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>fat girl
Call me shallow but no.

DONT DO IT. DONT.

This is thrilling like a horror movie!

>it's an acual pizza crust that was wedged between her leg and her cunt in a roll of fat
Oh sweet jesus

That's disgusting. And this is coming from a guy that likes fat girls (not hambeasts though). I guess I like the ones that don't leave food in their underwear.

>>6791267

Oh god...you should really control yourself from doing pathetic shit.

obviously this guy needs some advice on life

OP you are fucked. Please, please poison her and start a new life.

>just another hambeast thread
>read
>mfw
>mother of god

>>6791267
Why would you do that OP and why tell us?

well, I don't see any way around it, now

just make her birth your child and live a long, happy life with that disgusting animal

Fuck, you're either making this up or there are some seriously fucking gross people out there. No joke, I'd fuck a girl with a scat fetish before I'd fuck the chick you're describing OP.

But then what happened?

anyone else just want to know what happened next??
>mfw reading this

>don't have a reaction shot for the face I made, but this is the closest one I could find

>>6791469
>>6791472
Next mind

Jesus christ... What the fuck happened next OP? Was it good? Or did that turn you off from women?

hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahah
HAHAHAHAAH!

GOOD FUCKING GOD MAN

Look at your life.
Look at your choices.

she left a snack for you down there so you can stay there longer.

>>6791267
I'm fat and a femanon but even I recognize that you have writing talent. You should think about doing something (writing a book/blog etc). I'm sick of reading the same old shit.

I love Bukowski even though he didn't like my kind either (fat). Meh, I know I do it to myself (the fatness). Carry on.

> pull down her underwear and go down on her in the dark

Who the fuck would ever do this. Unless you know the person well...it's gonna be a 50/50 for rank or clean...

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

Every line of greentext is like descending into a new circle of Hell, except Hell, mercifully, is only nine circles deep.

Am I the only one who laughed uncontrollably at this super cool story?

I would never go down on a pussy I haven't met before unless I was really drunk.. and especially not with such a hambeast.

Man, I feel for you OP.

>THIS THREAD
>COMMENTS ARE PURE GOLD
FUCKING AMAZING /adv/

>>6791607
I laughed so hard it took me over 3 mins to type out this sentence. This is like classic /r9k/ greentext.

>>6791538
>mfw OP would probably go to town on you with or without pizza wedged into your panties

Ladies and gentlemen:

NEVER, and I mean NEVER fuck a fat girl. The second a fat girl thinks it's ok to be fat she gets self-esteem and that's not ok.

so you ate the crust right? sheeeeeiiit i wish I got little snacks like that

You wouldn't have had this problem if you'd just bought a hooker.

I needed that OP, that was fucking hilarious.

>This thread

man... I know fat girls who can possess you with their knowledge on life, poetry and romanticism. Not all fat girls are idiot hambeasts.

Oh dear fucking god I gagged.

I'm not the best weight, but I thank everything there is I would rather kill myself than be this weight.

So this is what /v/ needs advice for.

while reading this, I was holding my hand over my mouth like a little girl crying "DON'T DO IT.. DON'T DO IT..... NOOOO"

oh, wow.

>>6791267
I lol'd. Then cringed.

As a fat girl myself, it makes me pity that you'd be SO desperate for sex that you'd actually DO this. It also doesn't help your gender disprove that all women believe that men are literal SLAVES to their penis.

>>6791329
>>6791329
JESUS FUCKING WHAT?

>this thread

>it's an acual pizza crust that was wedged between her leg and her cunt in a roll of fat

>pizza crust that was wedged between her leg and her cunt in a roll of fat

>pizza crust wedged in a roll of fat

MYEYESDEARGODMYEYES.jpeg.gif.png.

OP, you are a sad, sad man my friend.

It makes me glad I don't have a penis so I can make rational decisions even when horny (With only slight difficulty)

Should have went with a hooker dumbass.

NOPE.JPG

>pull out my mobile phone to shine some light onto what it is

Lady cave is so dark and dank it requires external illumination. That, or the hambeast was so hideous the room was in blackout mode.

>it's an acual pizza crust that was wedged between her leg and her cunt in a roll of fat

HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK WHY WOULD YOU LET YOUR PENIS ANYWHERE NEAR A WOMAN SO FAT THAT THINGS CAN HIDE IN HER FUCKING LEGS/CROTCH?

>it's soggy as shit from either the pussy juice or the sweat

OR BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY ROTTING

>mfw I realise where my life has led me

No, this should have been your face.

>>6791267
>it's an acual pizza crust that was wedged between her leg and her cunt in a roll of fat
>it's soggy as shit from either the pussy juice or the sweat
>mfw I realise where my life has led me

Oh good lord! Worst I ever had was a chubby girl with some hairy tits, but this... this is foul.

>Want to reply with my own fat girl story
>Realise it will never be worse than OP
>Stop writing mid-post

>>6791267
Oh dear god in heaven.... You should kill yourself.

yeah, sure.

>mfw I read the story and started laughing like mad
>mfw I search for this particular face and crop it out of a comic just to post
>mfw Im still laughing with tears in my eyes

too disgusting/humiliating to be real yet at the same time... i have a sad, strange feeling that it is...

Definitely archive material. Good job OP, that was a horrifying yet compelling story. I want to know more.

THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE, OP :( STOP

More fat girl tales though, please.

>>6791953

Fat chicks can be fine, if they're *clean*
OP's girl was most certainly NOT.

how did she not notice a pizza crust wedged in there????!?!?!


JESUS CHRIST YOU WOMEN ARE ANIMALS

>>6791267
>I come on to /adv/ to kill time
>this is the first thread I see
>MFW

>op actually started this thread from his mobile phone
>op never escaped

>>6793191
DEAR LORD

>>6793163
>Fat
>Clean

Choose one.

>>6791267

>Whale female friend asked me to come over to watch a movie
>I was bored
>Haven't showered for three days so I know nothing would happened
>Go over to her place
>We watch a movie
>Suddenly she starts touching my thigh
>She gives me a greasy kiss on my neck and goes down
>Whips my dick out
>It reeks of sweat and smegma
>Tell her I haven't showered for three days
>She just giggles and says "You know.. Fat girls gives the best blowjobs, since they're always hungry.."
>Pulls my foreskin down
>Starts licking smegma off my dick
>Throw up a little in my mouth
>Spit it out on the floor
>Pull my pants up
>Run out of the apartment
>Haven't heard from her since then

>>6793191

>mfw I realised this was a drawing of OPs story
>mfw I realised it's actually pretty good
>mfw I have no face

>>6793191

>>6793238
>You know.. Fat girls gives the best blowjobs, since they're always hungry..

I lol'd.

I've always been curious about this.

>>6793238
man...
where's
>the spaghetti treat falls off from my pocket
end?

>>6793191
holy shit did you actually draw a picture of OP? someone archieve this shit

I'm so sorry......You have to understand that your hand and some lube is leagues better than fucking a fat chick...

final version, over9000 hours in photoshop

my way to thank op for this awesome story he shared with us right before he died in the depths of the pizzacrusthambeast

R.I.P.

>>6793238

EWWW. I've heard this before and it's NOT true. Trust me. Skinny girls are better at it because they don't slobber on it like it's a fucking hot dog or some shit.

>mfw I think about my own experiences with hambeasts

>>6793191
>>6793191
upon his realization.. he just... gave up living

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

>>6793191
OH MY FUCKING GOD
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

10/10
lol'd wholeheartedly

>>6793549

archived !
op will never be forgotten

>>6793238

> told a girl i had the hershey squirts
> she wanted to down on me anyway
> let her
> let loose one, squirted on the bed
> she started licking it up
> open the door
> get on the floor
> everybody walk the dinosaur

>at a party with friends, couple cute girls and us are playing drinking games
>hambeast joins in, excited to be sitting across me
>keeps grabbing my drink to try it, flirts with me, grabs my hand
>drops her cards on purpose, has to pick them up and runs hand up my leg and inside my thigh
>everyone looks at her, then at me, I laugh it off and proceed to just get drunker
>two hours later, she's sitting next to me on the couch watching a movie and starts rubbing my thigh/stroking dick through pants. I am too blasted to care and decide I'm going for it
>up in her room, rip off her bra and find these massive size E boobs. motorboat them
>she tells me to stop being a "boy" and be a "man," throws me over and gets on top to try and fuck me cowgirl style. starts jiggling her tits and I can feel my dick getting crushed by her thighs
>my dick goes limp instantly
>calls me a faggot and slaps me out of her room
>proud of self for narrowly avoiding THAT disaster
>...girl still calls me to hang out for like two weeks after that. tries to catch me in the library to have sex, throws herself at me once again and grabs my crotch in front of everyone
> fall semester sophomore year tainted forever :|

I threw up a little

>>6793533
Yeah, okay, you boyish ho.

>mfw the next person to try the same thing on her will find OP's bones aswell as whatever food she has recently eaten (and possibly the same pizza crust)

>pull down her underwear and begin to go down on her in the dark.

you sick bastard

>Fat girl stories thread, 80 replies

I LOVE FAT GIRL STORIES

> Lady cave is so dark and dank it requires external illumination. That, or the hambeast was so hideous the room was in blackout mode.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike

Didn't happen to me; this is a friend

>Fat girl meets him at a party and asks for his number
>Doesn't care who he talks to, so he gives it out
>Texts him constantly to try and hook up
>Goes to see him at a basketball game, gets a drink with him after game
>Goes back to her place and immediately she slams him against the wall and they start making out
>He gets aroused and decides "wtf"
>She wants it in her ass, bends over and starts purring. He sees nothing but grease and bits of poo down her crack
>Vomits in mouth a little, asks her to get on top of him instead
>Starts riding him and cheering. Her tits are flopping all over, smacking her in the face a few times. He can feel her sweat and grease building in his lap
>He closes his eyes and just tries to get into it
>Suddenly he hears a yelp and a thump. Sees her lying on the floor, dazed
>She smacked herself with a tit in the face and lost balance, slipped on the sweatpool and landed on the floor
>Friend looks down at her, throws a towel, and walks out of the room with his clothes

Truth!

>4 year dryspell
>Getting desperate
>Have obese friend on facebook that has been flirty with me
>Ask for her number
>Ramp things up
>Meet her in person for the first time (she was a friend of a friend of mine that just randomly added me)
>Landwhale
>Despite this, she had very little ass, and it was shaped like an apple
>Have to start imagining how she'd look like if she were skinny to even be able to look at her
>Awkward conversation, play a couple of video games together
>Try to build tension, she gets the hint
>She rips her shirt off as I pull off mine
>By the time my shirt's off she's in just her bra, nothing else
>Belly hangs almost to her knees
>Unsure how her legs support this weight
>Gently lean her back onto her bed, making out
>Almost gag from the taste of garlic
>Make the mistake of going down on her
>Spread the seas
>"D-don't look, okay?"
>Don't think much of this until I see it.
>Underneath the forest of hair, her vagin is caked with smegma
>Feebly attempt to clean it off with fingers
>It glues to my hand to her thigh
>Feel it begin to absorb my hand
>I'm being sucked in
>Can hardly breathe as the hairy, sweaty lips greedily pull me in
>Got dropped on the floor
>Everybody do the dinosaur

Troll/10

Wow.. Fat people really are grotesque.

I call troll, no sane person would go down on a woman before having sex..

>>6794356

>>>/soc/5717399

disgusting yet hilarious, bravo

>>6794256
MOAR MOAR! I want to hear about how you started a new life in the belly of the beast and how there were heaps of other skinny neckbeards in there, just jerking off to the sound of her mammoth grunts, dining on the whole chickens she devoured.

fake, but hilarious
10/10

>meet girl online
>a bit of a fugly fucker but ye still wid
>go to see her
>bullshit it and never touch her

foreverapussy.xpi

>have no stories of my own
>want to hear moar
>bump

troll or not, i think we can all agree this is a masterclass in storytelling on OPs part.

bravo you sad, desperate man

Ugh, it's weird how people believe these stories.

I used to be a whale, and there's NO WAY I would let a precious piece of food get lost in a roll of fat.
I mean, how would that happen anyway?
Unless it dropped out of their mouth or something, then somehow got lodged in there (doubtful) and also somehow they forgot and moved onto eating something else or whatever.
And no matter how fat you are, you'd still feel a goddamn pizza crust.

Logic, people.

>>6791482

HAHA. mfw.

/thread

adr badr jeg skal aldrig være sammen med sådan et skinkebæst!

>>6795159

LIES! I'm a nurse and I've had to wash old, fat ladies. When we lift the folds, we find all sorts of weird shit, like tv remotes and hot wheel cars. Honest to god.

>>6791267
1. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER DO THIS?
2. why the FUCK did you go down on her?

Fuck you OP. I was eating pizza as I read this.

>mfw

>>6791267
WATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

> this happened to my uncle
> be 34
> come to high school party with me back in the day
> landwhale/ hambeast/ turtlegobbler sees him
> stomps over to him
> tells him she likes handlebar mustache and whispers that she can see his bulge
> he's surprised, tells her he is giving me a sober ride home
> doesn't stop her. asks if he wants to go outside into her hybrid
> he's single. doesn't care
> they go outside
> everyone in the room is shocked
> i'm embarrassed
> go outside, lock the door
> everybody walk the dinosaur

>>6795159
>I used to be a whale, and there's NO WAY I would let a precious piece of food get lost in a roll of fat

I lol'd so hard

you wouldn't of happen to have written this one op?
one for the ages.

i haven't been on /adv/ for weeks, now i remember why

>mfw OP still fucked her

Dear god...

>>6793914
> Lady cave is so dark and dank it requires external illumination. That, or the hambeast was so hideous the room was in blackout mode.

It is dark here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

ican'tstoplaughing

>shudder at the thought, the mind says no but the body is willing

My sides...I love you /adv/.

I died