath and scoop it out with a spoon, contemplating setting the entire apartment on fire for the good of humanity.

In hindsight, I should have taken pictures of it all, but at the time, all I wanted was to nuke it to hell.

>>2822468
What? We have potatoes for like 0.5 dollar a kilogram. That's about 0.25dollar per pound.

>>2824054
I dropped a frozen steak on my foot and severly bruised my foot and it fucking swelled like crazy, I know that feel (Started monday and is starting to get better now)

>>2824203
Where or who is "we" that you're talking about?

Florida here, and potatoes are $3-5 per 10lb bag, depending on variety, size and blemishes.

>>2824167

>I finally decide to fuck it

Whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Got two, sort of

>Be around 10
>At primary school, its nearly christmas
>for whatever reason a group of us where going through some old lost and found stuff
>Find old Tupperware box, obviously some kids packed lunch and obviously had food in it
>Open out of curiosity
>Part green fuzz/part rancid liquid, no idea what was in there before
>Almost throw up
>Mfw some teacher knowingly slung a box of food in with the lost and found knowing it would just be forgotten.

Also

>Last summer
>Garbage bins outside
>In both, a bunch of rotten food seemingly comprised of eggs, milk, meat and bread at the bottom of both
>Maggots everywhere
>Flies everywhere
>Unbelievable stench
>Have to spend 2 hours cleaning them both out
>Almost throw up a half dozen times
>Scrub myself in boiling hot shower

>Living at home with my mom
>Have very old mustard colored tupperware containers so I can't see what's inside
>Go to cupboard to get one tupperware container
>One has something inside it....
>Wondering what it is I open it
>It was full of sauce with noodles that turned brown and had black mold
>Smelled awful

To this day we don't know how the hell leftover noodles ended up in the cupboard

>mix olive oil, lemon juice and ginger for a school project
>"Anyone want this?"
>Nope.avi
>"Fair enough, I'll just keep it in my locker - in case someone changes mind."
>3 weeks later
>lumps of mold suspended in oil
I'm not removing that thing from my closet.

>I fucking love creme fraiche!
>forget about it
>mixture of orange, green, black and white

>don't finish cup of chocolate milk
>"What's that smell?"
>fill with water, leave in sink

>>2824146

Flies have already laid eggs on almost everything you've ever eaten or ever will eat.

>be in college
>have sloppy jewish roommate
>order pizza
>he wants the leftovers to eat later
>box won't fit in fridge, so he puts it under his bed
>predictably forgets about it
>i dont notice because my bed is by the window, so i have fresh air
>next semester, roommate gets woken up by a rat in his bed
>entire dorm hall is infested with rats
>get rat trap to put under his bed
>find pizza box
>open pizza box
>pizza box full of rat shit and dead fetal rats. they found the pizza box and started breeding in it
>blame jew for unleashing another plague

I don't understand any of the stories with flies/maggots/cockroaches. Surely if the food is covered, in a fridge or oven or even just cling filmed, it should be fine? Just mould, no animals?

>>2824470

See

>>2824429

>>2824451
>blame jew for unleashing another plague
lol'd like a motherfucker

>>2824475
But surely cooking kills the eggs? And I know that no flies land on the food after I cooked food, yet before I store it. No idea how alive eggs can be in my food.

>>2824470
I read this and promptly stopped reading the thread. I understand now that it will give me nightmares if I continue.

>>2824483

Fly eggs only last a day or two before hatching. The maggots burrow into the food, which protects them from cooking, usually.

>look in aunts fridge
>look in the fridge door
>find suppositories that were prescribed in the 90's to someone we don't even know
>wtf all the way out of the kitchen

>another day, look in her freezer
>read label on bowl
>bowl label says "Spaghetti Soup, 1997"
>never eat anything at my aunts again

>Go to do dishes, find bowl full of green beans
>Mold, Mold, Mold everywhere.
>Wtf... we just put them in here last night.
>Lift bowl of green beans, and uncover bowl of spaghetti
>MAGGOTS everywhere,
>Scream like woman that I am,
>Get scared that maggots and mold appear after one day of not doing the dishes
> wonder if we're experiencing a plague.

Turns out the spore and pollen count is off the fucking charts, so no more waiting till the next morning to clean up. Still doesn't explain the maggots.

lol OP you live in the midwest? dats sum Jewl right there

>>2824621
Well I was thinking I should throw out my leftover pasta sauce and now I am for sure because I will think about is maggotsssssss.

>in highschool
>take milk from lunch
>put it in a chemistry lab cabinet that no one ever uses
>wait till last day of school and grab it
>open it
>looks solid
>stinks real bad
>decide to throw it on floor outside class
>solid black matter on top breaks all over floor revealing a thick milky brown paste that was below the solid
>literally one of the worse smells of my entire life
>you can smell it in every part of the school
>everyone talks about the horrible smell
>some teachers take their classes outside

There are some serious slobs on this board.
If I have leftovers I go out, get horrifically drunk and eat them all at 4am before passing out on the stairs.

>>2822424
a few years ago, in a math class, I opened my assigned textbook and found someone had tried pressing an entire banana in there like a flower over the summer.
surprisingly enough, it was a partial success, being suprisingly unrotted for a banana chilling in a hot school with no a/c all summer.
still disgusting though.

>cook some shit mith peas and tomato sauce
>leave standing in kitchen
>flatmate puts it in cupboard
>leave for two weeks to help mom move
>return
>wash dishes
>result: THIS

>>2824792
THROW IT AWAY OH GOD.
alternatively, harvest mold, discover new antibiotic, ????, profit!

>>2824797
I cleaned it out. At some places in the pot, the food wad turned completely to mold and spores. I think I might have caught some aspergillosis cleaning that fucking pot.

>>2824811
I still got some closeups of mold forests. Wanna see?

You know what, I'mma show em anyway.

>>2824815

My inner scientist cries out for a petri dish and some q-tips...

I like it when my coffee pot gets little lily pad mold floating around in it after a week.

>Mother who had just gotten out of the hospital around this time asks me to come over to her house
>Get there
>She said she cooked chicken and noodles 3 weeks ago,but didn't finish it and didn't have a chance to throw it away before she went to the hospital
>Asks me to clean it out,because she's worried it might make her sick
>Lift up the pot's lid
>OH GOD,FLIES,MOLD,STRANGE LIQUIDS,AND DEATH EVERYWHERE
>Vomit up the lunch I just had

I found this in my fridge, over a year ago. I thought it looked interesting, so I put it on glass and took a pic. Strawberries covered in mold.

>>2824853

I love how the berries themselves are basically mummified, but the leaves are still green.

>>2824853
Dude that looks awesome.

>>2824853
Uggh.
I now have to eat two containers of strawberries with that image in my head.

>Weird odor coming from fridge.
>Spend all week trying to discover it's source.
>Check all left overs, they look fine, nothing weird.
>Another week goes by, can not stand stench.
>Say fuck it and begin to throw out everything in fridge.
>MFW broccoli had sprouted mold the exact color of the broccoli.
>Weirdest part is that rotting broccoli smells like broccoli farts.

>At the cricket club with friends
>They have a fridge in the kitchen
>Only a small thing.
>Decide to get some more ice out of there for the bar.
>See it's not plugged in.
>"There's no point, there won't be any ice"
>Open it anyway.
>Someone had left a full salmon in there.
>Realised someone had caught it three or four days ago and frozen it in there.
>Covered in mould.
>Some of it's black.
>Open all windows in the place and spray half a can of Febreeze into the fridge and shut the door.
My friend had to clean it out. He almost threw up a few times.

I
WANT
TO
LIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEEE1!!!!!1!!!

>>2824860
>>2824908
>>2824920

lol. yeah, it was kinda weird.

>>2823962

That is fucking vile.

You think all this is bad, we still have
>>oyster sauce (expiry date 1990) under the kitchen sink.
>>jelly expiry date 1997
>>Popcorn, expiry date 19xx, the last two numbers have faded so they cannot even be read

Circa 2003
>First apartment out of parents house
Go and raid my moms house for food.
See a fucking duck in the freezer.
Take that shit.
Start to bake it. It, smells fucking delicious.
Take it out and taste a piece.
Tastes like ET's finger.
Pull the packaging out of the garbage.
There is a recipe contest. You had until January of 1989 to send it in.
>1989 just the contest. Who knows how old the fucking duck was.
Ended up making ramen.
shit.

>>2824489
>burrow into the food, which protects them from cooking,

right...

>Last week, making scrambled eggs with salmon
>Find opened tub of Philadelphia in the fridge, probably a couple of months old
>Black and green fuzz all over one side, the other side pristine
>Hesitantly try a bit from the nice looking side
>Oh man, so good
>Continue making eggs

>be about 14 or 15
>mother has a habit of buying meat that's on sale, putting it in the freezer in the basement, and forgetting about it
>called the exterminators for an unrelated reason, they do some work in the basement laying traps and the like
>leave without any problems
>two weeks later, we start to notice a bad smell
>we look around for dead mice/other animals, can't find anything
>another week passes
>my mother goes into the basement to get something from the freezer
>she opens it, is hit with the smell of an entire freezer's worth of three-week old rotting meat
>it turns out the exterminators had accidentally unplugged the freezer and didn't plug it back in
>smell permeates the house, have to throw away all of the meat and clean the basement
>makes my older brother throw up
>can smell it even out in the yard

It was awful. For a while it seemed like my mother had learned her lesson about hoarding food downstairs, but a few months later, she was back to her old devices.
Pic related, was probably my mom's face upon opening the freezer.

>>2825032
>oyster sauce
Mostly sugar.
>Jelly
Mostly sugar, nothing can live in that shit.
>Popcorn
Dry, salty, and covered in oil. They're most likely edible, but the taste will be disgusting.

You sound like one of those people who throw out a beer if it's more than a half year old.

>>2822389
I thought it was a dead bird stuffed into a bag.

>>2822559
Fucking summerfags...

>Summer 2008
>Move into my dorm early because I was in the University marching band
>Roommate is coming the week after with a mini-fridge
>Until then, my mom gets me a cooler filled with ice and water, and puts some bananas in as a bonus, because at that time I had muscle spasms a lot in my legs
>Too tired from running around all day with my 30+Dynasty drums, accidently put icy-hot on sunburn
>December comes around, cleaning out the dorm
>find this old cooler, wonder if I have anything in there
>MY GOD, WHY?
>Cooler can't be saved, friend goes with me as I toss that shit in the dumpster next to the Music Building....

Fucking learned my lesson, I tell you what

>>2824429
...really?

>>2825173
>Projecting

>>2825210

Determine the truth for yourself. Buy a fresh steak at the grocery, buy a bell jar, vaccum seal the steak inside the jar, and wait.

Even though the jar is sealed, and there is no way to get inside, you'll still have maggots eventually.

>My turn to clean counters in my student flat
>Grudgingly cleaning some of my flatmates dishes because I don't want anymore penalties to my deposit
>Pick up cup that was buried under plates
>Film of green-grey mold
>Underneath it, slimyfied tea
>I don't know how long this has been here
>Quickly dump contents in bin
>CLOUD OF SPORES OH GOD WAS MY MOUTH OPEN

>>2825223

>implying that there is no such thing as spontaneous generation

>>2825217

That's still got a day or two left in it. Some parts still look edible, just cut them off, don't be a pussy.

>>2825226

When I was 10, Y2K was looming its angry head and my parents were concerned, to a certain extent. They went out in November, bought a -ton- of canned goods after Thanksgiving to get a good deal on it. Y'know, the kind with a long enough shelf life. We have a closet under the stairs in the basement that's pretty well insulated...except for the minor amount of flooding that we get when it rains too hard every so often. So they put all that food under the stairs. And Y2K "came" and went, and my parents shrugged and took some food out because, well, it's still good.

Nine months later, 9/11 comes. We live in New Jersey. My parents start freaking the hell out. They buy more and more and more food to replace the stuff they took out. They start emptying two-liter soda bottles and boiling water on the stove, putting boiled, "purified" water in the bottles and hoarding that on top of the food. For the next three years, they refuse to touch any of the food under the stairs because, well, we really might need it.

After 2005, my parents forget about the food. 2008, they remember it and make off-handed comments about how they should empty out that closet and throw all the food away. There is no way any of that food is edible. There is no way any of that water is fit for human consumption.

It's 2011. The flooding into the room has been getting worse and worse with the bad weather over the years, but it's not an immediate problem. When it floods, we ignore that room and just fix everything else.

It's waiting. It's festering. And I don't want to go back in there alone.

>>2825234

This sounds like the plot for an upcoming summer blockbuster; It Waits Beneath The Stairs.

FUND IT.

>>2825173
I just found the thread. Doesn't change any facts though.

>>2825223
And I was always the type of person to make sure my food was clean before eating and storing, and I never leave meat for more than a week.

...Oh god, I'm never going to eat anything again.

>>2825241

Don't worry about it, it's not like you haven't already inadvertently devoured hundreds of arthropods in your lifetime.

Just think of it as a protien supplement.

>>2825253
>Don't worry about it, it's not like you haven't already inadvertently devoured hundreds of arthropods in your lifetime.
>Just think of it as a protien supplement.

....that made it better, but it kind of made it worse too.

>>2825156
>>Implying a beer would remain unused for half a year in my kitchen

>>2824055
>time to check old pot

>>2822780
>>2822751
jesus I remember that episode.

That shit was fucked.

sigh, there is some messed up biology knowledge around here. So....

>there are flyeggs everywhere

no, there arent.
>they are just maggots
nope.
>but I want to scare people with the idea that they eat flyeggs
isnt going to happen.

so, now listen to me. For fly eggs, you need flies. and maggots burrowing into your meat, that would be pretty visible as they are around 5 mm (a fifth of an inch) long within a day or two, constantly moving and wobling. to get flies out of meat, you need flies that lay eggs on top of them, no other way. and cooking maggots would kill them just fine.

But what you should mention is that flies get easily in places you didnt suspect. As do other insects. There are moths that eat your flour, there are flies that invade your fridge, and cockroaches *you never new where there*. But most of the time, if you live clean enough and dont leave your meat without cover in the fridge, you are save and nothing is going to happen to it.

However, there ARE parasites in some meats, namely beef. If you eat your beef raw, you can ingest worm eggs that hatch into a worm that lives in your intestines and eats your pre-digested food. While this sounds like a good way to loose weight, the worm will grow, and if you dont get rid of him fast he can get to be several meters long.

And getting rid of him involves swallowing worm poison and getting ready for the crap of your life.

Not interesting, but here I go.

We did an experiment in tenth grade biology where we grew mold from beansprouts or apples or something. We put it away for a few weeks. We then checked on it and there was mold growing on it of course.

I threw up everywhere. It was okay.

>>2825286
Woo. I can eat again.

>>2825291
Right there with you bro

>>2825286
Yeah you can pretty much check for those little worms or whatves in flour by leaving a teaspoon of it out for a few minutes. If you come back and it's disturbed then there are bugs. If you baked with them you wouldn't die it would just make your baking a little flat. Maggots in everything ~ chuckle.

>>2825302
first of all, the worms I mentioned are in raw beef only.

So, I assume you mean the so called food moth larva. Which is quite visible and makes your flour smell like its gone bad, since that is basically what happened to it. And it turns darker, because they do digest and process it into not that tasty things. having those is pretty obvious

you just want people go and put out a spoon with a powder like flour somewhere and then freak out when a POWDER on a SPOON, a terrible unstable construction, in an area with air movement and possibly vibrations of people passing by gets disturbed in the slightest.
Sigh why do you enjoy telling these stories, they lack sustenance

>>2825310
Unlike those beef maggots! MMMM MMM!

>>2825312
you clearly didnt read my post properly.

They. Are. Not. Maggots.

maggots devour rotten or at least old meat/cheese/proteins

what I mentioned with the beef are worms. Not more, not less. A parasite, not a maggot, there is a big difference. one of them that this worm cannot live from beef, he cant hatch and grow in your beef, and if you cook it the egg is destroyed without trace.
That, and only certain parts of beef contain these eggs, if any. Basically, you can eat lots of tar-tar and never encounter one of them. Ever. Its just bad luck if you ever get one, and you dont have to be afraid to eat your steak medium-rare

>>2825318
oh, sure, blame me, its not like Im studying biology.

And people could prove a thousand years ago that maggots dont jsut evolve from rotten meat. Well, I guess modern science is wrong and you have scientific prove to convince everyone here that your opinion is right and the only one heard of.
Because flies merge with cows and pigs, I assume? is that how they get in the containers?
Or are they like the borg, assimilating live animals, and breaking out when it dies?

Or, could by any chance, your so called *sealed* containers actually... be not that sealed how you believe?

oh, and... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was my real reaction to the single cell lifefrom one. Phew, thanks for the good laugh.
There is no such thing as a cingle cell lifeform maggot stadium. There can be a single eggcell, a single sperm, but putting them both in the same room will result in a multi-cell organism, even if its a fetus one.

There are however bacteria and amöbea and shit if you consider them maggots instead of destruents, what they are. And those are not visible with the plain eye.

I believe what you saw where in fact not that sealed containers.

Or else I would have to worry that ants develop from honey because last summer some got into a SEALED glass of honey, oh noes!

FUCK YOU /ck/ I'M NEVER EATING AGAIN

>>2825333
Eh, I have my own garden so these roots growing out don't bother me that much. But then again, I grew up poor so there is no way I'm wasting money letting food rot for months. I just pretty much just buy things that I'll eat for the next 2 weeks. Except rice. That stuff WILL last for months.

>>2825286

>...*you never new where there*

stopped reading right there

>>2824853

Saved. That is a great pic.

>>2824853
You probably could've gotten someone to smoke that

I agree with
>>2825327
because I have retained basic rudimentary knowledge from high school.

>>2825335
Biology is hot, jussayin'

When I moved into a rented house I was putting food away in the cupboard,
and I saw a can and some other junk under the lazy susan
the can was some water chestnuts, from 1987

>>2825752
>the can was some water chestnuts, from 1987

If you didn't eat them, you don't know SHIT about cooking.

>>2822389
>look at that picture from afar
>apart from having spent too much time on /k/, i'm also somewhat high
>sack of potatoes looks like the dismembered head of an old WWII veteran
>what

>>2823917
Not the anon to whom you reply, but read this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_butter

i made chocolate cake from cake flour dated 1995. it was still good though. apparently flour doesn't go b ad.

>>2825777
It only goes bad is stored incorrectly and moisture/bugs/rodents can get to it. Otherwise, good for a looong time.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I once did experiments for high school on preservatives in food.
I exposed several things to mold spores; flour mixed with water, peaches, some other stuff, the scariest of which was a slice of Wonderbread.
Everything else supported life; the Wonderbread was ever as white as the day I'd purchased it. Being a stranger in a foreign land (I grew up in America, but am not of American parentage), I didn't grow up eating American bread and from this experiment, I now never will. It's... just... unnatural...

>>2825790

look up mcdonalds food lasting for 10+ years

>grade 6, some time in October we make jack-o-lanterns out of pumpkins
>have clear plastic bag, stores all the seeds inside, no pumpkin orange gunk
>leaves bag of wet seeds in desk
>forwards months to near summer vacation, time to clean out the desk
>uncovers the bag of seeds, full of seeds growing out roots
>my reaction
I threw away the bag though...

>>2825793

look up many foods lasting decades when properly stored

>>2825770
I opened the can to check them, they smelled and looked good

>>2825844
It wasn't properly stored.

>>2825790
That bread is made for large groups of idiots and is hardly the norm for anyone with any sense of decency, even in my retarded country. Go to a real bakery and buy real bread. Why you haven't already done this is beyond me.

>>2825910

yes it was.

>>2825960
it was left in the open. That's the point.

>>2825965

beef jerky

walnuts
apple
cheese sandwich
cake

leave them out, see what happens
>nothing in a temperate climate
>same as that bullshit maccas cheeseburger

>be 2007, am 18 years old
>small family gathering from my mom's side of the family
>go to some small, upscale place overlooking the river
Don't remember what I ordered, but I remember my brother ordering some kind of fish with some sauce that has egg in it (i'm a newb for not remembering, I know)
>fast forward to later that night
>brother staying at my place, brings his leftovers
>puts them on top of fridge for some reason
>a week later, ungodly, eldritch stench coming from the kitchen
>tear my pantry, fridge, and spice cabinets apart looking for the source
>look on top of fridge, see massive death swarm of flies
>OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
>literally blast half a bottle of raid on it, must purge the impure
>make bonfire and burn it on a pyre
Was the only way to dispose of such evil

>be in 3rd or 4th grade
>Saturday, YMCA soccer woo
>run down for breakfast
>oh look, powdered donuts
>actually just moldy cake donuts
>finish game
>come home, shit and vomit non stop for 2 solid days
>can't sleep
>watch SNL for the first time because i'm still awake with my mom
>she's holding me
>she died a few years later
>one of the few happy memories I have with her
>;_________;

>freshman year of college
>live in dorm, acquire minifridge
>mangoes in dat bitch
>home for winter break
>return to the smell of evil
>open fridge
>"dear god what have I done?"
>fifth floor, dumpster too far
>throw out window

>notice Tupperware in fridge that has been there for ~2 years
>plan day to clean out entire fridge
>put on latex gloves and a mask
>close my eyes then open tupperware
>it is just baking soda
>only about 3 things were outdated
>mfw
everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png

>friend makes vegetable stew
>mild at best
>no one touches for rest of night
>no one touches for rest of week
>month
>2 months
>walk into kitchen after work and see his gf frozen in horror as lychee is growing out the top of the crock pot
> laughed as friend had to clean

>04
>senior year of high school
>friends and i purposefully leave milk, burritos, fruit, pizza whatever in locker all year
> last week empty contents of locker all over campus in our area and leave garbage in bush
> next day huge pile of garbage and spoiled food in our spot that the janitor left
> don't care because its last week and leave early

>Come back from a 3 months trip.
>Electricity bill wasn't on auto pay.
>Open mailbox, retrieve 2 months old warning letter stating that current will be cut within a week without immediate payment.
>fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
>run upstairs.
>cadaver stench through the door.
>open freezer compartment, puke in my mouth
>venison, beef steaks, salmon fillets, loafs of bread have all melt in a gray sponge.
>start retrieving, runny texture that slips between the fingers. Maggots in the fridge door's gasket.
>clean with every products known to man, lemon juice, iodine, chemical products.
>declare freezer bio hazard area.
>2 years later, the smell was still noticeable.

>>2826066

/lit/ fag here. This is the first thing I read as I crossed the border into this fair land. You fellows are alright

(you could work on your sentence structure and grammar though)

>>2826154
> Comes to a board dedicated to food and cooking.
> Post in a thread that is hardly related to food and cooking.
> Has nothing to contribute.
> Lectures on the grammar and sentence structures.

This is why you have no friends

>>2826178
On second thought, I will depart.

> have been dating this guy for a while now
> wonder why he always comes over to cook at my house since he has a good stove and such
> go to his house one night and plan to make him something nice
> mfw i open the fridge and there's a few pots with crusted/molded variations of chili or some kind of pasta
also same mfw he fucking puts freezer brand enchiladas that's in an aluminum foil pan in the goddamn microwave!

>>2826178
>Calls one sentence a lecture.
ADHD much?

>>2826242
Diagnoses a severe disorder from a 5 lines post.

Greg House much?

>>2826250

>Thinks ADHD is severe

>>2826252
>Thinks ADHD is all right
Not as severe as your down syndrome for sure

>>2826250
>Implying I diagnosed anything at all rather than asking a simple question.

>>2826257
>Implying it wasn't a rhetorical question and you actually expected an answer

>>2826255

>Thinks both ADHD and Downs Syndrome are real and not just excuses made up by parents because their kids are dumb.

>>2826293
>The ADHD you could maybe make an argument for, but seriously, believing that Down's Syndrome isn't a real thing? That's retarded even for trolling.

>>2826301
>greentexting a sentence

Oh my god, y'all are such slobs. Seriously, who the fuck can't once in a while toss out their leftovers? God damn man children.

>>2826293
> Confirmed for no-cluer, maybe your kids will be born with down and you'll get them back on track thanks to your great parenting.

Fucking plant that shit in your backyard bro.

>>2822839
It's a fucking potato.

Do you even know the function of potato roots or plants in general?

I have three tales, two terrible and one with a happy ending.

>Thirteen years old, moving in with mom and little bro after years of being on the road with my dad.
>Playing with cat, rubber ball lands on top of fridge; reach up to find it.
>My brother yells for me to cease my actions, but it is already too late.
>My fingers broke through something hard into something cold and mushy. What the shit?
>Bring hand back down; covered in something grey and purple.
>Look of horror on my brother's face.
> Apparently, my mother had placed some plantains on top of the fridge so they could mature.
>One was forgotten. This happened seven years prior.
>I just stuck my hand in a seven year old plantain mummy.

>Seventeen, helping grandma around the house after her knee surgery.
>Decide to clean her fridge after opening a tub of black sour cream.
>Mystery black glass tupper in back of fridge.
>Go get gas mask and rubber gloves.
>White spore cloud pours over edge of open tupper.
>The horror.
>Grandma says it's a slice of wedding cake from when she was married at age sixteen.

>Turn 18, dead granddad's lawyer contacts me about some inherited property I wasn't allowed to touch until my 18th birthday.
>Travel to the motherland to claim my property.
>Beautiful forest and an old mansion in ruins.
>Cellar intact: jarred meats and honey. Meat is mummified, honey is delicious.
>Hidden door inside cellar.
>It's a goddamn vintage liquor store.
>Note on the table in the middle says "Happy birthday" in my granddad's handwriting, kept in place by the glass eye he used to let me play with.

>dad decides to bake frozen fish in the oven
>leaves pan and grill in oven
>weeks pass and the oven is untouched
>decide to use it to make baked potatos
>preheat oven
>while prepping, smell distinct salty rotten fish in the air
>figure out where it's coming from
>open oven
>big waft of hot air smelling like putrid but distinctly salty rotten fish
>realize dad left the fucking pan and grill in the oven without even cleaning it, leaving bits of fish on the grill and rotten liquid in the pan
>my face when i had to clean after his shit


Not a recent story but one that I remember so vividly because of the smell. My dad is incompetent as fuck when he's buzzed in the kitchen.

>>2826414
I don't know how people can forget stuff in the oven. I mean doesn't the whole kitchen heat up?

>>2826417
We don't bake a lot, so if we leave something in there then it won't see the light again until we decide to something else.

And no, our kitchen doesn't heat up because we keep it mostly tidy so shit doesn't catch on fire and heat up the kitchen.

>>2826417
>I mean doesn't the whole kitchen heat up?
what the fuck are you talking about

>>2826417
Have you ever been so far oven as decided to use go want to look more like heat the kitchen?

>>2826419
>>2826418
When I cook with the oven, I can feel heat emanating from it. Also, it's on top of the stove so when I use the stove, the oven can also be felt. Eh, I guess it only happens with small kitchens then.

>>2826425
Oven was off dude.

>>2826425
Oops, bottom of the stove.

>>2826425
it happens in anywhere there's an oven. Never once did >>2826414 say the oven was left on for weeks and weeks. Just that the pan was left in there.

>>2826426
Oh, I just misread the story then. I thought he baked the fish and just left it there not that they finished eating the fish but left the uncleaned pan. Carry on then.

Could someone put "take me closer, I want to
hit them with my sword" on op's potato pic?

>>2826442
>>>memegenerator

>>2826412
Last story in particular is very cool.
Gratz man, he sounds like he was an awesome guy.

>>2826442
fuckin love how you think
lol'd

Does this pic remind anyon of Portal 2?

>>2826412
wow that last story was very touching

This whole thread.

>>2828424
Yep.
>>2828820
>bumping with puke
It tells a lot about you.

>Kebab shop
>Turkish guy
>Large mixed kebab and chips please man
>Waiting for kebab
>Guy is moving giant tubs of creosote out back
>Wtf
>2 polish guys come in
>Dude is speaking russian while making their order
>Polish guys sitting quietly
>They get order and leave
>"Yeah if you speak russian you scare off the polish guys"
>Not sure if ok with this
>Kebab was fucking delicious, crazy russian turkish creosote salesmans, you're ok

>>2828864

Uhh, what? Looks like the turkish guy was bulshitting you.

>Be in highschool just before summer holidays
>while cleaning out locker find a coke bottle full of milk that I had put there at the beginning of the year and forgotten about.
>The bottle was so hard from the pressure of the milk and there was a complete separation between white solid and almost clear liquid.
>Dare a friends little brother to open the bottle while in the canteen.
>He twists it half way, nothing, then, BOOM!
>The most disgusting, rancid, festering liquid explodes over everyone in a 10 foot radius.
>The kid gets covered, mainly on his chest and face, and starts vomiting everywhere.
>Suddenly everyone in the canteen gets the smell and starts vomiting.
>100 kids vomiting everywhere
>The canteen had to be closed for 3 days.
>good times.

>>2828884
cool story bro

>moving into another apartment
>3 months later I decide to get out my rice cooker again
>Open
>grey gooish matter with webby mold everywhere
>and the smell
>AND THE FFFUCKING SMELL
had to throw rice cooker away

>>2828884
>100 kids vomiting everywhere

Yeah. Uh huh.

>Taking Forensic Science
>As an experiment, bury huge slabs of pork in things like sand, plastic wrap and dirt for months
>Dig them up every few weeks to examine decomp
>Meat wrapped in plastic is rancid, runny with yellow ooze and smells like sulfur - also rots a lot slower than the other pieces of meat, which by then carried no odor and were shriveled

Sort of related. Uhhg, that shit was horrible. But, more food related.

>Be about 8
>Mother makes Jello with fruit in it, stores it in the fridge
>Weeks go by, finally pull out the container, can't tell it's Jello
>The horror when I open it and find a lumpy, runny jello mixture lined with mold

I've found so many containers of moldy leftovers and Pasta at my dad's.

just some potatoes try to grow. he or she probrobly forgot they were in there. straining towards the light. or, don.t bend over in the garden momma, you know them taters got eyes.

>Jar of applesauce
>Eat half of it in next two days, then it goes untouched for about a month
>Open fridge, discover applesauce jar
>Mold forest inside
>Nope.jpg
>Throw entire jar in recycle bin, moldy applesauce and all
>Wonder if some trash guy, somewhere, will have to deal with that

>Few years back when I was living in mom's house
>She had a habit of cooking, putting leftovers in fridge, then not finishing them off.
>I would rummage through fridge whenever hungry, find tupperware of god knows what, spawning black slime and puffs of mold fuzz.
>Put it back in fridge and pretend I never saw that.

>Father goes shopping for produce once a month, buys a ton of shit
>He doesn't understand the concept that fresh produce tends to go bad in a week or two
>He can't be convinced to go for smaller, more frequent trips. He also won't use it up when he notices something starting to go. I'm home just a few days a week, only so much I can do about it.
>Must personally scour fridge, isolating anything with mold and get rid of it to try to halt its progression, a constant battle against the plague
>Pick up bag of carrots, inspect, mold covering several of them, anything that can't be salvaged must be tossed
>Same for the peppers, with white tufts growing out of anywhere they could penetrate
>Tomatoes have black spots of rot developing
>Find a festering old orange, shriveled and turned an ashy white, sunken in and hardened
>Bag with a few semi-liquefied grapes left, anything not degraded to slime has shrunk and wrinkled into a raisin-looking abomination
>Open cream cheese package, mold has eaten more than he has of it
>Remnants of lettuce, turned to black slime, a sickly greenish-brown liquid gathering at the corners of the container
>His only response, "Eat it, it's still good."

>Around 12 years old, visited a friend's house for a sleepover
>Cereal for breakfast
>Her mother has an entire closet, big enough to walk into, filled with boxes of cereal
>Check dates on them, some from YEARS back
>Most boxes opened, maybe a bowl or two missing from them
>Edges on boxes towards the back are wrinkled and soggy
>Friend thinks nothing of it, picks a box towards the front, pours me and herself a bowl
>Hesitantly take a bite
>Stale
>She and her younger cousin eat with delight

>parents work 20 hours a day, I take care of the house
>go away to college
>come home for winter break 5 months later
>find jars/boxes/cans that I opened...5 months ago

>>2829002

My dad always had a way of asking me and my younger brother to do chores my mother would assign to him because he didn't want to do it himself. It always started off with "Hey C, B, did ya wanna do a favor for me?" in an upbeat tone with the implication we would get a reward out of it. But this time we could tell by his voice something was amiss. I was 9 at the time.

>"Hey guys wanna do a favor for me?"
>stare hesitantly
>"aww come on, I'll give ya a couple'a bob" (2 dollars)
>Look at my brother, "umm not really"
>You don't want to help your dad out?
>My younger brother caves and says yeah sure (he is 8)
>Dad leads us out into the backyard and in front of a small refrigerator that was kind of tucked away.

A little background on this refrigerator.
My parents picked it up from a friend of a friend for our christmas party/bbq/dinner/drinking shindig we did every year. They used it to store mostly beer, but also ice in the freezer compartment. Now, at the end of christmas day we still had a lot of food left, 90% of it being seafood. Crab, prawns, fish, a bit of lobster - you name it. The other 10% was just snacks we ate the next day. The fridge was still plugged in at the time and the seafood platter was too big to stuff into the fridge in our kitchen so my dad put it in the spare fridge that was kept outside under the patio where everyone was drinking and eating.

Now, 2 days after christmas my dad and older brother had to clean the patio because there was shit everywhere and they moved and unplugged the fridge and put it somewhere else and left it there.


Cont

>>2829030

>it was April the next year
>seafood
>unplugged fridge sitting in the garden
>we had already accepted to do this "favor"
>there is no turning back.
>open fridge
>pure death
>the cling wrap had melded into the rotting mess and the once white platter was now covered in a black liquid
>the smell makes my eyes water
>Arm myself with a teatowel as a gas mask, kitchen dish gloves and a shovel
>Brother with a giant garbage bag and same gas mask/glove combo
>Use the shovel to remove the evil
>the platter slips off mid-extraction and black/green sludge hits the floor and splashes onto shoes
>Discover maggots
>run really far away and inform dad of our failure
>"Well go back out there and finish it"
>.......
>End up shoveling what we could into the garbage back and chucking it over the back fence into a paddock
>spray the maggots and sludge away with a hose
>Never get the $2 he promised.


tl;dr I don't like seafood.

>>2829032
Damn, your pop is an asshole. Guess we have something in common.

Cleaning out my friends mom's kitchen with my friend whilst his mom is away on holiday.

Find this.

>>2828874
He was speaking russian or some kind of fucked up language like that.
And the creosote was just wierd, he moved like 12, 5 gallon tubs of the shit from one side of the kitchen to the other. Why the fuck would a kebab shop need so much fucking creosote?

Some of the student houses I've been in beggar belief, how the fuck do some people breathe by themself if they can't wash a plate or hoover occasionally.
My house isn't exactly spotless but there isn't a huge pile of washing up moulding, a pile of rubbish next to an overflowing bin stinking the house out, sticky substances fucking everyone and a toilet covered in shit stains. They seem to think I'm a neat freak because of it.

Anyway, the previous tennants were fucking slobs according to my housemate who was here last year. I was doing a few repairs as a favour to the landlord including the breakfast bar which has 2 fridges under a countertop and the breakfast bar on the other side.
Took the fridges out. Expecting a mess but nothing like what confronted me, mould, liquid vegetables, bits of rotted meat, about 10 dead mice. What the actual fuck.
Hoovered it out, had to get underneath to brace the sides of the counter (they'd been kicked in and the brackets were shit), fucking stank like shit even though i'd given it a scrub.

>college
>roommates are pigs
>deal with it
>fridge smells odd
>ignore move my drinks to my room
>smell gets worse
>room inspection
>offer to defrost fridge
>start cleaning out
>moldy hotdogs
>moldy cheesecake
>moldy smoothie
>green white and black mold
>smell was horrid
>nearly vomit
>clean inside of fridge with bleach
>never again

>living with a roommate
>notice three partially emptied, months-old bottles of tonic in the back of the fridge
>store brand, <$1 apiece
>they are all completely flat
>so old, no clue as to original ownership
>one was nearly empty
>no one had used any of these in mixing cocktails in months
>empty the nearly empty one
>roommate notices the bottle in the recycling >"why'd you throw out my tonic?"
>over a year later, same two remaining bottles in fridge
>untouched since last time
>better not fuck w/ them, roommate will cry foul

this one involves neglect, but not leading to fungal growth, just waste

>plant summer herbs & tomatoes communally with roomate
>clip some herbs for recipes
>roommate complains that i'm clipping the plant too young, risking overharvesting it to death early in the summer
>throughout summer he raises this same complaint regardless of plant size or time elapsed
>realize i can use fresh herbs only when he's gone or won't notice
>he wants to reserve most homegrown tomaotes for baking quiche, complains when i use them on sandwiches
>forego tomatoes on many sandwiches
>end of summer, massive excess foliage on herbs
>90% of the excess herbs dry out and die
>dozens of tomatoes overripen, shrivel up, die on the stalk
>tell roommate we're moving off communal food system

>>2829076
>houses I've been in beggar belief,
>or hoover occasionally
>pile of washing up moulding
>sticky substances fucking everyone
>What the actual fuck

What the actual fuck, indeed. And a jolly good time it was reading that.

>>2829076
you hoovered 10 dead mice?

I have an opposite story to tell.
>open up one of those oscar myer deli fresh things of ham I got on clearance for 50c
>eat one piece, shove in back of fridge to make room for beer
>discover 1 month later, expecting the foulest
>looks normal, hmm
>sniff, smells normal, wtf
>try a piece, and it's as good as the day I opened it
>make a Stromboli out of it and don't die
wtf, how much preservatives do they put in that shit?

>reading this thread a few hours ago
>getting really grossed out
>oh god what's that smell...
>puke all over keyboard
>dog farted
>fuck you /ck/

Need more gross stories for the rapture

>>2829228
Yeah, got an industrial strength henry hoover, it fucking ate them mice for breakfast. Granted it's probably not good for the hoover but I've had enough picking up dead mice with my cat in my parents house being such an active hunter.

>10, get 3 yohoos, forget about one.
>find it weeks/months later at the back of fridge
>score
>augh no, battery acid burning metal taste
>can't drink it to this day.

>>2829627
emptying it must have been gross

>>2829322
I walked into the kitchen and there were 27 empty PBR cans in the sink and water sitting in a dirty cast iron skillet. Almost puked all over thinking of this thread.

>>2829777
>>grandma refuses to take me to ER
pussy

we should archive this shit

>>2829777
>tonsil problems ever since
>doesn't just remove tonsils
pussy

>>2829002
This...this is actually pretty sad.

As for my own story:
>2010
>Helping parents clean out the fridge
>It's not too bad, no expired/moldy food or anything
>Find jar of mint jelly
>"Use by something something 2007"
>It still looked kinda good. It was vibrantly green, anyway.

Later that day:
>Cleaning out freezer part of fridge
>Boxes of personal frozen pizzas mom used to buy for lunch in the summer sometimes
>Dated between 2006 and 2009
>Frozen box of corndogs dated 2008
>Homemade marinara sauce mom froze because we had extra
>"Mom, how old is this"
>She didn't even remember putting it in there
>Find frozen thing of home-made chicken soup
>"Mom-"
>"Just throw it out, anon."
>I worry about how long they were in there.

Thing is, we had 6 people in my family (4 kids), and all of us were teens at the same time. She had to feed all of us plus our dad (who did physical labor and worked up an appetite), so she'd always have to make extra food. Things like soup and sauce got frozen, but we usually forgot about them.

>walk into the kitchen
>cat sleeping in the cutlery shelf
>condiments in the cutlery shelf
>dried compressed cat and dogshit on the floor
>$900 coffee machine in a broken pile on the floor

>fire the manager we hired to run our motel on the spot

>check the finances to find $74,000 has gone missing
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>housesitting grandparents house
>bottle of grape juice in fridge
>mmm grape juice
>proceed to drink from bottle
>suddenly solid, jelly-like globules in mouth
>8 months past expiry date.
>never drink grape juice again

When I was at college I had lots of priority mail tape from shipping stuff on ebay. One day we made bologne sandwiches and had one left. I decided it would be a neat experiment to seal a sandwich in a priority mail vhs sized box. Sealed it very thoroughly with priority mail tape. Add more tape over the next couple years while shifting the box around for a change of temperatures. Actually mail sandwich to person.

9
>PLay around brother room
>See what looks like a ball
>Ball is very hard and hollow
>Brother comes in a tells me that what i was holding was a year old orange.


10 years old
>Mother buys loaf of bread from pantry
>I go and make a PB&J Sandwich
>Half way through eating i feel lump in my mouth.
>Spit out and look
>See a blueish lump
>MFW i ate slices from a bread that expired a week ago.

12
>Cleaning fridge
>See sack of week old potatoes on top of fridge
>Lift
>See squirming mass of maggots caused by flies

MFW

>>2830582
i like the open-endedness here.

>go to parents how after being away at college for three years.
>Go to make sandwich.
>bread expired three weeks ago
>turkey expired a week ago
>provolone cheese expired a week ago
>mom says "it's ok, those dates mean nothing"
>pull out bread, lumpy and gross
>pull out meat, smells like ass
>pull out cheese, mold visible
>All in house food is bad because after I moved out they switched to almost nothing but takeout food

>>2830606
I should add it wasn't because I cooked while I lived there, but because they stopped caring about food in the house once all the kids left
>there for holidays
>go to eat cheese-its
>stale as fuck
>expired three months after I left (2 years ago)

>mfw i sage this thread until it dies

>>2830612
good luck with that

>>2830651
Should be giving your sage attention to the In N Out burger thread or those fucking dakota fanning taco bell ones

>>2830651
My bad, that was meant for the guy above you obviously

This thread has given me the motivation to clean out my parents' fridge. I threw out three-month old sauerbraten and mashed potatoes mixed together, as well as carrots and tomatoes which had gone bad. Thank you those who posted on the thread. Now, for my story (weak as it seems):
>parents keep potatoes in cupboard
>they don't keep track of how old they are
>neglect potatoes
>I drop by to clean the house
>revolting smell lingers around cupboard eventually
>I peer inside and remove bag
>literally dripping with liquid
>tangled roots - tangled roots everywhere
>I toss in garbage
>clean out cupboard
>buy new liner for cupboard
>stench lingers for a month

>be college studnet
>buy red potatoes to cook
>cook them once
>month or two later realize bag is till in pantry
>try to pick up back, welded to shelf by rotting grossness
>throw away sack while giant pool of nastiness festers on shelf
>never put another piece of food on that shelf
>move out year later
>landlord calls me and tells me that mold infestation cost me deposit
>live much more healthier after moving over

>find strange container in fridge
>tupperware has some kind of green sludge in it
>no idea what it is
>dad decides it tastes okay and throws it into some chili
>mfw we ate coconut milk that was 6 months old and had turned green.

>>2829761
When I get round to emptying it, it'll be a case of taking the bag off, throwing it in the dustbin and putting a new one on.

Luckily I am going home tomorrow as soon as my van's back from the garage, so it'll be a job for my housemates staying over the summer.

>Eating 2 week old chilli, cold and in sandwiches
>Smells kind of funky
>Tastes good though man
>Epic shit the next morning, I nearly vomited from how bad it smelt
>2 inch wide skidmark raised about a quarter inch off the bowl made up of some horrifically yellow shit
>Destroy toilet brush cleaning it off
>Housemate goes in for a piss, vomits.

also

>Drunk at a friends house
>His parents buy chinese food in bulk and leave it on the counter top for ages
>Preservatives kind of save it from being too fucked
>Drunkenly eating ribs, notice white mould.
>Month old chinese food, not refrigerated.
>Damage is done, keep eating.

There are no words for the peculiarly penetrating ammonia smell of rotten spuds. We used to get a big 25kg bag to last us through the week; in summer we wouldn't quite use them up fast enough before they'd start to go bad, and we'd have to fish around for the non-rotten ones in the centre while the aroma of liquefying taters on the edges assaulted you. And because you had to reach right down to the bottom, your nose was right up in it as well.

At least cleaning our septic tank was only an occasional thing.

> left logs seeded with shiitake and wrapped in foil, tape and trash bag in cellar for a year
> finally took them out to unwrap them
> unwrap logs, black liquid in the garbage bag
> tiny dead black flies everywhere
> dark green mold that looks like moss
> weird orange mold
> black mold
> white and brown mold (possibly shiitake)
> below the tape, there were tiny yellow maggots
> below the foil were millipedes
> how did they get there
> proceed arranging the logs in the garden
> nearly puking every time I have to remove a strip of tape
> still hoping for a harvest but there hasn't been much rain lately

>a month ago
>visit grandma at old people's home
>she knows I'm a sweet tooth
>a huge fucking bag of chocolate bars and other similar stuff
>check the bag when I get home
>"oh a milka bar"
>best before: 12/4/2007
>NOPE

After a thorough inspection I realised that almost everything in that bag was expired since more than two years ago.

>>2826412
you lucky motherfucker. the last one more than makes up fr the other two.

>get food processor out
>open it
>rankest dankest most disgusting smell ever
>ohshitnigger, i didnt take the blades out and wash them after making fishcakes months earlier
>throw it out

>>2831622
That is nasty... who stores dirty appliances in the first place? How could you put the dirty blade in and not notice?

>Reading this thread
>Remember the fruit compartment of my fridge has a ton of oranges my parents gave me from their backyard a few months ago
>Terrified to open bag - who knows what shriveling, mold-laden horror lay beyond the plastic?
>Oranges are actually okay, none being spoiled
>Make orange juice.
>Everything went better than expected.

>be friend with girl for about 5 years
>for those 5 years there was been a potato sitting on a shelf in her kitchen
>one day ask her what's up with it, she doesn't know, says it has always been there since they moved in 10 years ago
>I take a knife and stab it
>it collapses and black ooze flows out
>my face

>>2831920
>there was been
>there was been
>there was been
>there was been
>there was been

>>2831920
> be friends with a girl

the stories posted here are artistic works of such and such, only a fool etc

archive~

>>2831920
>there was been a potato
Nigga u crazy

>Thanksgiving
>Wonderful meal
>Friends and family are over, having a grand time
>Put leftovers away in the fridge
>Excuse myself to go play some vidya
>Everybody leaves eventually
>Hear loud screams from my mother calling me down
>Dad's lungs are hemorrhaging
>ohgodohgod
>Wait outside for ambulance
>Gets there, they rush off
>We trail behind
>Get to hospital
>Bad news, etc.
>Get home, crying, family comes back over, crying
>Sleep on the couch
>Next morning, hungry
>Open fridge for some milk for my cereal
>See Thanksgiving leftovers
>mfw

bump

Circa 2004 I used to make waffles a whole bunch on the weekends when I was in high school. Decided to make waffles again for nostalgic purposes. I gather all ingredients and open waffle maker to find a waffle. Didn't make waffles ever again.

>keep eggs in carton for a year because I was convinced chickens would hatch
>get tired of waiting and decide to see what's going on
>crack one egg open
>black goo everywhere
>it stinks horrible
>get lightheaded
>wake up 5 hours later with vomit in my mouth and a pounding headache

>>2832748

It was actually the symbiote from Spiderman.

Congrats bro, you are now Venom.

Go kill peter parker and fuck his bitch.

>>2832734
what did it look like?

>buy can of diced peaches
>leave it for no less than two days
>notice small dent in side when opening
>pure fucking black liquid inside
>absolutely horrid stench
>never eat peaches again

>>2832069

This reminds me a bit of one of my own sorrowful food issues.

>Have delicious spiral ham, smoked with hickory, on Friday a few years back
>Saturday night get results back from vet, my very first dog of 7 years has been vomiting a lot and is skinny
>he has horrible diabeetus, his eyes are failing, his kidneys will go in 6 months
>decide fuck that, let's put him down tomorrow, I don't want him to suffer
>go to vet Sunday, horrible crying, he's terrified of metal table, father puts down lumberjack and wraps him in it to calm him
>they go out, I stay
>watch the light leave his eyes slowly
>try to close them, can't, muscle tense.
>kiss his head one last time, wrap him in the coat further
>he's cremated in it
>when we get back home mum makes ham salad out of the leftovers
>it's delicious, but can't taste it through sorrow

Every time I eat ham salad now I feel an overwhelming despair.

>>2833196
Hope you realize the vomiting and kidney functions can actually go back to pretty much normal after starting insulin therapy, vomiting is just a result of ketoacidosis which you get if you go a long period of time with type 1 diabetes and not getting any insulin.

>>2833238
They actually told us that insulin injections were an option, but that his eyesight would still go and the injections would be painful and only delay the eventual organ failure for about a year.

I have two new dogs now and I try really hard to keep them healthy so it won't happen again.

>>2833296
Trust me insulin injections are completely painless, they only sting slightly like a mosquito bite, vets always want to put animals down for stupid reasons, this cat I had got took a hit in the head and got some nerve damage that made its tail twitch every now and then and they wanted to put it down for that

I didn't and a year later the twitch was completely gone and it was never in any kind of pain

I've got a few to share...

>Be sophomore in high school
>Had that stupid biology project where we pretended an egg was our child
>Kept it in tupperware so it wouldn't break. Months pass (roughly five or six) and got accepted to a better school. It`s the last few days of school, clean out locker. Hated that school anways.
>THAT FUCKING EGG.
>Sniff container. "....huh...." Didn't expect much of it.
>Walk over to a staircase, over a busy area of the school and dropped it from above. Someone screamed, and the stench. OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK.
>Principle checks out the scene, recoils, and looks around nervously, and starts barking at people.
>People circle around the goo, and pointing at it. Gagging noises were heard.
>Walked away giggling.

Another.

>Be 8-9 years old, staying at Grandmother's house. (Noturious pack-rat to insane levels.)
>It's 3 am, be hungry and go to cupboard to make oatmeal.
>Open container, and MOTHS ARE SWARMING OUT OF THERE.
>Recoil back, and peer into container and things are wriggling in there.
>Grandma walks in, asks what I'm doing up. "I'm making breakfast for you grandma!"
>She smiles, and I go ahead and make it.
>OH GOD SHE ATE IT- trying to refraing from giggling.
>Tell parents. Few days later, they clean her kitchen, and are horrified.

I've got plenty of stories from way back when. Because of Gramma, I frequently clean my fridge, because I don't want remember some of those horrifying things.

>Mfw some teacher knowingly slung a box of food in with the lost and found knowing it would just be forgotten.

As a child you would not understand, but tupperware is expensive as fuck.

>>Friend asks me to move into his house, promises real cheap rent
>>I move in, turns out 4 other guys are living there illegally, total of 6 guys 1 house.
>>No one ever cleans, check dates on food, or stores food properly.

Highlights of my brief stay there before the city came and kicked people out were:
>>Finding a tub of sour cream in the back of the fridge that expired 2 years ago.
>>Finding a jar full of dead maggots in the cupboard.
>>Opening up a package of pasta to find larva in the noodles.
>> Cleaning out the fridge and finding this at the bottom.

Turned out his parents had left the country a year ago and left him in charge of the house to 'teach him some responsibility.' Epic fail on their part.

>have jar of honey
>forget about it for about 2 years
>find it
>it's still delicious

they're not kidding when they say honey can last a long time

>>2834526
Honey is the only food that never spoils. Ever.

>>2834546

Honey and blood are also the only two "perfect foods," meaning you could live exclusively on a diet of either of them.

>>2834546
Twinkies, soy sauce, and sugar don't either.

>>2834546
I've heard that they found ancient jars of honey from egypt that are still edible
>>2834558
blood too?
>>2834561
Nah, twinkies can go bad.

>>2834558
Bull shit. There's a tradition in some culture where they get old guys to eat nothing but honey until they start shitting pure honey and eventually die of malnutrition. They were then turned into honey mummies and it was thought that they could cure disease.

>>2834648
>honey mummies
mhm.