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Large Hadron Collidor or Proto Def-star?

no... NO DONT FUCKING COLLIDE MY LARGE HADRONS!

no means no /b/. don't collide hadrons.

>>49770218
Large Hadron Collidor

What the fuck is that thing?

Particle physics gives me a hadron.

WHAT IS THIS!?!??!

can i have the motivation poster of it i forgot to save it last time

IMMA GET HADRON COLLIDED.

Can't wait can't wait can't wait

>>49770253
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collidor

SUPER COLIDER! I MARRIED HER!!

amirite?

Haha! Little do they know that I sent all my Hadrons to Thailand!!

When you see it...

large hardon collidor

>>49770365
I SAW IT I SAW IT

>>49770285


Fail, wikipedia knows nothing

Large Hardon Collider

As long as balls don't touch, we will be okay.

>>49770400
You'll get the idea.

those CERN eggheads are gonna screw us all when they find not the Higgs-Boson particle but headcrabs. get your crowbars.

Get ready for that Higgs-boson to shrink the planet to the size of a pea.

Prepare for... Unexpected consequences

>>49770427


You mean the hackers on steroids of /b/ know nothing?

...delivers ...

>>49770391
>>49770423

It's Hadron. HAD RON. Dumb shits.

>>49770447
Unforseen

>>49770423
i see what you did there

>>49770180
In before delayed till December 31 2011

>>49770508
i really do hope at the bottom of my heart that your a troll

I have a high-school understanding of science, but every time this Hadron Collider thing gets explained to me, my understanding grows more hazy.

Could someone please explain it to me?

in b4 wikipedia, google etc.

Also, I'm guessing it won't spell disaster for us all...otherwise they wouldn't even dream of turning it on...right...right?

>>49770512
I realised that after I pressed submit

DESTROY US ALL!

>>49770341
Specifically, Bangkok.

>>49770617
DELETE-BUTTON!

VITAL ALERT. AUTONOMOUS UNITS SUBSUMED. MANDATORY COMPLIANCE WITH ALL TENENTS OF ADVISORIAL ASSISTANCE ACT. THREAT LEVEL ADJUSTMENT. PROBE. EXPUNGE.

>>49770685
I know I know... Couldn't be bothered.

Pssshh... who cares? 16.5 miles of stupid if you ask me... smashing protons against eachother at nearly the speed of light? Can it grill a steak? If not, I don't care.

DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

Our remote sensors indicate that the process is accelerating toward a dark-energy flare. Anyone left in the vicinity will be subjected to energetic events whose effects are beyond my powers of speculation! The manner in which these exceedingly rare quantum effects percolate up into the physical plane will be fascinating to witness; however, not at first hand. The ravages to cellular material are unimaginable. Although, I suppose we really should send a foray party for specimens at some point after the event.

I remember some freak on Tom Green's show talking about this. Is that the origin of it, or am I missing something?

ONGOING SECTOR SWEEP. BIOTICS CONFIRMED. CONTINUE SURFACE SECTOR SWEEP. REMOTE COMPLIANCE. EXTERMINATE. SEEK PASSIVE SIGNATURE IMPRINT. MANDATE SUBLEVEL RESTRICTIONS.

GORDON! GET AWAY FROM THE REACTOR! GORDON, G-ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst, one who has acquired an almost messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens. His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of instinct, ignorance and decay. Some of the worst excesses of the Black Mesa Incident have been laid directly at his feet. And yet unsophisticated minds continue to imbue him with romantic power, giving him such dangerous poetic labels as the One Free Man, the Opener of the Way.

Let me remind all citizens of the dangers of magical thinking. We have scarcely begun to climb from the dark pit of our species' evolution. Let us not slide backward into oblivion, just as we have finally begun to see the light. If you see this so-called Free Man, report him. Civic deeds do not go unrewarded. And contrariwise, complicity with his cause will not go unpunished.

Be wise. Be safe. Be aware.

I pray for strange matter.

>>49770555

You're a dumbshit the prediction is Dec 21st 2012 not Jan 1.

"Welcome to Black Mesa Research facility."

>>49770423
Thanks for the motivation, anon!

ALL AUTONOMOUS UNITS: ACCEPT MANDATORY SECTOR ASSIMILATION. COORDINATED CONSTRICTION UNDERWAY. DEBRIDE AND CAUTERIZE. ENTERING PHASE NINE, ENHANCED COMPLIANCE. DEPLOY ADVISORY CONTROL AND OVERSIGHT. SUBMIT AND BE SUBSUMED.

>>49770616
particle collissions like these and at ORDERS OF FUCKING MAGINITUE HIGHER ENERGY occur *ALL* the fucking time in the universe, even in our own upper atmosphere/the moon/whatever.
I highly doubt that "false vacuum" will come to pass due to it would have fucking happened already, also strangelet/proton decay chain reaction/micro black hole would have happened here/moon/mars/other places/etc already.

Dr. Freeman, you really should not be out there. At the moment of
synapse as I teleport this chamber will be bathed in deadly particles that
have yet to be named by human science. Perhaps when I have the leisure to do
the work myself, I will name one after you. That way you will not be
completely forgotten. When the singularity collapses, I will be far away from
here, in another universe in fact. You on the other hand will be destroyed in
every way possible, and even some essentially impossible.

In a strange sort of way, I hope it actually does end the world.

>>49770616

Eh...when they first tested the A-Bomb they thought there was a possibility of the explosion setting the atmosphere on fire...didn't stop them :-(

>>49771023
OH SHI

TURN IT OFF!
TURN IT OFF!

Is this going to be the equivalent of dividing by zero, or worse?

It's time to wake up, Gordon. Wake up and smell the ashes.

>>49771075
Actually there is a distinct possibility it will not only end the world, but the entire universe

>>49770741

Put the steak in the collider, just for lols.

>>49771212
right around there, yeaH. that whole false/true vacuum thing would end the fucking *universe*, no joke.

>>49771288
i'm in my third year of studying physics but i never heard the term "false/true vacuum" in my entire life

elaborate

UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!

>>49771212

TURN IT OFF!
TURN IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF!

>>49771371
link.aps.org/doi/10.1103/PhysRevD.36.1088

Read up on it.

OH FUCK /b/! A HEADCRAB JUST TELEPORTED INTO MY HOUSE.

>>49770255
WINRAR

>>49771636
It's the "curved space-time" that interests me. Sounds directly out of Event Horizon, and we all know how THAT turned out!

HNGGGGGGGGG

This is the machine that aims to prove the existence of God (particles).

>>49771682
5 months you fucker.

>>49771868
NO SRSLY, I CAN HEAR IT IN MNY KITCHEN.

does it make icecream?

fucking eurofags and your fucking black hole machines and your fucking warm beer.

Quit trying to destroy my motherfucking universe and put the motherfucking beer in the motherfucking fridge. Fuck.

A field theory whose potential contains more than one stable or metastable minimum is considered. It is shown that if the vacuum energies are greater than zero gravitational effects make it possible for bubbles of a higher-energy ‘‘false vacuum’’ to nucleate and expand within a homogeneous region of a lower-energy ‘‘true vacuum.’’ A consequence of this is that in a de Sitter or de Sitter-like space-time any initial state will eventually evolve to a unique statistical mixture of all possible vacua. If the vacuum energies are relatively close, this statistical mixture can be described as a collection of subsystems in thermal equilibrium at the Hawking temperature.

How fucking simple is that?

>>49771995
in simpler terms, the effect is similar to rubbing catfood on your ballsack and then laying in a tanning bed that isn't plugged in. Get it now?

>>49772115
I thought it was more akin to rubbing ballsack on your tanning bed, and lying down in a cat food that wasn't plugged in, but okay.

>>49771922
5 MONTHS YOU FUCKING FUCKER.

In Soviet Russia, large hadrons collide YOU!

>>49771636
sounds fucking awesome
maybe i'll specialize on this shit

>>49772115
Holy shit, I just laughed SO GODAMN HARD. Thank you for making my day.

A winternet for you.

Helloooooo..........Gorrddoooonnnnnn......

>>49772218
a common mistake

>>49772115
Schroedinger's Catfood.

>>49772238
Oh please, do it. That's how all physicists start out.

I mean, Einstein was in his jewish backyard playing with jewish tonka trucks, when he heard his dad scream something about portons. He then said to his jewish self "Hey, maybe I'll specialize in this shit".

Please, you better go into that field with a better attitude than that. I shit you not, if you don't start out with at least a basic understanding, your brain will shit out your head.

>>49772115

>>49772330
fucking lold

>>49772424
i got 17/20 points in the last quantum mechanics exam and was among the best 10 in differential geometry in the 4th semester, does that count for anything?

$5.00 says we are all gona get raped by it

>>49772422
New theory takes physics world by storm!

>>49772424
>portons
lulwut

seriously though if it does fucking divide by zero/etc, it'll happen so fast that you'll never notice. why worry?

>>49772561
Perhaps...maybe you should move onto understanding space-time mechanics.

>>49772700
Lol...whoops. Meant to say portons.

Surly this is just a large particle accerllerator?

>>49772799
GODAMMIT.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/avoiddarkscience/

for all you Christfags, here's a petition

>>49772721
If it makes a black hole, it could take a long time before it completely destroys earth. Also, if something completely unexpected happens (like in Half-Life) we could be fucked up in ways completely outside our ability to understand.

>>49770180
>>49770616
>>49770616

i read a good article on this in the guardian(british newspaper) then laughed when i read "it could potentially create an unkown rift which could destroy the earth". it should be archived in the online site. might have a different name like proton collider which they called it alot.

>>49772803
Surely you're just an idiot?
THIS IS A DOOMSDAY DEVICE.
GERMANY WILL ONCE AGAIN RISE ABOVE THE ASHES AND TAKE OVER EUROPE.

>>49772774
well we already had dynamics in special relativity which was way too easy, and in the next year i'll attend general relativity classes (which won't be that hard cause it is pretty much nothing but differential geometry), as well as gravitational physics, cosmology and quantum field theory. i always planned on going in this direction, but i just learned about false vacuum and it sounds fucking awesome

does anon approve now?

I, for one, welcome our new Combine overlords.

>>49772911
THEN ONE OF US MUST TRAVEL TO THE XEN BORDERWORLD! NIHILANTH MUST BE STOPPED!

It's my birthday in May. I R sad.

>>49772981
i love it.
it will be like ctrl-alt-del at the keyboard of the universe

>>49772911
if it makes a black hole Hawking Radiation will almost immediately destroy it.

black holes are supposedly constantly popping in and out of existence at the quantum level.

>>49772892
Lol, look at the last signature.

>>49773010
Anon does, well done. MAKE US PROUD.

>>49771286
>>49771286

I lold.

>>49773011

That can...pick it up.

>>49773109
I just lol'd....HARD

Stop being so negative you lot. Sure it might kill us all, but think of the benefits. Gravguns and Headcrabs for all!

>>49773174
Assuming that our theories about black holes are correct. Keep in mind that we can't really get close enough to them to study them properly.

>>49773185
HOLY SHIT ONE OF US SIGNED IT.

>>49770180
Don't collide me bro :(

>>49773358
Yea, srsly. Hawkings Radiation is only a theory. No one knows if it's true.

russians hiding in a cave predicted we all gonna die soon so i can't wait for 5 months

Goddamn you /b/. I could be playing Call of Duty 4 on my PS3 right now but I find this topic so much more stimulating and interesting.

I can still get a degree in that time. Not that it will matter much.

>>49773535
Ahahah, welcome /b/rother. You are now one of us.

>>49772892
Lol...15 signatures...

wait a sec...WHO THE FUCK SIGNED THIS AS BIX NOOD?!

>>49773010
>>49773225
samefag. also, why the fuck do you feel the need to defend yourself or prove yourself on an anonymous image board?

in (way) after hl reference

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

ROBOT GOATSE

NOW YOU CANT UNSEE IT

>>49773708
OH SHI---

>>49773900
Actually, no. The second one was me. That was actually 2 people having a conversation. You know what a conversation is right? Oh, right, you don't leave your bedroom.

>>49773900
i don't, fuck you!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/avoiddarkscience/signatures.html

hahaha, everybody sign and raid this shit

THIS IS SCORPIO. I HAVE THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE;
DELIVER THE GOLD OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!

>>49773813

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>49774016
gogogogogo

Chargin' mah hadronz

>>49774016
Lol, I was the first one to sign that as Bix.

Do I win?

Howard the duck is gonna fall outta that thing

>>49774326
yes

now we need more lulzy signatures.

>>49774326
No. No, you don't.

>>49773535
Wtf are you doing here. Go paly the game, it's made of win.

You better not be colliding my mother fucking hadrons.

This is what happens when we try to understand Prothean technology...

>>49774016
Mootle Sukkakok in Handyville?

ITS GONNA TEACH US HOW 2 HYPERSPACE LOL

>>49770486
I don't know what that is.
I guess we'd better just not bother it.
It doesn't even look interesting anyway.
It could be dangerous.
Or really
Really
Boring.
It could be one of those stupid funhouse mirrors
That make you look fat.
Not that you need help.
So leave it alone.
I have cake.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
It's definately not going to slam atoms into each other.
I guess we'd just better do something else.
Right?
Right?
Hello?
Warming Neuro-Toxins...

>>49774512
SO WHAT IF I AM.

If (in real life) a single employee or scientist mentions the name Aperture or Borealis, I am going to FREAK. THE FUCK. OUT.

>>49774999
Now you're thinking with portals!

>>49774999
That would be pretty fucking crazy.

Sooner or later we're going to have handheld portal devices.

>>49775067
>>49775079
H-H-Hivemind?

More people need to sign that.

If anyone actually invents a portal device...what would that do for us? Like, if it was available to a comsumer...

>>49775234
It would be the most fun you would have with physics EVER! Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out...

>>49775234
I would buy that shit in a heartbeat, my GOD. But lol, imagine if people forgot to close their portals on the streets.

>>49774999
those aren't names, these are actually scientific terms.
aperture is a property of a lense and aurora borealis are northern lights.
i'm not a half-life-fag but i'm sure you knew that.

BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY UNFORSEEN CONSEQUENCES

ASIMO?!

spoiler that wont happen in one year and 6 months the earths decaying orbit brings it to close to the sun

>>49775291
fucking seconded

You know what's gonna happen?

Nothing.

>>49775342
No, I know those things, but it would be creepy if an employee/scientist working on the Hadron Colldier mentioned those things because he/she would have no need to mention it...

>>49775370
No, I do know about your forseen consequences.

so nobody actually has any confidence in these scientist and don't think they don't know what they're doing? I mean yeah, you'll get a disagreement here and there, but it's 4 scientist against 7000 of them. Plus most of our greatest discoveries were hair brained, like Einstein's theory of relativity or Sir Issac Newtons Theory of Special Relativity...

>>49775580
Most people would just fall huge distances and die - you'd need heelsprings to cushion the landing.

http://info.web.cern.ch/public/en/LHC/Safety-en.html

Now everybody STFU, nothing will happen. I too wish something awesome would happen too.

ANyone else think this thread is epic and deserves an archive?

>>49775624
>>49775624
>>49775624
>>49775624
>>49775624
>>49775624

>>49775878
...but I have a pet headcrab now.

YOUR SCIENCE CAN'T DISPROVE THAT?!

Nobody reallyl believes this thing to be the death of us. It was all just a joke... the only people that actually worry about it are the idiots that don't really understand what /b/ is about and are currently under the impression that everything we do and say around here is the cold, hard truth.

>>49770243
> Hardon
Fix'd

>>49775878
>noting will happen

According to the people making the thing. Never trust the people who are making something to be honest about it.

oh oui

>>49776014
I'm just sure that nothing will happen. It's usual in life to get excited about something, and then it ending up being shitty. Like hellgate london.

WTF are they going to do once they actually use it,


"Oh right, interesting results......"
They will probably get bored and decide to sent a cat around at near light speed for the lulz.

Larger harder proton accelerator

>>49776127
And by nothing, i mean nothing that we can give a fuck about. I'm sure physicts will cream their pants about the results and come up with a new theory that will explain the creation of the universe, and has no impact on the real world.

Other disaster scenarios typically involve the following theoretical events:

* Creation of strange matter that is more stable than ordinary matter
* Creation of magnetic monopoles that could catalyze proton decay
* Creation of a strangelet


Danger of strangelets: catalyzed conversion to strange matter

If the strange matter hypothesis is correct then when a strangelet from space hits the Earth (or any other lump of ordinary matter) it could convert it to strange matter. The disaster scenario is this: one strangelet hits a nucleus, catalyzing its immediate conversion to strange matter. This liberates energy, and sends pieces (more strangelets) flying in all directions. These merge with other nuclei and convert them, leading to a chain reaction, at the end of which all the nuclei of all the atoms have been converted, and Earth has been reduced to a hot cloud of strangelets.

>>49776238
Quantum Caturday!

New Scientist says that there's a one in 50,000,000 chance that at some point over the collider's 10 year run there will be an epic fail that kills everyone.

But then, people DO win the lottery...

larger...

>>49776372

you fail at statistics.

The lottery has millions and millions of trials, what this means is that they ran the LHC for 50,000,000 10-year terms, then 1 would destroy things. They are running for only 1 10-year. Negligable.

For the lottery, you have hundreds of millions of trials, and for every few tens of millions of failures you have a success. Different story.


tl;dr: gb2/probability&statistics/

>>49776372
That's because millions of people play on it.
There's no millions of LHCs.
So no.

>>49776533
There is still a chance that it will destroy the universe. Any chance greater than 0% means it could happen.

EPIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCC

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
CERN Laboratories
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat particle collider.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing slightly delayed.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE

>>49776637
No shit mister retardus,
you mean larger than zero means LARGER THAN ZERO?
He said Negligible, not impossible.

Did you know pieces of matter just stop existing for no apparent reason all the time.

So it's also possible for the earth to just stop existing.
That doesn't mean it would actually happen.

>>49776572
>>49776533

I'm not saying that it compares to the lottery because almost every time there's a lottery there's a win.
I'm saying that it's like playing the lottery. You COULD win. But it's a tiny chance.
I thought that was obvious.

I wonder what it'll look like inside it when it's turned on...

>>49776917
Just because it HASN'T happened yet doesn't mean it won't happen. For all you know, the LHC might just cause the earth to stop existing.

>>49776981
Pretty fucking dark.

holy shit

>>49776981
Xen.

>>49771995

Am I retarded for not having any fucking clue what I just read?

>>49777115
Yes.

>>49771995

Am I retarded for not having any fucking clue what I just read?

They're going to do the equivalent of divide by zero.

When the experiment actually happens, everyone in /b/ say OH SHI-

Looks like the inside of a particle accelerator...
OR MAYBE THE INSIDE OF A SECRET ALIEN BASE INSIDE YOUR MOM(!)!(!)!(!)

I for one welcome this equal opportunities approach to total destruction of everything. We've been doing it very inefficiently so far.

>>49770255
That's a T-shirt slogan waiting to happen. Or perhaps it already has.

>>49777010
And for all you know it might turn itself into a giant masturbating bunny, covering the entire alps in it's bunny man-juices.

But the scientists working on this thing DO have an idea of it's power and about what they are recreating.
So don't expect any bunnies to come on our heads just yet.

>>49777010

but the chances are so low that they are effectively zero.

When you have 10^10^24 possible states, 1 state causes de-existence, and 10^10^24 - 1 don't, it's pretty clear what we can expect WONT happen in the anticipated 10^21 years during which baryonic matter will exist.

gb2 statistical mechanics, sheesh.

I can't wait until May... if nothing happens then all you science-is-bad fags are wrong about the Moonlanding being faked as well.

Test specimen goes where?

>>49777186

That would be great to see. Everyone in the world suddenly looking shocked, then saying "OH SHI-"
Very Hitchhiker's Guide.

>>49777250
HOLY SHIT EVERYONE THIS RIGHT HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT IT'LL DO 110% CERTAIN OF IT!

Someone explain it in terms an imbecile like me would be able to comprehend, please.

4chan science agrees. The Large Hadron Collider will make giant masturbating bunnies that cum strange matter. It are a fact. I know because of my learnings.

>>49777455
Power goes on. Universe turns off.

>>49777455

Big machine takes stuff like protons and whams them together hard enough to break them, then looks at the pieces in an attempt to understand how they tick.

Slight chance of kaboom if some people who smoked too much weed when doing their math are right.

>>49777455
1. Spin some particles round a couple mile circle.
2. Smash em' together.
3. SCIENCE
4. ???
5. World ending profit!

>>49777707
>Slight chance of the universe surviving if some people who smoked too much weed when doing their math are right.

Fix'd.

>>49777250
Acutally, the de Sitter theory predicts that crossing the Einstein-Podolski-Rosen bridge could cause an unstable quark-gluon gas which leads to the decay of bosons with isospin 1/2, that essentially would create a giant bunny. No shit

earth is constantly bombarded by particles moving faster than the particles in this machine will be accelerated to, you'd have to be retarded to think this thing could do anything more than give some nerds a detailed look at some smashed up subatomic particles

>>49777872
Photons don't count, dumbass.

>>49777455
really tiny but fucking fast shit collides with other shit of opposite speed and gordon freeman looks what will happen

Question: What if we accelerated a twinkie with this thing?

>>49770321
and then they built the super colider...

>>49777872

Exactly what we want it to do. Thanks <3

Remembah de six million!

>>49770180

>>49777959
That would be to large and too heavy.
Lame machine when you think about it.

Large Hadron Collider WILL destroy the universe. Stop thinking with your brain and think with your gut. It never gets confused with pointless little matters like facts and evidence.

The LHC...It's Power level...IT"S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAND

>>49773238
hey didn't i see you somewhere before

>>49770965
Do atoms count as balls?

If so, I say dear Watson, we're screwed.

>>49778120

Large Hogan Collider

>>49777930
Heard of cosmic radiation, dumbass?

Or mabie supernovas hurdling partices at meters/sec under the speed of light?

Did anybody else thing Goatse when they fire saw the OP pic?

>>49778373
CHAOS THEORY SUGGESTS OTHERWISE!

Why don't we like aim the hardon collidor at some communist country?

>>49778439
Is that the secret they've been hiding?

>>49778499
It's aimed in all directions at once, including forward and backward in time.

shits awesome

>>49778499
>>49778499
you can't aim it, you fucking asshole.

I can see it now, all tv stations change to how there was an accident, everyone on /b/ screaming "WE TOLD YOU BUT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DIDN'T LISTEN"

>>49778558

I can see it now, all tv stations change to how there was an accident, everyone on /b/ screaming "WE TOLD YOU BUT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DIDN'T VISIT OUR SECRET HACKER WEBSITES"


fix'd

>>49778543
so, either they never activate it in the future, or nothing happens?

>>49778373
There is a difference between particles hurtling at those kind of speeds, and a particle at that kind of speed hitting one coming the other way just as fast.

>>49778549
IT AIMS YOU MOTHERFUCKER, YEAH

>>49778499

Because /b/ loves communism comrade.

>>49778499
Because then we would achieve nothing.
Shooting a gun from Switzerland in their direction would probably be more useful.
Because although these particles have incredible speed, they have very little mass, so the total energy is not all that big.

I saw this fucking awesome TV show which was like a documentry of the future. And they did this experiment and created a Strangelet or some shit. And whatever touches the Strangelet becomes a Strangelet. Then all the Strangelets bond together. And create this tiny dense ball of darkmatter. Everything on earth was absorbed into it over the course of a day or two. And then the planet was converted to darkmatter.
Technically, it could absorb the universe, given enough time.

FUCK YEAH DESTROYING THE UNIVERSE.

>>49778646
not really, einstein says otherwise (relativity). the only difference is the energy, so the particle beam must be faster with a fixed target. but the cosmic radiation has even more energy than that.

>>49778646
I would accept that, except that super coliders can barely get particles to 40% light speed. 40% x2 = 80% relative light speed

99.999999% SOL(Speed Of Light) > 80% SOL

/b/, I am amazed by your smartness today.
Free internets all around.

i have a question anonymous. if there is an infinite number of universes and every single concievable scenario is played out; since the chances of this experiment flaring up and destroying the world are greater than zero, deosn't that mean that in at least one of the alternate universes, this accident actually happens and the human race is responsible for destroying the entire universe?

>>49778689
it has the energy of a 400 ton train driving at 150km/h

>>49778899

Not taking a collision into consideration.

>>49778899
wrong, particles in the lhc are easily faster than 99.9999% of the speed of light

>>49778938
Don't give any to the retard who thinks it won't do anything. Reason is the greatest enemy /b/ has, so don't reward it.

>>49778959
Yes.

>>49778959
If you accept divergent universes, then yes. In fact humanity would have destroyed the universe infinite times.

>>49778959

If that was true then somewhere in those infinite worlds every single thing that ever happens causes the collapse of the multiverse. Eating toast? Somewhere in those infinite versions of that it causes the end of things.

>>49778959
if this was true, then there would be infinitly universes where they invented the lhc 10 years earlier and therefore everything would have ceased to exist

49778899

SOL (Speed of Light)= C
just use that dude, C is so much easier
(and for those who don't know, E=MC^2 {Energy equal mass times the speed of light squared})

>>49779058
Ok then.
Free internets all around apart from the morons using sense who think that nothing will happen.

>>49778499
PARTICLE COLLIDERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY
GOOD NIGHT

>>49778959

Yes it does. One of us will die

>>49779138

There would also be universes where mankind never existed in the first place.

>>49778959
If you believe in causality(which you should) then there is only one way each situation can play out,
so only one reality.
So no, the universe would be destroyed nowhere.

On the other hand, say there are more ways of a situation to play out, as every situation could conceivably destroy the universe in some way, you masturbating WILL destroy the universe in this reality or the next.
So don't do that then.

>>49779159
/thread

>>49778977

Now everyone imagine two of these colliding, but on an atomic scale (two tiny trains, same size explosion)
FUCK YEAH SCIENCE

>>49778499

COSMIC RAYS
SUPER POWERS

I now know what I have to do.

As long as this Gigantic Erection Smasher doesn't bring a headcrab exodus upon us, I'm easy.

>>49779227
In those universes whatever else evolved into intelligencer (simian intelligence works best, because hand, you know?) may eventually create a LHC, then destroy the universe

wait, can someone explain to me wat is that?

>>49779241
Even with causality taken into account, you seem to be ignoring humanity's free will. Even if one thing leads to another, there will invariably be choises that we make that will affect these things too.
Thus alternate realities is still a valid argument.

>>49778845

DOCUMENTARY OF THE FUTURE

LALHUH

ANON


What the fuck is this thing???

>>49778977
You try shooting that train at a communist country from Switzerland and see how much damage that does.

>>49779403
>simian intelligence works best, because hand, you know?

Oh yeah? Fuck your theory!

>>49779430
If you don't get it, GTFO may /b/

>>49779425
Humanities free will is but a metaphysical discussion.
Truth is that our decisions are made by our brains, subject to the laws of psychics.
So no, not a valid point.

>>49779403
If so, theres probably a reality where no life exists. Boring as shit, but at least we don't blow it up.

And if oppposable thumbs are your basis for dominant species, I'm voting for an alternate universe where horses with hands exist.

>>49779571
This is all I have to say to that.

>>49779431
a...communist country...from..Switzerland?

what could go wrong?

>>49779571
>psychics
lol

>>49779431
Even taking the smaller friction of the particles into account, it would all pale in comparison to a conventional explosive weapon.

>>49779627
Centaurs?

>>49779571
Ah, but I could easily make a choice as to whether or not to respond to this thread. Or what goes in my sandwich. How does particle physics influence that?

>>49779702
truth

>>49779431
...more than shooting a gun in its vague direction?

>>49779431
This is what scientists SHOULD be doing! A train catapult!

>>49779712

>>49779660
see
>>49776344

>>49779656
Please try to keep up.
Some /b/tard suggested shooting particles from the LHC to a communist country.
The LHC is in in Switzerland, so if we want to compare it to a train it should also start from there.

>>49779712
FUCK YEAH CENTAUR REALITY!

>>49779744
Yes, because theoretically the physics of your neural connections follow a set of rules, thus given the exact same input we can expect the sane output. Like a computer program.

>>49779828
BRILLIANT

>>49779744
neurons in your brain are bound to obey the laws of quantum physics, which are ruled by probabilities. your brain then gives you the impression, you actually decided to do what did.

>>49779778
Probably still none at all though.
So the comparison stands.

Even wondered what the end of the universe will sound like? It'll be like 1000000000 Margerie Brubakers shouting in your ear at once.

>>49779926
Computers never do what they're supposed to. Press any key to continue.

>>49780012
It will sound like angels trumpets and the screaming a 8 billion sinners.

>>49780012
It will sound like you having sex.

It'll never happen.

>>49779926
Different humans have different programming.

>>49780104
You sir are a faggot.


Obvious shoop.

>>49780153
True, but the program could be decompiled.

>>49780013
in /b/s case, we all get the BSOD on a regular basis

>>49780013
WHERE IS THE ANY KEY!?

>>49780220
Reboot.

>>49780186

Think of the multiple quantum outcomes we're in for!

I'm rooting for the strangelets

for fucks sake we've been talking about that damn thing in /x/ for about 3 months now. maybe earlier. i think the consensus is that nothing's going to happen.

>>49780380
I pick option negative B minus.

It's the one where I get laid.

Well fuck. Enjoy life while you can. I guess it's better this way though...we won't have to see a Hillary or Obama presidency...

world will end

>>49779858
how does that even look like a centaur

>>49780598
Bench is horse part, person sitting on bench is torso, legs are PENIS

>>49780459
I WANT TO BELIEVE

no

>>49780459
/x/ is completely out of touch with reality. Those people are crazy.

>>49780667
wouldn't the PENIS be under the horse part?

>>49780800
Depends wether you prefer mancock or horsecock.

This thread is now about centaur's cocks.

>>49781068
Horse sized, mansized, or two cocks?

This is officially the smarted thread on /b/ evar.

>>49780459
Oh yeah? Well /b/ has been talking about it for a few weeks, and since there are more people here, we've jumped to our conclusions in a fraction of the time it took you to, and our general consensus is that it will divide by zero and that you are wrong.

I think LHC is a pretty cool guy, eh destroys the universe and doesnt afraid of anything

PROTIP:
all scientists at cern are in fact /b/tards and trolling here for the lulz

Hey /b/, while I'm sure the scientists at cern pay close attention to the uneducated theorycrafting of Anon, before we keep going with this I'd like to give everyone something to put in their pipe and smoke before moar poasting

Yes, some events in the galaxy get particles moving this fast, yes collisions of particles happen all over the place in the universe all the time, the 2 things to consider:

1. The universe is full of scary shit we don't want on top of earth, and for all we know, collisions of this type are what creates one of your favorite astronomical occurances.

2. Remember that PSA where the 2 cars hit each other? They both move at 30 MPH and collide head-on, giving them both 60 MPH worth of shock. The amount of energy released by a head-on collision between 2 near light speed photons is therefore the same as them being stopped at well over the speed of light. Odds of this happening naturally in the universe are pretty small, seeing as how you need something big to make this happen naturally, and for all we know this is how something in space is formed naturally, something hot and big. This is why people are worried, there be dragons.

just go back to fapping to yaoi mmmmmmk?

>>49781280
What if a car made of diamond hit a wall made of iron?

>>49781280
>The amount of energy released by a head-on collision between 2 near light speed photons is therefore the same as them being stopped at well over the speed of light.
What the fuck, /b/. What the fuck.

>>49781114
This is officially the smarted thread on /b/ evar.
>officially the smarted thread
>the smarted thread
>smarted

>>49781280
I love you.

>>49781114

Well maybe the LHC is what causes the big bang.
Every time it starts with us humans.

WTF MAY 2008?!

Those fuckers better not set this shit off before my birthday.

>>49781467
this is indeed some well articulated bullshit

>>49781280
actually no

>>49781280
WAIT, SO THE HARDON COLLIDERATOR CAN MAKE DRAGONS!? HOLY SHIT THATS SO AWESOME!!!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/avoiddarkscience/signatures.html

RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

>>49781547
All I can say is Happy Birthday, lol.

>>49781512
Fuck I lol'd

>>49781519

Each time the universe is recreated it is due to us?
Heh.

WOAH GUISE IM GOING TO CERN IN MARCH MAYBE I SHOULD TOTALLY ASK THEM?

>>49781705
>>49781705
>>49781705
I'm not that other guy, but fuck.

This Cinco De Mayo coming up I turn 21, so I'll probably die anyway, since they're on the same day, but if they set off the Hadron Collider, that'd be an awesome birthday present.

>>49781519

Awesome shit!
And then we evolve from our own scattered particles?

I assume it will be something like this

So, the swiss are building a doom's day device eh? Do you think it will be atleast the same quality as Ikea?

>>49781835

I guess.

But then what made the original big bang.
There's always questions.

>>49781817
I don't speak whatever language that is. What did you say?

somebody call gordon freeman NOW!!

>>49781851
Hay guise, the Hadron Collidor I ordered has just come in the post a- OH WHAT THE FUCK THOSE BASTARDS SENT IT FLATPACKED?

>>49781851
maybe if the Swedes were doing it, you fucking moron.

>>49770255
i lol'd

>>49781909
The previous LHC.

>>49781918
May 5th = drunk day, for whatever reason.
Turning 21 on said drunk day.
CERN setting off sometime in may.

It'll be a good birthday.

btw I hope the mana beast comes and fucks up your mana fortress, CERN.

>>49781851
it is just placed in switzerland. i doubt that there are significantly more swiss scientists at cern. it is an international project

what does this thing do?

>>49770508
Shit, dude, you're so smart it's giving me a HARD ON.

Are jews involved whith it ?

>>49782040

And the one before that?

Eventually there has to be a point before a LHC.

>>49770439

STUPID TYPE THIRTEEN PLANET

>>49782155
Assuming that there is a beginning.

>>49782155
Not really. It may just prove the theory that time is circular.

>>49782155
nope

>>49770439

But then it won't be classified as a planet anymore :(

>>49781512
lol

I DESTROYED A UNIVERSE!!

>>49781851
Bad news everybody. The super collider I bought super exploded!

>>49781280
> The amount of energy released by a head-on collision between 2 near light speed photons is therefore the same as them being stopped at well over the speed of light.

RELATIVITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

HISTORY CHANNEL SAID IT WAS SAFE!


THEY CAN'T BE WRONG! OH GOD THEY LIED TO ME!

>:3

>>49782443
JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION KILL IT WITH HADRON COLLISION!

i bet a terrorist is going to blow everything

Anyone have the motivational posted yesterday that had the Hardon collidor with the two PENISes flying at each other?

>>49781479
Forgot the > in front of the first sentence, you bag of dicks.

>>49782442
It's a conspiracy, see, it's the history channel, they're really behind it, and lying to you. It hasn't happened yet, albeit in other universes it has, but not "here."

They know what's going to happen.

They know.

>>49782529
I bet the scientists really are terrorists.

I predict that when the LHC is powered up for the first time, all that will happen is we will be born again.
That is the next memory each of us will have.
None of use will remember the LHC obviously.

I think that it will cause the shrinking of the universe to a point where it explodes again. Big Bang 2.0.

However as it shrunk on its self, it will create the exact same conditions that sparked the original universe.

LHC is that little reset button that you need to put a pin in to press.

>>49782529
Sounds sexy.

>>49782606

>>49770253
An Intergalactic Rape Device.

>>49782710

I'd stick my cock in that.

LOL HADRON SOUNDS LIKE HARDON!

brb collidin sum hardons...

This thing shall cause the events of Half-life 2 to take place.

>>49782807

THATS WHY ITS CALLED A HARDON COLLINDER LOL

Ah, we'll be fine. The real things that could go wrong are interesting enough; each particle beam in the LHC will have enough energy to liquefy a half-ton of copper, packed in a few thousand particles. If they get pointed in a straight line by accident they will punch right through the tunnel wall and explosively drill tens of metres through solid rock. They are basically real-world sci-fi particle cannons only cripplingly short ranged if used in an atmosphere (well, not that short ranged actually... just compared to stuff like artillery, which is all they would be good for)

>>49781386
>>What if a car made of diamond hit a wall made of DragonForce?

Fix'd

>>49782824
COCKS! EVERYHWERE!

>>49782863
Not exactly handheld though, is it?

Yotsuba: Error 404! Universe cannot be found - OHNOES!!!1

>>49782632
/r/ the pbf comic with the reset button

Before we die I just want to say this: I love you anon.

>>49782863
You mean like.. Photon Torpedoes?

>>49782954

Nope. More of a starship main weapon really. In space it'd have much better range.

>>49782885

>What if a car made of diamond hit a wall made of DragonFail?

Double-fixed

>>49783055

Alot more powerful. Like, WAAAAAY more powerful. But then those torpedoes are a bit more compact.
However, if you had a fusion reactor for your power source, this thing could fire alot more shots than you could carry torpedos, and would get there faster as well.

ARCHIVE DIS SHIT

>>49783229
Death Star!

>>49782863
>>49782863
>>49782863
naw man i got one on my keychain we use it to punch holes in space time all the time. Ever wonder why sometimes you hear random shit? That's us using wormholes to fuck with you.

Can you say delicious cake barrier breaker?

>>49783244

No no NO!

You massive faggot.
Go kill self.

>>49783040
I love you too.

>>49783214
>What if a diamond made of cars hit a Dragonwall made of fail?

re-re-re fix'd

>>49783336
Disregard that, I suck large hardons.

Guys calm down.
Small black holes disappear quite speedily. If it were to spawn "lol mini blak holez" they'd go away before any bad consequences would happen. Trust me, they have other particle accelerators that have generated miniature black holes and the world hasn't ended, omai.

>>49783244

There is one of these threads every day.
Go suck a hadron.

>>49783374
Why is the cake so square?

>>49783447
Those other particle accelerators weren't the LHC, were they?

>>49783447
o rly

>>49783447
Black Holes? In MY Laboratories?

It's more likely than you think.

>>49783447
What about strangelets?

>>49783497
>>49783497
big birthday, shut the fuck up.

I bake square cake all the time

>>49783613
Fuck strangelets, I'm more worried about portal storms.

>>49783447
1) No they haven't. Miniature black holes(quantum black holes) Are entirely theory.

2) If one were made, we really would be screwed (If it lasted long enough to get to the edge of the superconductor tube)

This is a possible outcome, anon.

5 months? I'm off house arrest in 16 days!

1. Go to poolsclosed.net
2. Click a link
3. ????
4. PROFIT!

dont worry guise, mr. freeman is going to save us all

>>49783882
lolwut

In May of 2008 I will use a Large Hadron Collider to make a black hole and destroy the Universe unless I am given... ONE HUNDRED... TRILLION DOLLARS!

>>49783928
I hope so.

>>49783882
FUUUUUUCK!!!

Mini portals ripping through everything?

>>49775291
I lol'd

Will this activate the rings?

Yes, I would hit it.

Goddamn you people are stupid.

>>49784333
Welcome to 4chan.

yup, we all are.

>>49784333
see
>>49781114

I hope something really awesome happens.
If all that happens is that two particles hit each other, but not much else, I'm going to be severely dissappointed.

SHI-

hope something happens

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/avoiddarkscience/signatures.html

Gay for Jesus?

Thanks /b/

And here we see out division-by-zero machine, in the hangar next to the stranglet factory. Some interesting results from there these last few weeks actually...

57 4chan.org Did this 8 13 4chan.org BB Yes, we did

who will save us?

SHI-

If the black hold got out and half absorbed someone and then died, what would happen?

Taken from the CERN website.

The gargantuan ATLAS particle detector is seven stories tall. Physicists hope to use it to answer fundamental questions about mass, "dark matter" and perhaps even discover extra dimensions to space-time.


I hate physics, but this shit is fucking cool as hell.

>>49785304
So technically it could open up a portal to an alternate universe?

Teh way i r see tihs it r an 50/50 chaenc

eidder we r teh die or w r teh livez!

I remember this movie. it's where scientists pretend to know what they're doing, lose control of the situation and destroy half the human race.

2nd impact, ftw.

>>49785154

what?

Here i was thinking they would just open a blackhole to trow garbage in...

scientists say these are how likely these are to happen:
-9 in 10 the Higgs boson field will be discovered
-3 in 5 dark matter will be revealed
-3 in 7 super symmetry with quantum particles
-1 in 25 an extra dimension is found (explaing why gravity is diluted)
- 1 in 1,000 harmless mini blakchole are created
-1 in 10 million a parrallel universe is discovered
-1 in a googol the vacum of the universe is unstable and the collider decays it, resulting in division by zero.

>>49785608
woo proton decay!

>>49785608
Anything can sound more official if you make up statistics. 9 out of 10 people know that.

totally gay if hadrons are touching

>>49776014
Fucking. Seconded.

SHI-

>>49785816
Gay for Jesus!

>>49785608

so what are the odds of explosions and killing shit?

>>49786137
1 in more likely than you think.

Those are statistics given by the scientists who built it and will use it.

problem is 0 out of them know for sure till they use it, so thats the mot accurate i could deliver.

from article that was prublished in a science magazine.

>The fact that planets and stars remain intact strengthens our confidence that LHC collisions are safe.

Lol.
It hasn't happened yet in our visible solar system, so it will never happen!
Obviously.

Seriously /b/, are we all going to die?

>>49786285
Yes.

>1 in 10 million a parrallel universe is discovered

About the same odds of winning the lottery I believe.

unlikely, but possible

all depends on how stable the universe is. i'm sure some race somewhere has already done this, and i don't feel anhilated yet.

>>49786363

But how would they discover an alternate universe?
I mean, do they just open the collider to see whats happened, and there's suddenly a universe in there? Or what?

LHC is actually adam's alarm clock.

way to go, cern.

SHI-

>>49786489
yes, but not before putting on an HEV suit first

I assume they see where the peices of the smashed particles go and also see if some shit shows up that wasn't in there before shows up or some energy is lost or gained that shouldn't be there, they'de chalk it up to another universe

>>49786608

Well obviously.

>>49786476
If the reaction moves at light speed, it could take a while to reach us.
>>49786489
Portals.

>>49786654

But that could have come from any number of logical places that aren't other dimentions

>>49786693
How stable/large is said portal? Where does it come out? Can you go through it? Does it go both ways?
You're buggered if you've just created a portal into deep space somewhere. Its like pulling the plug on the atmosphere

I think some lab somewhere proved that whilst the possibility of portals isn't totally impossible, if they were created, it would be near-impossible for matter to travel through it without being reduced to a pile of atoms on the other side.

tl;dr - portals can't put you back together

the portal would probably be sub-atom size.
I don't know much else.